The Hills

Spencer Pratt may have a hot new single and a ridiculous house in Hollywood thanks to his success on The Hills, but the Jersey Shore cast is not impressed.

Asked about The Hills cast, Jersey's Ronnie Magro said of his fellow MTV reality stars: "I’m not crazy about them. We’re doing better than them right now."

"They’re really not that big of a deal," Ronnie adds, noting that the only thing the West Coasters can do better than the Shore guidos is "outspend" them.

The guidettes would welcome a throwdown as well.

"It would be awesome to do The Hills versus Jersey Shore, like Real World/Road Rules Challenge. We would torture them," Jenni "J-WOWW" Farley said.

"We’d ruin them,” she said. “I’d take on all six girls!"

The cast of Jersey Shore thinks it's already out of The Hills' league.

According to Mike Sorrentino, a.k.a. "The Situation," he and his fellow cast members already had a Hills run-in, and it was clear who was looking up at who.

“Somebody called our publicist in L.A. and said, 'The girls from The Hills want to sit next to you in a club,'" The Situation said. “As soon as we walked in, I saw some girl running at me. That happens a lot to us, so we didn’t know who."

"She almost tackled me. I went, ‘Oh, she’s kinda cute.’ Then I saw it was Kristin Cavallari. I like to think that I’ve always had it like this, but not to this extent!”

We can only hope for a crossover episode featuring Justin-Bobby and Kristin's fake relationship intertwined with ridiculous Jersey Shore quotes. Give it time.

Perhaps the biggest sign they’ve made it? Snooki and The Situation were parodied on Saturday Night Live. “I thought it was hilarious,” Snooki, a.k.a. Nicole Polizzi, said of Bobby Moynihan’s SNL Snooki parody of her. "He said what I would say."

Which MTV show's cast do you like better?

You may exhale now. Audrina Patridge will be back on The Hills next season.

After weeks of negotiations, Us reports she will return: “I can officially confirm that Audrina Patridge will appear in the 6th season of The Hills," her rep said.

"Production will resume shortly after the new year. Next week, Audrina begins filming the pilot episode of her currently unnamed spinoff show, also for MTV."

"The new show will be produced by Mark Burnett."

Nice plug for the new show, rep.

In an exciting twist, a source close to Audrina Patridge, says it's possible that both of her reality shows will be intertwined. There's only one problem we see:

There would have to be material worth watching involving Audrina on either show, and there really hasn't been in multiple seasons ... if at all, honestly.

How many more times can we sit and watch her whine about Justin-Bobby and say "I'm done with you!" when we know it's not even true? Just saying.

In any case, she greased the machine over at the network for serious dough: "She is getting six figures per episode," an insider dished. "It's a lucrative deal."

While that sum sounds absolutely ludicrous, and without question it is, when Jersey Shore is MTV's next hottest program, Audrina has some serious leverage.

Falling ratings and lackluster recent seasons aside, MTV evidently felt the positives outweighed the negatives with The Hills and its NYC spinoff The City.

Both will return for new seasons next year!

The Hills, which just aired its fifth season finale Tuesday, was itself a spinoff of the popular Laguna Beach, and a must-see among the crucial 18-34 demo.

Ratings dive-bombed with the departure of Lauren Conrad and the introduction of less appealing characters and fairly vanilla stories this season, however.

The second half of Season Five began in September with just 2.1 million viewers, a sharp decline of around 50 percent from its previous season premieres.

Get ready for new seasons of Kristin, Whitney and cohorts!

Kristin Cavallari, Conrad's former rival on Laguna Beach, took Lauren's place as the series' main protagonist, earning some praise but also much criticism.

Meanwhile, The City, starring Hills alumna Whitney Port, also got the green light for a third season after its similarly mediocre episode a few nights ago.

In its first season, it focused on Whitney, both personally and professionally. This season it tried to be a "workplace drama." Reviews are still mixed.

Can The Hills recapture the drama-crazed, bitchy, guiltily addictive magic of seasons past? Can The City decide what it wants to be?

That remains to be seen, but they'll get a shot!

On the season finale of The Hills, Spencer Pratt finally learned if Heidi is knocked up, while Justin refused to let Kristin Cavallari break things off without a fight.

As always, The Hollywood Gossip staff looks back at the major developments on Tuesday's episode of The Hills, awarding and deducting points as we see fit ...

Minus 2 for the obligatory, scripted Stacie-Kristin opening discussion.

Spencer on Heidi's tactics: "That's straight hijacking sperm!" Plus 3.

Audrina Patridge feels that she has to see Justin - one last time - for closure. Minus 12 because we've heard that many times before, spanning two seasons.

Kristin tells Justin-Bobby she doesn't want a boyfriend right now. That or she just doesn't want one who mumbles constantly and bathes infrequently. Plus 4.

Spencer: "Am I a grown up, Enzo?" Enzo: "I dunno!" Plus 3.

Brody's friend Taylor, a.k.a. Sleazy T, is engaged! To Abbey Wilson, Joe Francis' ex and the girl behind his fight with Jayde Nicole! Plus 11 for the randomness.

Kristin and Justin-Bobby are, like, a couple now. Yes, really.

Heidi has officially morphed into a skanky Barbie doll. Minus 4.

Wow, Jayde Nicole isn't crazy or clingy at all. Wow. Brody did the right thing and decided to end things, at least... if he goes through with it. Plus only 2 for now.

Kristin admits that maybe her bitchiness / bad-girl attitude is just a facade that stems from attachment issues after her parents' divorce. How ... honest! Plus 7.

Justin to Audrina: "Maybe I didn't commit because you weren't the one." Minus 6, but Plus 9 for her rebuttal that he's going to die alone. Harsh but necessary.

Plus 15 for Heidi Montag drawing out her answer, a la Season 2, when Spencer asks if she's preggers: "I was hoping ... it's my dream ... but ... I'm not." Way to make him squirm a little, Heidi. But Minus 10 because WE KNOW.

Apparently inspired by Audrina telling him off, Justin-Bobby bears his soul and says he's not ready to let Kristin go ... and she's all for it! Minus only 3, because while they totally gross us out, we can't say we saw it coming - for once.

TOTAL: +15! SEASON TOTAL: +105! Week in and week out, The Hills remains a fun guilty pleasure, and the season finale was no exception. But without Lauren Conrad, things aren't the same. Speidi can't carry it alone, and we're indifferent on Kristin.

Will the show be back for another season? Should it be back? What was your favorite part of last night's finale - and the season overall? Comment and tell us!

The fifth season of The Hills comes to an end tonight, and Spencer Pratt is stressing that Heidi Montag may be knocked up despite his wishes and efforts.

In a basketball-court chat with Brody Jenner about her sneaky attempts to get pregnant - with or without his consent - Spencer laments his predicament.

"There's a chance that I'm about to be Pratt Daddy for real," he tells Jenner, noting that Heidi's gone rogue and he found a pregnancy test in the trash.

After telling Brody about their "conversation," Spencer Pratt is informed by his old friend that it's not really a conversation if no one listens. How true.

Spencer and Brody: BFFs 4 life (as long as LC's not around).

Still, Spencer continues, saying that Heidi's tactics amount to "like a sperm kidnapping." Adds a smiling Jenner: "That's scary, man." Oh yes. It certainly is.

It might be more compelling if there were a chance in hell she was actually pregnant, but somehow we doubt the show will stun us with that revelation.

Also tonight, we will see how the fake love pentagon between Brody, Justin-Bobby, Kristin Cavallari, Jayde Nicole and Audrina Patridge is resolved. Woo.

Follow the jump for a clip from The Hills finale ...

Tuesday night on The Hills, Spencer Pratt was convinced Heidi Montag might be preggers, while Kristin Cavallari and BFF Stacie took off for a girls weekend.

As always, The Hollywood Gossip staff looks back at the major developments on Tuesday's episode of The Hills, awarding and deducting points as we see fit ...

En route to Vegas, Stacie opines that her chances of hooking up are 90% while Kristin's are 65%. So she deems herself 25% more skanky? We'll buy it. Plus 3.

Forget Mr. Right, the girls say as they pre-party for their big night out in Sin City. Bring on Mr. Right Now! Groan. Minus 4. So creative and not at all scripted.

Scruffy Spencer Pratt pal Charlie is apparently the all-knowing oracle of baby-making schemes perpetrated by girls. Plus 2, because you gotta wonder why.

Bored with girls night out after like 15 minutes, Kristin Cavallari leaves a voicemail for a mystery man. Gee, we wonder who. Minus 3 for the fake suspense.

Spencer takes Heidi out for sushi to "test" her. She passes on wine, and on raw fish, then nonchalantly brings up neighbor Enzo to complete the trifecta. Plus 5.

Audrina Patridge has dinner with Justin-Bobby bud Derek and says she's DONE! She's SO over him! For GOOD! Until next week's promos, that is. Pathetic. Minus 14.

Kristin, Justin and Stacie hit a strip club, where the latter complains about being a third wheel. Minus only 1, though, because Kristin wants to "learn how to work a pole."

Plus 17 for the obligatory Kristin-Stacie kissing scene. These two girls are such attention whores, it's really sad in a way. But hey, at least they're good at it.

Charlie: "Dude, you gotta be you." Spencer: "Me is not a baby." LOL. Plus 12.

Justin: [in bed the next day] "How you feelin'?" Kristin: "Pretty bad, but not as bad as I should." Justin: "That's 'cause I'm here." Massive eye roll. Minus 8.

TOTAL: +12! SEASON TOTAL: +90! Kristin and Stacie may be painful at times, but you've gotta give them credit for stirring up trouble, which is their sole reason for existing. We love the Spencer-Charlie heart-to-hearts, too.

Spencer Pratt finds a pregnancy test in the trash on The Hills tonight.

This can only mean one thing: MTV told him to say he found it there and pretend to profess his deep concern that Heidi Montag might be pregnant.

He confides in pal Charlie that he took her to Hollywood hot spot Katsuya "for a little alcohol test." He says she didn't even have a sip! Case closed!

"What if she's already pregnant?" a worried Spencer Pratt asks Charlie, stating that if she is, their marriage is "game over." Mmm hmm. Sure it is.

Spencer loves to show Heidi his o-face. This, however, is his nooooo-face!

This season, Heidi Montag has been even more vocal about her desire to have kids than she is when Spencer's giving her 20-30 orgasms a day.

Much as Spencer likes tapping that mostly-plastic booty, he's been adamant about not having kids. He even pretended to consider a vasectomy.

Last week on The Hills, Heidi planned retaliation on him for his little doctor visit, telling Audrina Patridge she planned on pulling the goalie soon.

If any of this were real, it would make for compelling television. But alas. Check out a clip of Spencer freaking on tonight's episode post-jump:

On The Hills this week, Heidi worried about how Spencer doesn't want kids, while tension escalated between Jayde Nicole and Kristin Cavallari over Brody Jenner.

As always, The Hollywood Gossip editors look back at the major developments on Tuesday's episode of The Hills, awarding and deducting points as we see fit ...

Brody on Kristin's plan to meet Jayde Nicole: "You're out of your mind! She just tried to kill you." Plus 5, because that's literally true, but he says it so nonchalantly.

Heidi Montag's therapist tries to tell her that pulling the goalie on Spencer Pratt isn't the most sound idea. Minus 4 because Heidi needed a therapist to tell her this.

Brody's bro Taylor tells him he's more fun when he's around Kristin than he is around Jayde. Plus 3, because the lack of violent altercations does go a long way.

As if Kristin's actions weren't 100 percent scripted, Jayde rips her for being "in town for a month" and says she needs to "go back where she came from." Minus 6.

Kristin to Jayde: "Well, then you might want to keep his leash a little tighter, Jayde." Seconds later: "You're, like, such a bitch, Jayde." Burn and burn! Plus 7.

Man, Jayde is really unstable. So much so that Brody Jenner says he'll "jump off a building" if he has to argue with her one more time. Good sign. Minus 2.

Despite the fact that she appears more bipolar by the second, Brody decides he wants to stay with Jayde! Plus 6 for something we actually didn't see coming.

Kristin laments that she's always caught in the middle - first Audrina and Justin, now Brody and Jayde, when she's doing it all on freaking purpose! Minus 9.

Even Justin-Bobby's voicemail is garbled and undecipherable. Plus 2.

Umm, was that an actual normal dinner conversation and married couple moment from Speidi? Even, because we're too shocked to rate it one way or the other.

TOTAL: +1! SEASON TOTAL: +78! Mixed reviews this week, because the Speidi plot is getting old, and a meddling Kristin Cavallari can't expect us to care about her hurt feelings, even if Jayde is certifiably insane. Speaking of ...

Whose side are you on?

This is what terrorist interrogation materials dreams are made of.

Fame-lovers Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are apparently feeling starved of attention because they are shopping around a reality show of their own.

The gruesome twosome is angling to branch out from the MTV hit, The Hills, to give viewers even more insight into their absurdly over-exposed lives.

”You don’t get to see our everyday lives and what we do,” says Heidi.

We're not sure we do. Our Heidi Montag nude tolerance is high, but not that high. Then again, maybe he's afraid to put out for his baby-crazy wife.

Just what television needs. MORE Heidi and Spencer Pratt.

Currently promoting their new book, How to be Famous, the couple want their spin-off to include everything - everything - that happens to them.

But don’t get your hopes up, readers at home. In this scenario, they won’t be leaving The Hills, instead they would try to appear on both shows.

Talk about a dream scenario if ever there were one.

One thing we actually would love to see? Them sitting around and deciding how to bash Al Roker on Twitter. Do they plan everything for attention?

Kristin Cavallari and Jayde Nicole got into a screaming - and shoving - match on last week's episode of The Hills, but it looks like that was just the beginning.

Tonight, the two sit down to discuss their conflict, which centers on Brody Jenner, Kristin's ex and Jayde's ... possible ex. Their status is a little bit unclear.

If Brody and Jayde aren't broken up, they're at least "taking a break," and Brody's definitely hanging out with Kristin. As friends? As possibly more? Well ...

“You don’t think that in the entire city of Hollywood you could find other guys other than Justin and Brody?” Jayde Nicole pointedly asks Kristin Cavallari.

Kristin takes issue with the reference to Justin-Bobby (who dated Audrina Patridge), replying, “I was never friends with Audrina. I don’t owe her anything.”

Kristin. Jayde. Cat fight. It's on. [Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

The not-at-all-scripted scene from the episode has been leaked online, giving us a sneak peek at what's to come as the women of Brody Jenner square off.

The conversation goes something like this.

Jayde: “Hey, I don’t like Audrina either.”
Kristin: “So why are you even bringing Justin into this equation?”
Jayde: “Because it seems like a pattern with you. Everything was totally fine before you came here, so you need to go back to wherever it is that you came from.”
Kristin: “You are such a bitch, Jayde. I have to tell you, like, you’re a bitch.”

That about sums it up. Whose side are you on?