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On last night's episode of The Hills, the crew returned from vacation and the aftershocks from Brody and Audrina’s Hawaiian hookup were felt throughout SoCal.

In short, Jayde Nicole went ballistic, and may be slightly insane.

Lauren Conrad warned Audrina Patridge early on that Brody Jenner admitted his mistake to his girlfriend, and that a jealous Jayde was far from pleased.

When Jayde found out Audrina was en route to Frankie's Delgado's barbecue, she grew pissed and her Playmate friends started talk of a girl fight.

Brody told her to relax and apologized again, and Frankie tried to cover for him, saying they just fell asleep, but Jayde wasn't buying it - and Audrina's apparent blowing of a kiss in Brody's direction just made things worse.

That led to the first of two Jayde Nicole-Audrina Patridge showdowns.

Audrina claimed she “would never go there” and they just "stayed up talking" that night. But Jayde snapped, “If you sleep in my boyfriend’s bed, something happened,” and proceeded to pound Jägermeister straight from the bottle.

The following night, things got even worse when Stephanie and Audrina hit up the hot club MyHouse even though they knew Jayde would be there with Brody.

Brody told his drunk girlfriend he wouldn’t tell Audrina to leave because they’re friends. “Not anymore,” replied the jealous, slurring Jayde Nicole. Oh, snap.

The Playboy bunny then told her posse of girlfriends - “playmates who bring the drama” - that Brody was just asking for them to get riled up. They obliged.

Jayde's pal Jo got all up in Audrina’s grill. Frankie tried to step in, but Jayde was fuming, calling her names, downing more Jäger and threatening to punch her.

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Despite recent reports claiming she is looking to return to The Hills next season after all, Lauren Conrad's rep says the beauty is sticking to her guns.

Having her life filmed by MTV since high school, Conrad had long sought more privacy and has said that The Hills' current season will be her last.

Conrad, Lauren K.

But the New York Post reported on Saturday that LC is working out a new contract to re-appear on the reality show after assessing the dire economy.

"She kind of realized, especially in this economy, there's not much else out there for her," says the Post, noting that the change of heart may have been prompted by the return of Kristin Cavallari. "Our source clucked, 'She's baaaack!'"

But her rep says that there's no such plan: "She is focusing on both clothing lines and her books. She has no plans to return to The Hills at this time."

Last week, the network announced the show will return in the fall with new episodes sans Lauren Conrad, who has starred on and narrated the show since its debut.

"Lauren has moved on, but Heidi, Audrina, Spencer, Brody, Stephanie, Justin Bobby and Lo will be back as the drama continues with fresh faces, new stories and shocking surprises," read MTV's press release about The Hills' return.

The show returns with a new episode tonight at 10 p.m. The season finale, which features the whole cast at Spencer and Heidi's wedding, is May 31.

Will you watch The Hills without Lauren Conrad?

 

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MTV has announced that The Hills will return in the fall with more episodes of the current fifth season, even as Lauren Conrad bows out of reality TV.

"Lauren has moved on, but Heidi, Audrina, Spencer, Brody, Stephanie, Justin-Bobby and Lo will all be back as the drama continues with fresh faces, new stories and shocking surprises," the network said in a press release.

"Viewers will find out that life in Los Angeles only gets more complicated as friendships, relationships and loyalties are tested like never before."

Another "fresh face" to look for in the fall? Kristin Cavallari, who made a rare appearance at Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's wedding this past weekend, and even managed to catch the bride's bouquet for MTV cameras.

She's in talks to guest star in six upcoming episodes of The Hills next fall. The Spring episodes conclude May 31 with the airing of the Speidi nuptials.

MEMBA HER? Kristin Cavallari comes to The Hills as Lauren Conrad retires.

Kristin and Lauren co-starred on Laguna Beach. After the second of two hit seasons, Kristin left town, and the show to attend Loyola in Los Angeles.

A few months later, The Hills debuted and Lauren became a huge star.

Now she's come full circle - but what will Kristin Cavallari actually do on The Hills? The show will play up some drama relating to her ex, Brody Jenner, who she dated from 2004-2006, according to reports. LC dated him after that.

Interestingly, K-Cavs took over the narrating duties from Conrad once before, during their Laguna Beach days after LC moved on (for college).

Also interestingly, Brody Jenner isn't the only romantic interest they've shared. The two battled for Stephen Colletti throughout high school.

Are you excited Kristin Cavallari is coming to The Hills? Vote in our poll below (and click to enlarge pics if it helps make up your mind):

 

Kristin Cavallari: Short Hair

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When Lauren Conrad, Audrina Patridge, Stephanie Pratt and Lo Bosworth came up with the idea to "crash" (somehow they knew precisely where to stay) Brody and the guys' bros-only weekend in Hawaii, we knew some drama was gonna go down.

But not like this.

Spencer Pratt at LAX

At first, Brody Jenner seemed upset, to see them, but all was forgiven at the mention of shots. And why shouldn't it be. It's Hawaii, and hey, there were now cute girls in bikinis along with surfing and copious quantities of alcohol. Holla!

Talk turned to Audrina Patridge and her "hate-love relationship" with that douche Justin-Bobby. She said she's not waiting for him to come around.

Ever the gentleman Brody noted and complemented his friend on her "most revealing one-piece." Stephanie clarified again that Audzo is single.

At this point, you know where this is headed.

BEER: Helping guys make bad decisions since 1927!

Later, Frankie Delgado, Doug Reinhardt and some dude who calls himself Sleazy T teased Brody about Audrina, who told the girls that she's crushin' on Brody.

Brody Jenner assured the guys that Audzo and he are just friends and that he was thinking about his girlfriend, Jayde Nicole, who was not present of course.

During some late-night alone time, he sought to quell the sexual tension, until ...

"I don't want it to be awkward," he said. "You are sweet and a good friend, but if we decide one night late with nobody around, well, feelings are feelings."

Audrina Patridge didn't emerge until morning.

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She was in full effect on last night's episode of The Hills (which we will recap for you shortly), but what's up with Audrina Partridge and her new show?

Asked that very question at the Paley Fest event for The Hills last week, Audzo said "I get so many emails and questions [from fans who] want to know about pictures that they see of me out, and [they ask] 'Why didn't you film that?'"

"All they really see is my relationship with the girls and with [Justin-Bobby]. So this is me really opening up my personal, personal life and really letting the cameras in to exploit everything. Everybody will get to see everything."

"I'm excited about it. As soon as we're done with The Hills, I'll go right into it."

Mark Burnett (The Apprentice, Survivor) will head Audrina's new reality show.

Pretty Patridge

While grateful for The Hills for giving her career such a huge boost, Audrina Patridge is excited to go her own way. Do you think an Audrina reality show will be a hit?

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When Lauren Conrad hit the Paley Fest red carpet with cast mates Brody Jenner, Audrina Patridge, Whitney Port, Lo Bosworth and Stephanie Pratt (sadly, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were no-shows), a wide range of Hills gossip followed.

Spencer's sister told the crowd that the couple, whose weekend wedding is being filmed as the show's season finale, were in the "studio, making hit music."

Stephanie also dished on being a Speidi bridesmaid:

"I've never been to a wedding before. I know that [Holly Montag] is in it. I'm hoping that she is Maid of Honor because I will screw everything up."

Of the gruesome twosome's pre-wedding festivities, Stephanie Pratt said, "I don't think Spencer is allowed to have a bachelor party. Holly and I are throwing around the idea of a bridal shower before. I just hope no one objects [at the wedding]."

The conversation soon turned to - you guessed it! - the Lauren Conrad sex tape rumors that infamously dominated a full season of the reality show.

When asked if she still believes that it was Spencer Pratt who spread the rumor that she and Jason Wahler made a sex tape, Lauren said, "We have it on tape that he [Spencer] takes responsibility for it. Sorry. Spoiler alert!"

Wow, now that's a Hills spoiler we never saw coming! Follow the jump for loads more spoilers and pictures of the cast at Paley fest ...

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It was out with the old, in with the new (and insane) on The Hills as Speidi started couples’ counseling, Stephanie Pratt started her new job with Lauren Conrad, and Audrina Patridge started looking for a new man - with unexpected results.

We begin at the workplace ...

Stephanie started at People’s Revolution and in no time, head honcho Kelly Cutrone berated her for leaving a drink on a desk and eating crackers over clothes.

The next day, she ignored a ringing phone, hung up on someone, put off some key tasks, didn’t check in the right clothes and doodled on a sheet of paper.

A clearly-pissed Lauren Conrad warned her friend, who she helped land the posh fashion-house gig with no experience whatsoever, to focus or she’d be fired.

Then, on the romance front ...

On “boy lookout” since breaking it off with that loser Justin-Bobby, Audrina Patridge pondered her next move. LC suggested that there was no time like the present.

With multiple dudes, if that's what it takes to move on.

Everyone got in on the action on last night's The Hills.

The girl posse, including Lo and Stephanie, met up for a night out with Frankie Delgado and Brody Jenner, who partook in crazy PDA with girlfriend Jayde Nicole.

Certainly nothing new for those two.

Justin-Bobby happened to be there too, natch, but ignored Audrina’s attempts to get his attention, then snapped at her a bit later on. What an absolute tool.

Comforting her, Brody told Audzo she needs to have more fun and called her a beautiful girl. Jealous, Jayde Nicole responded by trying to inhale Brody's face.

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Looks like - spoiler alert! - Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are getting ready to butt heads it out once again on tonight's all-new episode of The Hills.

In the preview clip below, the buttheads hit up a couples therapist after Montag learns her smarmy man has been flirting hard core with a bartender.

Encouraged by the therapist, who is probably not even licensed, to divulge his feelings, a smiling Pratt can only muster, "I feel like I'm in a nightmare."

Heidi should just be happy he wasn't Twittering the whole time.

Unconvinced that he's taking this oh-so-authentic therapy session seriously, his plastic princess retorts, "How did you just even say that to me?"

She then tells him that he's been "emotionally checked out - in some kind of weird, stripper hotel - for a while." We have no idea what that means.

Their therapist then begs the question of Heidi Montag, regarding Spencer Pratt: "If you feel like he's checked out, what are you doing with him?"

Making money, hand over fist, would be the short answer. Check out the clip from tonight's episode of the "reality" show you love to hate ...

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Lauren Conrad may be leaving The Hills, but as sad as that will be, her best friend forever Lo Bosworth does think the show can go on without her.

In fact, Lo thinks Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, or collectively Speidi, could probably replace the leading lady as the "reality" series' main act.

"They get great press on their own, so there's always the possibility that the show can do really well with them as main parts," Lo Bosworth told E! Online at the IS vodka-sponsored opening of new Hollywood nightspot Halo.

Lo has officially joined Team Speidi! Sort of.

Lo thinks, however, that the current season five, which debuted last Monday on MTV, may not end ALL Lauren Conrad appearances on The Hills.

"[Lauren] hasn't filmed in weeks and she's really excited about that," Lo said. "I think she'll come back for special occasions and stuff."

"But we just don't know how many episodes she'll return for or if there will be another season. It's really just all up in the air," she added.

In truth, Speidi may already be the headlining act on The Hills. His laying the smack down on Cameron was the highlight of the season premiere, and as we reported, a Spencer and Heidi wedding is supposedly planned for the finale.

Oh, and Spencer already Twittered his approval of Lo's comments, in case you were wondering. He also posted a link to a teaser for Heidi's new music video:

Awesome ... easily a 9.5 out of 10 on the unintentional comedy scale. If you're a real glutton for punishment, follow the jump to hear the full "song" ...

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Last night's season premiere of The Hills kicked off with a bang - sort of literally in the case of Stephanie Pratt's ex-boyfriend, who pushed Spencer too far.

The Hollywood Gossip's recap will consist of awarding and deducting points as we see fit. Season Five began at Lauren Conrad's birthday party on a yacht, and Stephanie convincing Heidi she could come too, despite not being invited and stuff.

Heidi Montag with No Makeup!

On to the rankings! Chime in with your own!

Audrina didn’t invite Justin-Bobby or Heidi to a surprise party for Lauren Conrad because she wanted to avoid drama. Plus 4 for being the rare voice of reason!

Minus 5 for Heidi being the worst liar ever and pathetically non-confrontational when telling Spencer her plans. But Plus 2 for his calling LC the "queen beeyotch" and describing his guys' night with just a techno beat - "nnts nnts nnts."

Minus 10 for instigator Stephanie Pratt's dishonesty and uselessness. Heidi did have reservations about coming, yet Steph lies and says it was all her idea. Weak sauce.

Spencer flirts with bartender Stacie at The Dime. He gets drunk and acts like a major tool, but this is completely in character and he does not care. Plus 6.

Stephanie's ex, Cameron, is present to witness Spencer's banter with Stacie, and texts Stephanie, who warns Heidi. We don't care if it's Spencer Pratt - what a d!ck move and blatant violation of the bro code, How I Met Your Mother style. Minus 7.

At the party, LC talked to Heidi, who rationalized that fighting is what boys do. Plus 4, because that is kind of totally true, and Plus 2 more for Lauren calling Spencer an a$$hole to her face, after which Heidi apologized for causing drama.

Spencer decided he was gonna go all Chris Brown on Cameron, and made good on that boast. Quite uncalled for, but Plus 5, because he landed like six good punches before getting thrown out, which is impressive, and the dude sort of had it coming.

Lauren to Heidi: “You were my best friend but you started dating this person who did really mean things to me. I don’t like him but I still love you.” Sniff. Plus 3.

Minus 2 for Stacie throwing Spencer under the bus when Heidi came around, then doing the same with the circumstances reversed! Shrewd, but a bit duplicitous.

Side note: Anyone know who makes the lipstick LC was wearing? We weren't huge fans of the color, but it held up throughout the weekly deluge of tears. Plus 5.

Heidi's mom, Darlene, really hates Spencer Pratt - and offers to set Heidi up with a high school ex named Colby! A noble thought, but Minus 4, because no way Colby even recognizes the silicone, duck-lipped Barbie doll Heidi has become.

Obligatory Brody Jenner sightings and dueling heart-to-hearts! Plus 4.

Lauren to Steph: “I think it was inappropriate for her to be there and if you were really my friend you would have been like, ‘Hey don’t go.’ You have to stop pushing [her] on me. It’s not fair.” A tough overdramatic, LC, but kind of true. Even.

TOTAL: +7! Not a bad season premiere for The Hills. Comment away!

The Hills Quotes

Brody's girlfriend is pretty. With very large breasts.

Lauren Bosworth [on Cora Skinner]

Someone with a great sense of humor is the most important thing, and someone who really supports me in everything I do... I don’t ever want to make an excuse for trying to work hard and having my own life. I love a guy that supports that and loves that.

Lauren Conrad [on men]
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