The Bachelorette is back in full swing, and with it, all the scripted drama, misleading promos and man tears we've come to expect over the years.
It doesn't get any better than this ... for us. Emily might beg to differ.
After a season premiere that featured memorable first impressions - some good, some not so good - the remaining men took another shot tonight.
Follow this link for a rundown of The Bachelorette spoilers we know so far, including the (alleged) final three. Then read on for THG's +/- Bachelorette recap!
In case we weren't aware or forgot, this is being filmed in Charlotte so Emily can be near her daughter. The news and locals hope this will remind people that Charlotte exists.
Mr. Hostman (ha, get it? Hostman? Postman? Should I minus 5 myself for that?) Chris has letters for some guys to let them know they'll be going on dates with Emily.
Some of the other guys will have to stay behind. Hostman reminds them that if they get alone time with Emily, they have to take advantage of it.
Kalon says he's upset to see the other guys, particularly Ryan, get to spend time with Emily, the girl he wants to be with. Minus 5. Jealousy's not flattering on anyone. And your jealousy is faked for the camera, Kalon, so that makes it even more unflattering.
Kalon does, however, speak the truth when he says this is like the frat house from Hell. To show us just how frat house this is, we're treated to gratuitous shirtless guys! Plus 10!
Emily takes Ryan on the first date. Instead of something romantic or daredevil-ish, Emily's idea of a date is to rake Ryan home with her. So that he can bring in the groceries. Plus 5. This is manpower at its finest, Emily!