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Life is stressful for the Teen Mom cast. They need calming influences.

Barney is not getting it done, let's just put that out there right now.

Granted, Farrah Abraham was going through some serious stuff and might have found the purple dinosaur particularly annoying at that moment, but the girl was clearly looking for more from her mother as well.

Let's break down that and the rest of last night's episode, THG style!

Farrah and Sophia Photo

As Farrah was en route to court to confront Sophia's paternal grandmother, her mom tried to relay a cute story about Barney. It didn't go well. Minus 5.

"You and your damn Barney talk, Mom," Farrah says, frazzled. "Why do I want to talk about a Barney? That doesn't calm me down." Indeed. Plus 3.

The case was dismissed! Plus 10 for Farrah, but Minus 6 for MTV, which now has to cook up another quasi-fake narrative for young Ms. Abraham.

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Teen Mom star Maci Bookout's son, Bentley, is growing up fast.

Might the two-year-old get a big brother or sister before long?

Battle For the Twins!

Hey, she had a kid with a deadbeat in Ryan Edwards. Now Bookout has a boyfriend of 16 months - with a job! - in Kyle King. He's already provided her great help in caring for Bentley, which makes you wonder ...

Is little Bentley getting a sibling anytime soon?

"Some days, I'm like 'Let's get married tomorrow and have another baby!' and some days I'm realistic," Bookout says in tonight's Teen Mom.

"I don't want to rush into things just because I feel like I have to have to have a family for Bentley. I don't want to rush it if I don't have to."

Hinting that she'd love to have a girl someday, Maci Bookout says she frequently feels left out when her son and Kyle King do "guy things."

"I think they like each other more than they like me," she says. "Bentley's like, 'Mama, we're watching dirt bikes!' I feel left out sometimes!"

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Since we'd gone awhile without hearing from Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans - other than reports of her trip to rehab, which supposedly went well, and a hospitalization caused by a cyst - many people assumed she was improving.

Wishful thinking, it turned out.

The 19-year-old is in serious trouble after she violated probation and tested positive for THC, a substance found in marijuana, and admitted using the drug.

On top of the drug test, reports claim that Evans - on probation for a prior drug arrest, and dealing with the legal consequences of annihilating Britany Truett (see above) - is behind on her post-rehab care and court payments.

Sounds so familiar. Like Lindsay Lohan, nobody ever set limits for her and she's never truly held accountable for her actions. Comes from upbringing and the failure of the court system to lay the proverbial smack down.

Between physical violence, drugs, stealing, bad relationships (and teen pregnancy), Jenelle is on a destructive path for society and herself.

A lengthy stint in jail would drive this home. Here's hoping she gets it.

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Teen Mom lovers/parents/step-siblings Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra have been evicted from their apartment in Marine City, Michigan.

The reason? Not paying rent. That'll do it.

The 19-year-olds, who gave their daughter Carly up for adoption, signed the lease last August. The big move was even featured on Teen Mom.

Catelynn and Tyler

Ah, the wonderment of their own place ... it didn't last long.

But, according to court documents, they stopped paying rent in December, so their landlord gave them an eviction notice and took them to court.

It didn't turn out well for the pair. Catelynn and Tyler forfeited their $450 security deposit, paid an additional $450 in back rent and moved out.

No word on where Catelynn and Tyler plan to live next. Just hope they don't decide to bring on Jenelle Evans as a roommate. Talk about a mess!

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Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans has reportedly violated the terms of her probation, and it doesn't look good for the troubled North Carolina native at all.

In a July 15, 2011 violation report, the 19-year-old mother:

  • Tested positive for THC (found in marijuana)
  • Is behind on court fee payments
  • Has not attended an aftercare plan that was required upon her release from rehab. He was 30 days sober too, supposedly.
Jenelle Evans Mugshot

"The defendant tested positive for THC on 7/13/2011 and admitting using same," the report reads. "The defendant was discharged from inpatient treatment on 6/7/2011; recommended aftercare / discharge plan was not followed."

"Since the defendant's discharge from inpatient treatment she has failed to follow up with any care," the report goes on, noting that Evans, who was recently arrested for PUNISHING Britany Truett, also owes $320 in fees.

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On this week's Teen Mom, we got a behind-the-scenes look at the life of Amber Portwood, which spiraled out of control and landed her in rehab this summer.

Well, she's still there, and for the first time since entering Seasons rehab facility in Malibu, Calif., the troubled star ventured out with a staffer the other day.

“They stopped at a Malibu Ralphs market and Starbucks,” a source says. “She looked happy, though her face is rather bloated, probably from the detox.”

Troubled Amber Portwood

Whatever the reasons for her puffiness, Amber Portwood is not happy. In fact, “She’s terrified of getting heavy again,” an insider says of the star.

“She’d lost a lot of weight through diet pills and her busy social life, but now she’s healthy and staying committed to staying substance free."

"Instead of partying she’s watching DVDs in her room. She wants to be healthy and get custody of her daughter, Leah, back," adds the source.

"But getting big again is a genuine fear.”

Body image and self-esteem issues can be serious. At least, if nothing else, she'll look tiny if Gary Shirley is in the same room as her. Just saying.

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This week's episode of Teen Mom taught us to expect the unexpected.

Ryan Edwards didn't give us much to criticize at all, while Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra were thrust into the role of taking care of their parent.

Farrah Abraham and Amber Portwood, meanwhile, were doing battle to protect their daughters from bad influences - and at times from themselves.

How'd it score in our system? Let's break down last night, THG style!

Tyler and Butch

Butch is out of prison and ready to get his "freak on." Just what you want to hear if you're the teenage son. Minus 7, but Plus 2 for that unreal mullet.

By committing battery against wife April, Butch has a restraining order against him. That's not about to stop April from picking him up from jail. Minus 3.

Plus 9 for Tyler's maturity, intervening when the situation called for it, and enduring Butch's taunts about Carly's adoption. And the stench. Had to be bad.

Also showing maturity last night? Ryan Edwards. Plus 8, because you could just sense that a nasty exchange with Kyle King was coming. Not the case.

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Could Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham be branching out into acting?

The 20-year-old single mom and model auditioned for a part in ABC's new Charlie's Angels reboot, and - at least according to her Twitter - she got it!

"YAY!!! I MET GREAT people at a casting. & im going to be in the New Charlie Angels movie! Good luck to the other amazing Casties :)," she wrote.

Presumably she means TV show and not movie, but good for her!

Farrah Abraham and Daughter Sophia

The ABC series stars Minka Kelly, Annie Ilonzeh and Rachael Taylor. An open casting call was held Sunday near Abraham's Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., home.

The Miami Herald reports 1,000 locals turned out to the casting call for the revival of the hit '70s series, set to premiere on Thursday, September 22.

The call was to fill paid extras and minor parts, not main character roles. Still, it's nice to see Farrah's new C-cups paying dividends for her already.

ABC confirms Abraham applied, but declined further comment. No word if Amber Portwood has applied for Extreme Makeover: Behavioral Edition.

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With their heartbreaking decision to give baby Carly up for adoption, Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra became the exception to the Teen Mom rule.

Also unique to the show? Them staying together through thick and thin.

Catelynn credits good communication for their long-lasting relationship. Of course, the step-siblings consider themselves soulmates, too. That helps.

Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra

Despite the statistics against them remaining together after being teen parents, Catelynn and Tyler seem have a relatively normal, stable relationship.

Maybe Gary Shirley and Amber Portwood should take some notes here.

"We’re just so open with each other and we tell each other how we feel. When Tyler and I get mad we don’t really fight, we sit down and talk about it and say how we feel, really communicating and listening to each other," Lowell says.

"It’s weird, but I always say I found my soulmate at such a young age.”

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On last night's Teen Mom, Farrah Abraham took her newly-paid-for breasts on a modeling gig in Colorado, making hard-earned money to support Sophia.

Meanwhile, Maci Bookout took the plunge and moved in with Kyle King, a relatively nice, stable individual who even has a job. So things are going well, right?

WRONG, according to In Touch, which claims Teen Mom RUINED their lives! Anorexia! Addiction! Abuse! Living on popcorn and cigarettes! Oh, the horror!

Teen Mom Stars: RUINED!

Besides the walking train wreck that is Amber Portwood, it's hard to see how MTV is ruining their lives. Seems to us like they were in tight spots already.

If anything, aren't they getting paid, and thus supporting their kids?

Maybe it sends the wrong message to viewers, but for these girls specifically, how has it been bad? Farrah and Maci seem to be making positive steps.

Sure, maybe they're "bribed" to be on the show. Sure, maybe getting a boob job wasn't a good idea. But it helps her model and support herself, right?

Call it what you want, they do this of their own free will. They still struggle, sure, but those struggles are documented in a realistic way most shows can't match.

It's hardly MTV's fault for showing it like it is.