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Troubled Teen Mom cast member Amber Portwood stated the obvious in a statement from jail in which she said she is not normal - and needs to grow up.

Two weeks after the Teen Mom finale, she issued remarks from prison to coincide with the eunion special that aired Tuesday night on MTV with Dr. Drew.

In it, she talked about how she "got lost" in drugs and alcohol.

Amber Portwood, now serving a five-year sentence, writes:

Amber Portwood in Jail

"Right now I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life. I guess I just got lost. I went to jail because I had an addiction to opiates."

"You live and you learn and that's what's real. "It was time for me to stop partying and realize that even though I'm 21, I'm not a normal 21-year-old."

"I'm a mother. I have to grow up quicker and start acting like a mother."

No arguments here, even though Portwood's voluntarily decision to serve out a five-year term in jail rather than comply with a court-ordered drug program is dubious.

After violating her probation stemming from a December 2011 arrest for drug possession, Amber's behind bars for a LONG time, but says it's for the best.

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For Amber Portwood, Maci Bookout, Catelynn Lowell and Farrah Abraham, this chapter of their cartoonishly animated book of MTV life is over.

The final episode of Teen Mom aired Tuesday night, marking the end of an era (error?) for the fab four who started it all on 16 & Pregnant.

Where did they leave things as the curtain bowed?

Let's find out in our final Teen Mom +/- recap!

Teen Mom Cast Photo

Farrah Abraham finished her first quarter of school! With straight A's! Plus 20.

She really missed Sophia, though, and made it clear she doesn't want to send her away like that anymore. She cried about this a lot, as Sophia makes her very emotional.

The little girl even noticed, calling her a "cry baby." Plus 10.

"Mommy you're a bad person." - Sophia. Plus 50.

Have you seen Farrah's "On My Own" music video? That's funnier and more revealing than anything a filler episode can really offer. Plus 50.

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Maci Bookout apparently needs a reality check.

Having agreed to have their own celebrations for son Bentley's birthday, and with him in a serious relationship with someone else, she must be totally over her baby daddy Ryan Edwards this time right? Mostly? Maybe? A little?

Let's find out in this week's recap!

Maci and Ryan

Mace decides to celebrate Bentley's b-day at Pump It Up ... and promptly urges the toddler to call Ryan and invite him to the shindig. Oye. Minus 10.

Bentley left a voicemail. When Ryan returned the call, Maci handed Bentley the phone and had him ask again. Girl reeks of desperation at this point.

Ryan couldn't go, and while he's far from Dad of the Year, we give him a pass here ... remember Maci Bookout crashing his family vacay? Plus 20.

Upon picking up Bentley, Ryan received an earful from Maci while his GF Dalis seethed beside him. Think Maci will learn from this? No? Minus 15.

Having been dumped last week, Farrah Abraham and her mom wash their hands of Daniel. "That's a bad sign," Debra says. No kidding. Plus 5.

SIDE NOTE: You have to watch Farrah Abraham's "On My Own" music video. It defies description. Don't quit your day job Farrah ... whatever it is.

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Troubled, oft-nude Teen Mom star Jenelle Evans is lashing out at her mother again and threatening to take her a$$ to court to get custody of her son ... seriously.

As fans know, Barbara Evans has custody of Jenelle's son Jace, 3.

Over the weekend, during the latest Jenelle Evans nude pic scandal, said claims that Babs refused to communicate with her about a surgery the little boy had.

She's also fed up about her mom limiting her time with Jace.

Jenelle Evans, Cop

“I'm so upset with my mom,” the reality star wrote on her website. “Everyone always claims I don't try hard enough with Jace ... you're wrong!"

"I just called her this morning 8 times before she actually answered and she said that Jace had a surgery yesterday and I can't spend time with him again until FRIDAY."

"Like what the f*ck?! He had a surgery and you couldn't even tell me so if something went wrong during the surgery I wouldn't be there?! Thanks a lot.”

Jenelle, who is also enraged over her naked pic leak by James Duffy (or someone else, who the heck knows), says her mom won't even return her calls.

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Farrah Abraham was essentially dropped like a bad habit after an epic failure of a trip to meet her boyfriend's family on Teen Mom last night.

Her performance was a virtual list of how NOT to act in that situation.

Farrah telling Daniel's dad's girlfriend, upon hearing she wanted kids, "You haven't had children yet? I don't think it's going to happen then."

When she said she's 51, Farrah said, "You're going to be a looone bird."

By the end of the night, Abraham was the lone bird flying back to Florida sans Dan, who "couldn't take it anymore." Hard to blame the guy.

Farrah Abraham Crying

Yeah, she gave Overly Attached Girlfriend a run for her crazy. The way Daniel flaked wasn't the classiest maneuver, but it's easy to see why he freaked.

Prior to this trip, Farrah's greatest relationship blunders included:

  • Talking about their future life together in Texas.
  • Saying she'd like to have three kids by the time she's 23.
  • Joking about picking out her "wedding dress" and "engagement ring" during a shopping excursion and issuing an ultimatum while paddle boating.
  • Recording possibly the worst song in human history. Okay, Farrah Abraham's "Finally Getting Up From Rock Bottom" came later. But still. Ouch.

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We almost feel like we owe Rebecca Black an apology.

After seeing her pawn her daughter off on her parents last night on Teen Mom, it's good to see Farrah Abraham is putting all her free time to good use.

She recently came out with her book, My Teenage Dream Ended, and now, having just wrapped her new album, has leaked a preview of the first song.

“I'm happy again, and this is my song for finding happiness,” Farrah Abraham tells In Touch of the track, titled “Finally Getting up From Rock Bottom.”

A nice sentiment, but from the opening lyrics - Dude (ahhh!) dude (ahhh!) - it's clear the song is beyond terrible / unintentionally hilarious. Listen:

With overproduced vocals, nonsensical lyrics and zero coherence, "Finally Getting Up From Rock Bottom" makes "Friday" look like Grammy material.

Farrah says the song is about going inside and really digging deep in order to find the strength to climb out of the hole she’d found herself in.

Explains the 21-year-old MTV reality star and mother of Sophia, “After almost wanting to kill myself, I found meaning and happiness within.”

We're certainly glad she was able to search within herself and slay some of her demons. Now she just needs to search for a better career.

What's your take on Farrah's new song ...

 

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The terrible twos can be tough to handle ... at least for those of us who can't just ship their kid off to grandma's for a few weeks and let her deal with it.

Such is the (tough) life for Farrah Abraham.

You could see that coming from the second she said she was going to school full time and far from Iowa. What led her to make this major life decision?

Find out in THG's Teen Mom recap!

Teen Mom Cast Photo

Sophia is just too much for Farrah. Minus 10. The little one will be better off at home with her grandparents, but the whole situation could be prevented.

Farrah is just too busy, studying mixology and horseback riding, barbecue and cattle ... oh wait, that's just to go to Texas with her boyfriend. Minus 10.

At least he's mom-approved this time. Plus 5.

Will Farrah and Daniel still be together when Sophia returns? Do you want them to be? You want her to be happy, but take her role as mom seriously.

Score it Even until further notice, we guess.

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Jenelle Evans, possibly the craziest MTV reality star of all time - not a small feat mind you - has certainly proven adept at dropping her pants.

Dropping Kieffer Delp, conversely, is something she hasn't mastered.

Once again, she is back with the deadbeat who's gotten physical with her more than once and supposedly leaked Jenelle Evans nude photos after she dumped him.

All water under the naked bridge now, though, apparently. They're totally gonna last this time. Speaking of naked pics, here's one Kieffer recently Tweeted!

  • Jenelle Evans Nude Photo
  • Jenelle Evans Tattoo

As unappealing as it is to see Kieffer clutching Jenelle's bare behind, it's good to see the violent, restraining order days are behind them ... for now.

Speaking of violence and restraining orders, Jenelle Evans is in the process of getting one against ex-fiance Gary Head, who she split with in July.

Kieffer allegedly spiraled into a rage upon seeing Gary (who Jenelle accuses of assault), chasing him around the parking lot at Jenelle's court date Monday.

A day in the life of Jenelle Evans. Poor Jace.

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Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham recently felt so depressed that she considered suicide, she admitted in an interview while promoting her new book.

"All I could think about was killing myself," she says, and she even mapped out some specifics. "I figured I would drown myself in the bathtub."

"That seemed like the easiest way to go."

Farrah Abraham Book

In My Teenage Dream Ended, the now-21-year-old single mother says her lowest point occurred two years after her daughter Sophia's birth.

Raising Sophia alone, coupled with the tragic death of her ex, Derek Underwood, in a car accident when she was pregnant, was too much to bear.

"We hadn't spoken in more than two months," Farrah says about her ex-boyfriend, "but crazily I had still hoped we had a future together."

Before she was diagnosed with clinical depression, Farrah Abraham says she coped with her issues via alcohol, cocaine and marijuana abuse.

Only after therapy and medication is she "back on track."

"I was being selfish," she says. "The most important thing is making sure that [Sophia's] well taken care of - how am I going to do that if I'm dead?"

A fair point. One that Amber Portwood, who's allegedly tried to take her own life as well, should consider as she serves out her prison sentence.

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Teen Mom star Maci Bookout broke up with Kyle King after two years of dating this winter, but sources report that their relationship is NOT over.

Bookout, 20, moved out of the home they shared with her son Bentley, 3, and into a bachelorette pad in Chattanooga, Tenn., with some friends.

Much as that would signal that she and Kyle were over for good, Maci, 20, is on the brink of reuniting with Kyle, 24, a source tells Us Weekly:

"They still hook up, and lately they've been inseparable."

Maci Bookout and Kyle King Photo

Why the change of heart? A wake-up call courtesy of the Teen Mom season premiere, when she watched a now year-old fight with King play out.

"It made her realize how crazy she'd been acting," says the insider.

The MTV reality star isn't opposed to a long-term relationship with King, but realizes that the key to a lasting bond is a bit of distance short-term.

"I think Kyle and I could make things work right now," she says. "But we'd rather figure ourselves out first and then try to make a life together."

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't think [Kyle was The One]," Maci Bookout says of her man. "But I'm only 20. There's no need to rush into anything."

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