Tabloid Covers

How do you raise the made-up celebrity gossip bar if you've already made Kate Middleton pregnant a dozen times before she actually was, and then it turns out she is?

Claim Jennifer Aniston is also pregnant, of course! In Touch Weekly, everybody!

FINALLY! The two most anticipated celebrity babies have been conceived!

Only one of them has actually had an egg fertilized, of course. For Kate, who is feeling better but still hospitalized with morning sickness, pregnancy is no joke.

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A close friend of Duchess Kate Middleton, Jessica Hay, has revealed that Kate and her hubby, Prince William, will soon announce that they are expecting a baby.

“They’re planning to make an official announcement in December,” Hay reveals.

“I have this on the highest authority," she says, totally convincing us, "and it’s not to be taken lightly. It’s going to be wonderful, happy news when it’s announced.”

Jessica previously told an Australian tabloid about the pregnant Kate Middleton.

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Is Kim Kardashian pregnant and alone?

This cover story alleges that Kim and Kanye West are "already planning a nursery for two" because Kardashian's dream of having twin girls is coming true.

Yes, folks, it's a PREGNANCY SHOCKER. At least it will be if anyone is buying what this magazine is selling ... though maybe they were onto something?

UPDATE: Kim Kardashian actually is pregnant, confirmed by her rep and Kanye himself on December 30. No word if she's actually carrying twins, however.

Congratulations to the happy couple!

In related news, is Kristen Stewart expecting? Is Jessica Simpson pregnant again? Yes and yes, according to two other publications ... they got 1/2 right.

Just seven months after giving birth to daughter Maxwell, Jessica Simpson is pregnant again.

Us Weekly broke the story this morning: OMG, she's currently expecting her second child.

"It definitely wasn't planned. But yes, Jessica is pregnant again," a family source reveals.

This will throw a wrench on Weight Watchers' Jessica Simpson weight loss campaign.

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Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are back together.

For Breaking Dawn Part 2 promotional purposes? Some believe so.

For parental purposes? One tabloid cover story claims so.

The latest issue of OK! Weekly hilariously claims that Robert and Kristen are officially a couple again and are also expecting a baby.

In fact, anonymous, totally NOT made up sources tell the magazine that the child will be raised in England and the stars are celebrating the news by constructing a "lavish nursery."

The only questions now remaining: What will Robsten names its child?

And does anyone out there actually believe this to be true?

The "is Kate Middleton pregnant" rumor mill continues to be set ablaze this month, with a new report saying she hopes to make THE ANNOUNCEMENT around Christmas!

According to Us Weekly, a source close to the royal couple says, “They’re excited at the prospect of becoming parents,” and confirms they’re “working on it.”

Not sure what this celebrity gossip mole means by that. Next time draw us a picture!

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Consider yourself warned, Jennifer Garner.

With Kristen Stewart rumored to appear in an upcoming movie (Focus) alongside Ben Affleck, the latest issue of In Touch Weekly wonders if the actress will wreck yet another marriage.

After all, she nearly did so with Rupert Sanders and Liberty Ross.

"This has all the makings of a disaster,” an insider says tells the tabloid of Stewart's possible casting. “Kristen’s a vixen and has been warned by her team not to screw up again. But things happen.”

It's true, people. Things do happen.

Fortunately, Garner can take solace: Stewart and Robert Pattinson are back together. So even when Kristen clearly hooks up with Affleck, it doesn't mean that union has to end!

News flash: Kate Middleton is not pregnant and/or alone.

Note the phrase "her biggest fear" in smaller-type on the magazine cover below. The Kate Middleton pregnancy rumor mill is in full swing, but this is just misleading.

According to Life & Style, she desperately wants Prince William to quit the Royal Air Force, and he has six weeks to choose between his career and his family!

If he already got Kate Middleton pregnant, this would carry some weight. But it's unlikely he has, so this is your typical tabloid cover story comprised of utter BS.

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OMG. Jessica Hay says Kate Middleton is pregnant. Everybody stop the presses!

Who is that and should we believe her? Jessica Hay is an a childhood acquaintance of Kate's, and she spilled the beans to Australian tabloid New Idea.

According to Jess and the mag, the Duchess is expecting! Like for real!

“They’re planning to make an announcement in December. William and Kate are focused on starting a family,” Hay says, corroborating Kate's recent (supposed) weight gain.

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Kourtney Kardashian may be many things: a talent-free reality star; an attention whore; a mother of two.

But the new In Touch Weekly claims to make it clear: this large-breasted brunette is "no dummy."

With rumors abounding that Kourtney will actually marry Scott Disick, the tabloid reports there's one minor little hold-up: a prenuptial agreement.

“If anyone screws up in this marriage, it will be Scott, not Kourtney,” alleges an insider. “She’s no dummy.  She’s protecting her and her children’s futures.”

There's reportedly $20 million at stake, with a vacation to Paris between the couple ending in "disaster" recently because Disick does not want to give in to his fiancee's demands.

Can you blame the guy? He just wants to kick back and drink some Heineken, people!