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Congratulations are in order for Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, as they walked down the aisle this weekend and... wait, WHAT?!?

OK! Weekly has taken its misleading headlines to a new level, as the latest edition of this desperate tabloid screams that Kim "Weds," appears to depict in her a wedding dress and advertises "Complete Coverage" of an event that hasn't taken place yet.

What makes this a "Special Collector's Issue?" The gall editors possess to actually have printed it...

Kim Kardashian Kollector's Issue

Kim Kardashian actually gets married this Saturday - unless Reggie Bush steps in!!! - and THG truly will have complete coverage of the ceremony/reception. At no charge.

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Kate Middleton lived every girl's dream when she became a princess.

But, according to another tabloid report, that comes at a steep price.

As pressure to be perfect expands, Kate Middleton literally shrinks, Life & Style says, with the immense stress - from safety and kidnapping threats, to worrying about her husband and constantly being critiqued - getting to her.

REFUSING to Eat!

A supposed insider tells the tabloid the following:

"She dropped two dress sizes before the wedding and loved how it made her feel. She's showing no signs of slowing down, and the weight is just falling off of her."

"Friends are always trying to get Kate to eat something when they see her, but she just ignores them and refuses ... she changes the conversation and makes an excuse like she's eaten already or that she's not hungry."

Allegedly, sister Pippa Middleton has started calling her older sibling up to five times a day to check in on her and her eating habits, while William is also increasingly concerned about his beautiful wife's diet and stress.

Personally, we think both sisters look tremendous. They should never feel pressured to be thinner, and we hope they always know this. That's all.

What do you think? Is Kate Middleton too thin?

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Angelina Jolie is the Ice Queen.

That's according to a former nanny, quoted by In Touch, in the celeb gossip rag's cover story this week. The nanny who tells all does have a name - Krisann Morel - although she may be a fabrication of the editors there.

After all, we've seen versions of this 20 times before:

The Nanny Tells All

Life with Angelina Jolie: Chaotic. Cruel. Controlled.

Come on. We have no problem believing that Angelina Jolie wears the pants in her relationship with Brad Pitt. But why the fascination with her "evil" persona?

Say what you will about the actress, we find it a little hard to believe that she drives people to tears ... unless we're talking about Brad's mystery woman, that is.

Apparently she also stages photos, too. We feel so used.

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Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are on the fast track with their surprisingly public relationship of four months. No one is disputing that much.

Procreation, though?

We'd expect this from OK! or In Touch, but Us surprised our staff a bit with this new cover story, claiming they are "trying for a baby" already ...

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux Cover

"They have talked at length about getting married and starting a family," an insider close to them tells the new issue of the celebrity gossip magazine.

"She is anxious for the next phase of her life and feels like this is the time."

And her hunky new guy (who split with girlfriend of 14 years Heidi Bivens in March) is completely on board with having a baby, a second insider says:

"They both want it to happen soon."

So basically, there's no vigorous procreation plan taking place, it's just something they've discussed. That's not a misleading headline or anything.

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Jennifer Lopez may have split from Marc Anthony last month, but tabloids have never been more in love with this singer.

She's been featured on numerous covers since the divorce announcement, with one claiming there's a plan to reunite J. Lo with ex-fiance Ben Affleck, his kids and wife be damned!

The latest coverage, sadly, is not nearly as scandalous. Us Weekly claims that Lopez has vowed to make Anthony "pay," while Life & Style is perpetuating the rumor that there's a romance brewing between Jennifer and Rodrigo Santoro...

  • Jennifer Lopez on Us Weekly
  • Jennifer Lopez's Revenge!

What's the true scoop? We may never know.

But Lopez actually spoke to Vanity Fair for its latest issue. She says she's sad her relationship is over, but she still believes in love and hasn't given up just yet on happily ever after.

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Is throat-cancer survivor Michael Douglas smoking again, just months after enduring grueling treatment for the disease? Star and Radar say he is.

The photos appear in the new issue of the celebrity gossip tabloid and were allegedly taken July 21. He is shown on a yacht in Porto Venere, Italy.

The legendary actor is clearly smoking in the cover photo, and in more images inside the magazine. The question is when they were really taken.

Michael Douglas Cancer Shocker!

Michael Douglas went through chemotherapy and radiation last year, bravely beating cancer, making these new photos - if legit - even more stunning.

The oldest, easiest trick in the tabloid book is the file photo, though. Using an old or misleading image to make a cover stand out is par for the course.

We can't guarantee that's what's going on here, but we also wouldn't bet against that. It's worth noting that he was a heavy smoker prior to 2010.

There's also the possibility that he was smoking medicinal marijuana, but even that would still expose Douglas to potentially damaging side effects.

Douglas has yet to comment about the photos.

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Now it all makes sense.

Tabloids have been wondering and reporting on the basis for Jennifer Lopez's split from Marc Anthony - was he too controlling? Did he cheat on her? - but OK! Weekly has gotten to the bottom of the divorce:

It's all part of a plan to reunite a couple that broke up four days before a wedding, that featured a $1.2 million engagement ring and a 16-month romance: BENNIFER!

J. Lo and Ben Afflec Cover

“They’re talking,” an insider says in the latest issue of this magazine, while a Lopez colleague says Ben Affleck and J. Lo “have spoken more than once.” Juicy!

If Jennifer's mother, Guadalupe, has anything say about it (note: she doesn't), the two will totally get back together. Mrs. Lopez supposedly called Affleck a few days before her daughter and Anthony separated, with a family friend saying: “She was devastated when the [Bennifer] engagement was called off."

We're very sorry, Jennifer Garner. But you might wanna hire a divorce attorney. This reunion seems inevitable.

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Teresa Giudice makes about $250,000 per season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. She then rakes in at least that much in endorsement deals and other marketing maneuvers.

But this reality star opens up in the latest issue of In Touch Weekly and admits: she's terrified of being poor. Perhaps she ought to stop going on $60,000 spending sprees in that case. What a spoiled moron.

NJ Housewives

Do you give Teresa Giudice points for being honest? Or want to climb through your computer screen and into this tabloid cover to strangle her for being so insensitive to actual poor people?

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We know Angelina Jolie wears the pants in her relationship with Brad Pitt, but will her insane, jealous rages ultimately drive her man away for good?

That's what OK! surmises in its new cover story.

The Oscar-winning actress is allegedly GOING NUCLEAR over Brad Pitt’s flirtatious relationship - documented in photographs!!!!! - with a young assistant.

Just look at their chemistry on the Malta set of his new zombie thriller, World War Z. He's standing NEXT TO HER! No wonder Angie's blowing her top:

Brad's Mystery Woman!

According to this reliable source, Brad's "flaunting" happiness on purpose!

“Brad resents Angelina tries to control him,” a source says. “He told Angelina outright, ‘I’ve always had women friends, I’m always going to. End of story.’”

Jolie puts on a good front as a woman of confident - even arrogant - sensuality, but the world-saving mom has some insecurity issues, OK! states.

Slowly but surely, it's driving Pitt crazy ... mostly.

“Of course, there’s a part of him - even though he would never admit it - that likes it,” the insider reveals. “Angelina is usually so cool, unaffected."

"She's this kind of untouchable woman, and when she shows some jealousy, it lets him know she has a weak spot - and that she’s crazy about him.”

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Kate Middleton is anorexic and with child, according to Star.

That last part should tell you everything you need to know. By anorexic and pregnant, what the tabloid means is she is not pregnant and/or sickly.

Apparently sources close to the Duchess say that she's "gone from fit and toned to gaunt and bony" and the whole thing is just "horrifying." Gosh.

Anorexic, Pregnant

Dr. Fred Pescatore, who has no connection to her at all, notes that "Kate looks to weigh from 95 to 100 lbs. That makes her seriously underweight."

At 5'10", a weight of 100 pounds would put her BMI as "severely underweight" or, to put it another way, not able to function and possibly not alive.

So Kate Middleton is pregnant and dying. Thanks Star!

In reality, she's probably just thin. Not starving to be sexy or ready to collapse due to exhaustion or severe malnourishment at any given moment.

Nor is she carrying any future kings or queens. Although now that she's married and settling down, you have to wonder when she'll get pregnant.