by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It's been many minutes now since Kim Kardashian last made news - gasp! She has slightly lighter hair! - so we figured readers were anxious to find out what this reality star is up. In the eyes of the tabloids, that is.

First, according to In Touch Weekly, Kim is controlled in every conceivable way by mother Kris Jenner, who allegedly pushed her into having sex at age 14 and also brainwashed her with money. Hmmm... this is one magazine story we may actually believe.

  • Kim Kardashian In Touch Weekly Cover
  • Kim Kardashian on Reality TV Weekly Magazine

Meanwhile, Reality TV Weekly is the latest source to claim that Kris Humphries plans to sue Kim in order to force her into a confession: that their marriage was a scam from the start.

Kris "wants the world to know how badly he was duped into this sham of a marriage," an insider says. "[Humphries] feels he was set up by the Kardashians. He wants to be able to tell his side. When he married Kim, he thought it was forever, but he realized Kim wasn’t in love with him and now believes he was merely a prop."

The power forward hopes a judge will soon overturn his prenup and then he can go on record legally with his Kardashian bashing, which we highly encourage him to do ASAP. It's a lot of fun.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Yes, Demi Moore was rushed to the hospital last week, but multiple sources now report that the star's problems have been obvious to friends for a long time now.

According to the latest issue of Us Weekly, friends have been concerned for months over Moore's drug use and self-destructive behavior, most of which stemmed from Ashton Kucher's public affair with Sara Leal.

"She's been really down, and she's surrounding herself with young people to make her feel better," said an insider, adding that Demi has been intent on staying as thin as possible for years. "She's been mixing pills and Red Bulls, among other things."

Demi Moore Us Weekly Cover

It's been this desire to remain young, sources claim, that's led to Demi hanging out so often with daughter Rumer Willis... and which also allegedly led to an incident in L.A.'s Venice neighborhood a few weeks back when she set her sights on Zac Efron.

She "tracked down" the former High School Musical star at a shindig, supposedly, and "seemed out of her mind at this party," an onlooker says.

Efron, of course, is 24. He was two years old when Ghost came out.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Angelina Jolie's life sure is a roller coaster these days.

In the tabloids, anyway. Just yesterday, she was headed to rehab after a heroin relapse, having withered away to 99 pounds. Today? Pregnant with twins! Again!

Whenever Angelina and Brad Pitt appear together, there's a tenderness and joy in their shared glances - and it has nothing to do with his Oscar nod for Moneyball.

Now, for the second time this month, a tabloid has reported that Angelina is pregnant. This time, it's OK! doing the honors, and she's expecting twin boys! OMG!!

Angelina Jolie: It's Twins!

"They were both sp overjoyed at how quickly Angie became pregnant this time," says a confidante. "They said that it showed that this pregnancy was 'meant to be.'"

Aww. Just imagine if she actually were pregnant.

But when Angie's latest ultrasound revealed there were two heartbeats, well, they couldn't believe it: "They were totally shocked," says the source. We'll bet!

No word if Maddox, 10, Pax, 8, Zahara, 7, Shiloh, 5, and Knox and Vivienne, 3, have heard the fake news, or if they're still pressuring dad to marry mom.

Either way, "They are struggling to keep it a secret. They are totally excited and buzzing, but have only spilled the good news to close friends and family."

And, via this fake source, O freaking K! magazine.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Star’s cover story this week is all about Angelina Jolie and how she’s down to an emaciated 99 pounds due to shooting up heroin like a fiend apparently.

Three separate reasons this is ridiculous:

  1. The magazine proclaimed Brad Pitt got Angelina Jolie pregnant not even a month ago. Guess that didn't pan out, given the image below?
  2. The cover photo of the star is hilariously Photoshopped to the point where her head and body don't even look proportional any longer.
  3. She looked slender, but healthy THIS WEEKEND.
Angelina Jolie Wasting Away!

While the 36-year-old actress is clearly thin, she's not anorexic. Her upper arms have some flesh on them, her cheeks look full enough, and so on.

Star's claim that the 5'7" actress weight has plummeted to 99 pounds seems full-on absurd, but that's their claim, citing the good ol' anonymous source:

“Angie has gotten so skinny and frail, Brad thinks she needs professional help,” the source said, adding that Brad staged an “intervention,” to get her help.

“Her face looks sunken. On the red carpet, her arms look like twigs.”

Uh huh. “Brad is really concerned with her eating habits,” the source adds. “She’s existing on cereal bars and smoothies and slipped to just 99 pounds."

"She is so thin yet will still go on a carrot-juice fast for days. Brad leaves food out all over the place hoping she’ll snack.” LOL. Sorry, we can't take anymore.

Just for fun, check out Star's cover from almost exactly a year ago after the jump. Must be something about Angelina Jolie this time of year ...

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Hell is a strong word, but that's what Us chooses to describe Heidi Klum's marriage to Seal, which is coming to an end after nearly seven years of bliss together.

While reconciliation is still on the table, and the couple is still wearing their wedding rings, the tabloid tells a dramatically different story regarding the duo.

One focused on Seal's temper, apparently.

Heidi Klum and Seal Cover

While jealousy over Heidi's career was reportedly a source of friction between the two, as well as the time they spent apart, "vicious fights" may be a stretch.

Clearly, things weren't perfect, otherwise they'd still be together, but that doesn't mean their split has to be this shocking, violent, combative affair, does it?

The couple says: "While we have enjoyed seven very loving, loyal and happy years of marriage, after much soul-searching we have decided to separate."

"This is an amicable process and while we have had the deepest respect for one another and continue to love each other very much, we have grown apart."

Could it be that's actually true? And that while it was certainly the most shocking celebrity divorce of the year, it isn't a contentious or scandalous battle?

Sure, but that doesn't sell magazines, right Us?

by Free Britney at . Comments

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's daughter Shiloh's sporting a shorter-than-ever hairdo these days. So short that one onlooker - gasp - mistook her for a boy. A boy!

Now, in the new issue of Life & Style, sources reveal that while the proud parents haved encourage their kids to be independent, Brad is increasingly concerned.

The scrutiny to which Shiloh is being subjected could be too much, he fears.

Worried About Shiloh!

"It would crush Brad if one of his kids was picked on," says a friend of Angie's.

And there's reason for the parents to be on edge over Shiloh, caution experts.

"This is a culture where kids get picked on if they don't look like other kids," points out an alleged psychotherapist. "Shiloh's already different - being the daughter of big stars - and ultimately, she may already feel ostracized because of that."

Brad is going to worry, but also doesn't want to pressure her. "I want [my kids] to explore that innocence as long as possible and find out what's really interesting to them," he has said. "I just don't want to encumber them in any way."

What's really interesting to THG? Stories about Brad getting Angelina Jolie pregnant and leaving her for Jennifer Aniston approximately 15 times per year.

by Free Britney at . Comments
Sad news out of Elkview, W.V., this morning.Jeremy Calvert, Leah Messer

Teen Mom 2 star Leah Messer has suffered a miscarriage, according to reports. "She was having bad cramps for the past two weeks, and then she miscarried," an insider said the 19-year-old, already parents of 2-year-old twins Aleeah and Ali.

Fiance Jeremy Calvert, who got engaged to Leah late last year, told OK! Magazine that the miscarriage has made for "a devastating experience" for himself and Leah.

Leah Messer Miscarriage

"All I can do is support Leah and take things day by day," said Jeremy, who's not the father of Ali and Aleeah (that would be her former husband Corey Simms).

"It's hard, but we will get through it.”

In the last two years, Leah has known lots of sorrow. She had a very traumatic pregnancy, starting at age 16, and went into early labor at just six months.

She remained on strict bed rest for the last trimester of her pregnancy, and Ali has been dealing with serious health issues from the moment she was born.

Combined with her divorce, it's all been too much to take. Luckily, she is reportedly very happy with Calvert and has him to lean on in this difficult time.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Russell Brand is entering Justin Timberlake territory at Us Weekly apparently.

No matter how little evidence they may have, they're convinced Russell is a bad dude. Whenever Katy Perry gets around to writing material for her third album, the tabloid erroneously claims, she's got plenty of dark, painful memories to draw from!

The reason for that? Russell is (allegedly) penning a book about her!

Russell Brand and Katy Perry Us Cover

Despite public denials from a rep, the British comic plans to cover all the nitty-gritty, sometimes ugly details of their failed 14-month marriage ... Us claims.

"Katy is insulted and feels betrayed that Russell has treated her so poorly," a pal to the "Firework" singer, 27, tells Us. "She will never forgive him. Ever."

For the record, Katy says no one speaks for her.

Although Perry is supposedly "in panic mode" regarding her ex's memoir plans, she's back to work on her ongoing concert tour, commercial shoots and more.

She's taking pains to "limiting interactions" with Brand, another source says of Katy. "He's being so atrocious that she feels like she never knew him."

FYI, he's really not, as far as we can tell.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

A-ha! The puzzle has been solved. The National Enquirer has discovered he identity of Khloe Kardashian's father, and the answer is a killer:

O.J. Simpson!

Following the ridiculous, unproven rumor that Khloe is the product of an affair between Kris Jenner and a mystery man, this tabloid has now published an equally ridiculous and unproven rumor: that the former Buffalo Bills running back and likely murderer was that man.

National Equirer Cover Story

Scandalous! Khloe looks JUST like O.J.'s daughter, Sydney!!!

The cover story should actually come as good news to the family. It's given Kim Kardashian a chance to prove she's not a robot, as she actually made us laugh with the following Tweet in response to this report:

"It makes sense now. Khloe u are so tan!"

by Free Britney at . Comments

Angelina Jolie is OFFICIALLY pregnant, according to a non-reliable celebrity news source. You heard it there first, and in 99.9% likelihood, incorrectly!

This is the second tabloid to make Angelina Jolie pregnant in a month. It's her own fault, making comments that she might be expanding her brood.

Maybe. Eventually. They don't rule it out. That's it. She also likes getting in bed with Brad, so basically, she's gotta be knocked up. We're convinced.

Ange did say recently, "I could end up pregnant." Could. She also said "I love being pregnant!" In general. Not right now. Yet OK! still cranks out this:

Angelina Jolie Pregnancy Story

Oh, but lest we thought OK! were just joshing us, a "source close to the Oscar-winner" reveals that Angelina is having her seventh child and NOT adopting it!

In other words, she's (totally not) pregnant, this (not) reliable source says!

"She's almost three months along," the faux Deep Throat dished. "It's not something she wants to officially announce but she's telling a select group of people."

SIDE NOTE: None of whom are actual humans.

"Angelina is really savoring every moment. She loves being pregnant. She's been having a tough time with morning sickness but says it's all worth it."

That's good at least. Wouldn't want a fake pregnancy to feel not worthwhile.

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