by Free Britney at . Comments

Jennifer Aniston's baby dreams have been shattered. Shattered.

Even by its nearly non-existent standards, the SHOCKING NEWS from In Touch Weekly in its new cover story is patently ridiculous, even a little offensive.

Jen's "happiness turns to heartbreak," the cover proclaims, with an arrow pointing to an alleged "baby bump" with the implication that she miscarried.

Jennifer Aniston's Baby Dream Shattered!

Yes, they've reached the point of making up miscarriages for her.

Now 45 years old, and still childless despite all her success in life, she tearfully admitted (according to this gossip rag) that "I'm never going to be a mom."

Throw in that sad-looking stock photo and BOOM. So powerful.

We don't even want to KNOW what happened during the "emotional moment she told Justin," who may or may not have been cheating with Liv Tyler.

BTW: Like the Jennifer Aniston pregnant chatter, that's B.S. too.

In case you were wondering how Jen's baby dreams worked out in the past, scroll through this impressive, totally accurate gallery of tabloid covers:

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We often make fun of Kim Kardashian.

It's difficult to do otherwise when the sellout is shilling for a weight loss corset and setting a terrible example for her young fans.

But even the THG staff feels badly for Kardashian today because it's been revealed she's pregnant with baby number-two... and she's been dumped by Kanye West!

What a tough break.

Kim Kardashian: Pregnant, Dumped

According to the hilarious new issue of Life & Style, North West will soon have a sibling.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Yup. The Amal Alamuddin pregnant rumors have started already.

With this British lawyer set to marry George Clooney, the tabloids have zeroed in on the upcoming nuptials and determined there's only one reason Clooney would ever settle down:

A baby!

Amal Alamuddin Pregnant Claim

Indeed, Life & Style alleges on its latest cover that a “rush-rush wedding” is on the way because a child is also on the way and Clooney’s life will be “changed forever” as a result.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Beyonce has bigger problems than Tina Seals' lawsuit, according to the new issue of celebrity news magazine Us, which features her on its latest cover.

While Seals' bogus claims of maternity of Blue Ivy Carter are easily dismissed, the relentless chatter about the state of Bey's marriage will not case. To wit:

Beyonce Plans Divorce

Now that the singer has finished the last of her On The Run U.S. tour dates with Jay Z, fans are wondering if the spouses of six years will go the distance.

Not according to this report, which states that Beyonce is "already making moves toward a split," and is "fed up with faking it" on tour with her man.

One source says "she is done" when their tour is, though in the same report, alleged insiders say her "plan of action" is in place "if/when" she leaves Jay.

So basically this is all hot air and nothing substantive. Not sure why we expect otherwise, given the non-stop noise about music's biggest duo.

Rumors about the power couple's union have run rampant ever since the perfect facade came crashing down thanks to Solange and Jay's elevator fight.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Kate Middleton and Prince William's grandmother, HRM Queen Elizabeth, may seem like they enjoy a kind, cordial relationship, but not the case, says one tabloid.

The two are actually at war. AT WAR!! And Kate has the upper hand!

  • Kate Middleton AT WAR!
  • Kate Middleton, Queen Elizabeth

One wouldn't think that with all the Kate Middleton baby bump speculation, a tabloid would focus on a fake beef with an 88-year-old, but we digress.

While this supposed feud between a one-time commoner and one of the longest-reigning monarchs in the history of Europe is FAR from over, Kate is winning.

According to Life & Style, the Duchess scored "her biggest victory yet” over her elderly foe by convincing Prince William to move out of Kensington Palace.

Their family is off to the countryside. The Queen is supposedly very unhappy ... even though she actually gave the couple the estate they will be relocating to.

To be closer to William's job as a pilot. But who's counting.

Says the alleged, anonymous, all-knowing palace source:

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

For the first time in recorded history, an OK! Weekly cover story has got it right.

Mostly. Kind of. Sort of.

It is true that Kim Kardashian thinks she still has 15-20 pounds of baby weight to lose, as she's annoyingly been Tweeting about her huge hips and butt for weeks now.

So, yes, we grant that Kim has basically admitted she's fat (in her warped eyes, that is).

Kim Kardashian Fat Feature

However, OK! then goes and ruins all its credibility by claiming Kim visits a doctor every year for a body “maintenance program” and, this time around, she has a “crazy long lost of things she wants to get fixed."

Such as?

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We're very sorry to break it you, North West. But your parents aren't in love.

We know this may be difficult to hear, but Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are living a "FAKE MARRIAGE," according to the latest In Touch Weekly cover.

The stars allegedly sleep in "separate bedrooms” and engage in “scripted public appearances,” with their relationship no more than a “business deal" between money-hungry celebrities.

Kim Kardashian: Exposed!

This isn't the first time we've heard Kim and Kanye are miserable together.

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by Tyler Johnson at . Comments

In case you've been living under a rock on Mars in a cave with really crappy wi-fi: Beyonce and Jay Z might be headed for divorce.

It started off as a ridiculous tabloid rumor, but it now seems that there may be some truth to it.

In fact, just today we learned that Beyonce met with financial advisers, possibly to prepare for what's sure to be an insanely costly breakup.

Considering the Carters are already raising a two-year-old daughter in the public eye, the whole situation is pretty sad. 

Fortunately, you can always count on the folks at Life & Style to put a hysterically over-the-top spin on any real-life celebrity drama:

Beyonce Hates Cheaters!

Here that, world? Beyonce can't live with a cheater! Maybe that's why Bey's been apartment shopping in NYC. Or maybe she's just sick of hearing her husband shout "Hov!" every time he successfully throws a tissue into the wastebasket.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Justin Theroux just dumped Jennifer Aniston on their wedding day, according to a hilarious celebrity gossip tabloid that really mailed this cover story in.

The only surprising thing is that the publication didn't seize upon the Beyonce-Jay Z divorce rumors instead, as those seem to be all the rage these days.

Instead, they went with another famously private couple about which much is written with zero evidence. Or ex-couple, if you were to buy this nonsense:

Dumped on Her Wedding Day!

When it comes to gossip sources, and the celebs they focus on, Life & Style and Jennifer Aniston make a long-running, very inaccurate pairing.

Allegedly, they were as "fight tore them apart - hours before the ceremony in Mexico.” Of course, there was no ceremony in Mexico. Minor detail.

The magazine previously reported that Aniston and Theroux would marry in Cabo San Lucas this month, so at least they followed their own false narrative.

Conveniently, the fake wedding never took place. What are the odds?!?

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

As you've likely heard by now, Justin Bieber spent part of this week getting into a fight with Orlando Bloom.

Sadly, according to the latest issue of In Touch Weekly, Selena Gomez isn’t doing much better these days.

The magazine (erroneously) claims Gomez could be heading “back to rehab,” where she spent a few weeks at the outset of 2014, allegedly due to the scars of her time with Bieber.

Selena Gomez Rehab Claim

It goes on to claim that Gomez has been “partying with hardcore drugs” and that she recently “hit rock bottom.”

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