by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It's been a krazy kouple weeks for the Kardashians.

Did you hear that Kourtney Kardashian got dumped in the delivery room, despite now having yet given birth to her third child?

Or that Kim Kardashian was betrayed by her siblings? And that she's also pregnant again? And that she's been let go as a wife by Kanye West?!?

These stories would vary from interesting to shocking to emotional to dramatic... if they were remotely true.

But because Kim Kardashian and her family don't actually do anything in order to be famous (no, taking Instagram selfies doesn't count; or, sadly, maybe it does in this day and age), supermarket tabloids must make stuff up about them in order to move copy.

And make stuff up they sure do! From plastic surgery rumors to baby and cheating chatter, here's a run down off 55 recent cover stories that are hilariously untrue:

Kim Kardashian Butt Problems
Oh no! Kim Kardashian's butt won't stop growing! What will the reality star do?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Thanks a lot, Famous. You're forcing us to actually take the side of Kendall Jenner here.

The latest issue of this Australian tabloid features a picture of Jenner on the runway at New York Fashion Week, including alongside it a claim that model bosses have deemed the 18-year old "TOO FAT" to succeed.

Kendall Jenner Cover

This would be cruel enough on its own, of course, as the cover also alleges higher-ups have ordered Jenner to "lose 8kg," which is approximately 17 pounds.

But here is where the magazine truly steps over the line:

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Earlier today, we learned that Kourtney Kardashian is having a girl.

Which would be very exciting for Kourtney and Scott Disick... if they were still together, that is.

According to Life & Style, the reality star has been DUMPED by her baby daddy and here's the worst part: it took place in the delivery room! Oh no!

We're not sure how that's possible, considering Kourtney is still pregnant and everything. But, look, there's an actual picture of Kardashian in the delivery room, so the story must be accurate...

Kourtney Kardashian: Dumped?!?

... either that, or it's an old photo of Kourtney in a different delivery room and is totally unrelated to this made up report. One or the other.

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Teresa Giudice is a lot of things:

Greedy. Selfish. Law-breaking. Pathetic.

But here is one thing Teresa Giudice is NOT: Pregnant.

Shockingly, even though the latest cover of In Touch Weekly claims otherwise, The Real Housewives of New Jersey star is not expecting her fifth child.

Teresa Giudice Pregnant Claim

Wendy Feldman - the crisis manager for Teresa and Joe Giudice because, let's face it, they need a crisis manager - tells Us Weekly there "is NO truth to the rumor" that the reality star is knocked up, adding that any allegation to the contrary is "false in every way."

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Hills' Lauren Conrad is married. The reality star, fashion designer and author tied the knot September 13 with fiance William Tell, and it was perfect.

Us Weekly has the first wedding photo, and it's this week's cover:

Lauren Conrad Wedding Photo

Lauren said "I do" to her longtime love, 34, in a rustic-chic ceremony on the California coastline, with family and friends including Lo Bosworth on hand.

Naturally, lifestyle maven that she has become, the entire affair was chock full of Pinterest-worthy personal touches from the decor to the food.

It helps that one of her bridesmaids and best friends is wedding planner Cassandra Herschenfeld, who took on a major role in planning the undertaking.

The end result? More than worth the time and effort she'd expended.

"I don't know that I've ever been as happy as I was walking down that aisle," Conrad said of marrying William Tell, a musician and USC law graduate.

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

According to the latest issue of Life & Style...

... Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are getting married.

... Mariah Carey is an emotional mess.

... and Kim Kardashian has gotten the boot from her family!

Kardashian Drama!

It’s unclear what happened, but some kind of “ultimate betrayal” has torn Kim apart from Kourtney and Khloe, according to the editors at Life & Style, that is.

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Earlier today, a number of fresh Kim Kardashian nude photos hit the Internet.

So, one would have to wonder, why would this reality star care if anything from her cell phone or computer gets released by the infamous Hollywood hacker behind the recent run of Jennifer Lawrence nude photos?

What could Kim possibly have to hide?!?

HACKED!

A LOT, the latest issue of In Touch Weekly alleges.

“A data leak could reveal how kinky she and Kanye are in the bedroom, and she’d be totally embarrassed,” an insider tells the tabloid, explaining why else Kardashian has a reason to be afraid right now:

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Jennifer Aniston's baby dreams have been shattered. Shattered.

Even by its nearly non-existent standards, the SHOCKING NEWS from In Touch Weekly in its new cover story is patently ridiculous, even a little offensive.

Jen's "happiness turns to heartbreak," the cover proclaims, with an arrow pointing to an alleged "baby bump" with the implication that she miscarried.

Jennifer Aniston's Baby Dream Shattered!

Yes, they've reached the point of making up miscarriages for her.

Now 45 years old, and still childless despite all her success in life, she tearfully admitted (according to this gossip rag) that "I'm never going to be a mom."

Throw in that sad-looking stock photo and BOOM. So powerful.

We don't even want to KNOW what happened during the "emotional moment she told Justin," who may or may not have been cheating with Liv Tyler.

BTW: Like the Jennifer Aniston pregnant chatter, that's B.S. too.

In case you were wondering how Jen's baby dreams worked out in the past, scroll through this impressive, totally accurate gallery of tabloid covers:

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We often make fun of Kim Kardashian.

It's difficult to do otherwise when the sellout is shilling for a weight loss corset and setting a terrible example for her young fans.

But even the THG staff feels badly for Kardashian today because it's been revealed she's pregnant with baby number-two... and she's been dumped by Kanye West!

What a tough break.

Kim Kardashian: Pregnant, Dumped

According to the hilarious new issue of Life & Style, North West will soon have a sibling.

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Yup. The Amal Alamuddin pregnant rumors have started already.

With this British lawyer set to marry George Clooney, the tabloids have zeroed in on the upcoming nuptials and determined there's only one reason Clooney would ever settle down:

A baby!

Amal Alamuddin Pregnant Claim

Indeed, Life & Style alleges on its latest cover that a “rush-rush wedding” is on the way because a child is also on the way and Clooney’s life will be “changed forever” as a result.

Continue Reading...

×