Stephen Colbert Gossip

Stephen Colbert gave the commencement speech at Princeton University this past weekend. As usual, The Colbert Report host offered everyone pearls of wisdom.

"Gandhi said, ‘you must be the change you want to see in the world,'" Colbert told an audience of thousands. "But may I also point out he drank his own urine, so let's not go overboard on his advice."

It's hard to argue with that logic.

The protege of Jon Stewart added that the Class of 2008 "can change the world," but he pleaded with its members to "please don't do that."

"Some of us like it the way it is," Colbert said. "Personally, things are going great for me right now."

The Hollywood Gossip agrees. We're all for change, Barack Obama, but keep your focus on Iraq and the mortgage crisis. Don't enact underwear-wearing policies for female celebrities. Please.

Every night on The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert preaches "truthiness." That is, a version of facts that doesn't exactly take evidence, logic or intellectual examination into account.

However, there's nothing illogical about this: the sarcastic talk show host turns 44 today!

In honor of his birthday, we bestow upon Stephen Colbert the gift that would make him most happy: a photo montage of himself! Click on the following thumbnails now for larger, truthier versions...

Out of a job as of Monday, and unlikely to engage in any further sordid love trysts with Kristen (since she has been outed as Ashley Alexandra Dupre), disgraced New York Governor Eliot Spitzer will be forced to explore other avenues.

He might want to look further than Stephen Colbert, however. The Comedy Central host didn't exactly react approvingly to Spitzer's latest proposal ...

We imagine that New York Sen. Hillary Clinton, who Eliot Spitzer backed in the February 5 New York primary, has his number blocked on her caller ID as well.

On a serious note, and somewhat interestingly, Spitzer appeared in person on The Colbert Report February 12, the night he booked Kristen / Ashley Dupre as his prostitute and day before he got hooked by federal investigators.

Eliot Spitzer is also the subject of The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest for this week ... give us a creative caption for the outgoing New York Governor!

It's been awhile, but once again, the incomparable Stephen Colbert has taken the time out of his hit Comedy Central show, The Colbert Report, to tackle more important issues. It's been a hell of a week.

Who (and what) makes the latest "On Notice" board? Let's see…

Can you really argue with his selections? Cardin McKinney fans gotta calm down: their gal ain't gonna win American Idol; and President Bush's Economic Stimulus Plan? Weak! As for the rest of the list…

• Seriously, take it easy, Mams Taylor. No way Taryn Manning is worth it.

• We've got our eye on you, Mitt Romney! Keep connecting a vote for Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama to a national security surrender and we'll make sure you won't even be able to win the presidency of your local kennel in 2012.

• Go find a real cause, PETA. No one cares about roosters. And have you seen Pedro Martinez's change up?!?

• The Middle East: Angelina Jolie is coming for you. Be warned. Be aroused.

• We hope you had your fun with all that alcohol, troubled liver of Kirsten Dunst. The actress has put you on notice: it's time to get healthy.

• Finally, we pity the Las Vegas police force. Katie Rees is out there, drunk, naked and combative!

Stephen Colbert's nascent and satirical presidential campaign came to an abrupt end on Thursday as the Democratic Party in South Carolina turned down his application to get on the primary ballot in his native state.

South Carolina is the only state where Colbert sought to get on the ballot. He did not try getting on the ballot as a Republican, which costs $35,000. The Democratic ballot cost $2,500, which Colbert paid by the deadline.

Carol Fowler, chairwoman of the S.C. Democratic Party, said the executive council believed that Stephen Colbert did not meet two basic requirements:

1. That he be generally acknowledged as a viable nationwide candidate
2. That he be actively campaigning for the state's primary

The council voted 13 to 3 against certifying Stephen Colbert.

"The council really agonized over this because they really like him, they love his show, and everyone thinks it's wonderful that he cares about us," Fowler said, adding that his check will be returned.

Stephen Colbert is the host of The Colbert Report on Comedy Central.

Supporters of Colbert's candidacy have said it cast an amusing, revealing eye on the hype and folly of politics and could have gotten younger voters involved.

But it also drew critics, who said it was a self-promotional distraction that was draining media time and attention away from a serious campaign.

Alas, what would have been one of the great stories of the coming year is not to be. Somewhere, Barack Obama is breathing a deep sigh of relief.

Stephen Colbert really is running for president.

The faux conservative pundit is expected to officially file paperwork today to enter the Democratic primary in his home state of South Carolina, CNN reports.

The 43-year-old Colbert announced his bid October 16 on The Colbert Report, saying he would run as both a Democrat and Republican so "I can lose twice."

It looks like pure cost might have altered that plan. The fee to get on the GOP ballot is $35,000, whereas Colbert only has to cough up a modest $2,500 â€" or get 3,000 signatures â€" to get on the Democrat ballot in the Palmetto State.

Stephen Colbert: A political contender or pretender?

So when should Barack Obama start worrying? Probably not soon. The Democratic officials in South Carolina will meet Thursday to decide if the comedian is "viable" and has spent enough time campaigning before putting him on the ballot.

"He does not appear to be campaigning to win if he is only running in one state," said Carol Khare Fowler, chairwoman of the South Carolina Democratic Party.

Another council member, Charleston Democratic Party Chairman Waring Howe, was more blunt: "Over my dead body will Stephen Colbert be on the ballot."

Still, Stephen Colbert made two "campaign" stops in South Carolina last weekend, speaking at a "Rock the Vote" event on Saturday in Charleston and appearing Sunday in Columbia to receive a key to the city from Mayor Bob Coble.

That event attracted over 1,000 people, most of them University of South Carolina students. Better keep an eye in the rear view mirror, Hillary Clinton!

It may seem a bit early, but Time magazine is already gathering votes for its 100 Most Influential People of the Year issue.

And, no, Spencer Pratt is not on the list.

But Stephen Colbert is. The humorous talk show host is current leading reader voting. It's not hard to see why. Aside from having an ice cream flavor named after him, the guy is putting people On Notice left and right. Watch out.

Sadly, no one on The Hollywood Gossip staff will be in the issue. Not this year, at least. But a fellow celebrity gossip monger is currently listed in the top 20. We can't figure out the reason, but Time is under the impression that Perez Hilton influences people. Maybe. Stupid people, that is.

Meanwhile, Sanjaya Malakar is ranked above Barack Obama. This could be the most depressing news we find all day.

As we said, though, it's early.

A lot can change as 2007 progresses. But you can bet Sacha Baron Cohen will be on there no matter what. Borat affects us on a daily basis.

Once again, the incomparable Stephen Colbert has taken the time out of his hit Comedy Central show, The Colbert Report, to tackle more important issues. It's been a hell of a week. Who (and what) makes the latest edition of the "On Notice" board? Let's see...

It's impossible to argue with his selections. Divorce settlements are bad news all around (talking to you, Britney). And what's with everybody's fiancee getting knocked up before walking down the aisle? It's not just for Keri Russell and Amanda Peet anymore. Everybody's doing it this way. Was there some memo we didn't get?

As for the rest of the list...

• It's the hair. What else could possibly keep Sanjaya Malakar on American Idol? Watching the guy is raw pain. Yet he stays. Every week. As our ears bleed. Literally.
• We get it. Heather Mills has a prosthetic leg, yet is on a reality show about dancing! Amazing! Enough. Shouldn't science get the credit for making this possible, not the gold-digging former call girl?
• Mortgage lenders are paying the price for issuing many thousands of home loans to borrowers with bad credit. If your credit is so poor that you can't qualify for low mortgage rates, should you really be buying a house at all? Think about it.
• François-Henri Pinault, if you don't treat Salma Hayek right, we will end you.
• What is it with Laguna Beach graduates and getting arrested? First Jason Wahler (x3), now Jessica Smith. This town should hire one of its less troubled alums, Lauren Conrad, to conduct an anti-DUI seminar.
• Everyone's trying the pink hair thing. Scarlett Johansson. Kelis. Rachel McAdams. Joss Stone. In a word, it looks really friggin' lame. Get a life! Pink (the singer, not the color) is rolling in her grave.

Ask Stephen Colbert the one thing that's missing from this world and he's likely to tell you: an ice cream flavor named after himself.

Well, America's favorite son can finally relax.

This may be a hoax - perhaps started by good friend, Jon Stewart - but Ben & Jerry's appears to have come out with a Colbert-inspired flavor, "Americone Dream." Catchy, isn't it?

We can imagine Colbert saluting true Americans, such as Lauren Nelson, before devouring such a delicious dessert as he recites the Pledge of Allegiance at home.

The talk show host is ceretainly worthy of his own flavor, but allow us to suggest a pair of other ideas:

1. "Ice Cream in a Box," in honor of Justin Timberlake
2. "Drunken, Beautiful Chip," in honor of Tara Conner

Tell us, readers: What other celebrities deserve their own type of ice cream?

May God bless America! And Lauren Nelson!

The newly-crowned Miss America, of whom no nude pictures or tales of drunken debauchery have been posted on the Internet, has finally given the land of the free and home of the brave an upstanding beauty queen it can be proud of.

And after the events of the past few months - a period dominated by Miss USA Tara Conner (booze, cocaine, sexual indiscretions with men), Miss Teen USA Katie Blair (booze, sexual indiscretions with Conner!) and former Miss Nevada Katie Rees (you gotta check out these pics!) - that's no small feat.

No wonder, then, that comedian and patriotic social commentator Stephen Colbert is willing to stand up and give Nelson a salute. She's made us proud to be Americans once again...

... now, does anyone know where we can get more Katie Rees pictures? Just saying.