What do Star Jones, Paris Hilton and Carmen Electra have in common?
We know the obvious answer: an utter lack of talent and/or anything of substance to offer the public.
Based on the following picture, though, they also have the same taste in celebrity fashion. Take a look below. Let us know who looks best in this Diane von Furstenberg dress:
For news on a cute couple that seems right for each other, go read about Lauren Hastings and Shia LaBeouf.
For news on a disgusting couple that would be more wrong for one another than George W. Bush has been for our country, read below.
According to various reports, Star Jones - one day removed from announcing her divorce from Al Reynolds - is dating NBA superstar Dwyane Wade. This rumor leaves us speechless, likely because there’s too much vomit creeping into our mouths, making it impossible to put words together.
We shudder at the thought: Star Jones and Dwyane Wade, seen here at a recent tennis match, are dating.
We know Wade’s Miami Heat had an awful 2007-2008 season, but doesn’t Dwyane realize that he’s better than this? That his dating life needn’t reflect his team’s performance on the court? That Star Jones is an ugly media whore? That he lives in Miami, the nation’s hub for bikini-clad women?
We haven’t seen this mismatched of a couple since that apple dated that orange. Or Jason Wahler dated Lauren Conrad. Scumbag.
Star Jones has filed for divorce from Al Reynolds - and allow us to be the first to say: congratulations, Al!
The process actually got started late last month, as Jones shared with Entertainment Tonight:
“Several years ago I made an error in judgment by inviting the media into the most intimate area of my life,” said said… to the media.
“A month ago I filed for divorce. The dissolution of a marriage is a difficult time in anyone’s life that requires privacy with one’s thoughts. I have committed myself to handling this situation with dignity and grace and look forward to emerging from this period as a stronger and wiser woman.”*
* One that sells the details to any celebrity gossip tabloid that will pay.
This is a fair fight:
Kate Walsh and her new series, Private Practice vs. Michelle Ryan and her new series, Bionic Woman. Each airs Wednesday nights at 9 p.m. and each pits strong leading ladies against one another in a battle for ratings.
This is an unfair fight:
A celebrity fashion face-off between Star Jones and Carmen Electra. Actually, any sort of face-off between Star Jones and Carmen Electra.
The former co-host of The View is unattractive and deluded; she thinks she’s God’s gift to television. Conversely, the former wife of Dennis Rodman is good looking and well aware of her role in the universe: to be good looking in pictures.
Still, the two women wore the same outfit recently, forcing our staff to match them up and ask readers who looks better.
While past fashion face-offs - such as Audrina Patridge vs. Nicole Scherzinger - were close calls, it’s hard to imagine Jones receiving any votes in this contest.
But it’s your decision, readers. Let us know your thoughts.
Star Jones sucks.
The former co-host of The View, who misled viewers about how she lost recent weight and essentially begged companies to provide her with free schwag for her wedding, has somehow landed a new show on Court TV.
We wish we could ignore the woman that makes us yearn for Rosie O’Donnell, but Jones covered two of our favorite actors/nut jobs during her inaugural show Monday.
First, she spoke with guest Isaiah Washington, who Star non-sensically dubbed “the whipping boy for bad behavior.”
The former Grey’s Anatomy actor and future Bionic Woman guest star said of his experiences: “I hope everything I’ve gone through in the last eight months has not been in vain [and] these words disappear from the vernacular.”
What a martyr.
“I didn’t sense bitterness [from Isaiah],” Reynolds told Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS-FM radio show Monday. “If anything, it was great disappointment, and I understand that. But the only thing that moves you forward, in my opinion, is to not look at who did you wrong but to look at what you may have done wrong so you can be correctly given an opportunity the next time.”
So profound.
Moving on to Britney Spears, Jones doesn’t understand the hoopla surrounding this pop star. Yet she does admit to being a fan of celebrity gossip. We’re not sure how both of those views are possible.
“I am obsessed with pop culture and the entertainment industry, but for the life of me I cannot understand why we are so obsessed with this young girl and her man, her children and her divorce,” Star said. “We are sitting here tripping out because a 26-year-old is making mistakes – well, wonder of wonders!”
It should be noted that this opinion was expressed during a segment called “The Wrap Sheet,” in which Jones and a panel discussed the latest celebrity news.
Jones expressed consternation at people discussing Britney Spears so much… by discussing Britney Spears! Wonder of wonders, indeed.
Like Cash Warren and Jessica Alba splitting up, we never saw this one coming.
In a first-person essay in the September issue of Glamour, the former co-host of Elisabeth Hasselbeck et al. on The View confesses a not shocking secret.
Believe it or not, Star Jones Reynolds underwent gastric bypass surgery on August 19, 2003, after her weight reached an all-time high of 307 pounds.
This ends years of doubts and evaded questions over how she dropped 160 pounds in three years. Star Jones, 45, reveals that she decided to seek help for her weight woes after a close friend sat down and asked her, “So, what are we going to do about your weight?”
See excerpts below from Star Jones Reynolds’ essay as she talks about her battle with obesity and how her life has changed since the surgery.
On keeping her surgery a secret:
“I admit that when asked about my obvious weight loss over the past four years, I was intentionally evasive. Lying wasn’t an option, so I called it a ‘medical intervention,’ which was true, but it was a pathetic attempt to tell only what I could handle.”
“First, I didn’t know if surgery would work. I had never stuck to a diet or committed to exercise for more than a month, and I had spent my entire life telling everyone that I was fine with the way I looked… I was also terrified someone would have a tragic result after emulating me without making an informed decision with their doctor.”
THG NOTE: Some celebrities, like Heidi Montag, are open about having unnecessary surgery. Others, like Jessica Simpson, say they might want it down the road. Our point? We have none.
On her comfort food of choice:
“Whenever I felt lonely, a Double Whopper cheeseburger became my friend. If I felt sad, six strips of bacon made me feel better… but I convinced myself I was phat, not fat.”
On facing the truth:
“I was so angry. How had I allowed myself to get to 307 pounds? I could clearly remember the days when I’d considered myself fly and curvaceous. Funny – or sad – how we ‘thick’ girls can justify being excessively overweight.”
On growing up heavy:
“While I thank my parents for the confidence they managed to instill in me, in hindsight I wish I had shouted: ‘Put that fork down and get active!’”
THG NOTE: You hear that, Nicole Richie? Put that fork down, you’re gonna get fat! Man… you put on a few pounds since the last time we saw you?
On being overweight:
“I pretended not to see how big I was… but not only did I see it, I was disgusted by it. I also pretended not to see the side looks and smirks from friends and strangers, or her the backhanded compliments I received, such as ‘You have such a pretty face.’”
On what she’s learned from the experience:
“I’m not saying that in order to be happy, women need to be a certain size, but I am saying that we should all strive to be healthy.”
Thanks to People magazine for this great collection of celebrity quotes …
“I’m not ashamed that I need glasses for distance. I did not feel like I needed to have all of that hair, which was typical Star Jones, or the extra lashes or the heavy makeup.”
- Star Jones, on Star Jones
“If things go well and we get married, I’m going to be smart this time and I’m going to have him sign a prenup and if we get divorced, I’ll get half his allowance.”
- Paula Abdul, about younger boyfriend JT Torregiani
“I’m just hoping people do get it and don’t truly think that I do sunbathe in high heels and a bikini and a full face of makeup.”
- Victoria Beckham, on her “Posh” image
“It’s weird, it’s weird. I don’t wear rings… The only ring that I was wearing is our championship rings, but you only wear that maybe two times, three maybe. So I have to get used to it.”
- Tony Parker, on wearing a wedding ring now that he’s married to Eva Longoria
“Funny is key. Funny, silly, someone who doesn’t take themselves seriously, someone who can be ridiculous. That’s the most attractive thing.”
- Jessica Biel, on the kind of man she goes for
“Truth be told, I worry that the Simpsons-writing portion of my brain has been destroyed after 14 years of talking to Lindsay Lohan and that guy from One Tree Hill, so maybe it’s all for the best.”
- Former Simpsons writer Conan O’Brien, on not being asked to participate in the big-screen version of the animated show
“You know how people ask, ‘Who is the love of your life?’ God, I hope I haven’t met that person yet, in a way, because I’m single. I hope I haven’t had that, since that would be sad.”
- Winona Ryder
“This is an outrage.”
- Tina Fey, on her show, 30 Rock, scoring 10 Emmy nominations
“I’ve actually rented Björk’s swan dress. I know that’s kind of recycling, but I saw An Inconvenient Truth.
- The Office star Rainn Wilson (below), on what he plans to wear to the Emmys
Saturday marked the 133th running of the Kentucky Derby, and the stars flocked to the home state of Tara Conner to enjoy some mint juleps, horse racing and outlandish outfits.
Below (left), we see happy new dad Larry Birkhead with two women, who have been identified as Priscilla Barnstable and Patricia Barnstable Brown. Think he’s shopping around for new mothers for Dannielynn? Either way, there’s no doubt that Larry’s lookin’ sharp.
To Larry’s right, we have Kid Rock, who always feels at home in the south and in new girlfriend May Andersen. In addition to rocking a super-cool hat and shirt, Kid took some time out to publicly diss Kevin Federline during an interview.
Elsewhere, Star Jones and her husband, Al Reynolds, took in the events, looking happy and almost normal by her standards. If she’s going to bust out a ridiculous hat, at least Star picked an appropriate event with the Kentucky Derby.
Lastly, we have O.J. Simpson. We can’t really see what he’s wearing at the Derby, but we chose to include him because: 1. He was at the event. 2. It’s nice to see that known murderers who will one day rot in the fiery pits of hell can at least enjoy the sport of kings.
Which Kentucky Derby outfit is your favorite?
It’s not always so easy to see the error of your ways. Look at how long it took Stavros Niarchos to stop dating Paris Hilton.
Or Tara Conner to realize that cocaine, alcohol and representing your country as a young, hot woman just don’t mix.
Fortunately, most people do come around eventually. And, by the look of this picture below, it appears as though Al Reynolds has finally realized that he married Star Jones. It’s okay, Al. You were probably blinded by The View before.
But take a look at that blubbery arm now! The flesh is looser than Lindsay Lohan…
The not-at-all happy couple is celebrating Jones’ birthday with a bunch of people who must have showed up at the wrong party. We’re assuming guests here would prefer to have atttended the bash for Lauren Conrad instead.
Oh well. You can’t get everything you want. As Reynolds now knows. After all, he probably wants a wife who isn’t ugly and self-serving.
We thought it was crazy enough that Heather Mills was asked to appear on Dancing with the Stars. Why give publicity to a one-legged, former call girl that’s trying to steal millions of dollars from a music legend?
But that was nothing compared to other recent television show news: Court TV has hired Star Jones to appear on screens across the country.
The former co-host of The View makes Rosie O’Donnell seem tolerable. And Janice Dickinson look attractive.
Anway, here’s a photo of the supposedly new, improved and smart Star compared to the glamorous one from 2006. We think they’re both frightening.
Here’s a Matthew McConaughey picture to look at as you decide which image of Jones is scarier. We don’t want you to forget that there are hot people out there, too.
