by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Well, that didn't go as planned for the home team.

Brazil was positively destroyed by Germany in the World Cup today, falling 7-1 in the semifinals after the Germans scored a record-tying five goals in the first half alone.

Four of their scores came in a seven-minute span.

Thomas Muller opened the onslaught with a goal off a corner kick in the 10th minute, as Miroslav Klose broke the all-time World Cup scoring record 12 minutes later.

From there, the rout was on... and Brazil fans reacted accordingly:

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

In April, Andrew Robert Rector fell asleep while attending a baseball game between the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox.

Fast forward a few months, and the uninterested fan has filed a $10 million lawsuit against ESPN because he believes announcers Dan Shulman and John Kruk directed an “avalanche of disparaging words" in his direction after he zonked out in the fourth inning.

In his filing, Rector accuses the pair of painting an inaccurate portrait of him, specifically one of a "fatty cow that need two seats at all time and represent symbol of failure."

Rector also says Shulman and Kruk depict him as a "confused individual that neither understands nor knows anything about history and the meaning of rivalry between Red Sox and New York Yankes," while indirectly labeling him as a "socially bankrupt individual."

Does Rector have a case*? Watch the exchange between the announcers in reference to his ballgame nap and decide for yourself:

*(No. Not even a small one.)

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Loyal THG readers have already viewed a video of this dog playing soccer.

Perhaps they've also watched this canine cheer on the World Cup.

But the folks over at Mashable are here to prove that felines can get into the FIFA action as well, especially when set against the backdrop of heavy metal music.

That's how the following cats roll (and kick and save and take cooling breaks), as they sort of reenact some of the more famous World Cup goals to date.

Watch and laugh now:

Not bad, right?

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by Tyler Johnson at . Comments

The U.S. Men's National Team may have fallen to Belgium in a heart-stopping extra time match yesterday, but the amazing performance of American goal keeper Tim Howard will go down in history as one of the greatest in World Cup history.

Howard made an astonishing 16 saves, the most in any World Cup match since 1966.

Naturally, the Internet saluted Howard the best way it knows how: memes! To wit:

Tim Howard Saves Miley
Tim Howard can save anything! Even Miley Cyrus' reputation!

The hashtag #ThingsTimHowardCouldSave provided us with plenty of Photoshopped hilarity to help with our post-elimination depression.

Check out some highlights in the gallery above and laugh away your tears. Hey, there's always 2018!

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

The U.S. Men's National Team lost to Belgium yesterday, ending their 2014 World Cup run.

How do pretend soccer fans who act as if they're really into this sport feel about the result? And about the American squad in general?

Jimmy Kimmel took to the streets to ask posers this very question, specifically referencing Landon Donovan over and over to gauge their opinion on how the striker is playing... nevermind the fact that he isn't on the team.

Watch their clueless replies now:

LOL, right?

We're guessing many of these people are just tuning in to watch the 15 Hottest World Cup Players - and we don't blame them!

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Do you believe? Do you believe?

Do you believe that we will win?

In the following video, 232 young cancer patients gather at Camp Sunshine and motivate both each other and the U.S. Men’s National Soccer Team with the patriotic cheer of “I Believe That We Will Win!”

Watch the inspiring footage now:

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by Tyler Johnson at . Comments

Budweiser may be the quintessentially American beer, but the Anheuser-Busch InBev corporation that owns Bud is actually headquartered in Leuven, Belgium.

As Belgium faces off against the US in today's Round of 16 World Cup action, you may think that the Anheuser-Busch folks would be facing a serious conflict of interest.

When presented with this quandary, however, the folks in Budweiser's advertising department solved it with one word: 'Merica!

Yes, the Bud commercial that's set to air during today's game match is basically a rocket-powered cowboy boot capable of turning into a Mustang that runs on bald eagle droppings.

The InBev folks know where their bread is buttered and it ain't in the land of waffles!

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by Tyler Johnson at . Comments

Rihanna loves to shock on social media, but she usually sticks to the tried-and-true method of exposing her nipples in new and interesting ways:

RIhanna See-Through Dress Image
Rihanna has received some criticism for wearing a see-through dress to the CFDA awards. Frankly, we think she looks great!

During yesterday's US vs. Germany World Cup match, however, RiRi used a strange combination of weed and soccer to try and squeeze some WTF? reactions from her fans.

"Germany come onnn!" Ri tweeted at the start of yesterday's match.

When the LA Galaxy US pro team took offense and called out the tweet as rude, Rihanna revealed that her heart belongs to a different nation:

"At least da bae plays for Ghana lol" she tweeted in reference to her well-advertised crush on Ghana's Kevin-Prince Boateng.

So why is Rihanna trolling the World Cup? Well, she gave us the obvious answer in picture form:

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by Free Britney at . Comments

U.S. Olympic gold medal-winning soccer star Hope Solo has issued an apology following her shocking domestic violence arrest last week via Facebook.

Hope, who was arrested for domestic violence against her relatives, writes:

Solo, Hope

"I would like to apologize to my fans, teammates, coaches and the entire US Soccer and Seattle Reign FC communities for my involvement in a highly unfortunate incident this past weekend."

"I understand that, as a public figure, I am held to a higher standard of conduct. I take seriously my responsibilities as a role model and sincerely apologize to everyone I have disappointed."

"Due to pending legal issues, I cannot comment further at this time. However, I am confident in the legal process and believe my name will be cleared."

"I also would like to thank everyone who has reached out with messages of support and encouragement. I truly appreciate your loyalty, concern and well wishes."

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by Tyler Johnson at . Comments

Minnesota Vikings' running back Adrian Peterson's son was killed in 2013, allegedly by Joseph Robert Patterson - a boyfriend of the boy's mother.

Astonishingly, Patterson was freed on $750,000 bond while he awaited trial. That waiting period came to an end today, as Patterson was arrested for allegedly kidnapping the child's mother.

Adrian Peterson Pic

Patterson had been under strict instructions not to contact Peterson or any family members of his son, Tyrese.

Patterson was apprehended in Sioux Falls, South Dakota on Tuesday morning and is now being held without bail.

There is still no trial date set for Patterson's murder trial.

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