Sex Tapes Gossip (Page 6)

First, there was the Paris Hilton sex tape. Yech.

Then, the Dustin Diamond sex tape. Yikes.

Finally, rumors of a Britney Spears sex tape.

Yippee.

Now comes perhaps the sex tape possibility to end all sex tape possibilities:

Jessica Simpson is reportedly reeling over talk that a certain video is about to be leaked onto the Internet.

In the alleged X-rated romp, Jessica is seen engaging in a number of acts with then-husband Nick Lachey that would make even Crazy Joe Simpson blush.

In other words: please make this be real! T.H. Gossip can't handle being teased like this again.

On second thought, sure we can. But we still hope this is legit. A source reportedly close to the couple told Britain's Daily Sport newspaper:

"Jessica is horrified her name and sex tape are being mentioned in the same sentence. She's always been a girl of high morals and principles."

Except when she cheated on Nick with Bam Margera, that is.

According to reports, the tape does exist and has no doubt fallen into the dirty clutches of David Hans Schmidt.

How the heck did that guy get his job?

Kevin Federline is denying reports that he is trying to extort money from estranged wife Britney Spears by releasing a video of him making filthy, endless, white-trash love to her.

"There is not a sex video of Kevin and Britney in existence," Federline's lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, says in a statement issued Tuesday.

"It goes without saying that stories of Kevin trying to sell a sex video are patently false and anyone who reports they have information of such attempts is either lying or reporting the lie of someone else."

On November 12, the News of the World reported that Federline, who is seeking spousal support and custody of his two sons with Britney, Sean Preston and Jayden James, was trying to sell the alleged tape and had already been offered nearly $50 million.

Numerous sources also reported that David Hans Schmidt, the legendary celebrity sex tape distributor, was in contact with the alleged seller. It sure has been a crazy two weeks since Britney Spears filed for divorce from K-Fed back on November 7, officially pulling the plug after two years of crappy marriage.

The statement from Federline's attorney continues:

"It would be impossible to comment upon and correct all of the other misinformation about Kevin that appears on a daily basis and consequently no attempt has been made, or will be made, to do so. I hope that the public and media will keep this in mind before assuming accuracy of facts from Kevin's silence."

You got it, Mark Vincent Kaplan. We will stick to the facts from now on, at your request. Here are a couple of things we know for sure:

1. There is no Britney Spears sex tape.
2. Kevin Federline is the biggest loser alive.
3. But less offensive than Michael Richards.

The Britney Spears sex tape, or alleged Britney Spears sex tape, as we keep calling it, for lack of proof that it even exists, continues to fuel intense, filthy, lewd speculation.

The UK tabloid News of the World reported that Kevin Federline is shopping a four-hour sex tape featuring himself naked and "enjoying an uninhibited range of lovemaking" to his now-estranged wife, Britney Spears.

The paper cites a source close to Federline saying, "They did nothing all day but have sex - and play the odd game of chess."

Huh? K-Fed plays chess? We figured him for the checkers type, if you know what we're saying. We're saying he's a stupid f*%k and not smart enough to play chess.

Neither Britney or Kevin has confirmed the tape exists, but notorious porn broker David Hans Schmidt, who has said he is willing to pay up to $100 million for the tape if it is authentic, tells Us Weekly that he has been in contact with the alleged video's seller and plans to meet him in person today.

Although the seller spoke to Schmidt from a phone with a scrambled number, the man known heretofore as the Celebrity Sex Tape God says that the seller "dropped all the right names that made me believe he had the tape."

At the same time, TMZ reports that Britney Spears and Kevin Federline will get back together - just one more time, to assure the public they never made any sex tapes. Unlike Dustin Diamond. He made one. In which he gave some chick the Dirty Sanchez. Yuck. Please keep that Screech sex tape away from us, David Hans Schmidt.

A statement will be issued by Britney and K-Fed soon, the celebrity sleuths report.

If you thought that Britney Spears was stupid when she got married to Kevin Federline, or when she bore two of the hyper-fertile rapping aspirant's kids, we have news for you.

You were very, very right.

But if the supposed Britney Spears sex tape is real, that would bump her up another few notches on the moron meter, don't you think? Yes. And if the latest rumor regarding the alleged sex tape is true, she'd be taking to another level entirely.

In an effort to stop the K-Hole, a.k.a. K-Fed, from making any money from it, Britney is reportedly preparing a preemptive strike. She's seriously weighing leaking the tape for free. As in, no money needed to buy and view it. Many times.

Sources close to Spears report she is "seriously thinking about" giving away a digitally re-mastered copy of the four-hour long sex video.

During a trip to Louisiana last week with sons Sean Preston and Jayden James, Spears hinted she may just post a clip of the video on MySpace.

"Brit figures she'll beat that sucker to the punch, just like she can by giving away Jayden James pictures," said Spears' family friend Nyla Price, 55, owner of Nyla's Burger Basket. "Half of nuthin' is nuthin', and that's what her lying skunk of a husband will get if she gives that video away before he can find some sleazeball to buy it."

David Hans Schmidt: Rolling in grave.

Forget having to pay $29.99 for this DVD like you did for the legendary Paris Hilton sex romp. Or whatever they are going to charge for the Dustin Diamond sex tape. Yuck. Yup, no need to worry about getting fake versions of the thing or shelling out cash to see a nude Britney Spears get railed. You can delight in swatching Spederline go at it alll night long from the comfort of your laptop screen, and it will not cost you a dime!!

THG NOTE: It may, however, cost you any self-respect you once had.

While we seriously doubt that this story is real (and the early results of THG's Exclusive Britney Spears Sex Tape Poll seem to corroborate that assumption), here's hoping that it is. Because it would be the funniest story ever.

A judge threw out a libel suit brought by Britney Spears against Us Weekly for allegedly fabricating a story about some homemade porn cooked up by the pop princess and her deadbeat husband, Kevin Federline.

The judge's reasoning? Essentially, Britney Spears slutted it up long ago, thereby relinquishing any right to claim sexually-charged rumors about her are false.

And when you think back to some of the classic Britney Spears pictures such as the one shown here, it's hard to argue with that logic. Not that we're complaining, of course.

In tossing out the suit, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Lisa Hart Cole ruled that the article wasn't defamatory because Spears had, in her music videos and boring reality TV series, "put her modern sexuality squarely, and profitably, before the public eye."

Thus, it would be unlikely for the magazine article to be found defamatory, even if it lied and said she and Kevin recorded a sex tape.

The Us article said that the couple was concerned about a sex tape getting leaked, and that they'd watched the tape with her lawyers, with Britney allegedly acting "goofy" during the viewing, a detail that K-Fed's better (goofier?) half objected vigorously to in the original suit.

"It is clear that plaintiff did not bring this lawsuit because she was falsely accused of acting goofy," wrote Hart Cole.

Wow. If Jayden James Federline could see this... he'd probably spit up and cry. That's what babies do on occasion.

He may have a perfect name for a porn star, but Dustin Diamond swears he wasn't looking for a second career when he filmed himself having sex with a pair of skank hoez four years ago.

Riiiight, and Kate Bosworth meets up with her dear friend Nicole Richie to pig out at Old Country Buffet nightly.

"I'm not an adult actor. I did something stupid in private," he said.

Diamond met the women when he was on the road doing stand-up comedy.

"It was a bachelorette party and the bride-to-be and one of her bridesmaids were staying at a local hotel. They invited me back to come back and party," Dustin said.

Soon everyone will be able to see what transpired, as the much-anticipated Screech sex tape is set to be released in November. The man who made the name Samuel "Screech" Powers really, really annoying on Saved By The Bell says he and some pals each made sex tapes as a joke.

But someone -- he claims he doesn't know who or how -- got ahold of his and leaked it. At first, he threatened to sue, but instead has agreed to take a cut of the profits.

"I thought, I can spend a fortune fighting this or I can try to make a fortune," he said.

Diamond, a Milwaukee resident who was recently mugged, and who is releasing a comedy CD in November, doesn't sound very regretful. In fact, this whole thing reeks of a PR stunt. And feces.

"Let's just say, if I were a small man, it would be worse," he said.

Somebody kill us now.

The actor, 29, says the Dustin Diamond sex tape was made around the same time he met his manager, Jennifer Misner, 30, who he is currently dating.

When the tape came out, "She wasn't happy at all," says the Dirty Sanchez distributor. But he defends his actions.

"We were just dating. It was the very beginning, you know? There's a difference between being committed and just -- I mean, at that point, if she had pulled any kind of power trip, I would've said, ‘Uh oh, psycho!' and I never would've called her again."

Does he still keep in touch with any of his former castmates?

"No, I am always on the road and they are all out in California. People just won't let the Saved by the Bell stuff go!"

We have no idea what he's talking about.

But here's a nice pic of Diamond and former SBTB co-stars Mario Lopez and Mark-Paul Gosselaar. Those were the days, people. Those were the f*%king days.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

That's how Dustin Diamond, a.k.a. Screech Powers, feels about cashing in on his disturbing and recently-leaked sex tape.

The actor/comedian defended his recent decision to profit from the alleged Screech sex tape to Rita Cosby on MSNBC's Scarborough Country Wednesday.

"We could spend a fortune fighting it in court, with little bits already being leaked out on the Internet, or we could suck it up and say you know what, it could be a losing battle, we'll make money if we just side with it," Diamond said.

And thus, the career of Screech Powers, amateur porn star, begins.

Double D also confessed that he's formed a different opinion of his former enemy, the porn video kingpin David Hans Schmidt, even going so far as to pay that sick bastard a backhanded compliment.

"I tip my hat to the guy ... if someone has a tape out there, they gotta watch out, 'cuz chances are he's gonna get a hold of it... the Sultan of Sleaze has done it again and I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar."

THG NOTE: Hard to fault Screech for his decision to sell out. It's like we've been saying for years. If you're going to give some skank the Dirty Sanchez, you might as well try and make some cash off it.

Schmidt also appeared on the show and boasted of four more celebrity sex tapes which have recently fallen into his possession -- one featuring a certain rap artist, another of a celeb who stars on the Bravo network.

No clues yet, but at least it's not K-Fed. That dude is no artist.

Heads up, Paris Hilton, you're about to have company.

Actually, you probably have had "company" for the past few hours already. Maybe twice!

In any case, it's about to become official -- Dustin Diamond is going to join the ranks of other sex tape stars and have his moment in the very disturbing spotlight.

Sex tape broker and certifiable sick f*&k David Hans Schmidt has struck a deal with ClubRedLight.com to distribute the tape. While the actor has publicly protested the sale of the Screech sex tape, that's not stopping him from hitting The Howard Stern Show and MSNBC to chat about it.

Red Light tells the New York Daily News that the tape is "quite humorous and, at times, arousing."

Gross.

While we don't judge anyone here at T.H. Gossip (with the exception of that b!tch Ashlee Simpson and her utter lack of redeeming worth), the motivation behind the Dustin Diamond sex tape is hard to fathom. Is this some sort of publicity stunt by Screech? How do you do that to some skank on film and not think it's gonna get out? Who the hell knows.

Clips from the Screech sex tape, widely known as Saved by the Smell, and brought to us courtesy of celeb sleuths TMZ.com, has been burning up the Internet. We've already seen excerpts featuring star Dustin Diamond, and now, TMZ has done it again and obtained footage of the supporting cast.

David Hans Schmidt, the dirty, dirty agent who's now selling the rights to the tape, says the two women are from the Midwest and in their early 20s.

One is blond, while the other is a rather striking brunette. Wow, Screech, we never knew you had it in you back at Bayside High School.

In its exclusive preview, TMZ has altered the hoes' voices. The tape was reportedly shot in a Midwest hotel suite -- complete with hot tub and champagne -- earlier this year.

Schmidt is scheduled to appear on Howard Stern's radio show next week, and will narrate the play-by-play scenes, from the opening credits up to the infamous "Dirty Sanchez."

After the appearance with Stern, Schmidt will appear live with MSNBC's Rita Cosby and debate Diamond (a.k.a. Screech) live on her show. However, it is unclear what the former Saved by the Bell star will be debating. His technique? Do we event want to know?

Schmidt tells TMZ the tape will be available soon for $49.95 though a major distributor.

The tape is already causing a media ruckus, inspiring a parody of the video on the season premiere or SNL as well as The Tonight Show.

Speculation is swirling that the Dustin Diamond sex tape was released with full knowledge of He Who Dealt the Dirty Sanchez as a publicity stunt -- regardless of what the actor and comedian claims. Regardless, we'll keep you updated as more info is made available.

Melanie McFarland of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer brings us a long-awaited updates on the Dustin Diamond sex tape:

First, allow me to clarify why I referred to Saved by the Smell (gross) as "accidental porn," a phrase some have taken issue with.

In my opinion, if a person makes a dirty video and it stays in his home under lock and key, it's a dirty video. If he makes one and it leaks out into the public, it's accidental, and it's porn.

However, after reading these highlights, excerpted from a press release courtesy of the Headline News program Showbiz Tonight, I'm not sure what the public can call the Screech sex tape... other than disgusting.

Here's what the release said:

-- The sex tape got out because Diamond and some buddies have a "monthly gathering" wherein they exchange such tapes (emphasis mine) which earn points based on "what [we're] able to accomplish" on the tapes: "We do it almost like poker. [The tape] could have been left out in anybody's home, machine, computer."

[THG NOTE: What the f*&k is wrong with these people? And is former SBTB co-star Mario Lopez, a.k.a. A.C. Slater, one of the aforementioned buddies?]

-- "The people that are involved in this group [of friends who exchange tapes] are all 'profile people.'" Diamond doesn't believe any of those people leaked the tape, but perhaps a significant other of one of them did.

-- Diamond admits the tape has "caused turmoil on the home front."

[THG NOTE: That's a shocking revelation right there]

-- "We've been doing it for a while, and we didn't think it was a problem. Apparently, it is a problem."

-- Diamond's words for that sick bastard David Hans Schmidt, the man peddling the tape (also known as the "Sultan of Sleaze"): "You're a scumbag."

-- Diamond also says he will fight this "tooth and nail" to fight the distribution of the tape, and that while Schmidt may have won "the little battles, he won't win the war -- nice try, though!"

[THG NOTE: We're pulling for Screech. Bad. Believe it. Because if the tape gets out, we are going to be forced to watch it in order to tell you about it. Because we're T.H. Gossip. And there are things we would rather look at than Dustin Diamond giving some skank the Dirty Sanchez -- one such thing would be our awesome gallery of Kristin Cavallari pictures]

-- Diamond denies the rumor that he secretly knew about the tape's release and was hoping it would boost his career. He says the tape was "private" and not meant for anybody else. It was not released with his approval and he does not condone its being out there.

-- Will Diamond eventually cash in on this tape, if offered a distribution deal? Will he never have to worry about foreclosure again? "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."