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Well, not exactly. While Katie Holmes' Broadway debut was well received by critics and theater-goers, it wasn't a big hit with some of the angry peeps above.

Protesters outside the "All My Sons" production were out to express their displeasure with the cult, er, religion of Scientology and its best-known ambassador, Tom Cruise, who was personally on hand to watch his style-impaired wife do her thing.

Cameron and Tom

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He's a strange one, that Tom Cruise.

In never-before-seen footage posted Friday afternoon by Gawker online, Cruise reenacts an iconic scene from his 1983 hit Risky Business.

The undated video was taken at an extravagant, six-figure birthday bash thrown for Tom Cruise by the Church of Scientology.

Cameras show Cruise leaping out of the audience to sing and dance to "Old Time Rock and Roll." The husband of Katie Holmes (reportedly his fourth, but final option for the enviable job of wife) looks a bit manic in the process.

This is your brain on Scientology.

The father of adorable little Suri Cruise goes bonkers in the video would be an understatement akin to saying Britney Spears hates pants.

"Thank you!" he declares after his performance. "I don't know where I am... Thank you. This is the best birthday ever, ever, ever... and I mean EVER."

It must be seen to be fully appreciated.

Peep the video at The Gawker ...

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Whether this story about TomKat is true or completely made up (Britney Spears getting pregnant by Adnan Ghalib-style), it's not any less funny.

Ex-Scientologist, Marc Headley, is the latest to claim Katie Holmes was Tom Cruise's fourth choice as his wife and mother of his child.

Tom Cruise on Today

Before TomKat were created, Tom Cruise allegedly held a casting call for wives under the guise of a Mission: Impossible movie audition.

Headley says Tom told BFF and Scientology leader, David Miscavige, that he was having trouble finding babes, so the church sent out a casting call.

Scientologists Sofia Milos and Erika Christensen were apparently presented to him, but the discerning Cruise wanted bigger celebrities.

Tom Cruise shows off wife choice #4, Katie Holmes!

Headley said they went for Jennifer Garner, Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Alba, in that order... Jennifer and Jessica didn't accept this wonderful invite, but Scarlett Johansson took the bait and came in for an audition. Briefly.

When ScarJo arrived and found out it was the Scientology Center in Hollywood, of course, she freaked out and bolted without doing a tape.

Katie Holmes, it turns out was their fourth choice. Tom apparently said he knew she was the one right away when she showed up for her "audition."

Maybe he's a big Dawson's Creek fan. In any case, Katie was brainwashed ASAP, Suri Cruise was spawned a year later, and the rest is history.

Hey, John McCain was running fourth in some Republican polls in December, and the Giants' fourth receiver, David Tyree, became a Super Bowl hero as New York upset the evil Patriots of New England. So hold your head up high, Katie!

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Some people just beg for nine-figure lawsuits.

New assertions that Tom Cruise has risen to the second-in-command of the Church of Scientology and that some believe Suri Cruise is the product of a sperm donation from Scientology's late founder L. Ron Hubbard are among the bizarre claims author Andrew Morton makes in "Tom Cruise, An Unauthorized Biography."

Katie Holmes, Suri Cruise, Dolls

The book, set for publication in the U.S. on January 15, also claims Tom Cruise's next mission is to recruit David and Victoria Beckham into the church, and that the church threatened to blackmail Nicole Kidman by revealing graphic details of her sex life with Cruise if she spoke out about Scientology after their divorce.

According to the UK's Daily Mail, Morton says Cruise's staff is all scientologists vetted and hired by the church, and Scientology leader David Miscavige ordered staff to plant a field of wildflowers at a Scientology base after Cruise confided in him his fantasy to run through a field of flowers with Katie Holmes.

The new book also alleges that Scientology officials exert enormous influence over Tom Cruise's personal relationships and career decisions, and says that although it is not officially stated anywhere, Cruise is the de-facto second-in-command of the entire Church of Scientology, its #2 behind Miscavige.

But the most shocking claim in the book, according to the Daily Mail, is Morton's preposterous account of how little Suri Cruise, 20 months, was conceived.

Morton compares Suri Cruise's conception to the horror film Rosemary's Baby and claims that members of a "fanatical" sect of Scientologists known as "Sea Org." believe Katie Holmes was impregnated not by Cruise, but with a sperm donation from dead Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard.

Tom Cruise's longtime attorney, the Hollywood power lawyer Bert Fields, has vehemently denied the book's claims, calling it a "pack of lies."

"It's a boring, poorly researched book by a man who never talked to anyone involved in Tom Cruise's life or anyone close to him," Fields said.

Morton is best known for his 1992 expose about Princess Diana. His bio of Cruise is not being published in the United Kingdom, interestingly, due in part to the U.K.'s libel laws, which are considered stricter than U.S. laws.

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Suri Cruise is pumped up.

Look at her arms raised triumphantly on the latest cover of Us Weekly. What does she have to be happy about? The fact that her parents actually keep her shielded from the press a lot of the time (unlike, say, Jayden James)?

Katie and Suri Pic

Well, there's no question that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' adorable little daughter leads a charmed existence. But just how big a role does TomKat's controversial religion play in the life of Suri Cruise on a daily basis?

Suri Cruise - who was fed a mixture of barley water, milk and corn syrup instead of formula and breast milk - is too young for classes at the Scientology Centre, but the 18-month-old is constantly surrounded by believers, including her nannies.

Additionally, Katie Holmes, 29, and Tom Cruise, 45, reportedly have a hard time saying no to little Suri Cruise. But it's not simply because they're pushovers.

"It's all about being positive and supportive," says a friend. Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard advises parents to "try to be a child's friend." As for discipline, one former member tells Us that Scientologists do not scold their children, but rather explain that bad behavior is the "wrong action."

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, says their pal, are lenient and do not like to give Suri Cruise too many rules: "Suri pretty much does whatever she wants, whenever she wants. If she fusses before bed, they let her stay up later. If they want her to go swimming and she cries, they take her out. If she whines about food, they'll ask what else she wants to eat. They always want to please her."

In other words, they're pretty standard parents. Who would have guessed.

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Sure, Leah Remini hangs out with the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or Xenu, or Tom Cruise, or whatever the heck Scientology freaks worship as their deity.

That doesn't mean she expects BFF Jennifer Lopez to do the same.

A Simple Smile

In a new interview in People magazine, Leah Remini, the King of Queens star, reveals that while she's definitely committed to Scientology, she isn't trying to convert her best friend - or anybody else, for that matter.

"I read that I was trying to get Jennifer Lopez to do Scientology because it helps with fertility. I don't know what that's about. That's bull - that we're sitting there at the Polo Lounge talking about fertility. I think Jennifer knows how to get pregnant," Remini said.

"She's a fabulous girl. I'm fabulous to hang out with. But it's like, "What could these two have in common? She must be trying to convert her!" 

Lopez, who some say is trying to get pregnant, has been the subject of many cult Scientology rumors for some time as a result, but she and her sexy husband, Marc Anthony, have so far stuck to their Catholic ways.

Remini was one of the first TomKat friends to go public with the news that Suri Cruise was indeed real, back when that was, you know, in doubt.

Here's hoping she and J. Lo remain pals, Spaghetti Monster or not.

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When Tom Cruise lets his inner control freak get the best of him, there's one person Katie Holmes knows she can count on for a shoulder to cry on:

Victoria Beckham, Daughter

No, not little Asian baby Suri Cruise.

We're talking about BFF Victoria Beckham.

"Katie has been crying over the phone," an insider tells Us Weekly in its most recent cover story. "She is frustrated. [Tom Cruise] is denying her every single thing."

Once, Katie and Victoria, a.k.a. PoshKat, talked on the phone for four hours.

Victoria Beckham has seen how domineering Cruise can be first-hand.

A source close to the 44-year-old movie star tells Us that he is relentlessly trying to convince the former Spice Girl and her husband, soccer star David Beckham, to convert to his religion.

"Victoria is sick and tired of Tom being on her back about Scientology," says a source close to the Beckhams, who are relocating to L.A. soon.

"Victoria is an old-fashioned British woman who believes in God. She finds it quite rude that Tom is bugging her so much. Not too long ago, Tom left 18 messages in one hour to get them to join the church."

The source adds that Victoria and her giant boobs, which are set to star in a reality show debuting soon, has put her foot down to Tom's pressure.

"When she says no, she means no."

Just what Britney Spears says about drugs.

For what it's worth, Cruise's rep denies it, saying, "This is completely false. Tom does not and never has encouraged anyone to adopt Scientology."

Sure thing, babe. And Lauren Conrad has never made a bad dating decision. Sorry, LC. You know we love you - and that you're smart enough to admit mistakes and learn from them.

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Despite denials and protests, J.Lo is moving closer to Scientology.

Sources say that as recently as December, Jennifer Lopez and her husband, Marc Anthony, were taking professional business meetings at Scientology's Celebrity Center in Hollywood.

Jennifer Lopez Photograph

Anthony is said to have taken the "purification" course, a hopped-up sauna that the Cult Church of Scientology says "cures" all ills.

Lopez may have invested big buck$ her soul in the IRS-sanctioned religion thanks to infertility issues and difficulties in the couple's marriage.

What's clear is that Lopez and Anthony's sudden friendship with chief celebrity Scientology freak leader Tom Cruise is no accident. Other than belonging to the expensive, pay-as-you-go religion, Cruise and the Lopez-Anthonys would have nothing in common.

We're also told Lopez and Anthony entered Scientology with help from Angelo Pagan, the husband of King of Queens actress Leah Remini. Both Pagan and Remini have taken dozens of pricey courses in L. Ron Hubbard's creation.

This would also account as well for Remini's sudden entry into the Cruise inner circle, as witnessed by her appearance at Cruise's wedding with Katie Holmes outside Rome.

Scary stuff. Add to this group newly arrived U.K. celebs David Beckham and Victoria Beckham, and you've got a certifiable, star-studded collection of freaks.

Not to mention huge breasts, in the case of the latter.

Lopez confided in at least one friend that she "would do anything" to help her marriage. Sadly, among the couple's problems has been infertility. At 36 and with a strong desire to become a mother, J.Lo is growing impatient.

Through three marriages (Anthony, Cris Judd and Ojani Noa) and two other long-term, public relationships (Diddy and Ben Affleck), no knocking up of Jennifer has taken place - and that's a list of prospective baby daddies almost as long as the one Anna Nicole Smith was juggling!

Okay, not that long.

Scientology is notable for recruiting stars at low points in their careers or personal lives, preying on uncertainty, instability or just plain fear by promising to fix life issues. Looks like they just snared a big fish.

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Jennifer Lopez has jumped to the defense of TomKat's wedding â€" and religion.

"[The wedding] was a great celebration of their love," J. Lo told a Florida TV station. "It was good. It was beautiful."

Greeting Her Fans

The singer/actress raised eyebrows when at the star-studded nuptials in Italy â€" and started speculation that she's considering converting to Scientology, the religion embraced by Tom Cruise, as well as Lopez's friend, King of Queens star Leah Remini.

But Jennifer Lopez doesn't need the stars to show her the Scientology ropes: her father is a member, and she's irked that people ridicule the cult religion.

"I, myself, am Catholic," Lopez said. "My dad has been a Scientologist for 20 years. It's weird people want to paint it in a negative way."

Meanwhile, Victoria Beckham is telling pals she has no intention of joining Scientology, despite her close friendship with Cruise and Katie Holmes.

"There's no way I'd spend any money on that nonsense," she told a friend recently.

Says a friend of Posh's:

"It's laughable that there's even talk of her becoming a Scientologist. Just because people are friends doesn't mean they do everything they do. Scientology is an expensive religion; Victoria is too cheap to convert."

Not sure we buy the bit about it being pricey. This chick shops hard. But we definitely buy the bit about being nonsense - that's a given.

And even the $250M deal David Beckham signed with the L.A. Galaxy wouldn't be enough to ward off Xenu, the evil space emperor central to Scientology. Really.

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