Saved By The Bell Gossip

Sometimes a book deal is announced from some celebrity you forgot even existed, but quickly realize you can't live without.

This is the only possible reaction to news that Dustin Diamond, who starred as Samuel "Screech" Powers for 13 (!) years on Saved by the Bell, is going to publish a tell-all about the series called Behind the Bell.

According to Dustin Diamond's publisher, it promises to detail "sexual escapades among cast members, drug use, and hard core partying."

Dustin Diamond then and now.

Hysterical as it would be to read an account of Mario Lopez snorting coke off the naked body of Lark Voorhees during an all-night drug-fueled orgy, this book deal can be attributed to one factor and one factor alone:

Dustin Diamond needs cash.

Ever since getting foreclosed upon by the ban, he's gotten mugged, been on Celebrity Fit Club, done an I Can't Believe It's Not Butter ad, and of course railed two chicks in that sex tape a year and a half ago.

These are actions of a pathetic and desperate man. Not that we're complaining by any means. Keep it the good work, Dustin Diamond!

The captain of Hollywood's Junior Varsity Womanizing Team, Brody Jenner, may be annoying in that he does nothing except go clubbing, but it's hard to stay mad at him.

Even when he was friends with the loathesome Spencer Pratt, Kim Kardashian's step-brother has always seemed like a nice, friendly fellow. It's an image only enhanced by Brody's apparently willingness to help fallen TV stars out with a little extra cash!

While partying at Las Vegas' infamous PURE nightclub (a Spears family favorite) on Friday night, the young Jenner ran into - who else - Mr. Belding of Saved By the Bell fame - and presented him with a crisp $5 bill!

Brody: Meet my pal, Honest Abe! Don't spend it all in one place, Mr. B!

Mr. Belding, a.k.a. actor Dennis Haskins, shouldn't feel too bad - taking handouts from Hollywood brats like Brody Jenner may be humbling, but it could be worse.

After all, at least he's not picking up drunk skanks, taking them home and filming himself giving them the Dirty Sanchez in a hot tub, if you know what we're talkin' 'bout.

We're talking about the Dustin Diamond sex tape.

Mr. Belding would never have approved of these pictures.

But Tiffani Thiessen is all grown up now. She doesn't need approval from a fake high school prinicpal - or even the middle name "Amber" - to pose in her underwear these days.

Nevertheless, fans of Saved by the Bell may wish to look away. This includes you, Mario Lopez. It's a bit disturbing to see a girl you watched grow up embrace her new status as a serious sex symbol. Good thing Mario has Karina Smirnoff to distract him now.

Thiessen actually has ties to a current Dancing with the Stars contestant, as well.

Her character locked lips with that of Ian Ziering back when he portrayed Steve Sanders. Too bad Steve never got past first base, though.

As these pics prove, it would've been a lot of fun. No doubt Dustin Diamond is thinking about it right now. The guy made a freaking sex tape!

It's come down to this. A lifetime of blood, sweat, tears and pranks on Mr. Belding have taken Mario Lopez to the top of the dancing world. Almost.

First, Slater has to conquer NFL legend Emmitt Smith in the finale of Dancing with the Stars tonight.

Friends of A.C from Bayside High recently commented on their fellow alum's chances of doing so:

Jesse Spano: I'm so excited for Slater! I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so ... scared.

Zach Morris: Slater's been training for this the last 15 years. After our fight first day of senior year, he said his one regret was that I wasn't Emmitt Smith.

Now, I understand why.

Screech Powers: Slater winning will be the best thing that happened to our high school class since my sex tape was released.

Not that I had anything to do with that. I've never even met David Hans Schmidt.

Lisa Turtle: Do you like my new top? It's from the Justin Timberlake clothing line.

Anyway, I think Smith will win. But that's just one token black girl's support for a brother.

Kelly Kapowski: I was really hot before gaining a few pounds during Beverly Hills, 90210 and then falling off the face of the eart. Gooooo, Slater!

Mr. Belding: Mrs. B and I love watching that Karina Smirnoff.

Dustin Diamond, a.k.a. Screech Powers, told a Tampa radio station that a woman tried to mug him in his hotel in Omaha, Neb., on Monday.

Really. We are not making this up. Go to TMZ and look... and listen to the clip of him talking about it. Who mugs Screech?

Diamond, the former Saved By the Bell star and comedian who has been battling to save his Wisconsin house from foreclosure, was on the MJ Morning Show on 93.3 WFLZ this morning, detailing the incident.

According to his account, a woman, armed with mace, busted into his hotel room and apparently was only able get away with some PSP games, which Diamond was able to recover. He was able, at one point, to pin the woman with the hotel door, prompting her to cry out rape.

Not sure what's funnier here -- the fact that Dustin Diamond was mugged (by a chick, no less), or that we already had Dustin Diamond news up on our site to link back to.

A.C. Slater? Rolling in his grave right now.

Former Saved By The Bell star and current standup comedian Dustin Diamond is having a rough go of it, and not just because Lisa Turtle won't reciprocate his undying affections.

The 29-year old actor, who will forever be synonymous with his Bell character, Screech Powers, needs to raise $250,000 in the next 30 days to save his house from foreclosure.

Diamond bought a gray, two-story house in Port Washington, Wisconsin, upon the conclusion of Bell and its many spinoffs, in which he also starred. The foreclosure order was filed against him last month, as he has been unable to settle a land contract dispute with his New York-based lender.

To keep his house, Diamond is trying to sell nearly t-shirts at $15-20 a pop to keep the property. The front of the shirts read "Save My House" and "I paid $15 to save Screech's house" is printed on the back. For an extra $5, you can get an autographed version, in which Diamond will sign his name and tell his lender adversary that he can [expletive] himself.

He recently made an appearance on Howard Stern's radio show to plead his case.

While it would be fitting for Zack Morris to appear out of nowhere and admit he staged all of this as one of his elaborate practical jokes, Diamond is clearly having his bell rung (pun very much intended) in reality. Poor guy. Hopefully he can sell enough shirts. Failing that, perhaps former co-star and future Dancing With The Stars participant Mario Lopez can bail him out.

Or, in a last-ditch effort, he could always go the Elizabeth Berkeley route, if you know what we're talking about. We're talking about appearing in an NC-17 flick about strippers.