Roseanne Barr
Gossip

Apparently Roseanne Barr is still alive. And she is not a fan of Brangelina.

The former sitcom star went on an odd rant via her website this weekend, taking Angelina Jolie to task for saying she was unsure who to cast her vote for in the upcoming presidential election.

"Your evil spawn Angelina Jolie and her vacuous hubby Brad Pitt make about $40 million a year in violent, psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children, trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more," Roseanne wrote.

From there, Rosanne attacked the Wanted star for recently saying she's undecided John McCain or Barack Obama.

Are you on Team Roseanne or Team Angelina?

"Miss Jolie says she likes [John] McCain too and hasn't decided who to endorse....huh? Aren't you supposed to be somewhat enlightened, or do you not know that the African daughter you hold in every picture had parents who suffered and died because of the Republican party's worldwide economic assault on Africa over the last few decades since Reagan?"

Look, we think Obama is an obvious choice for a country in need of a new, non-senile direction, too.

But we're pretty sure people are allowed to voice their concerns about candidates, while gathering as much information about each before casting their vote, without a washed-up comedian calling them out in public.

Roseanne concludes her blog by writing that "it might be good for your Asian and African children's self-esteem to know you support" Barack Obama, a man of color, "for the leader of the free world."

It might be good for you, Roseanne, to realize that you haven't been relevant in over a decade.

The View is in need of a new, overweight, opinionated host.

First, there was Star Jones. But she was fired for being really, really obnoxious.

Next, the ABC talk show called on Rosie O'Donnell. But she won't be returning to a contract dispute that wasn't helped by her accusation that America blew up the Twin Towers.

So now Barbara Walters, Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Joy Behar need a fresh, plump co-host to fill the role of controversy-maker.

Enter Roseanne Barr. No, seriously.

Despite having not been in the celebrity gossip spotlight in a decade, the former sitcom star is somehow the leading candidate to replace Rosie. Also in the running - but far too thin, we assume - are Joan Rivers, Whoopi Goldberg, Kathy Griffin and Kathie Lee Gifford.

Yes, evidently "more annoying than Perez Hilton" is also a qualification to host The View.

We'll keep you updated about this pressing situation. In the meantime, Kate Bosworth continues to pack on the pounds in an effort to be considered for the job.