by Hilton Hater at . Comments

With apologies to Anchorman, brawls between rival news teams are not the only things that can escalate quickly.

Sometimes you're chatting with a guy online... and all appears to be relatively normal... and then, BOOM! He hits you with a very personal question, typically related to one of your private parts.

Such is the theme of Straight White Boys Texting, a Tumblr dedicated to overly anxious men on the Internet.

This totally classy (and very effective!) phenomenon is not reserved for straight white boys, of course. It's safe to assume the following failed attempts at online seduction were perpetrated by those across all ages and backgrounds.

Have you been victimized, female readers? Take comfort below in at least realizing that you aren't alone:

In other Failed Text Message news:

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

There is a disturbing new trend making its way around the wedding world.

No, not the use of golden toilets. Not unless you happen to be Kim Kardashian and Kanye West at least.

We speak, instead, of the bride and her closet friends posing for their official wedding portrait(s) by hiking up their fancy dresses and exposing ample parts of their rear ends.

Don't believe this is actually happening around the globe? Brace yourself for the dirty truth in the following photo gallery...

Flashing Bridal Party
This bride and her friends are saying cheese in this cheeky wedding pics. We're saying: PUT IT AWAY!

Why has this become the cool thing to do? We have no idea.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Breaking up is never easy.

Especially when you fail to heed the importance of Spellcheck.

But splitting with your significant other can be hilarious, as these text messages prove.

It can also be a way to test your creativity, whether you choose to break your loved one's heart into a million piece via a poem, a box of pizza or some of his/her favorite song lyrics.

So sit back, consider the following options once you've made up your mind to end it and remember: food is the best way into a guy's heart... and also out of it.

A Delicious Dumping
On one hand, you're now single. On the other... you don't need to share!

by Tattle Taylor at . Comments

Everywhere we turn these days, we're bombarded with ads for how to get a guy or girl to like us. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend is the ultimate task.

After all, we all want to end up living out our very own fairy tale like Kim Kardashian and Kanye, right? Or like Prince William and Kate Middleton?

Yeah, let's go with that one, since it was actually a fairy tale and not just an excessive display of, well, everything. But enough about Kimye. Anyway:

We dream of walking on the beach with somebody who loves us, or curling up like Blake Lively to Ryan Gosling to talk about whatever it is those two talk about.

But with relationships, of course, come all sorts of messy restrictions.

You're not just thinking about yourself! You have to take someone else's feelings into consideration before you decide whether to have frozen pizza or takeout!

As it turns out, there are actually quite a few things better than having a significant other in your life, at least part of the time. Here are nine of them:

Netflix
Did you know Orange is the New Black Season 2 is out? Without a partner, you don't have to feel guilty for bingewatching on Netflix.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Well... this is different.

We thought we'd seen every proposal there was to see when this guy made his girlfriend think she was gonna die in a plane crash.

But then Samantha Warner posted a video this month of her marriage proposal, which took place courtesy of help from a baby alligator at the Gatorland Zoo.

Some might consider this a dangerously scary move... but credit Warner's beau for knowing his bride-to-be.

In the video description Samantha says, this is “the sweetest marriage proposal I've ever seen and the greatest day of my life.”

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Whatever you think of their large family, their TV show or their religious and political views, you have to hand it to Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar on marriage.

After 30 years and 19 kids, they are happier and more in love than ever.

Process that statement for a second as we ponder if it has ever been stated before, or whether it's true of many couples with a fraction of their brood.

Once you have, say, six children, how on earth do you find the energy and motivation to make kids 7-19, let alone make time for each other?

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar recently spoke with Today about nurturing their relationship, keeping the sexual sparks alive and other secrets to their lasting love.

Here are 7 tips the Duggars say are key to their happy marriage ...

Say yes to sex, even when you're tired!

Be available. Anyone can fix him lunch, but only one person can meet that physical need of love that he has, and you always need to be available when he calls. - Michelle Duggar

Be available. Anyone can fix him lunch, but only one person can meet that physical need of love that he has, and you always need to be...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Bill Murray has once again found himself in an unexpected, celebratory location.

Not long after the actor crashed a bachelor party and handed out some advice to friends of the soon-to-be groom, Murray ended up in Charleston, South Carolina.

Ashley Donald and fiancé Erik Rogers were also in that city, posing for their official engagement portraits with Raheel Gauba of Fia Forever Photography.

Next thing Gauba knew, she tells The Huffington Post, Ashley and Erik were looking away from the camera because, well…

"As I turned around to potentially ask the person distracting them to give us a moment, I see Bill Murray with his shirt up, belly out and patting it, his attempt to make the couple laugh," Gauba explains.

So Raheel invited Murray to join the couple for a snapshot and the rest (below) is Internet history...

Bill Murray Photobombs Engagement Pic

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

If the Internet has taught us anything, it's that the Kim Kardashian sex tape continues to sell.

Also: that men have nearly exhausted the romantic, surprising ways in which to propose.

We mean... this person faked a fire drill. This dudes faked his own death! What is there left for a boyfriend to do?

Fake a plane crash, apparently, which is what the guy at the center of the following video actually did to his petrified girlfriend.

How did she react? How did he pull off this stunt? Watch, find out and try to decide: Sweet... or utterly insane?

NOTE: We know this video is from 2012. But love is timeless, right?

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We've all been there, man.

You're out with your wife and she just keeps shopping... and keeps shopping... and keeps shopping... and... you get the idea.

It feels the experience will never end, like you'll never get home to watch that big sporting event and that's when inspiration strikes!

You're inside a Michaels Craft Store, so there must be some way you can creatively send out an S.O.S. and hopefully make it back home by the fourth quarter.

At least that's basically what one dude was thinking, based on the following image posted to Imgur:

HELP ME!

This unnamed husband is not alone, of course.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Jesse Cottle and his wife Kelly recently posted what they believed to be an everyday photo of themselves to Facebook:

The San Diego residents were posing with family members for some beach-based pictures when Cottle took off off his prosthetic legs and jumped on Kelly's back so she could carry him in to the water.

Jesse, a former Marine, lost both his legs after stepping on an IED in Afghanistan in 2009 and this is a simply how he has to move around sometimes.

He and Kelly met while he was recovering and they got married last year.

Wife Carries Double Handicapped Husband

And they thought little of the above image when putting it online... only to watch the hits and comments continue to climb on an hourly basis.

"Everything just kept skyrocketing," Jesse told 10 News of the social media reaction. "And we were just astounded."

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