by Hilton Hater at

You can't help but laugh when reading through this collection of 19 Motherly Text Message Fails. Parents trying to be hip is simply hilarious.

But it's difficult to browse around the following gallery without feeling a twinge of sadness.

Somewhere out there, some guy wanted to have virtual sex with his girlfriend... only to be turned down for Pop Tarts or Oreo Cereal. Your heart just goes out to these people.

Except for the dude whose significant other replied to his attempt at sexting with the picture of a cheese grater. He should just run away screaming.

Prepare to scream in laughter yourself when you click through this list of epic sext message fails:

11 Epic Sext Message Fails
Sometimes you're in the mood for Pop Tarts instead of a pounding. Can you really blame a woman?
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Mmm... Pop Tarts.

1. Mmm... Pop Tarts.

Sometimes you're in the mood for Pop Tarts instead of a pounding. Can you really blame a woman?


Spacing Issues

2. Spacing Issues

A little space, and a little spelling, can go a long way when trying to be seductive.


Emotion Fail!

3. Emotion Fail!

When swallowing goes terribly, terribly wrong.


Satisfy Her Craving

4. Satisfy Her Craving

What's better than a Pop Tart? Oreo Cereal.


A Little Too Rough

5. A Little Too Rough

Some gals do like it rough. But most have their limits.


A Monster in Bed

6. A Monster in Bed

Some folks like Skinemax. Others? Pixar.


Being (Semi) Naughty

7. Being (Semi) Naughty

A bit of PG-13 sexy talk.


Patriotism vs. Patootie-ism

8. Patriotism vs. Patootie-ism

God bless America... and also this person for his sexting snafu.


The End of an Erection

9. The End of an Erection

Safe to say this is one way to put a fast end to an erection.


Heating Things Up

10. Heating Things Up

Come on. This kind of creativty would totally turn us on!


You Tell Her, Grandma!

11. You Tell Her, Grandma!

This will teach an autobot to try and sext up an old lady.


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by Hilton Hater at

If we were on the receiving end of the following text messages, we'd likely be broken-hearted.

But good news, readers: we were not!

So, instead crying tears of sadness over a relationship coming to an end, we can all shed tears of hilarity of how these relationships came to an end.

One concluded via poem; another via a reference to Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber; and a couple over some really embarrassing mix-ups.

Sit back, scroll through these awkward texts now and be thankful you didn't open your phone to any of them...

9 Heart-Breakingly Hilarious Breakup Texts
If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try to break that heart again.
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Take the Hint!

1. Take the Hint!

If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try to break that heart again.


At Least It Was Mutual

2. At Least It Was Mutual

See, it really is possible to have a mutual breakup.


Happening for a Reason

3. Happening for a Reason

Some things really do happen for a reason. Like a couple who discusses major life issues over text message not making it.


Welcome to Dumpsville

4. Welcome to Dumpsville

We choose to believe this text is real. Because it's downright hilarious!


Ex Games

5. Ex Games

We really hope this guy got back together with this girl after this exchange.


SmartphOWNED!

6. SmartphOWNED!

Roses are red, violets are blue... this person needs to work on her rhyme scheme.


Breakup Mixup

7. Breakup Mixup

I'm not dumped? Yes! Wait a minute...


This... Is... Awkward

8. This... Is... Awkward

What's worse than being told your wife wants a divorce? Well...


A Hairy Situation

9. A Hairy Situation

Yes, it's your hair. What else could it be?!?


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by Free Britney at

Apparently things are getting so rough for Selena Gomez these days that friends worry about her "toxic" addictions and want to stage an intervention ASAP.

Her drug of choice? Justin Bieber, obviously.

The couple just can't stay away from each other, even if they'd be better off apart, and Selena's friends are growing increasingly worried about her lately.

Given his track record, one can see why.

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber Instagram

"Their relationship is as toxic as possible," says one Jelena insider. "They love each other, then they hate each other, then Justin hooks up with other girls."

Sounds about right. Another Gomez friend adds:

"They’ve talked about staging an intervention to get her away from him but [worry] it would only push her closer to him. Until he screws up again there’s not much anyone can do."

Fortunately, that should be what, any day now?

In any case, it sounds like someone needs to kick this habit and in desperate need of relationship rehab ... which she tried before, off course, and it didn't take.

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by Hilton Hater at

Do not text and drive.

Before he became a terrible human being, Justin Bieber even filmed a PSA warning against this act.

But now someone may need to make one that tells brides not to text and wed.

A video from 2011 of someone doing just this is making the viral rounds once again, with many questioning whether the action actually took place because it's just so hard to believe.

But these nuptials certainly look real, don't they? And this would be quite a random, brief,  overly simple prank to pull on the Internet, wouldn't it?

Also, sadly, in this day and age... is a bride checking her cell phone while she gets married really so hard to believe?

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by Free Britney at

Any guy out there looking to date one of the Duggar family girls may need to lower his expectations as far as physical contact and affection concerned.

To say there won't be much is an understatement.

On the season premiere of TLC's 19 Kids and Counting this week, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar laid out the rules of courtship for their 19 children.

With two of the older kids, 20-year-old Jessa (pictured) and 22-year-old Jill, starting relationships with prospective mates, there was no time like the present.

"As far as our kids dating, we believe a lot of times if you're alone with the person, it can create desires that can kind of get stirred up," Jim Bob said.

"You don't have any accountability, and [that] can kind of lead to some hanky panky," he feels, and suffice it to say, "hanky panky" is a big no-no.

"Courtship is really about getting to know each other for the purpose of possibly getting engaged and getting married," the Arkansas father of 19 said.

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by Tyler Johnson at

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin might be making us sick with their snooty talk about "conscious uncoupling," but it turns out the famous couple may be involved in a down-and-dirty divorce, just like how us peasants do it.

  • Gwyneth Paltrow Red Carpet Image
  • Chris Martin Image

Sources close to the couple tell TMZ that Chris and Gwyneth are indeed splitting amicably, but not for the reasons they've claimed.

Turns out the couple is terrified of having its dirty laundry aired in public and both parties are worried that if they fight over money or custody court documents could end up in the tabloids.

So what kind of secrets are they concealing? Well, for starters, Gwyneth's affair with Donovan Leitch and Chris' relationship with Alexa Chung are still just the subject of rumor and could seriously damage the couples' reputations if the affairs were confirmed in court.

We can only guess as to what else the Martin-Paltrows could be hiding, because Gwinnie is notoriously protective of her public image and will likely stop at nothing to keep her ugly side as private as possible.

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by Tyler Johnson at

Michelle Rodriguez and Cara Delevigne have been in a relationship since January and it seems things are still heating up between the two, if photos from their recent Mexican vacay are any indication.

Cara and Michelle seldom took their hands off each other as they cavorted on the beach and hotel balcony. Cara's Wiz Khalifa weed leaf t-shirt was just about the most clothing either of the ladies wore all weekend.

Michelle is 35 and supermodel Cara just 21, but the age difference doesn't seem to be causing any problems as the new couple is laughing or lip-locked in pretty much every photo we've seen.

At the moment it seems like these two are crazy for each other, but naturally, time will tell if Michelle and Cara's relationship is the real deal or just a short-term infatuation.

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by Tyler Johnson at

As you've likely heard by now, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are divorcing, but prefer to use terms like "conscious uncoupling," because, well, they're obnoxious.

Gwyneth Paltrow and Cameron Diaz Photo

While the rest of us may find Chris and Gwyneth's pretentiousness completely nauseating, they have at least one celeb defending their actions.

Cameron Diaz told Extra recently that she's "proud" of her bestie's breakup, adding that she loves the douchey terminology that Gwyneth's been using to describe the split.

"People go separate ways in other aspects of their life and I think it's really brave of them to phrase it that way," Cameron said.

"Leaving as a couple and deciding to stay together as parents and friends - I think it's beautiful."

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by Tyler Johnson at

She may tend to go for bad boys (her ex Chris Brown is in jail at the moment), but if anyone can get Rihanna to change her ways and settle down it's Harry Styles. And according to friends, that's just what the One Direction star intends to do.

Following his failed romance with Kendall Jenner (and Taylor Swift, and probably numerous other young starlets), Harry has set his sites on the troubled RiRi say sources close to his band.

"The girl he would like to get with is definitely Rihanna," says the source. "He always had a a thing for her, but they don't really know each other. But who knows what could happen in the future."

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by Tyler Johnson at

Katy Perry sure knows how to pick 'em! Right on the heels of her highly-publicized breakup with John Mayer, the singer is reportedly dating Riff Raff.

Yes, dreadlocked white rapper Riff Raff.

Riff Raff and Katy Perry Photo

If you've never heard of Riff Raff, you're not alone.

He's best known as the possible inspiration for James Franco's similarly styled character in the movie Spring Breakers. The rapper even sued the film's producers for using his likeness without permission.

Going forward, however, it seems Riff - real name Horst Christian Simco - will be best known as Katy Perry's rebound guy.

The famous pair went public far sooner than most celebrity couples, with Katy posting a pic to Instagram and Riff Raff later confirming that their hang session was an official date.

"We went on a date, it was fun," Mr. Raff revealed to TMZ. "It was Skrillex's party so we went out and had some sushi, went bowling and then had a few drinks or whatever. Just chilled."

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