Reality TV

Sayonara, Ev & Ocho. Chad Johnson and Evelyn Lozada's upcoming reality show has been cancelled by VH1 in the wake of Chad's arrest for domestic violence.

The Basketball Wives spinoff was set to debut September 3.

But now, after Chad was arrested for head-butting Evelyn Lozada, even VH1 proved it has some standards, yanking Ev & Ocho from its schedule immediately.

Hope that text isn't from Chad's side piece.

The network said in a statement Monday: "Due to unfortunate events over the weekend and the seriousness of the allegations, VH1 is pulling the series 'Ev and Ocho' from its schedule and has no current plans of airing it."

The show was to follow the couple's relationship from dating to engagement, but after the condom-inspired argument, we'll never get to see the magic.

VH1 billed it as "the journey of a charismatic and passionate couple's every step, as they prepare to walk down the aisle and into each other's hearts forever."

Or into Broward County Jail as it turned out.

Johnson, who changed his surname back from Ochocinco this summer, was also released by the Dolphins already, making him all kinds of unemployed.

[Photo: WENN.com]

So... did you watch?

TLC debuted Here Comes Honey Boo Boo last night, a reality show dedicated to six-year old pageant contestant Alana Thompson and her - how should we say it? - eccentric family.

Honey Boo Boo Child: Behind the Scenes

Speaking to CNN prior to the premiere, mother June offered viewers a preview of what to expect the rest of the summer and into the fall.

"We do a lot of mud bogging, four-wheel riding, going to community events... I think America will get the gist of who we actually are."

And if Americans have an issue with who the Thompsons are or what they do, which includes eating road kill for dinner?

"People are going to talk, good and bad, and it is what it is," she said. "My family, we enjoy what we've done and I would do it again."

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TLC is about to prove the Mayans right. Because Here Comes Honey Boo Boo premieres on August 8.

The reality show is a spinoff of Toddlers & Tiaras and it stars the six-year old named Alana Thompson who has come to be known as "Honey Boo Boo."

It will also star Thompson's her 12-year-old sister Pumpkin... and her 17-year-old pregnant sister Chickadee... and her 15-year-old sister Chubbs... and her 40-year-old daddy Sugar Bear.

Somewhere, though, even Sarah Palin is shaking her head at how ridiculous these names are. Watch an extended trailer for this madness now and then go hide under your bed. The world may come to an end any day now...

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Trailer

Courtney Stodden is 17 and husband Doug Hutchison is 52. Clearly, these two are in need of couples therapy.

Instead, they have signed up for Couples Therapy.

TMZ confirms that the attention-starved duo will appear on the new season of this VH1 reality show, as the two have supposedly admitted there are "obvious problems in their relationship because of their age difference and the notoriety they've gotten because of their relationship."

Translation: we couldn't get our own reality show.

Courtney and Doug will join four other pairings - including Alex McCord and Simon Van Kempen - on a series that pretends to provide actual advice for the suffering couples featuring on it. Filming on the new season is already underway.

Will you tune in? Or, better question: How much would you pay to never have to tune in?

[Photo: WENN.com]

The cast of A&E's reality show Cajun Justice is dealing with a new sheriff in town ... one apparently bent on not having his team featured on a reality show.

The show follows Sheriff Vernon Bourgeois and his deputies as they fight crime in the swamps of Louisiana. Or at least it did until they got a new boss.

The Terrabone Sheriff's Dept. confirms that new sheriff Jerry Larpenter fired 24 people on DAY ONE ... including five of seven people featured on the show.

A sixth cast member quit to support his fellow comrades.

What's more, not only did the new Sheriff pink slip to most of the cast, but as of July 1, he banned A&E producers from following anyone in his department.

Probably wants to "focus on criminal justice" or some absurd notion.

It's unclear if A&E will nix the show completely or attempt find a new department to work with, but for better or worse, Larpenter's crew won't be on it.

Season 1 will finish as planned; beyond that, it's unclear.

Kate Gosselin is shopping around a new reality show about her search for fame love, and ABC's Jimmy Kimmel already has the perfect hook for it.

Think The Bachelorette meets Deadliest Catch.

What happens when you take 12 men, have Sarah Palin shoot them with tranquilizers and release them onto an island for Kate and her kids to hunt them like wild animals, with the last victim standing forced into a lifetime of wedded bliss suffering?

The promo for Escape From Gosselin Island!

Escape From Gosselin Island

The title and premise of Kimmel's parody above are pretty much 100 percent accurate, but what would you name a Kate Gosselin reality show?

The final set of 48 original contestants performed on America's Got Talent last night. How did your favorite fare?

David "The Bullet" Smith - I don't understand why David even has to wear a helmet; if things go awry, I doubt it would help things. His act was pre-taped, since it would have been much darker if it was actually 8 p.m. The setup took too long with the cheerleaders, but I credit him for trying to fill 90 seconds. He shot correctly, albeit a little further than the middle of the net.
Grade: B+

All That! - No one is going to remind us that All That (without the exclamation point) has auditioned before and has lost. One of the members used the word "fight scene" and I was cautious. The group looked like the United Colors of Benetton (or an A capella group). Sure they were clean and their formations were great, up until the fight scene. If the group wanted to show masculinity, the fight scene looked gay.
Grade: B

Ulysses - Ulysses lost all his hair, so he got a wig. He was smart enough to get backup dancers, similar to Big Barry. His version of "Bandstand Boogie" was decent; the dancers were decent. Occasionally Ulysses had breathing issues, but I thought he didn't deserve to be X-ed out. He wasn't like Big Barry who was off-key.
Grade: C+

Joe Castillo - Joe had a great story about how his father influenced him. Joe started with the Earth and I was happy to see the use of colors to emphasize each of his animals he made. Anyone who draws pandas also gets extra credit. I love that he uses both hands to draw.
Grade: A-

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Alex McCord and Simon Van Kempen are about to enter Couples Therapy. Not for real, of course. For VH1.

Sources confirm to The Huffington Post that these former Real Housewives of New York City stars will soon embark on another reality TV project with that network. Filming is already underway, with crews following Alex and Simon around the streets of The Big Apple.

McCord, Jill Zarin, Kelly Bensimon and Cindy Barshop all got the axe from Bravo last year, with Alex the first to re-enter the world of television.

She and Simon are expected to dish on their time as cast members during this new series, while also sharing details of their lives post-Housewives. We just REALLY hope we don't hear any more about Van Kempen climaxing during child birth.

America's Got Talent started off strong this week… then immediately disappointed. Until the second hour, there was only one standout performance, although at least we ended on a high note.

Come along now and see if you agree with the grades we handed out:

The Untouchables - Miami All-Stars Jr. had the advantage of being choreographed by a strong teacher that understood NBC's production values. The background did a huge disservice for the dancers because it created visual chaos. There were tons of visuals going on that a solid background would have helped. I liked the use of levels and the amount of tricks. It was smart to keep only a handful of dancers front and center to prevent even more chaos.
Grade: A-

"Rock Star Juggler" Mike Price - I don't think there is such a thing as a "rock star juggler," even though Mike's talented. He upped his game with the cheesy unicycle. The knives then went into fire clubs which he sucked at while he was on the unicycle. He then proceeded to drop a club. The next sequence involved him jugging over a girl, but with his wide stance you knew he wouldn't drop anything.
Grade: B-

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CBS has announced most of the Big Brother Season 14 cast members, along with a twist:

Along with 12 brand new players, the voyeuristic reality show will also bring back a quartet of former contestants, all of whom are playing for their own, separate prize.

Executive producer Allison Grodner teases this as a "game within the game" and says the identities of the "fan favorites and winners" will be revealed at a later date.

As for the newbie? The cast includes a former Playmate, the brother of a notorious Survivor castaway, a nurse and a chef. Read on for more details, as Big Brother returns on July 12.

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