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After a tumultuous season of Teen Mom, the fab four headed to L.A. for their obligatory MTV reunion special slash therapy session with Dr. Drew Pinsky.

He did not mince words.

Farrah Abraham in particular got an earful from Drew after crying about her cruel fate, missing out on her teenage years because she had a baby, etc.

Farrah and Sophia Photo

I love you so much!!!! Okay, later!

While Farrah ditched Sophia with her parents to go "found herself" in Florida, she used this opportunity to tell everyone she'd changed her mind! Maybe!

Farrah doesn't know if it's in Sophia's best interest to be cared for by her personally or her grandparents in Iowa. She's also, like, so lonely in Florida!

Dr. Drew finally had to shut down the pity party, which has been building all summer and apparently didn't end with last week's Teen Mom season finale.

Telling Farrah to "add it up," the doc said, first off, to stop sniveling: "You have to let go of the fantasies of childhood," he said. "It's time to let go."

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An injured Chaz Bono was treading on thin ice ... and inflamed knees.

He and partner Lacey Schwimmer ended up with the lowest score of the week Monday - 17 points - for their quickstep, which the judges all agreed was too slow.

When the audience's votes were factored in along with the scores, did the show's first transgender contestant get the boot Tuesday night on the results show?

  • Chaz Bono and Lacey Schwimmer
  • Elisabetta Canalis and Valentin Chmerkovskiy
  • David Arquette and Kym Johnson

Chaz was in the bottom three as America cast votes following Monday's performances, along with (drum roll please) ... Elisabetta Canalis and David Arquette.

Arquette and Bono? Not a big shocker right there.

Canalis joining them was a bit of a surprise, given her improvement this week. But that's DWTS for you. So who got the axe when the results were unveiled?

Follow the jump to find out ...

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Likely billed by Donald Trump as THE BEST hiring in the history of reality television, Teresa Giudice has been cast on the new season of Celebrity Apprentice.

Teresa on TV

The Real Housewives of New Jersey star will compete against a slew of other Z-listers and donate any winnings she earns from the show to charity, a fact someone might not have relayed to Teresa.

She isn't the first individual from this nauseating franchise to be cast on the NBC competition, either. NeNe Leakes made many headlines last season for clashing frequently with Star Jones.

The new season of Celebrity Apprentice will likely premiere in early 2012. WE won't be watching.

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The mean girls came out to play on the The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Monday night. THG examines all the cattiness in our weekly +/- recap!

We start off with Adrienne and Paul still waiting on Kim. Minus 5. The plane is on the runway and everyone is waiting but still no Kim. When she finally arrives she looks exactly how Paul suspected... intoxicated. Of course no one can say for sure but if this is Kim's behavior sober, that's just pretty darn scary.

Kim Richards Image

Kim took an awfully long time to take her sunglasses off. Was it simply that she wasn't happy with her makeup? As her story goes, her power went out and she had to go to a neighbor's house to apply it before she could leave for the airport.

When they finally arrives at the game Kim just won't shut up. Plus 8 for the look on Adrienne's face as Taylor blathers on and for Paul who just tells her to be quiet and watch the game. Somehow Kim doesn't strike me as a big sports fan.

Then we cut to Taylor who has run to Kyle to complain about an article in the paper about her and Russell's disintegrating marriage. Kyle asks where they could have gotten such information. Umm.  Ladies, look up. Do you see those cameras following you around. Your personal lives are now public fodder and in case you've forgotten, you signed up for this. Minus 15 for being oblivious to the obvious.

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On last week's Dancing With the Stars premiere, Chaz Bono stole the show, while Chynna Phillips and J.R. Martinez tied for first place after strong waltzes.

Who ended up in first this week? Did Chaz continue his decent, if not stellar dance moves? Who's in danger of following Metta World Peace out the door?

We have a new leader after Monday, and while it's none of the aforementioned three cast members, it's someone we considered a favorite going in ...

Ricki Lake, Derek Hough Picture

Derek Hough guided Ricki Lake right to the top of the leaderboard with a 23 Monday night, even though Len groused about wanting more jive content.

Just behind the Lake show was J.R., jumpin' and jivin' his way to a 22. Chynna stumbled a little and ended up two points back of the lead this week.

Also taking a step back was Hope Solo, whose timing and footwork were way off, and David Arquette, who ... we don't even know what that was.

As far as exceeding expectations, Rob Kardashian fared better with Cheryl Burke's take on the jive. So much so that he won a critical distinction:

"It's official!" hooted a happy Carrie Ann Inaba from the judges' panel. "Rob Kardashian is a better dancer than Kim Kardashian! No offense Kim!"

Not saying much, but hey. Baby steps.

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The life and times of seven soap opera stars are chronicled on the latest E! reality show, Dirty Soap. Among them? General Hospital's troubled Kirsten Storms.

Storms' first taste of fame came as Zenon in Disney’s franchise Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century. She moves on to 7th Heaven, That’s So Raven and Clubhouse.

She then went on to star as Belle Black on Days of our Lives before assuming the role of Maxie Jones on General Hospital ... and running into some problems.

Here's an E! promo featuring a THG report on Storms' DUI arrest:

On the premiere, Kirsten tried to figure out drama with her family, and why her relationship with BFF and One Life to Live star Farah Fath went so wrong.

Fortunately, her General Hospital co-star Kelly Monaco was there to help her through it. And look through a bunch of Kelly’s creepy fan mail. Woo hoo.

Elsewhere on the Dirty Soap premiere, Brandon Beemer finds Nadia Bjorlin getting her last Days of our Lives script. He teases her less-than-exciting exit.

Farah meets up with Nadia, her Days of our Lives co-star. The friends dish and chat about what crazy things happened with their characters as they shop.

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New state, bigger family, same drama baby. On the Season 3 premiere of Sister Wives, Kody Brown and his many spouses settled in Las Vegas, Nevada.

In four different homes, all close to each other.

The biggest development since we last heard from the giant family is that Kody and Robyn are expecting. That leads to complications with the other wives, of course, such as the jealousy from Robyn's BFF Meri, who can't bear more kids.

Sister Wives Cast

Robyn approached her about it personally, however, and Meri showed her true colors like the classy lady that she is. She even lamented in her response that people feel they have to be so sensitive to her regarding the child-bearing topic.

Everybody in the family was pretty psyched about the news, save for teenagers Aspen, Hunter and Maddie. You know teenagers, though. Always brooding.

Since Robyn's three kids have a different father, this is really her first with Kody Brown, and a big step in terms of being indoctrinated into the family unit.

What else went on in the premiere?

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Bristol Palin's recent run-in with a heckler was set up by the producers of her reality show ... at least according to her co-star and rumored BF Kyle Massey.

Palin got into it with a guy named Stephen Hanks at a bar on the Sunset Strip Thursday. Hanks insists the torrent of insults hurled at Palin was ALL him.

Massey's not buying that, however.

Bristol Palin Post-Plastic Surgery

Kyle and Bristol Palin are starring in a reality show for the BIO Channel, and he feels it was just a little too convenient that this all happened on camera.

Massey feels the producers of the show were behind it, but that Bristol was legitimately thrown off by Hanks laying into her and her mother Sarah.

Kyle believes Bristol Palin would never have agreed to something like that and that she has been nothing but genuine and honest with Kyle so far.

In addition, Massey is not happy with the direction the show has taken, becoming "sleazy" of late. He says it's nothing like what he signed on for.

The show hasn't commented on the heckling incident. Palin defended her response (asking if Hanks is gay), saying she took the high road in all this.

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Effing Snooki.

Last night was all about the pint-sized princess, but surprisingly, the car crash that ended last week's episode paled in comparison to what followed.

Jionni came to visit, and even if the producers weren't hinting at this all season, it seemed inevitable that her conduct would mortify him. And it did.

Don't ask us how it would come as a surprise to Jionni, given that he's dating SNOOKI FROM JERSEY SHORE. It's the nature of the beast, dude.

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we recap Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- style!

Snooki, Kooka

Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, Snooki and Deena avoided jail time for the police car mashup and the gang was allowed to stay in Florence. Fist-pump. Plus 3.

Snooki is no longer allowed to drive. Double fist-pump. Plus 4.

JWoww finds out that her boyfriend can't come out to visit. Minus 5, because we like Roger, and we felt bad for Jenni, tears welling on her fake eyelashes.

Snooki decides to use one of the twins to prank Sitch. This is at least the second time the twins have been used as sexual practical joke fodder. Plus 4.

The goal? To bust Mike bringing another girl home. Which happened as predicted ... but somehow only helped him get it in. Call it a Wash all around!

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We really wish we were making this up.

Ted Haggard and Gary Busey - a pastor best known for his 2006 crystal meth/homosexual affair scandal and an actor who has been arrested for cocaine possession and domestic violence - will be featured on the series premiere of Celebrity Wife Swap.

Ted Haggard Pic

Busey was most recently seen on Celebrity Apprentice and is a born-again Christian.

Haggard is still married to his wife and condemns homosexuality, following three weeks of intensive counseling with four ministries in 2006 after a masseur claimed he and the pastor had been involved in a three-year dalliance.

Congratulations, Toddlers & Tiaras. You may no longer be the most reprehensible reality show on television.

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