Reality TV

Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian returned to take over Miami on E! last night, as the sisters took their scripted act to The Sunshine State.

And then they gave it to Kris Humphries.

From the best one-liners to the most clearly contrived storylines, we run down the opener of Kourtney & Kim Take Miami in our patented +/- system below...

Khloe is in the house because her house is being renovated. Of course it is. PLUS 7 for this totally creative way to work the most fun sister into the series.

And PLUS 7 more for Khloe immediately focusing her wrath on Humphries, referring to his marriage with Kim as a "waste" of her sister's "time." MINUS 19, however, for not including the entire world along with Kim in that.

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The Real Housewives of Atlanta heats up with the "Battle of the Booty" and honestly I don't think anyone really wants their to look like a donkey or a horse. We recap all the crazy copycatting in our THG +/- review.

The story of the Stallion versus the Donkey starts off at the International Hair show where I have to say, Ms. Cynthia looks amazing in that killer red dress. Plus 15.

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Project Runway crowned the ultimate All-Star of all its All-Stars last night,

Anthony Ryan (Season 9) went up against Uli Herzner (Season 3) and Emilio Sosa (Season 7) on a finale that asked the trio to complete its concluding show in just four days with a budget of only $3,000.

That's like asking Kim Kardashian to get by with a mere 12 pointless Facebook posts per week!

In the end, the man who won a record five challenges this season came out on top, as Ryan impressed judges Georgina Chapman, Isaac Mizrahi, Liv Tyler and Margherita Missoni with what Mizrahi referred to as the "best dress I think I've ever seen on Project Runway."

That praise is higher than Justin Bieber on a Tuesday afternoon!

For his efforts, Ryan earned $150,000; a sewing/ embroidery studio; an all-expenses-paid vacation around the world; and a spread in Marie Claire.

Simply put afterward, Ryan Tweeted that he was "SO honored!" to be named champion. Did you agree with the panel's choice?

Lee Thomson, better known to Here Comes Honey Boo Boo viewers as "Uncle Poodle," revealed today that he is HIV positive.

The reality star made the stunning announcement in an interview with Fenuxe, telling the magazine his test came back positive for the disease in May of last year.

Poodle PSA

"I knew it had been my boyfriend who infected me," Thomson says. "I later learned he had been HIV positive and was not taking medication and had not bothered to tell me about it. I was advised that I should press charges and, hesitantly, I did. It was the right thing to do."

That boyfriend is now serving five years in prison as a result of his reckless behavior.

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The pregnant Jessica Simpson is moving from reality to scripted TV, signing on to star in a new sitcom pilot for NBC, according to a new report.

The show is said to be based on her life ... which is apparently funny.

Nick Bakay (Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Zookeeper and 'Til Death) will pen the script and executive produce alongside Electus' Ben Silverman and Jess' dad, Joe Simpson.

"I am so excited to work with Ben and NBC again," Jessica said. "I often find myself thinking that no one could ever make up the things that actually happen in my life."

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Man. You pull one drunken gorilla suit prank and this is the response you receive.

Tony Lindsey - better known as "Crazy Tony" on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo - has been banned from that TLC series by June Shannon after he was arrested in November for playing in traffic (in a gorilla suit) along a Georgia highway.

Shannon tells TMZ that she loves Tony "as a friend," but that was "a crazy story" and she wants to keep her hit show "family oriented."

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Toya Wright is making the most out of her claim to "fame."

Lil Wayne's baby mama is filming a new pilot wit rapper husband Mickey Wright (a.k.a. Memphitz of Love & Hip-Hop: Atlanta fame) as they try to launch a new business.

The working title? Mickey and Toya: The Wright Way. Really.

The new program will follow the couple as they attempt to get their unnamed enterprise off the ground, while remaining married. Should be a lot of fun, no doubt.

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He's already conquered the world of swimming. Up next for Ryan Lochte? The world of reality television.

The Olympian will star in his very own series on the home of Kim Kardashian and company. It will be titled "What Would Ryan Lochte Do?" and, according to an E! News press release, it will...

...  “feature the swimmer partying and training as he prepares for the 2016 Rio Olympics while building his fashion line, making media appearances, dealing with his close-knit and outspoken family and friends and looking for the right girl."

In other words: don't get on Ryan Lochte winning any medals in 2016.

Since his impressive performance this past summer, the well-scultped athlete has made appearances on 30 Rock and 90210.

Will you tune in for his reality show?

More than two months after the actual holiday, TLC aired a Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Halloween special last night.

Seems appropriate for what many would consider to be a backward show about a backward family, right? What went down?

Read on for our exclusive +/- recap of all the nauseating action...

We open with Pumpkin dangling some roadkill in front of a sleeping Mama June Shannon. Mmm… breakfast in bed. PLUS 7.

“Halloween is all about treats," Alana says. "Treating myself to candy.” PLUS 7 more for this unique take on the holiday.

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Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are back - across the Atlantic.

The former stars of The Hills are among the famous faces who agreed to give up any and all privacy (shocking) for the British reality show Celebrity Big Brother.

The gruesome twosome became the first married couple to ever enter the house during the series premiere last night, but were dealt a low blow right away.

Ushered into the dingy basement in a cruel twist, Speidi joined half of the cast with basic rations and no running water as the rest enjoyed a champagne reception.

Sort of sums up Spencer and Heidi's career downfall.

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