Reality TV

After a two-hour (!) episode and surprisingly potent efforts by both Trace Adkins and Penn Jillette, an all-star champion was finally crowned on Celebrity Apprentice.

Both were worthy, but there can be only one winner.

And that winner, ladies and gentlemen, is ...

Trace Adkins! Penn Jillette was fired by Donald Trump, though the choice didn’t just come down to money, even though Trace raised more than Penn.

Instead, it was a mixture of success at the final task, in addition to other traits. As Penn told Trace, one of them had to win, and it wouldn’t be by much.

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In Sunday's Honey Boo Boo wedding, it's unclear if Mama June and Sugar Bear actually got legally married, but they certainly made quite an entrance.

The reality show mom eschewed the traditional white gown for a more colorful cap-sleeve camouflage gown with orange trim and ribbons ... we kid not.

Honey Boo Boo Wedding

The Georgia backyard nuptials of the TLC reality stars (real names June Shannon and Mike Thompson) were filmed for Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

Their famous seven-year-old daughter, Alana "Honey Boo Boo" Thompson, rocked a ruffled hot pink-and-orange floor-length gown for the occasion.

Honey Boo Boo also carried a small white basket for her wedding duties.

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In the aftermath of Dave Hester's Storage Wars lawsuit, two more familiar faces have now been cut back on the hit show, according to a new report.

David Hester has already been frozen out by A&E execs after he filed suit, complete with charges that the show is faked in many ways to add drama.

Now Darrell Sheets has been cut out of approximately six episodes, and auctioneers Dan and Laura Dotson were also cut loose, Radar is reporting.

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This would certainly be a new one...

With The Situation reality show apparently still on tap, and with Vanilla Ice Goes Amish actually headed for DIY, word is now spreading that a series based around Calabasas, California is now in the works.

Why Calabasas, California?

That's where Justin Bieber resides. And where Kourtney Kardashian, Travis Barker and other celebrities live.

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Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is still getting his own reality TV show.

The star of Jersey Shore, which ended last year, has begun filming it.

According to TMZ, which spotted him shooting, the show will center on Situation AND other members of the Sorrentino clan in the New Jersey suburbs.

ENTHRALLING TV right there, don't you think?

We'd rather watch Vanilla Ice Goes Amish.

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Four words for you, THGers: Vanilla Ice Goes Amish.

That's actually a show coming to the DIY Network.

Vanilla Ice Goes Amish will debut on the network this year. Network executive Burton Jablin says the former rap star will live with an Amish community in Ohio.

To learn how they do construction, obviously.

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Sorry, Kim Kardashian. But E! is about to make reality stars out of many other woman with large breasts and plastic personalities.

The network will premiere Total Divas on July 28, a series that takes viewers inside the world of the women who strut their scantily-clad stuff on Monday Night Raw and Smackdown each week.

According to a press release, the program will center on seven WWE Divas who must wrestle - get it?!? - with the difficulties of of life in the spotlight, while balancing work/travel schedules with an intense competition that leaves little time for a personal lives.

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Deadliest Catch star Elliott Neese was conspicuously missing from the Season 9 premiere, causing fans (and cast members) to wonder about his whereabouts.

Scott Campbell, Jr., a.k.a. Junior, the captain of the Seabrooke, was quoted saying about the MIA star: "Elliot should be here. He should be ready to go."

Northwestern captain Sig Hansen had a different take:

"In all honesty, I’m kinda not surprised Elliott isn't here this year … No owner is going to let a guy run a boat and not produce. You're going to lose your job."

It's no secret Neese had a hard time of it last season, struggling at sea and back on land. But absent from Deadliest Catch with no explanation at all?

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The Real Housewives of Atlanta star Pheadra Parks is getting a new spinoff, Rich People's Problems, Bravo officially announced Tuesday, April 2.

The project, one of 17 new unscripted series planned for the upcoming months, is tentatively titled and will focus on Parks' legal career. She's a lawyer!

Pheadra Parks famously represented Bobby Brown during his 2004 trial for allegedly assaulting then-wife Whitney Houston, among other big-time clients.

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What Would Ryan Lochte Do? A new E! show asks that very question, and the result looks completely ridiculous, even for a network that employs Kim Kardashian.

"Don't duplicate," the Olympic swimmer urges. "Just recipitate."

And with that, we give you this amazing extender trailer:

What Would Ryan Lochte Do Trailer

The nearly-five-minute What Would Ryan Lochte Do? preview shows him showing off his "Lochte edge" shoes (whatever that means), partying, training, etc.

In addition to gratuitous ab shots and footage of Ryan hitting on girls, we're also treated to pearls of wisdom from the athlete, who has his own catchphrase.

"If you say it like how it's spelled, it's 'jeah.' But that's boring. No one wants to hear that. So you really have to put that enfidence on that 'J.' JA-EAH."

Consider yourselves smarter for having experienced this.