Reality TV Gossip

Kirstie Alley got really fat, lost some weight and then got fat again.

In this day and age, that's all it takes to land your own reality show.

Variety confirms the former Cheers star and Jenny Craig spokesperson will anchor a series (literally!!!) that chronicles her struggles with weight loss and being a single parent.

"Kirstie is exactly the kind of star A&E is drawn to," said an executive, without a hint of shame or irony. "Her personal life has been playing out in the media for years, but this will be the first time she'll be opening up her home to reveal her real life for the cameras."

Real life for the cameras? That seems as oxymoronic as plastic silverware, lucid Lindsay Lohan, humble Jon Gosselin or gentle Chris Brown.

Unwanted photographers get the finger from Kirstie Alley. Reality TV cameras that only film scripted segments of her life get full approval, however. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsonline.com]

Sources say Alley will launch a weight loss program as the cameras roll; while the aforementioned article notes she'll be:

"Producing a feature film, patenting multiple inventions, working hard to raise two normal Hollywood teenagers, taking care of eight ringtail lemurs and, on top of everything, looking for love."

Wait... she's looking for love? We have two words for Kirstie: Jake Pavelka.

A reality TV show featuring ... David Hasselhoff?

One only about David Hasselhoff and what a wreck he is? Sure, it would be better if Jon Gosselin and Michael Lohan somehow joined him, but hey, sign us up!

A few weeks ago, David's daughter Twittered (and later deleted) what we thought was confirmation that her train wreck dad would be putting his life on the air.

Well, no air date has been set yet, but the Hoff project appears to be close, or at least under consideration, according to an A&E rep, who said: "We are in discussions about the possibility of a series, but nothing official at this time."

AMERICA'S GOT HOFF: David's disaster of a life might be coming to A&E!

Hoff's teenagers, Hayley and Taylor, no strangers to his candid, drunk antics, are also expected to appear in what is being billed as a poor man's Leave it to Lamas.

Just kidding. No one's billing it as that - but you believed it, right?

Not surprisingly, his ex-wife Pamela Bach will not be appearing in the show. We hope she coincidentally leaks a poor woman's Shauna Sand sex tape instead.

In closing, it's critical that you remember the following lesson:

If we've learned one thing in a life of celebrity gossip, it's that you don't hassle the Hoff. Unless he willingly puts himself on reality TV. Then he's fair game.

We're not sure what humanity did to deserve this kind of punishment, but a higher power must think we deserve it if rumors of a new reality show starring both Jon Gosselin and Octomom Nadya Suleman are true.

The producers of Cheaters report that Nadya had an "insatiable desire to spend time with Jon and put their families together," and that in turn, they brainstormed a show entitled Jon Minus Kate = Jon Octomom.

We're guessing that's only a working title.

In any case, the show's producers certainly don't think lightly of their idea, or their two stars, who they call "two biggest media sensations of our generation."

We would have chosen other language. But it looks like a team effort between the emotionally abusive tool and human baby factory is at least being pushed.

A better title would be The Reality Show From Hell.

The pitch for Jon Minus Kate = Jon Octomom, obtained by one network it was pitched to, begins modestly: "Mohammed and the Mountain started a religion."

It gets better: "Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris started a Yankee dynasty. Lennon and McCartney started a music revolution." Then, the big kicker (pause) ...

"Jon and Octomom start a whole new reality in the world of Reality TV."

The pitch claims the show's so revolutionary it will rival American Idol in the ratings, but "there will be no rival in the shocking nature of this pairing."

If there's any silver lining to be found in this, it's that everyone can hate these two. Just put the Israelis and Palestinians together for a showing and they'll emerge best of friends, united in the hatred of a common enemy.

Who sucks more?

The lovely Kari Ann Peniche and other upstanding Z-listers be taking part in the latest spinoff of Celebrity Rehab, Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew, beginning November 1.

The stimulating new VH1 series will tackle the widely unexamined and wildly uninhibited world of sex addiction. The pleasure begins building at 10 p.m. Sunday.

Kari Ann is definitely the biggest name among the cast, thanks to her participation in this year's Eric Dane nude tape and her troubled past as a possible pimp.

The disgraced former Miss Teen USA also posed in Playboy, was engaged to Aaron Carter for like a week, and started her own clothing line, Strung Out Girl.

How apropos.

Hi, my name is Kari Ann Peniche and I am a sex addict. I enjoy pina coladas, long walks on the beach and getting naked with Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart.

The cast of the new series includes a number of people you possibly have heard of (if you follow the oft-colliding worlds of porn and celebrity sex tapes).

It also features some people you probably do not know. In addition to Kari Ann Peniche, here's a look at some of the upstanding characters joining her:

• Jennifer Ketchum (porn "actress")
• Jamie Lovett (surfer, wakeboarder)
• Nicole Narain (model, sex tape star)
• Kendra Jade (former porn star)
• Duncan Roy (music producer)
• Amber Smith (alleged model)
• Phil Varone (musician)

Apparently Shauna Sand wasn't available.

There's only one person on the planet with worse hair, and a larger ego, than Donald Trump.

In March, that terrible human being will come face-to-face with the real estate mogul, as Rod Blagojevich has received legal permission to participate on the third edition of Celebrity Apprentice.

Attorneys for the disgraced, former Illinois Governor must first meet with prosecutors and discuss how Blagojevich's participation in the reality show will affect his upcoming trial, but nothing will stand in the way of Blagojevich joining a pathetic cast that includes:

• Darryl Strawberry
• Sinbad
• Cyndi Lauper
• Holly Robinson Peete
• Carol Leifer
• Goldberg
• Maria Kanellis
• Curtis Stone
• Summer Sanders
• Bret Michaels

Earlier this summer, Blagojevich was disallowed from starring in I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. His awful wife took his spot and viewers were forced to watch a show centered around the only person more annoying than this dishonest politician:

Spencer Pratt.

She's starred on The Real Housewives of New York City for two seasons, is signed up for a third, and will likely receive her own spin-off series.

But while it may seem as though Bethenny Frankel bows at the altar of reality TV, the socialite claims it's actually the other way around.

"I'm not really revolving my life around reality TV; reality TV is revolving its life around me," she told E! News, referencing the constant arguing on the aformentioned Bravo series:

"It's like high school. In high school, you had time to argue and that was your whole life: the drama, the mean girls and the cool girls and all that. I don't have the time for the girl trouble right now... catfighting is not what I can really spend my time doing."

Especially because she loves cats. And all animals. So much so, Frankel is set to go naked for PETA.

As for new Housewives Sonja Morgan and Jennifer Gilbert, Bethenny could only say the following about the former:

"We have a mutual friend, and I remember meeting her. So bring it on. I'm excited for new women if that's the case."

Bravo has confirmed the addition of two more rich, obnoxious, talentless women on The Real Housewives of New York City.

On the upcoming new season of the reality hit, Sonja Morgan and Jennifer Gilbert will make frequent appearances. Each is currently listed as a "recurring" character, as opposed to a series regular.

Morgan, who was rumored to take over for Bethenny Frankel, is described by the network as: "A fixture of New York City society, running in social circles that include European royalty and top-notch designers... worked for multiple restaurants across the city as a consultant and manager and often brought in her famous friends to spice up these locales. 

A single mother of a nine-year-old daughter, Morgan loves art, decorating, gardening, skiing and visiting France every chance she gets – be it for her charity work or just for pleasure."

She sounds awesome. We guess.

As for Gilbert, she's a "busy career woman" who owns a corporate and social event planning company called Save the Date. Yet, she's not too busy to star on a reality show, apparently.

At 29, Gilbert was named Entrepreneur of the Year by Ernst & Young. She has three children.

Filming on the new season is underway. It will premiere in early 2010.

Larry Birkhead already has one special lady in his life.

Now he's reportedly going on reality TV to find another.

The ex-boyfriend of the late Anna Nicole Smith and father to her daughter Dannielynn is in talks to appear on Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker, reports say.

"We are actually working, maybe, with Larry Birkhead," the show's star Patti Stanger herself said at the Fox Reality Channel Really Awards in Los Angeles.

"We are looking [into] that."

SIDE NOTE: Larry Birkhead is a millionaire?

Stanger, who just got engaged to Andy Friedman, says she already has history with Danniellyn's mom, who she set up with billionaire J. Howard Marshall.

Yup, the one whose son she allegedly wanted to murder.

"I knew Anna Nicole," Stanger said, wanting to help out her baby daddy now. "I fixed her up back in the day and I want that child to have a great mom."

But the professional love coach doesn't think Birkhead's mate should be a star. Instead, she would match him with an "all American, down to earth girl."

Hopefully, a nice girl that likes shaggy hair, long walks on the beach and posing for celebrity gossip magazine photo shoots with Dannielynn a lot.

Patti adds that the future Mrs. Larry Birkhead should be "a nurse or a teacher that’s not into all of this who would be a good stay-at-home mother."

Tell us, ladies, would you date Larry Birkhead?

The family of the late Michael Jackson is reportedly at odds over whether his three children should star in an upcoming A&E reality show about the famous family.

The buzzed-about program will reportedly include Michael's kids - Prince I, 12, Paris, 11, and Prince II (Blanket), 7, although not everyone's happy about it.

Count eldest sister Rebbie Jackson, 59, who has refused to be in the series (called The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty, set to air in December) among the detractors.

Rebbie, who has been rumored to be a potential guardian for the three children now and down the line, along with her mother Katherine Jackson, "feels Michael would be rolling in his grave if he knew his kids would be on this show," says a source.

Given that Michael fiercely guarded the children's privacy and raised them with the hope they would lead the normal life he never had, she's probably correct.

The children of Michael Jackson at the star's July 7 memorial service.

While youngest sister Janet Jackson, 43, is on board, mom Katherine, who the kids are currently living with "is just going along with things," a source continues.

Still, one of the creators of the program - which will be either five one-hour episodes or 10 half-hour episodes - says the entire family shines on the series.

"We have 23 cast members with the last name Jackson," executive producer Jodi Gomes said. "They've done a great job opening up about losing a brother."

In addition to coping with the loss of their father, the children have all been the subject of paternity rumors since he passed away. Should they be left alone?

Should Michael Jackson's children be on a reality show?

It's hard to believe that just a few short years ago, before she was a household name, Kim Kardashian was just some rich girl getting tapped by Ray J.

Somehow, their sex tape catapulted Kim to stardom, while the R&B singer and sometime actor / rapper has mostly faded into the background. Mostly.

Ray J is back for another year of his self-titled reality dating show, For the Love of Ray J. Last season, Cocktail won Ray J’s heart. Then they broke up.

But why should that halt Ray's quest girl of his dreams? Just because things didn’t work out with Cocktail doesn’t mean it wasn't a blast for the man.

Come Monday, November 2, 19 classy women will be competing for the love and affections of William Raymond Norwood, Jr., a.k.a. Ray-to-the-J ...

Like last season, Ray J has nicknamed his potential playthings.

The finest girls from around the country have been summoned to his sex pad mansion in the Hollywood Hills and will be put through challenges, dates and eliminations to discover the ladies that are smart, funny and hot enough to survive the cut.

This is television at its finest. ABC should just sign Ray J as The Bachelor.

Here's a look at some of the aspiring women competing For the Love of Ray J 2. Our money's on Fettucini or Popper. But watch out for Heartbreaker ...