Pumping Gas Gossip

Looking very much like a young Britney Spears, Jamie Lynn Spears fills up at the gas station, baby bump hidden yet again by a baggy t-shirt.

To think that just a few months ago, on a fateful night (or day), it was Jamie Lynn's getting pumped by Casey Aldridge that resulted in ...

Sorry. Worst segue ever. We're saying they had sex. According to a recent report, it wasn't the first or last time Jamie Lynn made such a request.

Anyway, here's a photo of Jamie Lynn at the gas pump. Fortunately, selling her baby pics for $1M will offset the cost of filling up a Range Rover ...

According to Life & Style Weekly, which is up there with In Touch Weekly and OK! Magazine among the very worst best celebrity gossip magazines, JLS has been forbidden from seeing her boyfriend in public by mom Lynne.

Lynne Spears doesn't want Jamie to be photographed in public with Casey Aldridge, the magazine says, and the pictures of Jamie Lynn and Casey holding hands while running errands earlier this month reportedly enraged her.

"[Lynne Spears] doesn't want to keep reminding the world that Jamie Lynn is pregnant," says a Spears family friend.

"She's worried Hollywood won't ever see her in innocent roles again."

Okay, phew! We were scared for a minute there that Lynne Spears was merely concerned about her daughter's privacy, but no, she's worried about something far more important and close to her heart - her precious, precious paychecks.

Don't forget to play this week's Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest featuring a pregnant Jamie Lynn! Even if you already played, give us another one!

Former American Idol runner-up and certified cutie Katharine McPhee flashes that trademark smile we know and love as she pumps gas in Los Angeles.

And Kat's car isn't the only thing getting pumped up - the singer herself has plenty to be psyched for, as McPhee and boyfriend Nick Cokas recently got engaged!

That's one happy former American Idol star at the gas station!

Even in photos like this, where she's wearing far, far too much clothing, our staff adores Katharine McPhee. She's definitely the cutest creature we've done a post on all week ... narrowly edging out Suri Cruise and celebrity polar bear Knut.

Vanessa Hudgens is really getting the hang of this wearing clothes thing.

No longer posing for pictures in her birthday suit, the High School Musical star is seen here with hunky boyfriend Zac Efron, as the couple refills its gas tank before most likely driving somewhere.

It's nice to see Zanessa in such a good mood. Fallout from the aforementioned nude photos had made it seem like the pair were no longer dating.

Needing a Refill: Take away the naked pics, millions of dollars, friendships with Ashley Tisdale and Corbin Bleu - along with the entertainment news photographers following them everywhere - and Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron are a normal couple.

Jessica Simpson gets pumped by John Mayer, if you know what we're saying. We're saying they probably have the sex (no one dates her for her personality).

Well, before a trip to Jessica Simpson's love nest, Mayer practiced a different kind of pumping - dispensing petroleum byproducts into his phat ryde.

The price of gas there in Santa Monica ($3.09/gallon) might give most of us a heart attack, but Mayer needs to get oiled up, if you know what we're saying. Forget it.

It's nice to see that he can handle the task himself, though. Mischa Barton would be so proud... and Oprah would no doubt be envious.

One wonders what the expression on his face suggests, however. Are the jugs of motor oil he's holding conjuring up images of Jessica Simpson's jugs?

Probably not. But that is some rack. Damn. Come on, those things are big. They're the current frontrunner in our celebrity boobs poll, in fact!

Why is Mischa Barton so pissed off in this picture? We have some theories:

• She hates pumping gas even more than Nicole Richie does.

• She can't shake the image of Cisco Adler nude from her head. Yikes.

• The curtain she's wearing as a dress could be uglier than a similar outfit donned by Kate Bosworth a few months ago.

• She just realized that Autumn Reeser is a much better actress on The OC than Barton ever was.

We can't say for sure. And we do admire Mischa for pumping her own gas. It's something we can't exactly see anyone on MTV's The Hills doing.

Nicole Richie might not know which way to drive on a Southern California freeway, but at least she didn't forget how to fill up her gas-guzzling, enviornment-raping SUV.

Which counts for something. After all, some celebrities, like Oprah Winfrey, might be trying to save the world, but can't even fuel up their own cars! Then we have Kevin Federline, who only knows how because he will be working at a gas station before long. Or Paris Hilton, who's shown she can operate the pump, but much prefers getting pumped.

By many, many guys.

In any event, here are pics of Nicole filling up below:

Note that Richie ignored warnings of explosive hazards by talking on her cell phone while pumping gas. Just tack that on to everything else that stemmed from her DUI arrest and please, take her driver's license away. Joel Madden had better hope the prison she gets banished to has conjugal visits.

The fashion police surely have something to say about her too. Will you look at this ridiculous getup? This isn't quite as bad as Mary-Kate Olsen and her hobo lumberjack style, but come on, Nicole. Invest in a mirror, for crying out loud.

The last time we checked, horseback riding gear has never been in style - and the only riding she'll be doing soon is in the back of a squad car, anyway.

Was Rose McGowan recently upstaged by a gas station attendant?

And do you, T.H. Gossip readers, even know who Rose McGowan is?

The fiery hot Scream actress and wife of shock-rock sicko Marilyn Manson was pumping gas at a 76 Station on Robinson Boulevard in West Hollywood, where she was harangued by a chatty station attendant who bragged about being on both Entertainment Tonight and in the National Enquirer.

Clearly a celebrity in his own mind. Much like Kevin Federline.

McGowan was totally cool with the guy, who was, shall we say, a tad on the older side, when he asked the actress for some tips on how to avoid the paparazzi. Her response:

"Don't go down Robertson, how's that for a clue?"

She added that convertibles are photographer magnets as well. Lindsay Lohan, take note! She should have also mentioned that it's inadvisable to go clubbing wearing no pants.

Is Kevin Federline so hard up for money these days that he's considering picking up a part-time job at a SoCal gas station? Totally! Check out this pic of K-Fed taken in front of a WE'RE HIRING sign at the local Chevron this weekend.

Actually, he's probably just filling up. No way that Kev is so broke after Britney Spears cut him off that he would resort to this. But he does look and act like most of the dirtbags we went to high school with that are now working at gas stations. You know what we're talking about.

To his credit, he worked at a gas station in his younger years, so probably knows how to pump it, unlike some celebrities. *Cough* Oprah!

Also to his credit, he definitely knows how to pump Shar Jackson.

The saga continues for Britney Spears.

We knew she was about to get down and dirty in an ugly, messy divorce, and that she has made it clear that she's willing whatever it takes to make sure Kevin Federline can't claim another cent -- even if that means giving away Jayden James Federline pictures for free.

But we thought she could still afford underwear.

Apparently, in Britney's world, party time (ex-cellent!) means panties are optional. We've seen nude Britney Spears pics before, but these take it to another level. We are talking full-on, shaved crotch shots, people. She is officially out of her pants - and mind. Then again, should we really be surprised? The girl is hanging out with Paris Hilton, after all.

Out of basic decency and respect for Britney, we've covered up the explicit portions of the pics below. But our image gallery still speaks volumes. Behold, a THG photo essay of the newly-single Britney Spears... (click to enlarge)

TOP ROW: Here we see Britney Spears getting pumped up for a night on the town - literally! She's certainly got mad skillz at the pump, unlike that elitist Oprah Winfrey (sorry, Big O). To the right, Brit's terrified son, Sean Preston, is carried by mom while trying to feel up Paris Hilton. It's a position we all know and love.

MIDDLE ROW: Last weekend, Britney was spotted in a green top showing off her absolutely enormous breasts. Not that we're complaining. She looks a tad strung out, though. She should probably sleep more. It only gets worse. On the right, we have a pants-less Spears swarmed by paparazzi. We hate pants too, Brit, but come on. You have to know this is coming when you go out to bars, right?

BOTTOM CROTCH ROW: Captured by photographers at the most inopportune time, Britney was either in the middle of changing outfits during her clubbing romp... or just looking to get romped by a photographer. Seriously. Don't you put on your clothes before opening the door? Or before going out in public at all?

We know Britney has to get some partying out of her system after such a rough marriage, but use your brain, girl. You're making Anna Nicole Smith look smart.

The season premiere of The Oprah Winfrey Show started out with a bang... or at least a rich, non-gay talk show host having a hard time doing a simple everyday task.

To open the show, Oprah and BFF Gayle King embarked on a cross-country road trip, surprising unsuspecting Americans by dropping in unannounced at their weddings and other events. The toughest part of the trip for Oprah wasn't the rising price of gas... just the act of dispensing it into her vehicle.

The Big O had to be helped out as she fumbled with the pump, saying "I haven't pumped gas since 1983."

Lucky for her, a good samaritan came to her rescue, demonstrating the right technique for fueling a car. It proved surprisingly easy.

Winfrey joined us in laughing at her expense, saying "I feel kind of stupid not being able to pump gas, but I thought, well maybe they've changed the pumps since I've last pumped."

Well, Oprah, we thought that our girlfriends weren't home when we were posting some pictures from Kristin Cavallari's MySpace page on our site yesterday. Sometimes, you're just dead wrong. It can get pretty ugly.

At the same time Oprah was bungling this simple task, on other side of this great country of ours, the awesome Paris Hilton unknowingly showed that hack how it's done.

Paris proved she's the pro at the pump -- one-handed, in high-heels and talking on the phone. What skillz!

And for her next trick, Paris will demonstrate tonight that she's also a pro at getting pumped by guys.