by Free Britney at

President Barack Obama appeared on NBC's Late Night with Jimmy Fallon early this morning, taking part in the show's running bit called "slow jamming the news."

If you haven't seen it, the segment's name speaks for itself.

In front of a live college audience at the University of North Carolina, Obama talked about student loans while Fallon's house band the Roots jammed on a slow, sensual R&B beat, making the topic seem sexier than you ever thought possible:

With the rhythmic tunes accompanying him, Obama said, "What we said is simple: Now is not the time to make school more expensive for our young people."

Fallon then added (in his best Barry White voice), "Awww, yeah. You should listen to the president. Or as I like to call him, the Preezy of the United Steezy."

"Things are heating up inside Congress' chambers behind those closed doors."

We don't even know what that means, but the "POTUS with the most-est" needs to bring the Roots with him and deliver campaign speeches this way more often.

Mitt Romney wouldn't stand a chance.

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by Free Britney at

Presidential candidate Mitt Romney effectively assumed the helm of the Republican Party Tuesday, rolling to five primary victories in as many states.

His wins across the Northeast solidified his status as the party nominee-in-waiting who is trying to unite conservatives and appeal to independents.

He is trying to deny President Barack Obama a second term.

Mitt wins again

Romney received a major boost in delegates from New York, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Rhode Island and Delaware, moving closer to official GOP nomination.

He marked the milestone by outlining themes of the fall campaign.

"Americans have always been eternal optimists," Romney said. "Over the last three and a half years, we have seen hopes and dreams diminished by false promises and weak leadership. Everywhere I go, Americans are tired of being tired."

Romney, who fought back challenges from a Republican field that once included nearly a dozen rivals, has been shifting his campaign toward the general election since his most serious rival, Rick Santorum, left the race this month.

The rapidly-expanding Romney campaign is settling on a message for the fall campaign. Taking a page from Ronald Reagan, he urged Americans to consider whether they are better off now than when Obama took office three years ago.

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by Free Britney at

Jon Lovitz is apparently not a fan of President Obama.

The former Saturday Night Live star didn't exactly go Ted Nugent on Barack, but he did make some strong feelings known on his recent podcast, "The ABC's Of SNL."

In a clip first highlighted by Breitbart TV, Lovitz jokes that Obama is "a f--king a$$hole" for "saying the rich don't pay their taxes." Tell us how you really feel, Jon!

The comedian went on to explain that Obama "is the perfect example" of what can go wrong with government: "He's amazing. He had nothing. He had no father."

"He was, you know, of mixed race which is a burden in the United, don't kid yourself, you know, growing up like that, and no money, and the guy ends up being at Harvard."

"He's the President of the United States. And now he's like, fuck me!"

"If I make a dollar and out of every dollar I'm taxed at 50, half, at 50 cents, I have to give, isn't that like enough?" asked Lovitz. He continued, "It's half. HALF?!"

It's unclear whether Lovitz's comments were sincere or in jest ... or a little of both. The rant occurred this January, though the podcast itself was just released.

Victoria Jackson is perhaps the President's most outspoken critic among SNL alumni, often calling Obama a communist. Yeah. Nothing in jest about that.

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by Free Britney at

Former aide Andrew Young, the star witness in the trial of former presidential candidate John Edwards, began his testimony against his former boss Monday.

Edwards is accused of using hundreds of thousands of dollars from 101-year-old Rachel "Bunny" Mellon and Fred Baron to conceal his affair with Rielle Hunter.

Young, testifying as the first witness Monday, said Mellon was an enthusiastic supporter who apologized for not being able to give more than $1 million.

Andrew Young and John Edwards

"She said she was close personal friends with Senators John and Bobby Kennedy and felt like Edwards was the best combination of them," Young testified.

Prosecutors say Edwards broke federal law by accepting about $725,000 from Mellon and more than $200,000 from Fred Baron, a now-deceased Texas lawyer.

The money was used to pay for Rielle Hunter's living and medical expenses, travel and accommodations to quash the scandal while he sought the presidency.

Edwards is accused of concealing the money from the public and the Federal Election Commission, which polices political contributions, in the 2008 campaign.

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by Free Britney at

The rogue state of North Korea is making headlines again for issuing threats, but this time of a more specific nature than their typical over-the-top, vague rhetoric.

North Korea's military interrupted state TV Monday with a special report, vowing to reduce areas of neighboring South Korea "to ashes" in less than four minutes.

The threat comes amid rising tensions on the Korean peninsula, the recent ascension of Kim Jong Un to the dictatorship and the North's latest failed missile test.

According to the AP, the scary statement from North Korea was unusual in promising something soon and in describing specific locations and periods of time.

The North Korean military threatened to "reduce all the rat-like groups and the bases for provocations to ashes in three or four minutes ... (or) in much shorter time, by unprecedented peculiar means and methods of our own style."

Yeah. Real normal.

South Korean officials responded, urging North Korea to end the threats. "We urge North Korea to immediately stop this practice," Unification Ministry spokesman Kim Hyung-suk said, according to the Associated Press.

The South Korean leader added, "We express deep concern that the North's threats and accusations have worsened inter-Korean ties and heightened tensions."

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by Free Britney at

Former presidential candidate U.S. Senator John Edwards goes on trial Monday on charges he used illegal campaign contributions to cover up an affair.

Rielle Hunter became pregnant during his failed bid for the 2008 Democratic nomination and Edwards, with the help of aide Andrew Young, concealed it.

John Edwards is accused of accepting more than $900,000 in campaign funds from two wealthy donors, with the hope of burying the love child scandal.

John Edwards Mug Shot

The politician did this knowing the exposure of his extramarital affair "would destroy his presidential campaign," prosecutors said in a pre-trial brief.

The candidate at the time was a married father of three whose wife, Elizabeth Edwards, had terminal breast cancer. She passed away in December 2010.

Jurors will hear opening statements at the federal courthouse in Greensboro, N.C., this morning. Edwards, 58, is accused of conspiring to solicit money.

By receiving more than the $2,300 allowed from any one donor, and failing to report the payments as contributions, prosecutors say he broke the law.

He faces six felony counts, each carrying a sentence of up to five years in prison and a $250,000 fine. Edwards insists he broke no laws throughout.

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by Free Britney at

Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is weighing in on the recent Secret Service scandal after it was revealed that one of the accused agents, David Chaney, was "checking her out" on assignment protecting then-VP candidate Palin in 2008.

That's just disturbing. Not as disturbing as the fact that Sarah Palin was once close enough to the presidency that she warranted Secret Service detail, but still. Bad taste.

Seriously, though. This is a real story.

Palin Facebook post

David Chaney, one of the agents implicated in the Colombia prostitution fiasco, wrote on Facebook of Sarah Palin that he was "checking her out" while assigned to protect the vice presidential candidate during the 2008 campaign.

He posted a photo of Palin with him looking on from the background. Under the photo, he wrote: "I was really checking her out, if you know what i (sic) mean?"

Palin, on Fox News, shot back: "Well, check this out, buddy - you're fired!"

She added that the scandal is "a symptom of government run amok" and that she hopes Chaney is in the doghouse, getting in a dig at President Obama's dog-eating "scandal":

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by Hilton Hater at

Ted Nugent will not face any criminal charges for his rant earlier this week against Barack Obama.

Threatening the President is against the law, of course, and the musician was forced to meet with the Secret Service after relaying a metaphor to attendees at a NRA convention that concluded with:

"If the coyote's in your living room, pissing on your couch, it's not the coyote's fault. It's your fault for not shooting him."

"The Secret Service interview of Ted Nugent has been completed," spokesman Brian Leary told Yahoo News. "The issue has been resolved. The Secret Service does not anticipate any further action."

Well, not that kind of action at least... if you know what we mean!

Appearing prior to the meeting on Glenn Beck's radio show (above video), Nugent said:

"The bottom line is I've never threatened anybody's life in my life. I don't threaten, I don't waste breath threatening. I just conduct myself as a dedicated 'We the people' activist because I've saluted too many flag-draped coffins to not appreciate where the freedom comes from."

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by Free Britney at

Mitt Romney's campaign is fighting back in the War on Dogs, excerpting a passage from President Obama's memoir in which he admits eating one as a kid.

The Daily Caller's Jim Treacher wrote a blog post with an excerpt from Dreams From My Father in which Obama writes of eating dog as a boy in Indonesia.

"With Lolo, I learned how to eat small green chill peppers raw with dinner (plenty of rice), and, away from the dinner table, I was introduced to dog meat (tough), snake meat (tougher), and roasted grasshopper (crunchy)," writes Obama.

Romney, Obama

Treacher brought out the excerpt as a way of responding to a very odd, old story that has haunted Romney since the Boston Globe first reported it in 2007.

The story goes like this: In 1983, Romney strapped the family dog's crate to the roof of the car for a 12-hour drive from Massachusetts to Canada.

On the trip, the dog, an Irish Setter named Seamus, suffered the "runs," as Ann Romney put it this week. Her husband coolly pulled over to hose off the dog and the car, then kept driving, with the dog back in the crate on the roof.

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by Free Britney at

Comedian slash sort-of presidential candidate Roseanne Barr is laying into Mitt Romney's wife, Ann, over her recent remark that being a mom was her full-time job.

It's not that Barr supports Democratic strategist Hilary Rosen's comment (and subsequent apology) criticizing Ann for having "never worked a day in her life."

It's just that Ann's claim of raising five kids on her own is BS, Roseanne says.

  • Ann Romney Image
  • Roseanne's Nuts

"Mrs. Mitt Romney claims to have worked her toned ass off, raising five Romney males all on her own, as privileged wives often do ... but, no, Ann, I call bulls--t on your Big Mama story, girlfriend," Barr wrote in a column for The Daily Beast.

Barr went on criticizing Romney for claiming she did it all solo, with the exception of a little assistance from a maid who would come in a couple of hours a week.

Roseanne writes that Ann is basically full of it:

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