Perez Hilton
Gossip

Recently, Jessica Simpson maturely took to her Twitter account to deride the CW for giving her younger sister Ashlee the pink slip from the Melrose Place cast.

Now she's rising to her sibling's defense yet again, hitting back at celebrity gossip blogger Perez Hilton, who dissed Ash and one-year-old son Bronx this weekend.

On Friday, Bronx's first birthday, Perez wrote: "It's been one year since Asslee pushed Bronx Mowgli through her vajayjay and it's all the family is talking about!"

Unfunny, perhaps. But quite true!

Perez ended his post by calling Bronx a "poor lil' thing" who "doesn't stand a chance!!!" Talk about stating the obvious, Perez. Still, is that so bad? Jess thinks so.

It's a battle of the blonde bimbos.

Simpson hopped on Twitter later that day and wrote a scathing rebuttal to the blogger (whose real name, for future reference, Jess, is Mario Lavandeira): 

"Does perez hilton..whatever his name really is.. have no heart at all??Don't ever attack my family again.Sad to know u hate so deeply.So Sad 4 U"

We're sad for Jessica's grade school grammar and spelling teachers. But we're glad she's sticking up for Ashlee. Good thing Jess has so much free time.

Whose side are you on?

The folks at Funny or Die have released a Carrie Prejean sex tape parody that will leave you laughing ... or just disturbed. Probably a combination of the two.

First and foremost, it features serious Bush loving ... George W., that is. She won't shave hers until he gets reelected. Hey, you gotta stand up for something.

While there's no fake Carrie Prejean nude action, she's definitely getting into it, moaning to the imagery of something that really does it for her: Fox News.

Then there's a cameo by Perez Hilton, whose question at the Miss USA pageant first put Carrie and her political views on the map. It gets a little weird.

Follow the jump to peep this faux Carrie Prejean sex tape ...

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As everyone knows, Halloween brings out the crazies.

It also brings out the attention-starved douchebags. Two cases in point: Cisco Adler and Perez Hilton.

The large-balled ex of Mischa Barton attended a party dressed like a hippie, flashing peace signs and looking dirtier than ever.

Hilton, meanwhile, channeled Lady Gaga for his Halloween costume. Instead of asking readers who looked better, we actually wanna know which celebrity looked the most moronic last night...

Who looks stupider?

Phew.

When we heard Perez Hilton was posing for a PETA campaign, we got worried.

It's bad enough for that organization to waste money on celebrity endorsements (over actually saving animals), but its posters usually feature the naked bodies of D-listers such as Joanna Krupa and Alicia Silverstone.

We've eaten in the last six weeks, so the last thing we wanna see is Perez Hilton nude. Fortunately, the self-serving blogger didn't take his advertisement that far - but we still can't help but wonder what purpose the image below serves.

Based on Hilton's reputation, seal clubbing may very well rise in Canada after our friends up north see who is against it.

Perez Hilton wants to save the seals. Based on his resemblance to this species, we can understand why.

Stephanie Pratt and Perez Hilton exchanged some scathing Tweets this week. The subject of this feud? Steph's butchered face and Perez's lack of a life.

At the MTV VMAs Sunday night, Perez observed via Twitter that "Stephanie Pratt is so wasted! She's probably seconds away from barfing on her lap."

But when he added this line, in reference to Stephanie Pratt's plastic surgery, he really set off Spencer's sis: "She also had too much work done!"

Stephanie replied with a Tweet about Perez Hilton being a "piece of dog $h!t" who needs to get a life and "get off ur computer u F*%KING LOSER!"

She also says she'd rather die than be him. Rough.

Perez, never failing to get the last word or milk it for all it's worth once he has been acknowledged by a celebrity - or even Stephanie Pratt, for that matter - responded "Please b!tch, you wish you were me! At least I'm D-list."

Funny, true and not one he could use on Demi Moore.

He says she's "Z-list and always will be," which is possibly the worst thing you could possibly tell an aspiring fame whore. Point Perez once again.

Of course, had he stopped there, this would be a funnier story, but Perez had to keep needling at her, writing "you can get all the plastic surgery you want, you'll still be an ugly, formerly meth-addicted bitch." Ouch, that burns.

And finally, "You and Fergie have a lot in common - only she has talent and you have none. xoxo" All true, we suppose, but yeesh, Perez. Lay off.

Whose side are you on?

We posted two of their Tweets after the jump as prove that this happened, leaving them off our homepage due to the vulgarity. Click to see ...

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Starting tonight, Perez Hilton will take a brief break from drawing semen on celebrity photos and officially begin his side career as a music mogul.

How we wish we were kidding.

Rolling Stone, as if it had not jumped the shark long ago, is back to jump it again for good measure with a feature of the Perez Hilton Presents tour.

The roster for the blogger's tour: Norwegian singer Ida Maria, New Zealand chanteuse Ladyhawke and New York rockers Semi Precious Weapons.

Selecting the lineup was simple: Hilton went after artists he digs.

“Ida Maria is such a ferocious, raw performer,” he says of the indie rocker, who’s been known to bust out stripteases onstage while performing her tune “I Like You So Much Better When You’re Naked.” “Live, she kind of scares me,” he admits.

Perez, who it's safe to say is not a fan of Joe Wilson based on the t-shirt he's wearing in the photo above, admits he wants to expand his brand and get into the music business. Even though he has no skills, he has considerable influence.

Often adding new tunes to his site, Hilton is a known almost as much for his love of music as for increasingly unfunny and uninteresting blog posts.

He gushes about Madonna and Lady Gaga. He was also an early fan of Sliimy, who snagged attention with his cover of Britney Spears’ “Womanizer.”

Now, he’s the debut signing on Hilton’s Perezcious Music label.

Continue reading this piece on Hilton here if you can take it.

We know you're the queen of Twitter, Demi Moore, but everyone knows the worst thing you can do is start a feud with Perez Hilton. The low-life always wins, even by being a loser. He has no purpose, other than garnering attention.

Just the same, Moore decided to ignite a Twitter fight with Perez for three-week-old tweets like: "Tallulah Willis, 15, dressing like a slut! Look at her boobs!"

Tallulah, of course, is Demi's daughter with Bruce Willis.

While anyone can and should be pissed that this moron is talking trash about their daughter, it's best not to engage Perez. Ever. But Demi did, Tweeting:

"Clearly Perez Hilton isn't taking violating child pornography laws very seriously. He might not but there are alot of people who do! Anyone who advertises follows or supports Perez supports violating child pornography laws!"

Tallulah Willis is pictured below with her mom Demi Moore. Click here for the Tallulah picture in question, which Perez's original remark was based on.

Yes, she's 15, and calling her a slut is inappropriate, but come on, this is nothing we haven't seen from teenagers countless times ... usually Miley Cyrus.

Predictably, as soon as Moore fired that off, Perez took a well-earned break from drawing semen on celebrity pics and started Twittering like a madman:

• "Expect another letter from my attorney, kitten. Xoxo"
• "P.S. Bring it on, bitch!"
• "That fine, upstanding, wholesome young lady is 15. Still waiting for you to retract your incorrect, libelous and defamatory statements"
• "And thanks for drawing MORE attention to your daughter's behavior and your parenting skills (or lack thereof). U r real smart!"

Wonderful and highly intelligent stuff, as always. Demi responded with "This is not a game. Children should not be exploited. They must be protected."

Perez Hilton hit back at that one with: "Ur daughter has been an actress in Bruce's films. You 2 have been exploiting Tallulah for quite some time."

In closing, Demi Moore is an idiot. We totally get why you'd want to beat the crap out of him, a la will.i.am, but way to call attention to Tallulah photos no one was talking about, and call out Perez in a forum where everyone can see it.

Whose side are you on?

In an interview with MTV, Perez Hilton talks to Alexa Chung (of It's On with Alexa Chung) about becoming famous for ... "writing" about famous people.

The most hated man in celebrity gossip, Perez Hilton, made an appearance on It's On with Alexa Chung to talk about fashion etiquette, guilt trips and more.

The Queen of All Media, who has arguably become more famous than some of the people he reports on, also touched on his Twitter beef with Ashlee Simpson.

Perez, who claims he has now made the C-list (up from D) also ripped Miley Cyrus' lame Tweets (no arguments here) and says he doesn't care what you think about him as long as you read his celebrity gossip site. Hey, at least it's honest.

Lastly, Hilton plugged his new record label and basically took credit for launching the successful career of Lady Gaga and Katy Perry, among others. Sure.

Check out his interview below ...

Perez Hilton has gone and pissed off another star. Or at least Ashlee Simpson.

The celebrity gossip blogger reported that Ashlee and husband Pete Wentz got into a fight at the one-year anniversary of his Chicago bar, Angels and Kings.

Hilton quoted eyewitnesses who said a boozed-up Ash instigated the spat and told Pete "he was [acting] horrible... and made him leave his own party early."

This ignited a war of words between the Wentzs and Perez Hilton. Via Twitter.

Making it clear there was no bad blood with her beloved, she went after the gossip queen with a vengeance: "When all you do is make up untrue stories - look in the mirror. Do you even feel human?? Karma is a bitch. Your story is WAY off."

Hilton, who refers to Simpson-Wentz as "Asslee" (in typical clever fashion) fired back with this Tweet to Pete: "Sorry to hear what Ashlee put you through."

With mock compassion, the most hated man in celebrity gossip then suggested rehab facilities in Malibu Ashlee can check into, while defending his story.

"I don't wanna name names and get people fired but several of the people I spoke with work at Angels & Kings. I'm not wrong," Perez Hilton Twittered.

"WRONG," replied Ashlee. "My husband is an amazing dj and was dedicating songs to me. We were just havin fun. Our love is amazing ... Get ur own life."

No doubt will.i.am was thinking the same thing while feuding with him in July ... before his manager stepped in and Perez got his ass whomped, that is.

Many words have been used to describe Perez Hilton, and most of them are probably pretty accurate. But you will never hear him be called:

1. Lazy
2. Apologetic

Love him or hate him, by cranking out blog post after blog post for five years running, Perez has become a celebrity brand all his own, and one with much greater staying power and influence than many of the celebrities his website covers.

All by being a bitch, by his own admission, and he's not about to stop.

He is not sorry for trashing Miss California, the now-dethroned Carrie Prejean, for her views that marriage should be between a man and woman.

He is not sorry he accused Michael Jackson of faking it on the day he died, although he did later redact his post to remove the cynical speculation.

He is not sorry he posted Dustin Lance Black sex photos showing the Milk writer and gay rights advocate having unprotected sex with a porn star.

Nor is he fully sorry for directing a gay slur at Black Eyed Peas singer will.i.am last month (though after getting his ass kicked by the Black Eyed Peas' manager, Perez issued a qualified apology to "the gay community," but not will.i.am).

Every time Perez Hilton, 31, whose real name is Mario Lavandeira, utters the sort of outrage that would land him in prison for life if the world were governed by laws of good taste and kindness, his popularity only grows.

So why would he be sorry? Perez no longer just gossips about celebrities; he has now become one. Now they gossip about him. The top celebrity gossip competitors rarely evoke the passionate love/hate reactions engendered by Hilton.

Increasingly, he is a force to be reckoned with in other spheres of pop culture as well. On July 21, Hilton launched his own music imprint, Perezcious Music.

While he is trying to come up with a fresh idea for a TV entertainment news show, he's already got Radio Perez, a daily gossip report for Citadel Broadcasting.

Even Hilton, a once-schlubby but increasingly lean (thanks to two trainers and a $70-a-day meal service) Cuban-American kid from Miami, seems amazed.

"In. San. Ity," he trilled, sitting in a T-shirt and sweat pants on an L-shaped couch in the living room of his surprisingly modest two-bedroom apartment.

Follow the link to continue reading the L.A. Times' profile on Perez ...