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Tuesday on New Girl Season 4 Episode 9, Schmidt decided that this Thanksgiving would be a little different. Why? Because the gang's all single at the moment!

Entitled "Thanksgiving IV," New Girl Season 4 Episode 9 served up heaping portions of laughs as everyone brought dates and things went terribly awry.

The dates were selected by picking names out of a hat. As in whatever name a person picked, they had to supply that person with their Bangsgiving date.

Naturally Coach brings Ryan, Jess' teacher crush, for Jess, despite the fact that Jess agreed to this idea in part so that she could get over Ryan. 

Coach says her rule for not getting involved is a dumb rule, and the guys tell her to "bang it out" with him so that she can move on. Totally logical!

This backfires, though, when Ryan doesn't want any part of it and instead, insists on a real relationship. Wow, this man really is the perfect catch.

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On New Girl Season 4 Episode 8, Ryan and Jess tried to get some alone time while the guys tried to get in some fun while Jess was gone from the loft.

Picking up where we left off after last week's nonsensical ruse with Nick, Jess and Ryan appeared to be going strong on New Girl Season 4 Episode 8.

When Coach and Jess attend a two-day teacher conference, she is thrown off but excited when Ryan also attends - and gets the hotel room right next to hers.

Jess obviously asks Coach to act as a buffer between her and Ryan because she is not allowed to date another teacher as the vice principal and all.

Coach is not too sweet on this idea, and soon enough, Ryan and Jess are partnered together, quickly forming a bond that is obvious and so palpable.

If you watch New Girl online, you know Ryan is being set up as Jess' love interest, and it sometimes feels forced. At the same time, they are great together.

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On New Girl Season 4 Episode 7, Schmidt was distraught to discover that former flame Cece is contemplating the unthinkable: breast reduction surgery.

Meanwhile, Nick pretends that he is gay in order to make Jess' date Ryan feel more comfortable, which sounds like the most foolproof plan ever devised.

Suffice it to say, New Girl Season 4 Episode 7 teetered on the brink of absurdity and then went over the edge as the show often does, in hilarious fashion.

Ian is so turned off by the revelation that Jess lives with her former partner that he wants to shut the relationship down immediately, so our girl panics.

Nick is really gay, she says, so in that sense it is totally not weird that they live together. Then she has to convince Nick to play along on the fly of course.

He's down with it, although he's the world's worst keeper of secrets, and true to form, brings a woman to the loft and threatens to "out" Jess in epic fashion.

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Thank you, New Girl Season 4 Episode 6, for getting "Landslide" stuck into our head all night.

Fortunately - as Nick pointed out while often singing this classic song out loud on an especially zany episode of this Fox sitcom - it really is a pretty darn good tune.

"Background Check" centered around exactly that: Winston telling his roommates they had to be on their best behavior because a superior was coming by the apartment to conduct a background check as part of his police academy training.

This was a big moment for Winston, so big that Coach canceled his plans to go outlet mall shopping for it. (Yes, on a weekend, but don't worry: he had a plan and everything.)

As much as any episode in recent memory, this half hour simply centered around Jess and company acting like… well, Jess and company. It made a great comedic punchline over the simple fact that so many weird people live in such small quarters.

Especially when one of them is hiding a giant bag of meth.

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On New Girl Season 4 Episode 5, the gang decides they need a landline phone after years of frustration at the crappy reception their cells all get in the loft.

Yes, this is one of the primary plot lines of an episode.

Also, Jess discovers on New Girl Season 4 Episode 5 that Coach has been sleeping with a teacher at school. And another teacher at school. Oh yes.

Much of the media buildup to this installment centered around Julian Morris as Jess' new love interest, but this was practically an afterthought last night.

Not because of anything he did wrong - he Goes In Ya just fine - but because the rest of the gang's antics were that much funnier from beginning to end.

When you watch New Girl online today, it's hard to even guess what line you'll be quoting afterward. There are so many options from each of the characters.

The phone that could've been a lame gimmick turned out to be anything but. After some initial trepidation it really struck a cord (pun intended) with Nick.

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Jess tried to prove a point to the guys on New Girl Season 4 Episode 4, which is a recipe for comedic gold nine times out of 10 with this FOX comedy.

Her goal? To prove that women are, collectively, less shallow than men.

Her proof? She will date a less-than-perfect guy and she will love it!

The problem? Said guy has a "micro" penis and is a general d-bag!

When New Girl Season 4 Episode 4 kicks off, Jess gets annoyed at the guys, who are having a graphic and hilarious conversation about boobs at the bar.

Her claims that she is not as shallow as they are quickly laughed off, then forgotten about as Nick points out her wonky knee. That is not structurally sound.

Fleeing her friends, Jess meets a hunk named Matt, who seems like he would be the perfect guy until he reveals his "Micro" penis. It's REALLY small.

The guys, and likely more than a few people who watch New Girl online, immediately research what that means, and the jokes follow in rapid succession.

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On New Girl Season 4 Episode 3, Bob Day came to visit with another New Girl - his much younger girlfriend - which made for plenty of tension with Jess.

Awkward, downright adorkable tension, it goes without saying.

New Girl Season 4 Episode 3 was titled “Julie Berkman’s Older Sister.” Also known as Trashy Ashley, played by Kaitlin Olson of It's Always Sunny fame.

Jess tells Cece, before finding out who her dad is dating, that this time she plans on being super nide to his new girlfriend, no matter who she is.

That's when Trashy Ashley appears, right on hilarious cue.

Cece and Jess retreat to her room to freak out, reminiscing about her legendary sexual antics and generally wondering just how her dad ended up with her.

The other storyline you'll see when you watch New Girl online this week involves Schmidt and his idea notebook, also known as Nick's napkin.

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We apologize up front if you're wearing Velcro shoes while reading this, but, well...

... you're a pervert.

This is just one of many lessons we learned on New Girl Season 4 Episode 2, as Schmidt served as an online dating mentor for Jess, who was anxious to get back out there and signed up for an app called "Dice" in order to do so.

And it’s safe to say she needed it, considering she believes DTF stands for “Down to Fun.”

So Schmidt imparted wisdom (using the Taboo buzzer to scream at Jess everytime she gave a wrong answer) that included pearls such as the following:

Never date a man with pets. The only acceptable pet for a man to have is a saltwater fish.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Wait... who's that girl? Again, we ask: who's that girl? One more time: who's that girl?!?

Oh, it's Jess... ica Biel!

That's right, Mrs. Justi Timberlake herself guest-starred on New Girl Season 4 Episode 1, as Nick, Jess and company attended their final wedding of the season and all agreed to go home with someone from the event.

Jess set her sights very high, on the Best Man, portrayed by Reid Scott of Veep. But she has competition for his penis in the form of a ridiculously smart and gorgeous guest played by Biel.

"Here are the facts: I’m technically a genius, I have a photographic memory, and I lost my virginity to Malcolm Gladwell," Biel's Kat said, taunting Jess.

She added that she watches a half hour of porn each night just to keep up with trends and expect a "return to missionary," depending on what "happens in Syria."

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If you haven't seen Prince's post-Super Bowl performance on Fox's funniest comedy, follow the link and watch New Girl online right now. It's worth it.

If you caught it last month, you know that the reclusive rocker guest starred and performed a song titled "FALLINLOVE2NITE" with Zooey Deschanel.

The song marked the occasion where Deschanel's character, Jess Day, and boyfriend Nick Miller (Jake Johnson) exchange I love you's for the first time.

Prince and Deschanel also recorded a full-length version, which the Purple One released this week. While written mostly for laughs, it's totally a real song:

The single is now available via all major digital retailers and is being pushed to radio by Epic Records' promotion team, which is pretty hilarious.

Funny as it is, Zooey is also a serious musician.

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