MySpace Gossip (Page 3)

We haven't had a good MySpace fight since Jenna Jameson and Jay Grdina.

So imagine our excitement when we discovered that Lindsay Lohan's boyfriend and his former flame were going at it online.

Loyal celebrity gossip followers know all about Breanna Tierney by now.

The ex-fiancee of Riley Giles supposedly spilled the sordid beans of Riley and Lindsay's relationship to The National Enquirer this week.

And, by the looks of this MySpace exchange, Giles is none too pleased about that.

Bashing Britney Spears is so September 10.

Yes, most of the online community has moved on, and now it's time to take cheap shots at the random-ass loons we only know exist because of her - namely her most famous Internet defender: Chris Crocker.

By now you've surely seen Crocker's tearful defense of Britney Spears ("She had two f*%king kids! Her husband was a USER!") circulating on the web.

Yes, Chris Crocker. Britney is a human being. An absurd one, not unlike you. Funny how that works. That said, everyone is lining up to poke fun at both.

Even Seth Green.

Sporting enough eyeliner to resemble Pete Wentz, Seth Green went on MySpace TV and screamed into the camera, skewering the effeminate, teenage Chris Crocker by begging fans to just leave him alone, man!

"You have not spent a mile walking in his sneakers ... or platform pumps," Green shrieks. "I don't know what he wears but I bet it's stylish!"

Just a guess here, but it's probably pumps. Or stiletto heels.

And yes, Seth Green has gone from an actor best known for some of the great Can't Hardly Wait quotes 10 years ago to a guy on our site solely because he lampoons a guy who defends Britney. As The Hollywood Gossip world turns....

Here's Seth Green impersonating Chris Crocker:

Thank you, Samantha Ronson. Someone had to put Candy Spelling in her place.

The mother of Tori Spelling has been going off on random celebrities left and right. As TMZ reports, though, Ronson stepped up and took Candy out to the proverbial woodshed for sticking her nose in everyone's business.

Over the last few weeks, the elder Spelling has given Larry Birkhead advice, told Paris Hilton to grow up and informed Britney Spears that respected women avoid crotch shots whenever possible.

We couldn't agree more with the latter two points, but you don't see us penning open letter to anyone you see fit, do you, Candy? No. We take to the celebrity gossip airwaves instead and simply mock the heck out of these people.

As Ronson says in her MySpace blog below, who is so self-righteous to actually gallop on such a high horse while writing to people they've never met? Here's Samantha's posting:

i don't understand the idea of writing an open letter to someone via a gossip website.... it was weird when she knew the person- though- i'm not sure if it's stranger to write an open letter to someone you know- or someone you don't know- either way it's insane! that would be like sending your father a father's day card through your local newspaper... i don't get it.... although it is nice to see old people using modern technology- on second thought she probably has some underpaid and overworked young girl taking dictation.

does she honestly think anyone cares what she has to say?

You tell her, non-famous girl that may have been Lindsay Lohan's girlfriend for a period of time! We could scarcely have said it better ourselves.

Of course, we would question who would use MySpace as a forum to say anything at all noteworthy? But all we need to do is turn to Alexa Ray Joel or Shanna Moakler for that answer.

We were pretty sure Hayden Panettiere had the jailbait market cornered, but she's apparently got nothing on Danah Alleyne.

While the dust is settling for Akon after his simulated rape of a 15-year-old Minister's daughter on stage in Trinidad, some racy photos of the girl have emerged ... on (where else) her MySpace page.

Danah Alleyne, or as she call herself on MySpace, "Diva Trixie," claims to be 19 and writes, "I'm a BITCH oh well... ima bitch, ive got class, mess wid me and i'll kick ur ass!"

We'll keep that in mind, Diva Trixie. Sounds like a line straight out of the Kristin Cavallari playbook from Season 2 of Laguna Beach.

Anyway. It seems to the Gossip that a 15-year-old searching for her identity may not want to go looking for it in an 18-and-over club... or an Akon show.

Just the same, Danah has posted a picture from the night of the controversial event (below), and the caption says, "girls nite out! best time!!"

Um, yeah. Not quite the way she described it the Trinidad Express.

The rapper is in hot water after inviting Danah Alleyne on stage, under the guise of giving her the chance to win a trip to Africa.

But the "trip to Africa," the Trinidad Express reports turned out to be more like a trip on the baloney pony. Akon was "turning, twisting and even flipping [her] body," "mimicking sexual positions" and "sandwiching" the girl with the aid of another performer.

The recent collaborator of Snoop Dogg and Eminem and tour-mate of Gwen Stefani was axed by his sponsor, Verizon, and may face legal action over his antics - what officials are calling a "simulated rape" of the girl.

Look at her face, though. While our celebrity gossip writers aren't taking sides, this discovery certainly casts doubt on her supposed unwillingness to let Akon smack that.

Interestingly, since the posting of this story, which first appeared on TMZ, little Miss Danah set her MySpace page to "private." Hmm.

If Paris Hilton were looking for time off from her jail sentence for proper spelling, well, that would be really odd.

But it would also be counterproductive considering a recent posting on her MySpace account.

In her most recent entry, the soon-to-be prison member pleaded with fans to sign an online petition started by her friend Joshua Capone. Well, actually, Paris asked that you "help and sihn" it, which we assume means to affix your signature to the document. But you never know.

But why should you do so? Why assist someone whose sole contribution to the universe is a sex tape and an endless feud with Lindsay Lohan? Because, according to Hilton herself, she "provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world."

She must be referring to the hope that you, too, can get famous for getting nude on video. Jennifer Toof and Olivia Mojica have certainly learned from this example.

So, will Paris get her jail sentence reduced? Don't count on it. Word has it that the best she can do is 39 days in the clink. Fortunately, she may have seemingly nice guy Ty Pennington to keep her company.

Harry Morton slept with the STD farm known as Lindsay Lohan.

This should prove he doesn't have a very good head on his shoulders.

But in case you needed more proof of the full deck Morton isn't playing with, check this out: the former celebrity boyfriend has started a legal war with the person who, posing as Harry, posted naked pictures of his friends on a MySpace page. Just one hiccup:

Morton doesn't know who he's suing.

We haven't laughed this hard at a MySpace-related event since Melissa Joan Hart told off Chris Daughtry.

In a lawsuit filed Thursday in Los Angeles County Superior court, Morton is going after an unknown cyber-troublemaker he calls "Jane Doe." In the suit, Morton claims "Doe" posted nude photographs of one of his friends (no, not Sean Stewart nude) and a false statement that the friend had AIDS.

Morton alleges that the fake page was created to give the impression he had created it himself.

The owner of the famous Pink Taco restaurant chain says he suffered "emotional distress," was forced to "rehabilitate his reputation" and "lost business" due to the MySpace debacle. This all implies that Morton had a reputation beyond Firecrotch Queen Conquerer in the first place.

Our celebrity gossip sources were unable to contact Jane Doe, either. Because nobody knows who she is.

Readers of The Hollywood Gossip: we have a new leader in the race for Most Absurd, Hilarious, Mean-Spirited MySpace Exchange Among Celebrities.

In the beginning, it seemed as though Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker had this award all sewn up. He did, after all, make a reference to her sleeping with someone else in their bed.

Ouch! But then Jenna Jameson and Jay Grdina unleashed their blogging fangs. And now Alexa Ray Joel has even gotten into the act. Celebs turn to their online accounts these days more often than diet pills and personal assistants combined.

Despite all this competition, though, the new MySpace feud between Kim Kardashian and Haylie Duff may take the immature cake.

As you can see in the exchanges we've posted, these two famous females became friends through Paris Hilton. This was obviously their first mistake. But contact is made when Duff attempts to apologize for "whatever I've said about you." Sounds heartfelt to us.

Kardashian appears to accept, though, saying she was sorry to Haylie for that little "stupid cunt" remark and saying not to listen to Paris because she's a "stupid lesbian." Looks like the Kim/Paris feud is certainly legit.

From there, though, the niceties ended.

Haylie accepted an invitation to see DJ AM spin (who wouldn't?), but Kim shot back: "im i forgot i dont hang out with horses plus im busy. slut. [sic]" Such an attack riled Hilary Duff's older sister, who posted the following on her MySpace page:

This is why you should never move to Hollywood, the place is full of arrogant, immature, and offensive b****** who can't hold their liquor and can't keep their legs closed. 

Pictures of Kim Kardashian nude and taking it from Ray J do prove that latter point.

So, where is this feud headed, aside from the MySpace Hall of Fame? It's hard to say. For now, though, it's simply distracting the online world from focusing on photos of Shyamali Malakar on her account. And that's shame.

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Until yesterday, we knew Alexa Ray Joel as the daughter of prolific musician Billy Joel, a terrific singer in her own right, and an all-around nice, grounded person.

The product of Joel's past marriage to Christie Brinkley, the 21-year-old served as maid of honor in Joel's recent marriage to former Top Chef host Katie Lee Joel.

Now she's serving Perez Hilton with a message:

Back off.

Alexa Ray Joel was thrust into the spotlight Sunday when she responded to a picture of her posted on the exponentially overrated, unfunny site, PerezHilton.com.

Venting via her MySpace page, Alexa Ray called Perez Hilton "quite dangerous," and was sickened to see commenters "picking apart the appearance" of her "8 year-old sister."

Yesterday, Alexa Ray clarified her opinion for Us Weekly:

"To paraphrase my father, he always said: 'don't take crap from anybody.' I've had a lot of people advise me in this industry to get a thicker skin and turn a blind eye to the vicious trends of the tabloid publications and celebrity gossip sites, and their dangerous effects on young women, and society in general. But if I were to follow their advice, and do nothing, I feel I would only be perpetuating something which I believe to be fundamentally wrong. I stand by my original posting."

Interesting guidance. To paraphrase Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler, MySpace is the place to vent all of your frustrations about marriage, love, life, etc.

Alexa, who Perez called "no supermodel," came to the defense of herself and also her half-sister, Brinkley's daughter with her latest estranged ex, Peter Cook, who was criticized by commenters on the a-hole's posting.

There's more excitement over there than a night in Vegas with Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline.

First, Shanna Moakler made perfectly good use of her MySpace account during her feud with Travis Barker. Since then, the couple has reunited.

Now, the former Miss USA and Dancing with the Stars contestant is taking to her online world again - in order to publish the contact information of Paris and Lindsay Lohan. No, seriously.

Shanna's swipe at the two airheads was a response to a blog posted on the MySpace page of Harry Morton, which gave out Shanna's contact info. Morton, of course, is Lohan's ex. Shanna believes that one of the girls is running Harry's page, and that the hard-partying starlets hacked into Shanna's phone and MySpace.

"I know for a fact he (Harry) does NOT have a MySpace account," Moakler says on her site.

A spokesperson for Lindsay - who just recently had her MySpace page hacked into supposedly - told TMZ, however: "Those are not her e-mail addresses."

It's complicated stuff, we know. You're better off just taking a look at the account of Shyamali Malakar. There are just nude guitar-playing pictures there. None of this other nonsense.

We all know how easy it is to get into the pants of Lindsay Lohan.

For one Internet hacker, reportedly, it's also a breeze to get into her Gmail, BlackBerry and MySpace accounts.

According to reports, someone has invaded the privacy of Lohan and released various, hilarious emails between her and other troubled celebrities. For example, there's the following email exchange with Shanna Moakler:

It's nice to see the two pals bonding over Travis Barker updates.

In other alleged email news, Lindsay and Stavros Niarchos haven't been getting along too well. Of course, as shown below, when Lohan says "fu" to someone, she probably just wants to have sex with him.

Not surprisingly, though, Lohan's harshest exchange is with occasional friend, Paris Hilton. The Firecrotch Queen appears royally ticked off that Paris' pal and Hollywood gossip columnist, Perez Hilton, is always bashing her:

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