by Free Britney at . Comments

Want the inside scoop on the breakup between Laguna Beach alumni Lauren Conrad and boyfriend Jason Wahler?

You know, the one that happened sometime after the season finale of The Hills, but that wasn't shown on TV?

  • Douchenozzle
  • A Lauren Conrad Bikini Pic

Well, who better to deliver the news, albeit in disjointed, convoluted fashion, than Jason himself. On his MySpace blog, he details the rumors... the turmoil... the drama... the anguish... *sniff*

Frankly, MTV bad boy Jason (left) always struck the editors at THG as a bit of a drama queen, not a very good boyfriend to Lauren, and a self-centered meathead.

With circa 1996 frosted hair. But that's just us, and beside the point.

Here's excerpts from his blog, if you want to know Jason's take on LC, their breakup, and life in general.

If there's one thing we learned from it, it's that being rich does not necessarily guarantee you a good education in this country.

And that just because you write many paragraphs about something does not mean they contain anything useful. Note that below is the abridged version...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright so in the past week I've recieved [sic] tons of comments and emails saying things basically referring to Lauren & Mine's [sic] relationship. First and foremost its obviously non [sic] of your business, But theres been scandals/reports of people saying different things of why we broke up and so on....

... Let me first begin this by saying Lauren and I are not together anymore. The media has gotten the biggest kick out of it and so on. And as they seem to call it 'funny' I dont think its very funny myself... Their [sic] saying I went phycho [sic] and she broke it off with me, I was flirting with girls and so on... The next paragraph will explain the true and honest story.

... Starting around Mid/Late July after we got back from our trip, we just constantly started arguing. I'd call her and she'd be busy and couldn't talk, so she'd call me later and I didn't have time to talk. And that basically went on for about a week. Then when we finally found the time to be around each other, things just seemed to slowly drift apart.

... It's not that we didnt wanna be around each other, we just simply had nothing really to say. So withen [sic] the next week we hung out a couple times and every time we hung out it just got further and further apart to the part where it just looked like we didnt even know each other. So I basically went up to Laguna for the weekend and when I came back to Los Angeles things have just compleetly [sic] changed.

... Then all it took was me to say "so is this the end" and thats when the downpour came. We constantly fought and argued for about a week, until we just decided that we couldnt be together anymore, and our relationship just wasnt working. I was out at clubs partying, and she was doing the same and our trust for each other faded. Either way you put the relationship, it wasn't my fault, and it wasn't her fault. It just happened that way, and I'm sorry that it had too but it was the best for both of us.

... To be honest and truthfull [sic] saying goodbye to a relationship that had lasted to long with a person that I cared so much for, hurt more than anything. I would have given it all to make it work, but I put my best effort foreward [sic] and so did she and sometimes things just don't always work out the way you plan for them too.

... The only thing you can do is save their memories, keep them in your heart, and move on with your life. Which is exactly what I'm going to do. No matter what happens in life I'll always wish Lauren the best and I really hope she finds 'the one' I'm just sorry I wasnt it.

... As far as the future looks as of right now, there really isn't much of a chance for use to be together again. We're both moving foreward [sic], and hoping for the best. As of right now were just 'friends' were not good friends and were not enemys [sic].

... We dont ignore each other, but yet again we dont go out of our way to hang out. I still love her more than anything, she was my first true love. I wish her nothing but hapiness and success in life and her career.

... Maybey [sic] after the reading of this you will see me more than just 'laguna beaches [sic] bad boy' ... or at least id [sic] hope so."

by Free Britney at . Comments

Kevin Federline, a.k.a. the biggest dirtbag to ever grace the pages of the tabloids (or the Earth), is out to reshape his image. Or at least his page on the ever-popular myspace.com.

The husband of Britney Spears has abandoned his official MySpace page name, "kevinfederlineforreal," in favor of the more conventional "kevinfederline."

Kevin Federline Peace

However, within hours of giving up his former handle, which yesterday was still being linked from his under-construction home page, kevinfederline.com, some smart ass took over "kevinfederlineforreal" and was posting under the moniker KeV.

The Federline impostor writes that he's 22 and single, adding that he doesn't want kids. Come on, man. If you're going to impersonate a jackass celebrity on myspace, at least try to make the profile realistic. What's next? Are you gonna say you have a job? Or clothes that fit?

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