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Kanye West will be returning to the scene of the crime, or at least the scene of one of the biggest jackass moves in award show history. Imma let you finish!

A year after infamously interrupting Taylor Swift's speech on stage, Kanye West is set to return to the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday, September 12.

It's Kanye!

The Grammy-winning rapper's fifth studio album is expected to drop this fall. He debuted a video "painting" for the first single, "Power," on MTV last week.

A follow-up single is also expected to be released by West in the next couple of weeks, and that's not nearly all from the talented, egomaniac artist.

Kanye Tweeted yesterday: "More music ... I'm bout to drop a bunch of sh!t this yea ... surprise performances ... guest verses ... living in the studio."

You've been warned, award winners.

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When she's not making headlines with revealing Vanity Fair covers and interviews, Lady Gaga is smashing records on the charts and in music award shows.

The star scored 13 MTV Video Music Awards nominations – the most ever received by an artist in a single year. The hardware is handed out September 12.

The Incomparable Lady Gaga

"I'm so honored for the little monsters and self-professed freaks of the universe, to have more VMA nominations in a single year than any artist," says Gaga.

"Ironically, I'm even more proud it's an unlucky number: 13."

"A long time ago, the world told me and my little monsters we would never be heard, together we changed the rules. God put me on Earth for three reasons: To make loud music, gay videos and cause a damn raucous. Thank you, MTV!"

That sums it up. We'd call her arrogant, but she's just too entertaining and forthright. She even plays off the Lady Gaga hermaphrodite rumors. It's great.

Among those lucky 13 nominations: best pop video, best dance music video, best female video and best choreography for her hit single, "Bad Romance."

The singer, who's also up for best collaboration for "Telephone" with Beyoncé, may be competing with herself more than anyone else. Her smash hits "Bad Romance" and "Telephone" are both up for best choreography and video of the year.

Congrats to Lady Gaga on the well-deserved recognition!

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Past and present co-stars Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz are among the first presenters announced for this year's MTV Movie Awards, according to reports.

We haven't seen Mr. Crazy Pants in awhile, so that should be exciting. Hopefully there's a couch for him to jump on ... or a montage of Suri Cruise photos.

The actors will be joined on the celebrity telecast by Diddy, who is also a confirmed presenter. All this should make for an exciting, star-studded evening.

In addition, MTV has announced three new categories in this year's show: Biggest Bad-Ass Star; Best Scared-As-S--- Performance and Global Superstar.

Tom and Cameron

Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz on the set of Knight and Day.

For the first time, fans abroad will also have the chance to vote in the latter category by visiting their local MTV sites. North American fans can vote for their favorite nominees in all the categories beginning May 12 through June 5.

This year's MTV Movie Awards will be hosted by Aziz Ansari (known for some of the funniest Parks and Recreation quotes) and will air live on June 6 at 9 p.m.

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MTV is taking Jersey Shore abroad, hoping that international viewers will tune in to see The Situation chase broads and be as captivated as we are.

The network is promoting the shore lifestyle - at least the lifestyle on the show, which stoked local anger - in a new ads called “Get Jersey Shored.”

MTV executives say they believe that despite Jersey Shore quotes not making sense elsewhere, the "Jersey Shore narrative" is universally appealing.

One of the overseas print ads for the show sums it up: “Muscles + gel + tanning bed = sex.” They left out laundry, right Pauly D? Still, point taken.

Jersey Shore Goes Abroad

Is the rest of the planet ready for Jersey Shore?

With the campaign, MTV is testing whether Jersey Shore truly has global appeal. If it does, there’s obviously a tremendous amount of money to be made there.

Jersey Shore premiered in the U.S. last December, and “seems likely to be a consensus choice for most appalling show of 2009,” The New York Times wrote.

Now the show will make its debut on MTV’s international channels. The network will also sell the show to third-party syndicators beginning next month.

Season Two is coming to an unnamed city that's likely Miami soon.

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Spencer Pratt may have a hot new single and a ridiculous house in Hollywood thanks to his success on The Hills, but the Jersey Shore cast is not impressed.

Asked about The Hills cast, Jersey's Ronnie Magro said of his fellow MTV reality stars: "I’m not crazy about them. We’re doing better than them right now."

"They’re really not that big of a deal," Ronnie adds, noting that the only thing the West Coasters can do better than the Shore guidos is "outspend" them.

The guidettes would welcome a throwdown as well.

"It would be awesome to do The Hills versus Jersey Shore, like Real World/Road Rules Challenge. We would torture them," Jenni "J-WOWW" Farley said.

"We’d ruin them,” she said. “I’d take on all six girls!"

Cast of Jersey Shore

The cast of Jersey Shore thinks it's already out of The Hills' league.

According to Mike Sorrentino, a.k.a. "The Situation," he and his fellow cast members already had a Hills run-in, and it was clear who was looking up at who.

“Somebody called our publicist in L.A. and said, 'The girls from The Hills want to sit next to you in a club,'" The Situation said. “As soon as we walked in, I saw some girl running at me. That happens a lot to us, so we didn’t know who."

"She almost tackled me. I went, ‘Oh, she’s kinda cute.’ Then I saw it was Kristin Cavallari. I like to think that I’ve always had it like this, but not to this extent!”

We can only hope for a crossover episode featuring Justin-Bobby and Kristin's fake relationship intertwined with ridiculous Jersey Shore quotes. Give it time.

Perhaps the biggest sign they’ve made it? Snooki and The Situation were parodied on Saturday Night Live. “I thought it was hilarious,” Snooki, a.k.a. Nicole Polizzi, said of Bobby Moynihan’s SNL Snooki parody of her. "He said what I would say."

Which MTV show's cast do you like better?

 

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Jersey Shore is MTV's newest reality "hit."

But advertisers can't wait to hit the road.

After a flat-out ridiculous series premiere, Domino's Pizza pulled its ads from the show. American Family Insurance noticed its ads running and did the same.

The episode, which "outraged" at least one major Italian group, is going to be running only promos for other crappy MTV shows during breaks at this rate.

That said if you're an advertiser looking to sell hair gel, fist-pumping instructional DVDs, tramp stamps, spinning rims or gold chains, there are openings!

The cast of MTV's Jersey Shore. It's a lifestyle.

Meanwhile, according to new reports, the Jersey Shore Conventions and Tourism Board isn't smitten with the way their turf comes off on the program.

The tagline of "hottest, tannest, craziest Guidos" may play a role in that.

"We're flattered that MTV thinks we're an interesting enough destination to warrant an entire reality series," the tourism group said in a statement.

"But the national TV audience is hardly getting the full story." MTV is providing a one-dimensional, dramatized version of a very small group of visitors."

"We welcome visitors to come here, even during the holiday season, to enjoy a cultural diversity that in no way reflects what is seen on MTV."

We would really, really hope so.

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"I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet." - Sammi

"After I have sex with a guy, I will rip their heads off." - Jenni

"Guidos... when we stop, our chrome keeps spinnin'! I was born and raised a Guido. It's just a lifestyle. It's about bein' Italian. It's representin' family, friends, tanning, gel, everything. Dude I got a f**kin' tanning bed in my place, that's how serious I am about bein' a Guido and living up to that lifestyle. My tagline is 'I'm Your Girl's Favorite DJ.' I want the girls to c** in their pants when they hear my music." - Pauly D

It suddenly makes perfect sense why MTV renewed The Hills and The City despite sagging ratings and dwindling fan bases. The network's new shows are worse!

On this week's debut of Jersey Shore, which we've been waiting for since the Guido-hyping promo, eight roomies moved into a Seaside Heights, N.J., home.

The quotes above sum it up as well as we can in this space. Here's the full Jersey Shore premiere, which really has to be seen to be believed ...

If we were residents of New Jersey, we'd probably be incredibly offended ... unless we were the types who had tanning beds in our homes. Then we'd be all for it.

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Falling ratings and lackluster recent seasons aside, MTV evidently felt the positives outweighed the negatives with The Hills and its NYC spinoff The City.

Both will return for new seasons next year!

The Hills, which just aired its fifth season finale Tuesday, was itself a spinoff of the popular Laguna Beach, and a must-see among the crucial 18-34 demo.

Ratings dive-bombed with the departure of Lauren Conrad and the introduction of less appealing characters and fairly vanilla stories this season, however.

The second half of Season Five began in September with just 2.1 million viewers, a sharp decline of around 50 percent from its previous season premieres.

Get ready for new seasons of Kristin, Whitney and cohorts!

Kristin Cavallari, Conrad's former rival on Laguna Beach, took Lauren's place as the series' main protagonist, earning some praise but also much criticism.

Meanwhile, The City, starring Hills alumna Whitney Port, also got the green light for a third season after its similarly mediocre episode a few nights ago.

In its first season, it focused on Whitney, both personally and professionally. This season it tried to be a "workplace drama." Reviews are still mixed.

Can The Hills recapture the drama-crazed, bitchy, guiltily addictive magic of seasons past? Can The City decide what it wants to be?

That remains to be seen, but they'll get a shot!

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Truth is stranger than fiction, and some things you simply couldn't make up.

This was true in the case of Carrie Prejean on Larry King last night, an interview a hissy fit conjuring up memories of pre-school as it awkwardly played out.

It is also true of the trailer for MTV's new series Jersey Shore, which airs its first (and hopefully last) episode December 3 on that sad excuse for a network.

Remember when MTV's reason for being was to play and talk about music? At some point they decided this had run its course, and instead, they would focus on their "original" programming. The only problem? It's all unwatchable dreck.

Tuesday night during The City, the first promo for Jersey Shore aired, with an enticing hook: "MTV is taking you inside a shore house like you have never seen, full of the hottest, tannest, craziest Guidos!" Yes, they said guidos. Really:

If you want to watch a bunch of losers who "keep their hair high, their muscles juiced, and their fists pumping all summer long," this is the show for you!

And you need to see a psychiatrist ASAP.

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When it comes to honoring true music talent ... watch something else. The MTV Video Music Awards do none of that. It's an arbitrary award show on a network called Music Television that no longer airs music videos.

But when it comes to celebrity fashion, gossip, rumors, random feuds, meltdowns and buzz-worthy events, the VMAs are in a league of their own.

Here are some of the highlights (and lowlights, thanks to that d!ck Kanye West) from the 2009 MTV VMAs, which aired Sunday, September 13 ...

  • After Taylor Swift took home the prized Moon Man for Best Female Video, Kanye West hjiacked her speech with a belligerent, absurd tirade.
  • Later, Kanye apologized for his outburst, using way too many exclamation points and saying he was just being "real." Yeah. A real a$$hole.
  • Fans and celebs alike decried Kanye's outburst, with the most scathing and hilarious reply coming from an unlikely source: Kelly Clarkson.
  • The much-anticipated Janet Jackson tribute to Michael featured her dancing along to the music and video of their classic duet, "Scream."
  • MTV also aired a preview of This Is It, the documentary footage showing MJ preparing for the tour that was to begin shortly after he died.
  • OMG: An extended New Moon trailer was unveiled.

Irate, drunk jackass Kanye West inexplicably cut off the adorable Taylor Swift and declared that Beyonce more deserving of a completely made-up award.

  • Alicia Keys and Jay-Z's performance was crashed by Lil Mama. Not Kanye style, she just danced along and hilariously posed with them at the end.
  • On a fashion note, Kristin Cavallari and Katy Perry wore, like, the same dress. Or at least dresses of the same color, length, and general appeal.
  • Pink and Shakira seriously wore the same dress though. Faux pas!
  • These girls Knowles fashion: Both Beyonce and Solange shined.
  • Who needs a dress? Whitney Port opted to wear sexy lingerie.
  • Naturally, and predictably, Lady Gaga was not to be outdone.
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