MTV Gossip

Truth is stranger than fiction, and some things you simply couldn't make up.

This was true in the case of Carrie Prejean on Larry King last night, an interview a hissy fit conjuring up memories of pre-school as it awkwardly played out.

It is also true of the trailer for MTV's new series Jersey Shore, which airs its first (and hopefully last) episode December 3 on that sad excuse for a network.

Remember when MTV's reason for being was to play and talk about music? At some point they decided this had run its course, and instead, they would focus on their "original" programming. The only problem? It's all unwatchable dreck.

Tuesday night during The City, the first promo for Jersey Shore aired, with an enticing hook: "MTV is taking you inside a shore house like you have never seen, full of the hottest, tannest, craziest Guidos!" Yes, they said guidos. Really:

If you want to watch a bunch of losers who "keep their hair high, their muscles juiced, and their fists pumping all summer long," this is the show for you!

And you need to see a psychiatrist ASAP.

When it comes to honoring true music talent ... watch something else. The MTV Video Music Awards do none of that. It's an arbitrary award show on a network called Music Television that no longer airs music videos.

But when it comes to celebrity fashion, gossip, rumors, random feuds, meltdowns and buzz-worthy events, the VMAs are in a league of their own.

Here are some of the highlights (and lowlights, thanks to that d!ck Kanye West) from the 2009 MTV VMAs, which aired Sunday, September 13 ...

• After Taylor Swift took home the prized Moon Man for Best Female Video, Kanye West hjiacked her speech with a belligerent, absurd tirade.
• Later, Kanye apologized for his outburst, using way too many exclamation points and saying he was just being "real." Yeah. A real a$$hole.
• Fans and celebs alike decried Kanye's outburst, with the most scathing and hilarious reply coming from an unlikely source: Kelly Clarkson.
• The much-anticipated Janet Jackson tribute to Michael featured her dancing along to the music and video of their classic duet, "Scream."
• MTV also aired a preview of This Is It, the documentary footage showing MJ preparing for the tour that was to begin shortly after he died.
• OMG: An extended New Moon trailer was unveiled.

Irate, drunk jackass Kanye West inexplicably cut off the adorable Taylor Swift and declared that Beyonce more deserving of a completely made-up award.

• Alicia Keys and Jay-Z's performance was crashed by Lil Mama. Not Kanye style, she just danced along and hilariously posed with them at the end.
• On a fashion note, Kristin Cavallari and Katy Perry wore, like, the same dress. Or at least dresses of the same color, length, and general appeal.
• Pink and Shakira seriously wore the same dress though. Faux pas!
• These girls Knowles fashion: Both Beyonce and Solange shined.
• Who needs a dress? Whitney Port opted to wear sexy lingerie.
• Naturally, and predictably, Lady Gaga was not to be outdone.

Not sure if this is true, MTV is pulling a fast one or somewhere in between, but The Hills star Audrina Patridge has reportedly pulled out of her presenting duties at this evening's MTV Video Music Awards in New York City.

The reason? She was to be presenting with Kristin Cavallari.

And she wasn't about to take part with her new fake rival.

"Audrina hates Kristin, and MTV sprung this on her at the last minute so she decided to cancel," a source dished to celeb gossip mag In Touch Weekly.

"She doesn't even want to be in the same room with Kristin."

The primary reason for the bad blood is drama - fake or real - caused by Kristin's reported dalliances with Audzo's dirtbag ex-boyfriend, Justin-Bobby.

According to reports, the stylist and hair and makeup team working with Audrina Patridge were even warned not to book a job with another Hills star.

Kristin is said to be "more than pleased" by Audrina's last-minute cancellation. Either there's a major cat fight brewing, or this is great scripted BS PR.

Says a friend of Cavallari's, who probably produces The Hills: "Kristin is happy. They never got along and Kristin is the star of The Hills, not Audrina."

Fightin' words! Whose side are you on?

September 13 marks the first full day of NFL action this season.

But while grown men around the country are getting ready for some football, teenage girls will be preparing themselves for some hot Robert Pattinson action!

MTV has announced that it will air a new set of clips for New Moon during that evening's Video Music Awards. This follows a new tradition for the network: at this summer's MTV Movie Awards, fans were treated to the first official trailer for the Twilight sequel.

If you somehow missed it, or just wanna relive the awesomeness, enjoy:

Moreover, we can confirm that Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner will be on hand to present the video at the event. Might there be another near-kiss between the former pair of co-stars?!?

The ceremony airs at 9 p.m. EST on MTV. We understand if you need to leave your computer for a few moments to go set a DVR recording.

But hurry back!

Set to premiere September 13, the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards are coming up. Before you know it, Russell Brand will be on stage ripping the Jonas Brothers.

It's not an event you want to miss.

Below, a number of today's top music stars, which the event theoretically honors, preview the enormous, albeit arbitrary awards with nice promotional photos.

From left, Katy Perry (up for best video for her hit "Hot N Cold"), Cobra Starship (up for best pop video), Taylor Swift (nominated for best video for "You Belong with Me") and Ne-Yo (presenter and best male video nominee for "Miss Independent").

Click to enlarge the photos below ...

The Hills star Audrina Patridge agreed to go on the new season of Dancing With the Stars, according to reports, only to have MTV shoot down her dreams.

"They won't let Audrina do it," a source dished to E! Online.

"They told her it would be impossible because of scheduling."

However, The Hills doesn't usually shoot on Mondays and Tuesdays, the two days Audrina would be at DWTS for the performance and elimination shows.

"Audrina Patridge wants to do it. Everyone around her wants her to do it," the source said. "But MTV, for some reason, won't make it happen."

Dashed are Audrina Patridge's dreams of going Dancing with the Stars.

"Why wouldn't they want someone from The Hills on such a huge show? Dancing With the Stars would give MTV all this exposure, but they won't budge."

It would also let Audrina be herself instead of reading cue cards all the time and pretending to care about staged fights with Justin-Bobby. Bummer.

Audrina is currently developing her own reality show with Mark Burnett.

Other possible DWTS contenders in Season 9 are said to be Vera Wang, Dean McDermott, Lou Ferrigno and, per a report yesterday, La Toya Jackson.

Sounds like a crew that needs Audrina to spice things up. Weak.

After controversially hosting the MTV Video Music Awards last year, Russell Brand is back to host the awards again on September 13 in New York City.

The zany British comic ruffled feathers at last year’s made up, but still entertaining ceremony when he joked that the Jonas Brothers should be taking advantage of their celebrity status to get laid and mocked the concept of "purity rings."

Our personal favorite joke came at the expense of both the Brothers Jonas and then-ridiculously unpopular President George W. Bush, as Brand quipped:

"I feel sorry for Americans. Eight years of Bush! The only people who need eight years of bush are the Jonas Brothers, crammed into one bachelor party."

Just leave Danielle Deleasa out of it this year, okay Russ?

Russell Brand is running it back at the VMAs again this September.

“We are thrilled that despite numerous death threats from Jonas Brothers fans, Russell Brand has accepted our offer to put his life on the line and host the VMAs again this year,” MTV’s general manager, Stephen Friedman, said.

Taylor Swift will also appear on the live show, performing a new version of “You Belong With Me.” We can hear the inappropriate comments from Brand now.

While Brand was panned by many, the 2008 VMAs reached more than 23 million viewers, a 15 percent boost from the 2007 hostless edition of the VMAs (best remembered for Britney Spears' disastrous performance of "Gimme More").

Unlike other networks, MTV knows how to host a movie awards show.

At last night's annual event, celebrities from all industries walked the red carpet, the New Moon trailer premiered and Kiefer Sutherland cried hysterically into the arms of Ben Stiller.

But two events stand out the most from the evening:

1. A half-naked Sacha Baron Cohen (in his character of Bruno) fell into Eminem's lap. At the sight, and touch, of Bruno's bare buttocks, Eminem fumed: "Are you serious? Get the **** off me!," before storming out of his seat.
2. After their win for best kiss, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart stood at the podium and came... so... close... to... kissing.

Here's a look at each of the memorable occurrences:

Which MTV Movie Awards development was most shocking?

Britney Spears opened up, then won big at last night's 2008 MTV Video Music Awards, taking home three awards, including Video of the Year.

She kicked off the show in a pre-taped skit with actor Jonah Hill - yes, he of the laugh-out-loud Superbad quotes. That movie was so funny.

This skit? Not so much. Here's the video ...

Yeah. Fortunately, the night got better for Britney after that. After the segment, Spears, in sexy, sparkly halter dress, walked on stage as "Baby One More Time" blared. She then won Best Female Video for "Piece of Me."

"I'm speechless... Oh, my goodness, thank you!" an elated, giggly Spears told the crowd. "I first wanna thank God for blessing me like this. My family ... my two beautiful boys [Sean and Jayden] for inspiring me everyday."

She later took home the award for Best Pop Video, telling the crowd again that she was "speechless" and thanking longtime manager Larry Rudolph. Britney Spears then closed out the night by winning Video of the Year.

"I'm in shock right now," she said. "I want to dedicate this to all my fans."

Are you the slightest bit surprised by this headline?

You shouldn't be. The Hills' gruesome twosome has reportedly been talking to the network that made them famous about their upcoming nuptials.

As in a live telecast of their upcoming nuptials.

Heidi Montag reportedly told MTV programming and development honcho Tony DiSanto that they're ready to tie the knot in front of the cameras.

Surprise, surprise: DiSanto is said to be all for it!

Would you watch Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's wedding? You can admit it.

According to Spencer Pratt, their dream is a small wedding on Sir Richard Branson's private island in the Virgin Islands, with catering by Wolfgang Puck, designer watches for all guests and a live performance by U2.

Even master manipulators like Spencer and Heidi may be aiming too high with those requests, but we're sure MTV can figure out something.

Our personal suggestion is for Brody Jenner and Frankie Delgado to become ordained ministers online, then officiate the ceremony.