by Free Britney at

Last night’s Miss America pageant saw Mallory Hagan win the coveted tiara, but also offered a host of fascinating, LOL-tastic revelations from the contestants.

For example, Miss Iowa (whose real name is Mariah Carey, seriously) says she only supports marijuana for medical or recreational use ... so basically everything:

Meanwhile, Miss California Leah Cecil thinks euthanasia is a vaccine apparently:

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by Free Britney at

Mallory Hagan is Miss America 2013. The reigning, beautiful Miss New York bested the talented field to capture the prestigious pageant last night!

Mallory Hagan Photo

Fifty-three ladies danced, twirled, flashed pearly whites, worked it in bikinis and strutted their best stuff in a quest for the tiara and the scholarship cash.

In the end, the 23-year-old from Brooklyn emerged victorious.

Prior to being named Miss America, Mallory Hagan attended the Fashion Institute of Technology, eyeing a career in global cosmetics marketing.

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by Hilton Hater at

Allyn Rose will participate tomorrow night in the Miss America pageant.

Win or lose, however, the Miss DC has a far more important agenda to take care of following the event: she is scheduled to undergo a double mastectomy.

The 24-year old is doing so as a preventive measure to reduce her odds of developing the disease that took her mother, grandmother and great aunt.

Allyn Rose Bikini Photo

"My mom would have given up every part of her body to be here for me, to watch me in the pageant," Rose said Wednesday. "If there's something that I can do to be proactive, it might hurt my body, it might hurt my physical beauty, but I'm going to be alive."

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by Free Britney at

Allyn Rose, a 24-year-old Maryland native set to compete for the Miss America title next year, is planning to undergo a precautionary double mastectomy.

Allyn Rose Photo

Rose explained that she made the hard decision to have both breasts removed at such a young age because of a genetic mutation in her family's DNA.

Saying that this predisposes females in her family to get breast cancer early in their lives, Allyn decided she would take a preventative measure.

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by Hilton Hater at

Here she is... Miss America!

Congratulations are in order for Laura Kaeppeler, as this 23-year old brunette from Kenosha, Wisconsin earned the honor in Las Vegas last night, impressing judges with a chic evening gown she compared to Kate Middleton's wedding dress.

Kaeppeler sang an Italian aria for her talent, while responding to a question about whether or not Miss America winners should voice their political views by rambling on about how they represent the country as a whole and, therefore, no, should remain neutral on all such topics.

Kaeppeler earned a $50,000 scholarship for her victory and hopes to build a platform around mentoring children of incarcerated parents. She's one of those herself.

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by Hilton Hater at

Uh-oh, Sarah Palin. You might have competition on your hands.

Having just been crowned Miss America, Teresa Scanlan is not content with posing in her bathing suit and strutting across a stage for a living. This 17-year old from Nebraska has much loftier goals.

Scanlan told The Las Vegas Sun she wants to one day be a Supreme Court Justice. After that? "I certainly hope" to become president someday, she said.

Can she get there?

On her blog, Teresa makes it clear that she has the support of at least one important player: "When I found pageantry, I realized that God had prepared me for this competition by creating me to love diversity, and here was the place I could use the talents He had given me."

Will those talents take her to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave? Possibly, if citizens eventually cast their votes based on one's bikini body.

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by Hilton Hater at

Teresa Scanlan is more than the latest Miss America pageant winner. She's also a maker of history.

The 17-year old from Gering, Nebraska was named the youngest champion of all-time on Saturday night, earning the crown by performing "White Water Chopsticks" on the piano. She was the only contestant to neither sing nor dance.

A graduate of Scottsbluff High School, Scanlan has earned a $50,000 scholarship and will attend Patrick Henry College in the fall.

During her year-long tenure, Teresa said her main focus will be on eating disorders and how they affect her generation. If she can't fulfill her duties - and, really, you never know with beauty queens - the runner-up (Miss Arkansas, Alyse Eady) will take over.

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