by Nosy Neighbor at

Only The Real Housewives of New York City celebrate a party by bickering and back stabbing but perhaps that's why "The Party Is Toast."

We break down the naked models and dirty old men in THG's +/- recap.

Why oh why has someone let George leave Florida?  It's bad enough New York City must suffer its own Housewives. Must it endure their sleazy fathers? 

Dirty Dad

Minus 20. There's nothing cute or funny about George.

The constant sex jokes make me want to slap him and leave it to George to bring a sex toy to a White Elephant holiday party. George is tasteless bordering on crude and I'm with Carole. I wouldn't sit anywhere near him either.

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by Nosy Neighbor at

Only The Real Housewives of New York City can throw a Christmas party that leaves guests asking "You Want to What Me in the Where?"

We break down the entire foul-mouthed affair in THG's +/- recap!

Before we get to the dirty Santa's helpers, let's recap Sonja's logo meetings. She meets up again with Heather and her crew but adds Ramona to the mix. 

Sonja had to know this was going to get messy. What was she thinking throwing these two together? Minus 10.  

Sonja's Logo Meeting

Minus 9 to Heather and her crew as they try to push their point of view and are not always listening.  I like the silhouette of the lady in the logo and the font could be sexier.  Adding the naked guy just seems silly.

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by Nosy Neighbor at

The Real Housewives of New York City travel down to Miami to meet up with "Dirty Ol' Dad." The ladies brought their swimsuits, their heels and plenty of crazy as we recap it all in our THG +/- review.

Miami is beautiful. The sun, the sand, the surf.  Why do the Housewives have to bring along their craziness?

Aviva's Fish Face

But let's start off with Carole. Since someone is offering to make her new novel into a TV show, finishing it is kind of important. The problem is she's been working on it for four years and she's can't stand to write about her protagonist for one minute more. Minus 10. If Carole doesn't like her main character, why will any else?

Off to Miami we go where the ladies check in with Carole's friend Ranjana at her palace in the sky. Plus 11 because the place is amazing. The view is spectacular and even Aviva with her fear of heights manages to hang out on the balcony.

Ranjana shows the ladies how to do face yoga which she obviously takes quite seriously. It might sound silly but it definitely works for Ranjana. At 56 the woman has beautiful skin. Plus 8.

That Ramona and Sonja manage to act like disruptive brats is no surprise. It seems to be the way they act at all parties.

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by Nosy Neighbor at

The Real Housewives of New York City are "Blinded By the Wine" and the gorgeous Miami skyline but is it enough of a distraction against the pervert who came to dinner?  We recap the strange photography and lewd dinner conversation in our THG +/- review.

Ramona can't wait to have lunch with Carole and Sonja. She's hoping to get all the dirt on Heather when something unexpected happens. The ladies only want to bitch about LuAnn. 

Plus 7.  Ramona's more than happy to go along with that conversation, unexpected as it may be.  Little does she know what LuAnn has in store for her next.

As Ramona's saying how nice it is that she and LuAnn can at least be civil to one another in public, LuAnn's polite facade gives way to some mean spirited and oh so pretentious wine games.

Does Ramona Know Her Wine?

The set up is to blindfold Ramona in front of a crowd and ask her questions about her own wine in the hope that she'll embarrass herself.  Minus 12 to LuAnn and partner in wine snobbery Jaques. LuAnn needs to go back and read her own etiquette book. They may have found it funny but it's just plain mean to make fun of one of your guests…even Ramona.

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by Nosy Neighbor at

The Real Housewives of New York City finish off their trip to London and head back home. But "Good Trip, Bad Fall" finds the ladies in a bitter battle of royal proportions. Let's recap showdowns in our THG +/- review.

Um…what is Sonja doing?  Shouldn't someone tell her that one's face is not normally the part of one's anatomy that you usually stick in a bidet?  Plus 10 because you can always count on Sonja to do something so wacky that you can't help but laugh.

If only the rest of the Housewives had a sense of humor.

Boozy Brunch Pic

The rest of the London contingent is suffering through the Royal Wars as the Countess really gets under the Princess' skin.  Plus 8 because it does become quite funny. 

No matter what Carole says, Luann has done it and done it better. Is Luann's game of one upsmanship being done purposefully or can the Countess really not help herself. I think it's just her inherent need to believe she's better than the rest of the world.

But minus 11 because when Heather attempts to subtly call Luann out on her behavior it flies right over the Countess' head.  Luann does point out that she's had to cut many of her female friends out of her life because they became jealous, back stabbing, husband stealers. Wow. Someone still sounds a little angry.

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by Nosy Neighbor at

The Real Housewives of New York City head across the pond in "I'm U.K., You're U.K." It has everyone feeling OK, but what about those who were left behind? We recap all of the fake accents and awkward corporate cheerleading in THG's +/- recap!

Sonja, Luann, and Carole head off to London and you'd think after a red eye transatlantic flight everyone would be ready for a nap but not these girls.

Plus 10 because they're here to shop and they're not wasting a minute.

Plus 8 to Carole when she calls Luann Pumpkin Head. I couldn't help but laugh at that. Then she brushes it off by saying that she only calls her most gorgeous girlfriends by that moniker ... Is Luann really buying that?

The Real Housewives of NY Season 5 Cast

Heather's obviously looking to impress the ladies with the penthouse but there's a price to pay: they have to attend Heather's Yummie Tummie corporate dinner. Minus 12

hose Rah! Rah! company dinners can be so boring but it'a 10 times worse if you don't work there. To make things even more awkward Heather makes everybody, including the ladies stand up and say what they love about Yummie Tummie. Ugh.

If things weren't uncomfortable enough, Luann calls Carole out for not standing during her turn. Minus 9. The Countess might write books about etiquette but that was a definite dig at the Princess.

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by Nosy Neighbor at

Who wouldn't want to hang out with the cool girls?  Unfortunately, not everybody can and when we're talking about The Real Housewives of New York City, "The Cool Girls" can turn into the mean girls pretty quickly.

We'll break down the transformation in THG's +/- recap!

Let's start with the zen girl. Luann heads to The YinOva Center for some fertility acupuncture treatments.  Plus 10 for keeping an open mind or is this just grasping at straws. When she says that she and Jacques have been trying to get pregnant for over a year my jaw dropped.  How long have they been dating?

Seems like Luann hit the fast forward button on this relationship. She says she's been on prenatal vitamins for two years. Another baby has definitely been in her long term plan.

The Real Housewives of NY Season 5 Cast

Speaking of kids, how could you not feel for little Jax.  At seven years old he's had a liver transplant, is on daily immunosuppressant drugs, and wears hearing aids.

That's a lot for any adult to handle, never mind a kid.  Plus 15 to Heather bringing up the importance of organ donation and what a difference it can make to so many lives.

From organ donation we jump to a conversation about bow blouses as Aviva and Sonja ooh and ahh over one Sonja found in the back of her closet.

Minus 5 because the transition from the meaningful to the inane is jarring.

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by Nosy Neighbor at

Just when I thought this season of The Real Housewives of New York City might end up being the new housewives versus the old, "Diss-Invite" turned that fear upside down.

It's actually become all of the housewives against Ramona. Who saw that coming? So let's break it all down in our THG +/- recap.

First off, what do you think of the new housewives? When the opening conversation between Aviva and Carole consisted of what they'd eaten for breakfast…Aviva ate a hard boiled egg and Carole a sugar cookie for those who missed that fascinating tidbit…I thought about going to bed early. Minus 12.

Are these women just that boring or do I need to get some more sleep?

The Real Housewives of NY Season 5 Cast

When Ramona showed up with gifts I was surprised by Aviva's comments. I realized that Ramona's pimping her own skin care line but it was still nice of her to hand out presents. Minus 5 to Aviva for the sarcasm.

Ramona's searching for Heather haters but it didn't seem to be working. As both Ramona and Heather talk too much a talking intervention was proposed. Wait. Would we still have a show if they all shut up?

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by Nosy Neighbor at

The Real Housewives of New York City somehow take a "Boozy Brunch" and turn in into a trip to London. Come on, admit it. You wish you could too.

We'll break down how they did it in THG's +/- recap!

What do you think of the new girls? I'm giving them a Minus 10. Were they really complaining about the traffic in NYC? Boring. This is not what I tuned in to see. I think they're making me miss the old crew.

Boozy Brunch Pic

And Ramona and Luann are already ditching them but Sonja joins their brunch and it quickly turns into drinks at a rooftop bar. Plus 8 for keeping things moving.

I'm not sure what to make of Aviva. On the one hand she has issues on top of her issues. My first instinct was to hit her with a Minus 9 for the multiple phobias.

She's afraid of flying, heights, and she's claustrophobic. Then she explains it stems from her traumatic childhood accident where she lost her leg and suddenly I feel like a heel so I'll add the points back with one extra.  Plus 10.

Aviva's husband, Reid joins the girls because Aviva needs the backup. Apparently it's the heights thing with the rooftop bar. Everyone is all aflutter because Reid doesn't wear a wedding ring and Sonja is downright appalled. 

Minus 11 for making such a big deal out of it. I think it's between Aviva and Reid and no one else's business. If the guy's going to cheat he's going to cheat. A metal band on his finger isn't about to stop him.

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by Nosy Neighbor at

The Real Housewives of New York City prove yet again that you can dress them up but you can't take them out. "Say What You Mean, Just Don't Say it Mean" gave everyone a chance to shine. Too bad no one actually did. 

We break down all of the fake smiles, fake friendships, and fake breasts in this week's official THG +/- recap!

The Real Housewives of NY Season 5 Cast

Heather, Aviva and their husbands meet up for a fancy dinner on the town to get to know one another better. That sounds civil enough. That's until Heather breaks out with how well she knows Aviva's ex-husband. Apparently it's well enough that she knows he slept with both Luann and Sonja!

Minus 10. Is this really appropriate dinner conversation? Nothing like talking about your friend's ex's sex life to put her at ease.

But they also talked religion where Heather announces that although she's never officially converted to Judaism, she considers herself Jewish by injection for how long she's slept with her Jewish husband. Groan. Minus 8.

Aviva earns a Plus 11. When her hubby asks what's the worst that can go wrong when he goes dirt biking for the first time, Aviva responds with, "Yeah honey. You could lose a leg and we can match."  I know it's a bit morbid but it made me laugh.

Just when I thought this dinner would be the most awkward affair of the night, we move on to a meeting that's even worse.

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