by Free Britney at . Comments

When an insane sorority girl email from a University of Maryland student to her Delta Gamma sisters leaked online, people were stunned. Appalled.

Shocked. Falling over laughing. So many emotions.

Whatever you made of her strongly-worded expletive-ridden rant, it clearly required a spoke-word reading by a performer with gravitas. Enter Michael Shannon.

Watch below as the thespian (Boardwalk Empire, Take Shelter, Revolutionary Road) and his commanding presence bring the email to life for Funny or Die:

While the text of the email posted by THG initially listed the author's name as Julia, she was later revealed as Rebecca Martinson. Well played, Rebecca.

Now please see the UMD Counseling office.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Cats. They rule the Internet. Here's reason #385,201 why.

Our feline companions often amuse us in surprising ways. Like in this case, when an unnamed Russian kitty found the end of a vacuum cleaner hose quite irresistible.

The hose briefly attempts to engulf its face, but the orange cat is undeterred. In fact, he then proceeds to grip it like a bong and hit that piece over and over!

We know. It's a slow news day.

Posted on Thursday of last week, this cat video is already approaching 3.5 million views. More than a few of whom have made bong-related comments.

Appropriate, with Saturday being 4/20 and all.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Parents are generally tasked with imparting sage advice upon their offspring, but in this case, August the toddler seems to be dispensing the pearls of wisdom.

The little girl refuses to accept help from her dad when it comes to unbuckling herself from her car seat. Instead, she repeatedly (yet politely) orders him:

"Worry about yourself!"

A wise and intuitive youngster, this one.

Self-sufficiency is a lesson that usually isn't learned for at least another 10-30 years among American youth these days. So far ahead of the curve.

by Free Britney at . Comments

You have to watch the anchors of Good Day Philly break down in tears - laughing - three seconds after completing an interview with Olympian Ryan Lochte.

Ryan came on the show to promote his new reality show, What Would Ryan Lochte Do? Apparently Ryan doesn't do TV interviews, that's for sure.

Check out the end of this one - and the anchors' reactions:

You know it's bad when you zone out live on camera, as if your mind is somewhere else (or just absent) ... and then when you do talk, it may be worse.

But hey, the man can swim a 400-meter individual medley, and "if you're the man at night, you gotta be a man in the morning" is a mantra to live by.

Whatever that means.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

This is downright hilarious.

With many still reacting with shock and horror at LL Cool J and Brad Paisley teaming up on "Accidental Racist," Stephen Colbert addressed the unexpected duet on last night's show.

How so? By singing his own track alongside Broadway and The Good Wife star Alan Cumming, of course, coming together with the actor on "Oopsie Daisy Homophobe."

"To the man stretching next to me/At the Crunch gym down on Main/I hope you understand/When I told you 'God hates fags'/The only thing I meant to say is I'm a Skynyrd fan," croons Colbert.

Watch Cumming then make his rapping intro in the following clip:

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

She's the youngest person to ever be nominated for an Academy Award.

So we know Quvenzhane Wallis can act.

But did you know this 10-year old can also gyrate, shake, flip and sort of moonwalk? The young star pulled out all of these moves and more at an MTV Movie Awards after-party Sunday night, taking on a serious competitor in an intense dance-off.

Who won? You tell us!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Actress Alison Brie has her finger on the pulse of Internet pop culture.

MadeMan presented Brie with images of the web's biggest celebrities (Grumpy Cat, Overly Attached GF, Ermagherd Girl, etc) and asked her to imitate the memes.

The results are pretty classic. Take a look:

The Community and Mad Men also did her best to create the least sexy GIFs imaginable ... which is a tall order, if you've seen the Alison Brie Esquire photos.

Take a look at that effort after the jump:

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Is it silly? Yes. Is it sophomoric? Absolutely. Is it a smart marketing move? Hey, we're talking about it, aren't we?

Kmart has hit viral pay dirt with its new "Ship My Pants" ad, a 30-second spot that relies on a turn of phrase to promote a free shipping service, as a family of three gets excited to ship their pants.

Get it?!?

Never underestimate the power "of a doody joke," says advertising columnist Barbara Lippert of the video, which has been viewed over 7.5 million times in YouTube.

Join the fun and immature party now by clicking Play:

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

This may explain Teen Mom... and Teen Mom 2... and why there will inevitably be a Teen Mom 29.

Because young women do not know how to properly use protection!

In the following video, an unidentified female takes the Condom Challenge (which is apparently a real thing), unwrapping a condom... sticking it up her nose... and pulling it out her mouth.

We really, really, really wish we were making this up. But watch now and grow concerned over the future of our youth:

by Free Britney at . Comments

Sox the cat clearly does not lack for self-esteem.

In the video below, the feline just can't get enough of his reflection, or how cute he looks from every angle. Paws up. Down. Profile. Straight on. FTD.

Perhaps he's a narcissist ... or simply mesmerized by the fact that his paws are reversed in the reflection. Either way, lookin' good Sox. Lookin'. Good.

"People be like 'damn, that's a cold ass kitty'" ...

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