by Tattle Taylor at . Comments

"Sext your partner" they say! "It'll be good for your relationship" they insist, with confidence.

Who is THEY, anyway, 'cause there's a good chance they've never seen sexts like these!

Food as foreplay, bingewatching Netflix, and fort building exercises are among the topics these senders used to lure the objects of their affections into the bedroom.

If these people are trying to be sexy*, they're totally failing miserably. Check out 29 funny sexting fails, quite possibly the least sexy sexts ever sent.

Seriously. These texts are about as sexy as Miley Cyrus riding a giant hot dog**.

Cheese and Wine
Candles, wine, and an assortment of cheeses all sound like the makings of a great night. So why does this sound so very unsexy?

* - We're at least 82% certain none of these sexts are legitimately trying to be sexy. But there's always 18% of the population who would use lines like this to pick up dates.

** - Or who would find images of Miley Cyrus riding a giant hot dog sexy.

by Tyler Johnson at . Comments

Romeo and Juliet; Batman and Robin; Kim and Kanye - history is full of great partnerships, but never before have two beings come together as harmoniously as these two Gods of the Internet.

Ladies and gentleman, we present you...Peter Dinklage and Grumpy Cat:

Peter Dinklage and Grumpy Cat

Yes, fans have been pointing out their resemblance for years, and today the man who's portrayed one of TV's most memorable characters for four seasons finally crossed paths with that cat who looks sort of pissed off all the time.

Naturally, Grumpy Cat is unenthralled, because that's kinda his thing, but for the rest of the world, the glory of this photo can't be put into words.

We think the look on the face of that guy behind them says it all.

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Greatest. Jeopardy. Contestant. Ever.

Going into Final Jeopardy this week, Ari Voukydis was trailing the leader by more than twice his current total. As a result, he had no real chance of winning.

So, how did Voukydis answer the game's final question? In the most awesome way possible!

"In 1891, this European said, ‘Perhaps my factories will put an end to war sooner than your Congresses,'" asked Alex Trebek.

And this is how Voukydis replied:

Ari Voukydis Jeopardy Answer

HA! We love it.

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by Tattle Taylor at . Comments

Look, it's a hard truth. We know. But you're not a spry young chicken anymore. You're closer to 40 than 14, you know? It's time to get your $h!t together. 

We're here to help before your quarter-life crisis finds you.

Specifically, before it finds you smashing printers in a field or digging your letter jacket out of storage so you can hang out at your old high school like you still go there. (You don't even go there!)

You are capable of great things and we want to help you reach your potential. We're givers like that. So, sit down, buckle up, and take a look at 17 things to get rid of ASAP and live a better life. 

Channel your inner Elsa and say it with us now: "Let it go..."

Your Ex
You're on. You're off. You're on. You're off again. MAKE A DECISION! Stick with it. Your future will thank you.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

As a general rule, text messages are pretty funny.

Take the time Justin Bieber told Selena Gomez to keep her talentless p--sy away from him.

Or take these 19 Text Message Fails by Mom.

Or take the following amazing exchange, in which one girl complains to her friend that some shady dude on the bus is looking over her shoulder and reading her phone messages.

What awesomely evil plan does the friend come up with? We should plot a fake murder and see how he reacts!

And that's exactly what they do. Flip through the following screen grabs to see the plot unfold and to learn how the snooper responds...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Typically, a laundromat trip is a run-of-the-mill thing you wish you didn't have to do, but is generally painless. Heck, at least it gets you out of the apartment for a bit.

In the case of this one woman, though, it resulted in a lost pair of underwear.

And for the guy who ended up with them in his laundry, a loss of even more.

Lost Panties, Girlfriend

Yes ... dude claims he got dumped because someone else's panties ended up in his laundry basket, a pretty incredible turn of events for a few reasons:

  1. How do you not notice such a brightly-colored garment before you start?
  2. His now-ex really didn't buy this unusual, yet totally plausible excuse?

Questions we cannot answer. But all of a sudden that random person dumping all our clothes on the counter because we were gone for two minutes seems tame.

For the love of all things holy, check the machine next time, or save up and invest in one for your place. And tack this on to our list of passive-aggressive notes:

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by Tattle Taylor at . Comments

When it comes to celebrity parents, we sort of assume that their celebrity baby name choices will suck. Did you expect a normal offering from Kim Kardashian?!

It's sort of a trend among stars to see who can come up with the most bizarre and off the wall moniker for their mini-me just to make the world go "wait... what?"

But we need only look to the real world to find tons of cases that make us say, "there's no way those parents said that name out loud before that person entered the world."

Because there's absolutely no way at all these names were said out loud prior to the moment these people came screaming into the world. Absolutely. No. Way.

Behold 49 totally hilarious, totally real names

Kash Register
Please tell us this man did not get arrested for knocking over a convenience store. Or that this is what he stole. Please.

We can't believe them either, trust us.

Speaking of those celebrity babies, and in honor of North West's Kidchella first birthday party, here are 17 of the best / worst celebrity baby names!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Kids are the best. Not only are they sweet, fun and innocent, but sometimes they'll even step up and write a letter to your boss when you're overworked.

A Google employee is getting a full week off work to spend with his daughter next week, thanks to a stirring, hand-scrawled letter she wrote to his supervisor.

“Dear google worker,” the letter reads. “Can you please make sure when daddy goes to work, he gets one day off. Like he can get get a day off on Wednesday."

"Because daddy ONLY gets a day off on Saturday.”

  • Dear Google
  • Letter From Google

The little girl’s plea didn’t stop there, either.

“P.S. It is daddy’s BIRTHDAY!” she wrote.

“P.P.S. It is summer, you know.”

You know ... she makes a good point. Daniel Shiplacoff, the dad’s boss, apparently saw the letter and agreed, responding with a letter of his own.

Continue Reading...

by Tattle Taylor at . Comments

Anyone who has attempted to cohabitate with another human knows that some people just aren't easy to live with. Throw a dog or two into the mix and things get exponentially more aggravating.

Pesky neighbors with their car alarms, sharers of the communal bathrooms, and the dreaded dog walkers are all sources of frustration for reasonable humans.

If by "reasonable humans" we mean "people who go around leaving notes for their nemeses" rather than addressing them face to face, and we do mean that exactly.

Some people just aren't able to coexist. Annoyed by all things big or small, you start to get on their nerves and they don't care who knows it.

Or they get on your nerves and you're the one who goes around leaving passive aggressive notes everywhere. (Don't be that person? Maybe?)

Behold 25 classic passive aggressive notes ... sometimes sans the passive part:

Mother Knows Best
She brought you into this world. She can take you out of it.

by Tattle Taylor at . Comments

Tendonitis of the thumbs is a real, legit, frequently diagnosed medical condition among teens.

Why? Because their thumbs never stop moving, flying over the keyboards of their cell phones to send text messages and Snapchats (!!!!) at lightning speed. 

Our opposable thumbs weren't made for all that texting, people! They were made to do things like ... hold a pencil or button pants or play the Kim Kardashian video game!

But we, as a society, both young and old, are addicted to our phones. They keep us connected and in the loop and they fuel our anxiety and frustration.

We take the good with the bad, but what some of us could really use a vacation. From our phones. If you're saying "Psh! Not ME!" right now, we're probably talking to you.

Here are 17 signs you need a vacation from your cell phone ...

You Love Your Cell Phone This Much
If your attraction to your cell phone is this strong, it's probably a good sign that you need to break up.

NOTE: If you're reading this ON YOUR CELL PHONE (especially if you're reading this on your cell phone while on the toilet) please begin your vacation soon.

Right after you catch up on the rest of your celebrity gossip.