by Free Britney at . Comments

Whether this is true or not, we have no idea, but it was reported by Perez and Radar, and is too good not to pass along. Sometimes a girl just needs her Coke fix!

Sources say Lindsay Lohan attempted to break out of the Betty Ford Center, where her troubled a$$ is seeking treatment for drug abuse, and escape into the wild.

All in the name of a good, old-fashioned caffeinated soft drink.

Lindsay in Familiar Surroundings

FIEND: An addict will go to great lengths. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

The alleged actress and an accomplice supposedly hoped to hit up a soda machine at a nearby medical center, but the diabolical plan was foiled ... why, you ask?

The friend's clothing got caught on the fence and they couldn't move. That's either the funniest celebrity news item in awhile, or really creative BS by Radar.

Hey, what's that on the fence? Oh, it's just Lindsay Lohan!

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Mark Palin of the UK's Daily Mail already had the coolest golf photo ever. In a one-in-a-million shot (in more ways than one), Tiger Woods duffed a chip right into him.

But the true brilliance of this image from the Ryder Cup wasn't the errant pitch from Woods (who won the match), but the dude in the background on the far right.

World, meet Tiger Woods Cigar Guy.

Amazingly, Tiger Woods really hit this shot - and Cigar Guy really saw it.

While the miraculous image of the ball heading straight at the camera first grabbed public's interest, it was a mystery cigar-chomping fan who really seized it.

The photograph has become a sensation, and Tiger Woods Cigar Guy, whoever he is, has been parodied across the web. Follow the jump to see what we mean ...

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Christine O'Donnell is a candidate for the U.S. Senate. She is not, however, a witch. Or IS SHE?! If you have to deny it in a campaign ad, that's not a good sign.

Dressed in a black blazer and pearls, she levels with voters. "I'm not a witch," she says, despite saying in a previous interview that she "dabbled in witchcraft."

Her opponent? Bonnie from The Vampire Diaries. Kidding. Or ARE WE?!

Nah

Sure you are.

The GOP candidate for V.P. Joe Biden's former seat tells voters she's like them. "I'm nothing you've heard," O'Donnell says. "I'm you. None of us are perfect."

No, but most of us don't fly around on brooms. Sorry, but this is too funny. Witch? Not a witch? Check out her campaign video below and see what you think ...

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We've already introduced you to the cutest Justin Bieber fan in the world.

Now, we're excited to provide THG readers with a glimpse at the oldest, most enthusiastic, hilarious Bieber follower on the planet. Granted, his daughters might just consider him to be the most embarrassing. But, either way, you simply must watch this hilarious video:

by Free Britney at . Comments

Spencer Pratt shaved his beard. Might Heidi Montag bid farewell to her gargantuan breast implants next? According to reports, yes - and not necessarily by choice!

According to a hilarious tabloid report, her size G boobs are literally facing collapse. After losing her bikini in the sea, she allegedly made a frantic call to her surgeon.

Someone might want to tell New Weekly that the doctor who crafted those breasts, Dr. Frank Ryan, is dead now. But we give the gossip rag credit for creativity:

G-Cups

Are Heidi Montag's girls going to literally fall out?

Seriously, this is some of the funniest stuff we've seen in awhile. We can understand the sheer weight of those things giving her back problems, but how would they "collapse" and/or "fall apart" exactly? It makes absolutely no sense.

Oh well. We just hope for more staged wardrobe malfunctions going forward.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

D.J. Goodson is our new hero.

The Pennsylvania prison inmate has filed a lawsuit against Kourtney, Khloe and Kim Kardashian because he claims he was forced to watch episodes of their reality shows and the result was "extreme emotional distress." Dude, we know how you feel.

  • Khloe K. Photograph
  • Stylin Star
  • Cute Child, Annoying Mother

Khloe, Kim and Kourtney have no regard for their affect on inmates across the country.

In the lawsuit filed in federal court, Goodson went into detail about his scarring as a result of viewing the following Keeping Up With the Kardashians and Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami developments:

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

What is going on with JetBlue airlines? No one wants to remain aboard that company's jets!

First, Steven Slater slid off a grounded plane because he was sick of his job. Then, last night, Playboy model Tiffany Livingston tried to escape from the commercial flight she was on - while it was in the air! At least that's what fellow passengers believed at the time.

Cellulite vs. Britney

Tiffany Livingston is all about getting off... men. Not planes while they are in the air.

At 10,000 feet, Livingston - the 21-year old featured in the debut edition of Singapore's version of Playboy - suffered a panic attack and reached for the airplane's door in order to steady herself. But those around Tiffany thought she was actually trying to open the hatch.

Because this would have killed everyone on board, Livingston was detained by authorities and questioned.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Taylor Lautner has sued a RV dealership for $300,000 because it failed to deliver the actor's custom trailer to the set of his new movie on time.

That's not exactly a laughable sum of money, but the owner of McMahon's RV in Irvine, CA clearly finds it hilarious. He's responded to the lawsuit by offering a settlement... over push-ups!

We get it, Taylor Lautner, you're very strong. Now put those guns away!

Brent McMahon says he'll vigorously defend himself against the breach of contract charge if Lautner turns him down - but, first, he's proposed a test of strength. If he (somehow) defeats the Twilight Saga stud, McMahon said he'll donate $40,000 to the Children's Hospital of Orange County.

Lautner's lawyer's response? 1. Just donate that sum to a charity of my client's choosing anyway and this issue will be resolved; 2. You're a moron.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Attention fans of Seven, American Idol and laughter: the following clip from Tosh.O is a must-see.

In it, Daniel Tosh (the sexiest host on Comedy Central, according to THG readers) takes on the Brad Pitt role in the aforementioned 1995 movie, while David Archuleta shows up as...

... we don't wanna spoil it. Just check out this seemingly random, utterly hilarious video and prepare for some major pain in your funny bone:

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Jimena Navarrete may have walked away with the Miss Universe crown this week, but Maria Venus Raj earned a special place in our hearts.

This representative of the Philippines was asked a simple question by judge Billy Baldwin: What is the biggest mistake you've ever made?

After saying hello to the audience for over half of her allotted time, Raj essentially replied: I've never made a mistake because my family loves me!!!

Watch below and take comfort, Carrie Prejean. You're no longer the dumbest person to ever walk across a beauty pageant stage...

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