by Free Britney at . Comments

In a hilarious minute-long rant, Sacha Baron Cohen went on The Today Show this morning and slammed the Academy Awards for shutting him out... in character.

Cohen, or should we say Admiral General Aladeen, appeared live on NBC's morning show to express outrage over being banned from the Oscars Sunday night.

The despot's message, in summation: Death to America, death to the west, and good luck Billy Crystal. Here's The Dictator himself, General Aladeen, lashing out:

While begrudgingly giving props to the Academy for denying his right to free speech - just like The Dictator himself would do - he's still outraged, dammit!

In addition to threatening the "Academy Of Motion Pictures Arts and Zionists," SBC takes a shot at actress Hilary Swank, who won't refund his money. Bummer.

Swank presumably became a punchline after she attended a dinner for an alleged war criminal. As for why Cohen is railing against the Academy in the first place?

When the group got wind of the fact that he planned to attend the show in character, they blackballed him. Never smart to mess with a dictator, Oscars.

by Free Britney at . Comments

What do you get when you combine a bored, former A-list socialite with insightful tales of cell phone indiscretion and below-average techno beats?

A song and music video that must be heard/seen to be believed.

We present you with Paris Hilton's "Drunk Text" video - a cringe-worthy attempt to reenter the world of music/rap/spoken word ... who the heck knows, honestly.

The "song" (term used loosely) is a collaboration between Paris Hilton and production duo Manufactured Superstars. It leaked yesterday, and is not a joke apparently.

Watch Hilton wax poetic on the finer points of drunk texting and weigh in below:

What do you think of Paris' "Drunk Text"?

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

Paris Hilton is back! Or was ... if only for a few hours!

The ho-tel heiress' new single, "Drunk Text," was briefly leaked online today before being yanked off of YouTube within hours. What's it about, you ask?

Heck if we know, but the girl cannot sing. At all.

Not that she even tries, really. Hilton raps/speaks monotonously over the beat... and that's it. The music video was released today, but quickly pulled from YouTube with little explanation other than a violation of a copyright claim by Black Hole Recordings.

Still, the instant classic video was up long enough for some pics to be screen grabbed, and for numerous people who heard it to report on its epicness.

Some choice lyrics: "If you take the word 'sex' and mix it with 'texting,' it's called 'sexting'/When you add drunk sexting, the words just don't make sense."

Toooootally.

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Hey, at least he's practicing safe sex!

At this week's Hollywood premiere of The Lorax - a children's film, ironically - Zac Efron reached into his pocket to hand an item to his assistant. But something else accidentally fell out and fell to the ground, in front of countless onlookers: A condom.

Set to appropriate music, watch the hilarious clip now:

The only real question, of course: Who was this condom intended for? Zac's Valentine's Day date?

by Free Britney at . Comments

As the saying goes, dogs have owners, cats have staff.

In this adorable viral video, an impatient Scottish Fold (a breed of cat which, as its name implies, hails from Scotland and features ears that fold downward) makes it clear that its human companion isn't paying nearly enough attention to it. Eh hem.

Browsing the computer? Think again. Pat the cat. Now.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Can you tell if a woman has ever flashed someone just by looking at her?

Not a question we pondered before today, admittedly, but Jimmy Kimmel got us thinking about it. The late night host interviewed people on the street and asked them that very question, then polled the audience to see if they could guess right.

The results were mixed in terms of accuracy, but all pretty funny:

by Free Britney at . Comments

Cyborg Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney is campaigning in Michigan ahead of Tuesday's primary, and boy, does he just love everything about that state!

Mitt's pandering speech last week was remarkable in how forced it sounded, even by his standards, as the Michigan native tried to convince residents he is one of them.

It was a performance reminiscent of Steve Carell in Anchorman, when Will Ferrell's Ron Burgundy asks, "Are you just naming things you see and saying you love them?"

Watch a mashup of that scene and Romney's press conference below:

The trees are the right height. Take note, Michigan Department of Tourism. There's your new tagline if ever we've heard one. "Pure Michigan" was so 2011.

by Free Britney at . Comments

When raging homophobe and Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum rolls into Cumming, Georgia, to a campaign stop, the puns are almost too easy.

Still, this headline, first posted on Buzzfeed, defies description:

Santorum Headline

For more on Rick Santorum, a real "family values" conservative who has shot to the top tier of the GOP race against all odds, just Google Rick Santorum.

It's eye-opening, the etymology of the former Senator's name.

Well played, Internet ... and CUMMING headline writer.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Yeah ... the title of this video/article pretty much speaks for itself.

What's not to love about a miniature dog running in circles? Or a baby shrieking with joy as if what it's just witnessed was the greatest event in human history?

Nothing. Now imagine both of those things put together! It's awesome!

If you ever need to run errands, just plop your youngster down on the floor with a Sheltie (or mutt-like equivalent) for hours of free babysitting - and fun!

NOTE: We're not actually suggesting that, but still, check this out:

by Free Britney at . Comments

Late night sexting can be an enjoyable pastime, but as the exchange below illustrates, one still encounters limitations. Sexting can't beat the real thing ... especially if you're just too tired to get out of bed, walk across the room and turn the lights on.

It's still sexy to swap dirty texts and all, but it's a flawed system.

Maybe the iPhone 5 will include a night vision camera function?

Sexting
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