by Tattle Taylor at . Comments

It's a universal truth readily accepted by smart people everywhere: some people just shouldn't have access to the Internet. At all. Not even a little bit.

Do not pass Go, do not collect a Facebook login. Seriously. 

Why? Look no further than these 31 examples and cringe:

5 O'Clock Somewhere
Drinking and driving is a really bad idea. Drinking and driving combined with taking a picture and posting to Facebook is even worse.

Another universal truth? Second (or third) hand mortification is REAL.

As in, wee are totally mortified for some of the people who have been caught committing the sin of gloriously and gratuitously oversharing on social media.

Check out these 31 TMI Facebook posts and be really, REALLY glad you're not one of these people. (Unless you ARE one of these people in which case, wow. Just wow.)

But wait! There's more!! People LOVE to fail on Facebook. Love, love, love it. Even if these folks' posts don't fall into the TMI category, they are legendary ...

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Despite agreeing to go on VH1's Dating Naked, the premise of which is summarized well by the name, Jessie Nizewitz had NO idea what she signed up for.

Or so she says in a $10 million lawsuit against VH1 parent company Viacom and two production companies for allegedly flashing her crotch, uncensored!

The incident took place during a playful wrestling match on the beach with a male contestant. Nizewitz was, by definition, buck arse nude at the time.

But the 28-year-old New York model says she was assured that all of her naughty bits would be blurred on the show, and that they clearly weren't.

The social media coverage of this "event" has messed her up, she says.

"I have no problem going to a beach in a bikini or people seeing me on TV in a bikini," the reality star said in a statement via her attorney, Matthew J. Blit.

So why go on a show called Dating Naked? Jessie Nizewitz explains:

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

In December, a wife in Virginia learned not to make her husband choose between her and his Harley Davidson.

Now, a girlfriend in Lancaster has learned a similar lesson.

In a hilariously awesome Craigslist ad, an unnamed pet owner goes into detail about the problems with his purebred dog.

She isn’t really trained. She yaps all night. She’s high maintenance. She can be pretty darn mean. And, as a result of all these issues, the man’s girlfriend doesn’t like the canine.

So, the man asks… anyone interested in his selfish girlfriend? HA!!!

New Girlfriend Wanted

We assume he's kidding. But maybe not.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

The Ice Bucket Challenge to raise awareness and money for ALS is spreading so incredibly quickly, it's going to run out of people sooner rather than later.

As with every social media campaign - even ones that raise millions - people move on and attention spans wane as we get saturated with new material.

Some things never fail to win over the web, though, such as cats, hot Ryan Gosling photos or drugged-up people after their wisdom teeth get pulled.

To wit, one girl who falls into the latter category decided to integrate her impaired state with the Ice Bucket Challenge, and the results were pretty classic:

Not the most stellar effort we've seen in terms of ice water cascading over a human being, but it stands out for its own comedic reasons in any case.

Very well played, and before you accuse this youngster of faking her prescription daze, note that there is a nice steam of blood dripping out of her mouth.

Guess even all that crazy magic they teach you at Hogwarts School can't overcome the temporary numbing effects of hard ass pain meds. Oh well.

Like the rest of the people, be they famous folks or commoners, who contributed to our epic Ice Bucket Challenge fails montage, at least she tried.

No one can ever take that away from her.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Some parents may fail miserably at text messaging.

But others succeed at apologizing to their son's girlfriend after their security cameras caught her dry humping their child behind the sofa in the living room.

Yes, this really happened to a Reddit user named “One Skinny Mexican,” who shared his story online, along with the dessert item baked by his mom and dad.

Look what they wrote to his embarrassed girlfriend:

Parents Apologize to Dry-Humped Girlfriend of Son

The young man says that he thought he and his girlfriend were “at an angle” in which the camera would miss them, but obviously he was mistaken.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Suffering from a lack of self-confidence, fellas?

Not getting enough respect at work?

Often embarrassed in front of your girlfriend?

Not to worry. You can now add three inches to your manhood, thanks to Shoes by Jews, a company whose epic commercial promises to increase your height.

What, did you think we were referring to something else?!?

This uproarious (and accurate!) ad immediately goes into the pantheon of greats, right alongside Kate Upton shilling for Hot Pockets and Mila Kunis for Jim Beam.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Remember the time that wedding cake literally blew up in that bride's face?

Or when that guy came flying out of nowhere to tackle that little girl and steal the tossed bouquet?

Or when that bridal party fell into that lake?

Such memories may be ones those involved in these ceremonies wish to forget - but they're captured for eternity below, as the awesome folks behind the YouTube channel FailArmy have compiled a Best of The Worst when it comes to weddings.

Did they include this groomsman kicking this bridesmaid in the head? Find out now!

Some folks, of course, want you to laugh WITH them on their big day, as opposed to laughing AT them.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Let us be clear: there's nothing wrong with having sex.

Provided you are safe, responsible, mature and, ideally, in love... have at it, people. 

Heck, be like Lindsay Lohan and make it a list. Get your Kim Kardashian on and film the act. We are not here to judge.

But some neighbors of yours are here to tell you to keep it down a bit. Please. There could be kids around. We may need to tell them you're beating your girlfriend instead of making sweet love to her.

(No, really, that's what one of the following authors actually told his son.)

So protect yourself, consider the following advice and, seriously, buy a new bed frame already...

by Free Britney at . Comments

While Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off" video is dominating the headlines this week, she's got nothing on this girl in Missouri and her affinity for her local mall.

An ad for the East Hills Mall in St. Joseph, Mo., has everything you could want in a song about a mall, even if you never knew you wanted it in the first place:

We got nothing. Except sorry, poor girl who got roped into this.

According to KNPN, the producer of the commercial, Chris Fleck, was hoping it would go viral. It is unclear if he wanted it to do so for the reason it has.

Any publicity is good publicity for a mall, we suppose.

From the green screen work to the unintentionally (we think) atrocious lyrics and the off-key singing and beat boxing, this TV spot has got it all, people.

From boots and pants to more boots and pants.

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by Tattle Taylor at . Comments

Remember when your mother told you to make sure you looked presentable when you left home and put on clean underwear just in case and yadda yadda you stopped listening, 'cause what did she know?

Well, she knew. And you should've listened to her. Because what if you got arrested and the police had to take your MUG SHOT. Infamy. That's what would happen. 

Because mug shots are those great equalizers of all people who commit crimes, lumping them together forever in one thing known as the public record.

Meta Mug Shot
This kid got arrested while wearing a shirt featuring a picture of himself....getting arrested.

Let's face it. Some people just don't photograph well, especially in the harsh fluorescent lights of jails.

There's something about the bricks and the flash and the probable drunkenness and disorderly conduct that just make these things turn out, well, hilarious.

Check out 23 of the funniest mug shots ever, above, to see what we mean, and lest you think we only pick on the regular people of the world, never fear.

There are plenty of celebrity mug shots to go around, as well ...

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