Lindsay Lohan
Gossip (Page 4)

"I always kind of aspired to be like Britney Spears in the tabloids when I was in middle school." - Lindsay Lohan in an interview with Access Hollywood

Rarely can one quote say so much about a person, but at least Lindsay Lohan has a realistic view of living life in the celebrity gossip cross hairs.

And seeking it out, actively. Michael and Dina did a stellar job. Then again, what do you expect from a loser who's become friends with Jon Gosselin.

“It’s kind of something you sign up for," Lindsay Lohan said of the constant tabloid attention she generates. “I admit, at times it does affect me."

"When I’m having a bad day or dealing with something personal that is no one business but they’re going to spin it however they want anyway."

Asked if she has regrets, Lindsay Lohan basically no, and that all of her very public meltdowns, dalliances and missteps are just "part of the process." Totally.

“I know I’m a target and I know I’ve given people a lot of reason to kind of run with things. I no longer intend on doing that, but I’m not perfect.”

“There are definitely things that I would like to take back and I always say that, but there aren’t that many things that I truly regret doing."

"I wouldn’t have learned from them, and wouldn’t be where I am today,” she noted, seemingly without irony, as where she is today is going downhill fast.

Chances are, what few regrets she has include making her voicemail password 1234, having her Twitter page "hacked" and her house broken into every other week.

Sweet mother of God, what a moron this train wreck is.

But hey, as long as she learns from it, it will make her stronger ... or at least more likely to put on some pants and change the default password.

Lindsay probably believes hackers look like this ...

Lindsay Lohan is either a buffoon or on drugs. Possibly both.

Two pieces of advice to all the anorexic coke heads out there:

1. Don't put your cellphone number online
2. If you do, don't make the password 1234

This may seem like common sense, but we are talking about Lindsay Lohan. This is a girl who posts nonsensical, strung-out rants at her lesbian lover on Twitter.

This is also a girl who gets robbed routinely. Her alarm system code is probably 1234 too, or it's written down on post-its all over the house so she won't forget.

She'll never be accused of being smart.

In any case, her voicemails were obtained, then posted online. Most are from drunk morons squandering the prank call opportunity of a lifetime, or people trying to get Samantha Ronson to DJ (really) or just have coffee with Linds.

But the most desperate comes from her father Michael Lohan, who cries about how he wants to see LiLo's sis Ali Lohan, but she doesn't want him to.

In a second message, Michael tells Lindsay that he bought her CD at 7-11 and thinks it's "so beautiful." It's hard to say if he's more sleazy or pathetic.

Listen to the compilation of Lindsay Lohan voicemail below:

We were just thinking about how Lindsay Lohan had not taken to her beloved Twitter account to unleash an unnecessarily public rant in what feels like days.

Before, it was the seedy peeps who ransacked her home who bore the brunt of the waif's Tweeting tirade. She knows who you are guys (only she doesn't)!

This time, it's on-off-on-off-on-off lover Samantha Ronson who finds herself in the crosshairs. Not that anyone knows what the hell Lindsay is talking about.

According to Twitter, the rant began around 7:30 a.m. EST, or 4:30 a.m. PST, probably before Lindsay even went to bed. Heck, she's probably still up now.

FIRE(D UP) CROTCH: Something really made Lindsay Lohan fly off the handle this morning. We don't know for sure what, but she sure is pissed @samantharonson.

Regardless, the actress and "fashion ambassador" really needs a lesson in spelling, as well as some protein and probably a whole team of psychologists.

All of the above might help stave off meltdowns such as this.

So here's Lindsay Lohan going all Miley Cyrus (albeit less coherently), spilling her guts like a madman on Twitter, as if anyone gives a rat's a$$.

You have to read from the bottom up, given the 140-character limit. Not that this will likely help you garner any clue as to what she's saying ...

This concludes Thursday morning's stimulating look inside the mind of the great Lindsay Lohan. Suffice it to say, it's not a pretty scene in there.

Need more proof that the economy is turning around? Lindsay Lohan has found a job!

The struggling actress and overall disaster of a human being has been named “artistic advisor” for Paris designer Emanuel Ungaro. Your guess is pretty much as good as ours as to what that actually means.

But Ungaro CEO and president Mounir Moufarrige sounded excited over the decision. Sort of.

Got a clothing line coming out for anorexic drug addicts? Lindsay Lohan is your advisor!

“A designer only-led fashion house isn’t enough, so we’re adding a super consumer who gives us a direct channel to consumers,” he said. “Odds are it could work. I think the noise level around Lindsay will be very, very big.”

That's true. The sound of a train wrecking is typically quite loud.

As for Lohan, she's just psyched she'll be able to pay her mortgage finally.

“When I’m involved in a project, I give my all to it,” she said. “I feel like there’s a correlation between everything I do, whether it’s pop music or film. I’ve always played a big part in what I wear, the costumes. Clothing is something that’s so expressive in so many ways. It really interests me. To be in a position where I’m working with a fashion house in Paris sets it apart from every other celebrity brand.”

If past Lindsay Lohan fashion is any indication, that is not a good thing.

It's nice to see that anorexic waif and sometime actress Lindsay Lohan is already displaying the natural maternal instincts passed down to her from mom Dina.

Lindsay brought her sister Ali Lohan, 16, into L.A. clubs this weekend, for the second time in a week. This time, the skank and skank-in-training hit up Teddy's.

How a 16-year-old gets into a club is beyond comprehension, but then again, this one dresses like a 40-year-old divorcee, so the bouncers were likely fooled.

Both Lindsay and her sis were dressed for attention, with Lindsay wearing a tight jumper and lots of makeup. Jailbait wore a vest as a shirt and booty shorts.

When the wild child and her sis came off the dance floor, Linds was chain smoking in the club, setting a bad example and breaking the law at the same time.

Way to go, LiLo.

MASTER AND APPRENTICE: Lindsay Lohan is the epitome of a Hollywood train wreck, but she's seeing to it that little sister Ali, 16, follows in her troubled footsteps.

The highlight of the night for Lindsay and Ali? Bumping into actor Jason Segel of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, I Love You, Man and How I Met Your Mother fame.

Jason seemed a little embarrassed by the encounter but was gracious as the Lohans fawned all over him. So gracious that they left the club together after.

Reportedly, Linds and Ali partied at Adam Levine's until nearly 6 a.m. when they were spotted at the Chateau Marmont, with Jason getting out of the car.

No word on whether Lindsay's pad got robbed again while she was out all night, but since it's pretty much guaranteed she will be most nights, who knowd!

Lindsay Lohan could face legal action following claims she lost $2 million worth of borrowed jewels, according to a report today in The Sun (UK).

The supposed actress, 23, was loaned the bling by swanky Beverly Hills store XIV Karats two months ago. Then they recently wanted them back.

That's when Lohan said they had been stolen from her. Of course.

Lindsay's Hollywood Hills home was burglarized last weekend, with thieves making off with a safe as well as some handbags, photos and videos.

Yes, videos. A Lindsay Lohan sex tape should be leaked imminently.

Maybe it's a good thing she's changing addresses, as she seems to be robbed by miscreants or have the police called on her drunk ass about once every month.

A brittle Lindsay Lohan shivers from a rogue breeze in L.A.

While the burglars were caught on tape, they have yet to be brought to justice. Not that this will stop the jewels' owners from coming after Firecrotch.

"Lindsay claimed they had been stolen. They disappeared. XIV are not happy about it," a source said. "The jewels were in Lindsay's care and they were only on loan. If something is not resolved soon there will be legal action taken."

Lindsay's rep denied the report, which is not the first of its kind.

Christian Dior jewels worth around $400,000 vanished at a photo shoot with Lindsay in London. Her morals and values were ransacked long before that.

Lindsay Lohan wants a change of address.

No, really, she's moving. Apparently her current house being broken into twice and constantly surrounded by paparazzi lessened the appeal a bit.

At the same time, Samantha Ronson happens to be moving, sick of constant celebrity gossip photographer presence outside her L.A. residence.

Could they be moving to a new place together?

Not likely. But they both are after more privacy and security. Lohan has movers coming today to transport all her stuff from her rented Hollywood Hills home to a more secure high-rise, which she planned even before her recent burglary.

Early on August 23, Lindsay Lohan came home to find a door off its hinges and a safe ripped out of the wall. The police are still trying to identify three suspects who were caught on tape by surveillance cameras ransacking the property.

Both halves of this troubled, quasi-lesbian couple are seeking new pads.

"I'm sorry i haven't been on in a bit," she Twittered on Wednesday. "My life has been kind of in shambles considering my house was broken into. i feel violated."

She's been violated quite a lot in recent years.

As for Samantha Ronson, she hasn't been robbed, but having to face a bunch of flashbulbs whenever she walks outside hasn't been particularly fun for her.

So she's moving out of her rented Hollywood Hills abode, which currently has a "for lease" sign hanging out front, and is headed for ... an L.A. high-rise!

Hmm ...

There has never been a Lindsay Lohan sex tape. That we know of.

But there is a tape of people violating her ... home security system.

The LAPD has released some photos of these three people captured on surveillance tape breaking into her house - entering, they believe, through an unlocked door and taking personal items belonging to the alleged star.

All the suspects are described by the LAPD as being between ages 18-25 - a white male and two white females. The women are estimated around 120 lbs.

Lindsay Tweeted of the break-in: "i know it was not a ROBBERY. electronics weren't taken... just things that a certain old friend knew meant a lot to me."

Hmm. Wonder who that old friend is. Samantha Ronson, is that you?

This implies that if she does not know who ransacked her, LiLo is more or less convinced that the person or persons responsible are familiar with the place.

Meanwhile, law enforcement is looking at the possibility the burglar(s) who raided her pad also broke into Audrina Patridge's L.A. home a few months back.

Police note "striking similarities" between the male burglar in both break-ins and are looking into the possibility that the robbers are one and the same.

Their M.O. is also strikingly similar - entering through unlocked doors.

The Audrina Patridge break-in occurred in the early morning hours of Sunday, February 22, while the Lindsay ransacking took this past Sunday morning.

Here's a video of Lindsay Lohan getting robbed ...

Perennial Father of the Year candidate and new Jon Gosselin BFF Michael Lohan called the LAPD early this morning to report a break-in at Lindsay's house.

Michael claims a safe was ripped off the wall and a couple of watches were taken from Lindsay Lohan. Michael also believes it's "an inside job" since the people that work for his anorexic waif daughter "failed to turn the alarm on."

"I am not going to put up with individuals violating my family," Michael said, ironically since he spent several years in prison for fraud, was estranged from his own kids for some time, and is generally one of the shadier characters around.

"Lindsay is a charitable, generous person that always gives," he continued, also ironically since we all know what Lindsay gives with astounding frequency.

"This is a personal violation and it has got to stop."

LIL-OH-NO: People keep ransacking the crap out of Lindsay Lohan.

A source on scene says that three men were captured by surveillance video breaking into Lindsay's house in the Hollywood Hills. Lindsay came home early this morning (3 a.m., natch), discovered the break-in and called ... Michael.

LAPD officers are currently on the scene investigating. Michael says that in addition to the safe being ripped out of the wall, bags, shoes and jewelry were taken as well.

The police have yet to officially confirm these or any details.

Lindsay Lohan's house was also broken into in May. The suspects were captured on surveillance video and left after presumably being scared by the alarm.

Mom Dina Lohan said Lindsay was planning to move even before last night's break-in occurred: "[sister Ali Lohan] and Linds just left me in New York, and left people in charge to pack, as we are moving her to a safer place."

Note to Lindsay Lohan:

Stop munching carpet and start chowing down on actual food.

While the occasional actress is supposedly back together with Samantha Ronson, it appears as though the pair never dine together. The next time Lindsay opens her mouth to yell, Samantha should just stick a cheeseburger in there.

Take a look at the following photo of Lohan, taken yesterday at a screening of Inglourious Basterds. Someone needs to tell her that eating out is okay, as long as the act involves meals at a restuarant...