Lauren Bosworth
Gossip

On The Hills this week, Heidi worried about how Spencer doesn't want kids, while tension escalated between Jayde Nicole and Kristin Cavallari over Brody Jenner.

As always, The Hollywood Gossip editors look back at the major developments on Tuesday's episode of The Hills, awarding and deducting points as we see fit ...

Brody on Kristin's plan to meet Jayde Nicole: "You're out of your mind! She just tried to kill you." Plus 5, because that's literally true, but he says it so nonchalantly.

Heidi Montag's therapist tries to tell her that pulling the goalie on Spencer Pratt isn't the most sound idea. Minus 4 because Heidi needed a therapist to tell her this.

Brody's bro Taylor tells him he's more fun when he's around Kristin than he is around Jayde. Plus 3, because the lack of violent altercations does go a long way.

As if Kristin's actions weren't 100 percent scripted, Jayde rips her for being "in town for a month" and says she needs to "go back where she came from." Minus 6.

Kristin to Jayde: "Well, then you might want to keep his leash a little tighter, Jayde." Seconds later: "You're, like, such a bitch, Jayde." Burn and burn! Plus 7.

Brody Jenner ex-girlfriends Jayde Nicole and Kristin Cavallari square off.

Fake friendship/lunch date alert x2: Lo-Kristin and Audrina-Heidi! Minus 4.

Heidi outlines her plan to stop taking her birth control to Audrina, whose enormous forehead expands to even more epic proportions at this lunacy. Plus 3.

Man, Jayde is really unstable. So much so that Brody Jenner says he'll "jump off a building" if he has to argue with her one more time. Good sign. Minus 2.

Despite the fact that she appears more bipolar by the second, Brody decides he wants to stay with Jayde! Plus 6 for something we actually didn't see coming.

Kristin laments that she's always caught in the middle - first Audrina and Justin, now Brody and Jayde, when she's doing it all on freaking purpose! Minus 9.

Even Justin-Bobby's voicemail is garbled and undecipherable. Plus 2.

Umm, was that an actual normal dinner conversation and married couple moment from Speidi? Even, because we're too shocked to rate it one way or the other.

TOTAL: +1! SEASON TOTAL: +78! Mixed reviews this week, because the Speidi plot is getting old, and a meddling Kristin Cavallari can't expect us to care about her hurt feelings, even if Jayde is certifiably insane. Speaking of ...

Whose side are you on?

It's Lo Bosworth and Lauren Conrad, co-stars on Laguna Beach and The Hills, and toes besties forever and ever, in a Friday the 13th style showdown!

There's nothing freaky about their fashion - although it is freaking awesome - it just happens to be Friday the 13th today. Anyway, who looks better?

As you can see, the ladies were all smiles - and sparkles - at the Maxim launch of the Ubisoft video game Assassin's Creed II, held at Voyeur nightclub.

Which gal's fashion sense do you prefer? Can Lo Bosworth hang with her rival in the style department? or will she say LC-ya later? Vote in our survey!

Who looked better, Lo or LC?

The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest yielded plenty of good entries yesterday.

Our readers didn't disappoint with dozens of potential captions for this photo of The Hills' Lo Bosworth and Audrina Patridge. Your winner is TheGenePool.

Congratulations on a job well done! The winning entry appears below the photo, and you can click here to read the full list of submissions sent in to us.

Honorable mentions go out to Hellion and SpaceAceMoonBoots. Thanks to everybody for their efforts and best of luck in our next Caption Contest!

It's such a beautiful thing when friends get together and share a neuron.

Welcome to another edition of The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest, where readers try to write the funniest caption for the celebrity photo posted below!

The rules are simple. Look at the image. Click comments and send in your caption(s). As many as you like. Have fun. Tomorrow, we'll announce a winner.

It's that easy. This week's subjects? Audrina Patridge and Lo Bosworth filming The Hills. Give it your best shot(s) for picture of the SoCal cuties below ...

Lo Bosworth and Lauren Conrad are like best friends for life. But rumors of the former starring in the movie adaptation of the latter's novel are a bit premature.

LC was quoted recently saying that not only has Lo taken acting classes, but that Lo was also her first pick for the flick version of her bestseller L.A. Candy.

L.A. Candy is adapted for film by the producers of the Twilight saga.

"It was more of a joke than anything," Lo explained recently to E!.

"[Lauren Conrad and I] were on the red carpet together and they were like, 'Who do you want to be in the movie?'" she said. "I would love a cameo, but I don't think I could handle a big role. I'm not an actress. A cameo would be really fun."

As for things that are no longer fun anymore? Try The Hills.

For Lo, The Hills is just a crappy 9-to-5. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

"For me, it's turned into more of a job," Lo Bosworth griped. "Before, it was a lot of fun. Now it's like a daily grind where before it was lighthearted and easy."

Reading those cue cards and pretending to care what Stephanie Pratt says can get tedious after awhile, it's true. Her future with the show is now up in the air.

"I haven't totally decided," Lo said of signing up for another season alongside Kristin Cavallari and Speidi. "I have some other projects that I'm working on."

In other Hills news, Kristin was in Las Vegas last night hosting at LAX nightclub after dinner at Company Kitchen and Pub House. No sign of Justin-Bobby.

The Kristin Cavallari era of The Hills officially began last week and the season premiere was everything it was cracked up to be - for better or worse.

So what's to come on this evening's episode - and beyond?

According to Lo Bosworth, "There will be lots of fights."

We know you were on the edge of your seat. Breathe.

"I feel like it's going to be a really stressful season. I desperately miss having [Lauren Conrad] on the show. She's so calm, and she's my best friend. We still live together," continued Lo, echoing our sentiments exactly.

Lauren "Lo" Bosworth: The Hills' cutest non-factor.

As for the future of the show, Lo Bosworth says: "I think we're going to find out in a few weeks if we're getting picked up again, and I'm going to make my decision at that time [about whether to come back] myself."

"I have a few other shows I'm being pitched for as talent, for hosting. I'm really bad at reality shows, that's why I'm never the star. I think it's kind of silly."

Oh, come on Lo. The Hills? Silly? This is monumentally important, culturally significant stuff here. We can't wait to see Kristin and Justin-Bobby together.

It's been a big week for Lauren Bosworth.

She and her castmates were thrust back into the spotlight, as a new season of The Hills premiered on MTV.

Meanwhile, the reality star turned 23 and celebrated the occasion at Mi-6, a Hollywood night club named after the British Secret Intelligence Service.

Meant to conjure up cool, sleek images of James Bond, we're not entirely sure if Lo and Lauren Conrad would qualify as Bond girls. But the latter was on hand to help her pal celebrate.

LC also has a reason to pop champagne this week: her debut novel will be turned into a movie.

L.A. Candy, which is based on the real life of a girl-turned-reality-star-turned author will eventually hit the big screen. It's like art imitating life imitating art again... or something.

Just click on the photos of Lo and LC below and try not to think too much about it...

On Tuesday night's season premiere of The Hills, Kristin Cavallari made her presence felt early and often. Amazing what huge paychecks and scripts can do. Meanwhile, Spencer put a deposit on a house without telling his duck-lipped plastic wife.

Below, The Hollywood Gossip staff reviews Kristin's first episode of MTV's long-running "reality" TV series and awards and deducts points as it sees fit ...

The last-season-in-review montage showing Lauren Conrad departing airs, with Kristin as the show's new narrator. That's cold $h!t, MTV. Cold. Minus 2.

The girls sit around, reading cue cards and giving us the 411 on Kristin Cavallari, who they've just been informed will be on The Hills ... and will be their new friend, apparently. Hey, at least their disdain is for real. Plus 5.

Why would Spencer assume Kristin would go after Justin-Bobby, who looks homeless and by all accounts does not bathe, of all the people at the party? What about Frankie Delgado or Sleazy T? This whole scenario is so ridiculous. Minus 16.

Plus 9 for the obligatory Brody Jenner shirtless and sleeveless shots, and Plus 2 more because Jayde Nicole shows no signs of Joe Francis whomping on her.

Newlywed Heidi Montag says her goal in life is to keep her husband happy. Spoken like a true feminist. Cook, clean and break out the knee pads, Heidi. Minus 5.

Kristin to Audrina: "Your sidekick is yappin' her mouth at me!" Ten seconds into the season and she already knows the role of Stephanie Pratt. Plus 4.

LMAO moment: What in the effing hell is Spencer wearing when he and Heidi pretend to go house hunting? Why are his jeans tucked into his boots? Minus 1.

Stacie the bartender calls Audrina a stage-five clinger. Plus 2 for Stacie's unexplained, contrived appearance on the show, which is not even attempting to seem real at this point, and Plus 2 more for the use of Wedding Crashers quotes.

Even Kristin's voice sounds fake, like she's trying too hard to sound overly dramatic on her "date" with Justin-Bobby. Give us a freaking break. Minus 3.

Spencer puts a deposit down on a place without telling Heidi, who hates it. The more things change, the more they stay the same (and obnoxious). Plus 12.

Fittingly, the quote of the night goes to Kristin Cavallari: [on being a Capricorn] "I'm stubborn ... organized ... I have the BEST bed." Words fail us. Even.

TOTAL: +9! The Hills is what it is. If you can get past how obviously staged it all is, there's still a lot of drama and entertainment value to be enjoyed.

Reality TV's most overpaid airheads (and that's saying something) return to MTV tonight as The Hills kicks off its new season. Or "bonus episodes" of the current season five. Whatever you want to call it, it's back at 10 p.m. EST.

The City follows at 10:30 p.m. EST.

In preparation for the return of its contrived cash cow, the network has released a slew of promotional images of the cast. Some are older pictures, but most are new and feature stars who will now be playing new and/or bigger roles.

Specifically, Kristin Cavallari joins the cast and pretends to be interested in Justin-Bobby to piss off Audrina Patridge. Also, Stacie the bartender is apparently getting her own promotional photos now. This is "reality" TV at its finest.

Click to enlarge the pictures below. Who's your favorite Hills star?

Goodbye, Lauren Conrad.

Hello, Kristin Cavallari!

The Hills will look very different when it returns for a sixth season on September 29, as the MTV's program's original protagonist will no longer be reading cue cards and pretending to fight with Heidi appear on the show.

Not to worry, though, fans: Audrina Patridge, Lauren Bosworth and Stephanie Pratt all return. They were spotted shooting scenes on a Los Angeles street last week, clearly confused over the script:

My desperate need for attention is THIS big!

Click on the photos below for closer looks at Lo, Audrina and Stephane trying to remember their lines on The Hills: