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On the same weekend that Lauren Conrad got engaged to William Tell, her ex-boyfriend Jason Wahler has one-upped her by marrying Ashley Stack!

The former Laguna Beach star married the model Saturday. The couple wed in front of family and friends at the Calamigos Ranch in Malibu, Calif.

Jason Wahler and Ashley Stack Picture

After proposing to Slack last November, Jason Wahler, 26, made it official on Instagram, sharing a picture of his then fiancee's big diamond sparkler.

J-Dubs' caption? A simple, declarative "Love you babe!"

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Lauren Conrad is going from The Hills to the altar.

Oh yes, the former reality star is engaged!

Conrad made the exciting announcement herself today via blog, writing to fans: "I am very excited to share with you guys that William and I got engaged over the weekend."

"I am beyond thrilled!"

The Laguna Beach native, 27, included along with her message a pic of her diamond ring, which is anything but small (check it out after the jump).

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Once again, the incomparable Stephen Colbert has taken the time out of his hit Comedy Central show, The Colbert Report, to tackle more important issues. It's been a hell of a week. Who (and what) makes the latest edition of the "On Notice" board? Let's see...

It's impossible to argue with his selections. Divorce settlements are bad news all around (talking to you, Britney). And what's with everybody's fiancee getting knocked up before walking down the aisle? It's not just for Keri Russell and Amanda Peet anymore. Everybody's doing it this way. Was there some memo we didn't get?

As for the rest of the list...

  • It's the hair. What else could possibly keep Sanjaya Malakar on American Idol? Watching the guy is raw pain. Yet he stays. Every week. As our ears bleed. Literally.
  • We get it. Heather Mills has a prosthetic leg, yet is on a reality show about dancing! Amazing! Enough. Shouldn't science get the credit for making this possible, not the gold-digging former call girl?
  • Mortgage lenders are paying the price for issuing many thousands of home loans to borrowers with bad credit. If your credit is so poor that you can't qualify for low mortgage rates, should you really be buying a house at all? Think about it.
  • François-Henri Pinault, if you don't treat Salma Hayek right, we will end you.
  • What is it with Laguna Beach graduates and getting arrested? First Jason Wahler (x3), now Jessica Smith. This town should hire one of its less troubled alums, Lauren Conrad, to conduct an anti-DUI seminar.
  • Everyone's trying the pink hair thing. Scarlett Johansson. Kelis. Rachel McAdams. Joss Stone. In a word, it looks really friggin' lame. Get a life! Pink (the singer, not the color) is rolling in her grave.

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Jason Wahler would be smiling if he could see this.

Our counterparts at TMZ have learned that troubled Laguna Beach star Jessica Smith has just been released from an Orange County jail after being charged with two misdemeanor counts of DUI.

Smith, 19, spent nearly three days behind bars after her arrest Monday on suspicion of felony driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs, and causing "great bodily injury" during a car crash on the Santa Ana Freeway near L.A. This hot Jessica Smith mug shot soon followed.

Man, everyone is getting busted for driving wasted these days. Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, Vivica A. Fox, Taboo.

DUI is totally becoming the new stalking!

Jessica Smith had a blood alcohol level of .12, significantly above California's legal limit of .08. She's also underage, of course. Ouch.

TMZ reports that because Smith wasn't charged with a felony (unlike her loser ex-boyfriend), her bail was reduced from $100,000 to $5,000, but Smith was apparently unable to raise even the reduced sum until today.

Under the terms of her release, Smith has been ordered not to drink alcohol and to attend one AA meeting a week until her arraignment April 25. Maybe she and Britney Spears can go to the same meetings. Cute!

Jessica recently took some off from Orange County's Saddleback College to tour Europe as a spokesperson for the travel guide, "Let's Go."

She then returned to school (and Season 3 of Laguna Beach, loser), but that may change if she returns to the Big House instead! Oh snap!

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It looks as though we may get the chance to see the British equivalent of Kristin Cavallari real soon. Which is pretty sweet.

The producers of Hollyoaks and Lime Pictures are planning to make a UK version of Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County, in a deal with MTV.

A group of youths ages 16-18 from Alderley Edge in Cheshire will feature in the pilot, following their lives as they organize and attend a Valentine's Day ball.

The 30-minute debut will air later this year, with an eight-part series planned thereafter.

The show, as yet unnamed, is the first foray into reality TV programming for the production company.

In the U.S., Laguna Beach has been enormously successful thus far, garnering high ratings for a cable show and spawning a hit spinoff, The Hills, starring Laguna alumna Lauren Conrad and BFF Heidi Montag.

The U.S. version, which appears on MTV in the States and in the UK, has completed three seasons. The cast of Season 3 featured an entirely new group of privileged and often-annoying teens, but man was it good.

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What we learned last night on the season finale of Laguna Beach was, not shockingly, that graduation is a sad affair. A lot of people said so. Over and over again. This is as much a function of high school as of being on camera. Teenagers live in a high school bubble that's both sad and hard to leave. Even Kristin Cavallari got weepy over it last season.

As for this year's biatches, even Cami and Kyndra spell out precisely what they're thinking -- that graduation is, like, so sad!

Totally!

"It's so hard," Kyndra whined.

Meanwhile, Rocky was, as usual, strangely wise when assessing graduation and its impact on her relationship with Alex.

"There's no point to like be together through summer if it's just gonna end," the unbelievably cute Rocky (pictured, real name: Raquel Donatelli) told her mom while discussing her relationship with Alex.

"I know you're worried," said Mom, who's a sweetheart herself. "And I don't wanna see your little heart get broken, that's for sure.''

Eerily both less and more sensitive was Kyndra.

"If you don't cry, I'm gonna kill you," she told Cameron as they started their touching slide show of the seniors' childhood pics. "I'll punch you so you, like, start crying."

Cameron, in one of several heart-to-hearts with Kelan that indicated the two were actually way closer than we knew, expressed that he is sincerely bummed about the seniors leaving, and having to start over in college. As he helped Kelan pack for San Diego State, we saw a side of the meathead we never knew existed. He seems like a good friend.

A bunch of other convenient plot tie-ups happened after that. The awkward Breanna Conrad (sister of Lauren Conrad) wrote a make-up letter to Rocky, Chase and Tessa had a final subtext-laden conversation before he left to record his new album in L.A. Oh, yes, and Cameron called Jessica Smith one last time after feeling surprisingly lonely.

And so it was that we had our final dramatic moment of the night
:

CAMERON:
Everyone's like moving on to like bigger and better things... You're like one of my best friends. You are.

JESSICA: Thanks.

CAMERON: You know like usually after like people are like together and then, like, they're like not together anymore?

JESSSICA: Yeah, they don't talk.

CAMERON: It's awkward. You like don't wanna be around that person and stuff. It's like, it's really weird.

JESSICA: It was fun though.

CAMERON: I don't know. History repeats itself. What, why are you giving me the look, man?

JESSICA: Not in our case.

CAMERON: C'mon now. Do you think you'd like turn into my girlfriend?

The answer seemed to be no. But you never know with these girls.

"I will have a girlfriend," Cameron later told Chase, who he was also better buds with than previous episodes revealed. "But I'm not gonna like settle down to a girlfriend until I meet someone where I'm just like, 'I'm so lucky to be with this chick. If she breaks up with me, like I'm gonna be bummed for like a year.'"

Sometimes, our Laguna Beach kids are startlingly astute. And while there was some more about Rocky and Alex staying together, which was actually really sweet, as he cares about her a lot, even through is utter lack of communication skills, Cameron's deep thoughts seem an appropriate way to end the season. So we will.

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On Laguna Beach last night, the cuties Rocky and Tessa renegotiated their relationships with their former exes before, during and after the junior prom; and Chase's band actually gets signed by a major record label.

Yes, that actually happened. But as my wife astutely observed, getting a record contract does not make Open Air Stereo good.

And they're not. It merely means the label believes it can move albums. Kevin Federline got a record contract, and Chase (pictured) and his buds will surely outsell that jackass by virtue of their Laguna Beach fame alone. So that's that.

Now, down to business. The prom episode (which preceded the record contract episode) got us thinking. Rocky, bless her heart, really breaks the Laguna mold. Sure, she has her catty and moody moments. But she never plays to the camera like some of her bitchy counterparts.

When her repentant ex, Alex, suddenly morphed into Mr. Sensitive (despite calling her a f&%king slut last week, and retaining his lofty status as the worst communicator in history) and wanted to meet at the beach to reunite, she was more or less receptive to the idea.

"I want you back, plain and simple," said Alex, clearly expecting her to weep with gratitude. And she was grateful. But (thank goodness), she at least said, "You don't just get me back" and is making him earn it.

But she's clearly under the spell. Rocky's mom (we love it when parents make cameos on the show) told her, "There's a lot of risk when he's a boyfriend," to which Raquel replied, "But I like the risk."

Deep. Next we see Tessa was stringing fake flowers onto a volleyball net with Alex, an exercise that later revealed itself to be part of his prom-asking ritual for Rocky. As ridiculous as this prom-asking ritual is, it's kinda cute that he's trying so hard.

Now, something to snap us out of that happy mood: Kyndra. When Cami suggests that she wear red lipstick to prom, K replies, "I'll just look like a hooker." Cami's reply? "No, you'll look like a glamorous hooker." Somebody stab us in the eye with a salad fork.

Lexie, not unsurprisingly, bailed on the prom and that guy Derek early to go to dance class the next day, thus teaching Derek an important lesson: Prom, like everything else in high school, will never live up to the hype. His first choice dropped him like it's hot, but luckily, Derek and Tessa ended up kissing at the after-party, disappearing into the basement and all that good stuff. Jason Wahler would be proud.

Then it was time for the boys of Open Air Stereo to go through the motions of playing at the Roxy, which went fine, but let's be serious. Bands just as good are playing gigs all over the country for nothing but a free round of beers and the chance to be on stage. These kids belt out a few mediocre songs, then get a magical phone call from Epic Records?

Yeah, right, and some girl from Laguna Beach can get an internship at Teen Vogue with no magazine experience. Oh wait. Sorry, Lauren Conrad.

Speaking of Conrads, LC's younger sister, Breanna Conrad, makes us cringe. Not because she's evil or bitchy or conniving, just because she's so damn awkward. We like her... at least we want to. But the immaturity -- even for Laguna -- is off the chain.

Seriously, Breanna. Get a grip.

Then there's Tessa, who's also pining for Derek. We could literally see her eyes tailing Derek around the club from across the room. This girl is pretty and she is nice, too, deep down, but she's desperate and pathetic. This is probably why all the girls rip on her so bad.

But seriously, Derek? This guy is so dull. Chase, on the other hand? Well, at least he seems like a normal dude. Clearly Tessa agrees.

"I don't trust guys anymore," she tells Chase, while, you know, casually hanging out on his bed with him looking ridiculously cute.

"I trust one person."

Hit that!

What do you think of the latest Laguna Beach drama? How long will Rocky and Alex last? Why aren't Tessa and Chase together? How are the producers going to wrap it all up on the season finale? And have you already pre-ordered Open Air Stereo's debut album?

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The original Laguna Beach drama queen recently revealed she's not too fond of the new cast of the somehow-wildly-popular MTV hit show.

Yes, Kristin Cavallari says she thinks the new cast is just putting on a facade with their so-called "drama," while overemphasizing petty, little things.

Kristin at the Salon

Because, as we all know, Kristin, Lauren Conrad, Heidi Montag and the rest of these SoCal cuties never blow anything out of proportion.

In any case, at a red carpet event last last month, the young starlet said she's not buying the hyped up Season 3 drama for one minute.

Kristin says the f*%king sluts on the new show are just acting to stir up more ratings drama and get as much attention as they can. The blonde admits she's given up watching episodes of the weekly show that made her a star.

"I've watched the first few episodes, but I don't think I'll be watching it again! It just seems like the new cast is trying too hard to be like us and they seem to be overly dramatic about every little thing, it's ridiculous," she said. "It's a joke. For us, the drama just came to us, but for them, it seems like they're the ones who go looking for it!"

When asked if she ever hung out with -- or even spoke to -- Kyndra or other members of the new cast, Kristin hesitated for about a tenth of a second.

"No way, I would have never been caught dead talking to freshmen," said Kristin Cavallari, 19.

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As Entertainment Weekly so accurately observes, someone with an advanced anthropology degree has to explain to us the dating and mating habits of the teenagers of Laguna Beach.

T.H. Gossip simply can't understand the romantic behavior exhibited on this episode, even by Laguna Beach standards. Last night we were treated to the kids' traditional spring-break migration to Cabo San Lucas.

Right. Because every high schooler parties in Cabo for Spring Break. Who are these people?

Even though Cami warned Kyndra that her older ex, Tyler, was probably going to ruin their trip, Kyndra devoted her entire vacation to him. First, she laid into Tyler when he called her and her friends "stage-five cling-ons" for being in the same hotel as him.

THG MEMO TO TYLER: You're the one hanging around with high-school kids, you dumbass. And what supposedly cool college kid goes on spring break with his sister and his mom? Get a clue!

Later, in a nightclub, Kyndra flirted with her one-time hook-up, Cameron, reminding him that they were now both single. Tyler, enraged, screamed at her, "You're a f---ing slut!" Those, apparently, were the magic words that unlocked her heart, because she almost instantly started macking it with Tyler, reminding him of their happier, less annoying days.

They made out on the dance floor. Cameron looked on in disgust.

The next night, Kyndra was astonished to learn that Tyler was at the same nightclub as her and getting his freak with another blonde.

It's unclear whether she was shouting, "Slut! Slut!" at her ex or her ex's new blonde friend, but she was definitely pissed.

As Cami put it later, "That was by far the most bad trip, Cabo trip, we've ever been on before."

Dear God, she sucks.

Sluttiness was definitely the episode's unifying theme. While preparing for her vacation, Breanna Conrad, the less-cute and slightly-pathetic sister of Lauren Conrad, admitted she was planning to kiss Derek, even though he had only just broken up with Tessa.

When her friend Kylie pointed out that rebound kissing was illegal under Laguna Beach's dating bylaws, Breanna's mom chimed in: "I think that's a stupid rule. Once you're broken up, you're broken up, and free game."

Breanna's mom, who happened to overhear this, echoed her younger daughter's sentiment. After all, what mom doesn't encourage their high school kids to hook up with guys at every possible moment?

Kyndra was having none of this, however. When Breanna and Derek did finally kiss in Cabo, Kyndra and her friends shouted -- wait for it -- "Slut!"

Evidently, in Laguna Beach, once two people kiss, they're supposed to be paired off for life. That would seem to be fine by Tessa Keller, who is still clinging to the hope that she can get back together with Derek, her one-date wonder. Chase didn't help when he said that Derek would probably come back from Cabo and tell her he missed her.

Perhaps the highlight of the night was when a drunk Breanna tried to get Kelan (he of absolutely no balls) and Lexie to hook up. Lexie just stared off into space, snapping her gum as if acknowledging LC's sister were so far beneath her, and as if she were emitting some sort of loser-protectant gas. To say the least, it was choice.

When Tessa finally joins Doormats Anonymous, which should be sometime in December at this rate, the first thing they're going to tell her to do is stop talking to Chase. Speaking of Tessa, she and Rocky were absent for almost the entire show, visiting her family in Virginia. That is so weak. We love Rocky!

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Back from Europe this week, Jessica vents to her rough-looking pal, Emily, about Cameron and Kyndra's winter formal hookup.

Jess goes off on Kyndra, calling her some really nasty names, but gives Laguna Beach's favorite player enough credit to have dinner with him that night.

This is a perfect example of why Jessica sucks.

She should be pissed at Cameron, who is supposedly her boyfriend, but at the same time, she is beyond pathetic and clingy to boot. The fact that she's still appearing on Laguna Beach almost every week after graduating high school LAST YEAR really says it all. It's over! Move on! Man, what a weirdo.

At dinner, Cameron and Jessica argue about their relationship but Cam calls Jessica on her "flirty fighting," which is so dead on! She was so obviously looking for reassurance that Cameron likes her better than anyone else, but got nada. It was enormously painful.

The next day Jessica tells a friend that Cam said that he'll always love her but he's not "in love" with her. Good lord. That's almost as bad as the "it's not you, it's me" classic. Later that day, Cameron officially dumps Jess, even though she basically had to coerce it out of him. The meathead apparently does have feelings.

Tessa goes out on a great date with cutie Derek, but things get a little serious when Derek wants to know what the damn deal is with the animosity between Tess, Cami and Kyndra. Tessa reveals that a couple of years ago she was hospitalized for an allergic reaction to medication, and while she was recuperating, Cami and Kyndra dropped off the radar.

Bitches.

Cut to Cami and Kyndra shopping and bitching about Derek and Tessa dating, and how they can't understand the attraction. But the real jaw-dropping moment of the night came when the cashier told Cami her total was $4,285.

How much do you want to bet that Cami asked the cashier to say that out loud simply for the camera's benefit. Skank.

Derek throws a barbecue and before his new love Tessa gets there, Kyndra, Cami and Nikki dog her in front of the boys. Right after Tessa arrives, the meanies make their exit. I swear to f*%king God, these girls make me want to fly to Laguna Beach and kick their pompous asses my f*%king self.

Tessa is bummed from the whole situation and hopes for better things to come. Fortunately, lovable Rocky gives her some sage advice about not worrying about what people think, and following her heart. The girl sounds like a therapist or a motivational speaker. What experience does she have to draw from?

Probably zilch. But she's a good friend and a cutie, too.

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