Kristin Cavallari
Gossip (Page 2)

This week on The Hills, Justin-Bobby continued to play mind games with Kristin, Holly got plastered again and Jayde Nicole went absolutely insane on Brody.

As always, The Hollywood Gossip editorial board looks back at back the previous night's The Hills (as we do for The City) awarding and taking away points  ...

This week's episode title comes from a text Justin sent Kristin after ditching her beach party, referring to her three strike rule. Yes, he wrote that. Minus 7.

Later, he surprises "boo" by showing up anyway. Plus 6, because like the naked guy on How I Met Your Mother, J-B's unpredictability totally works on girls.

Kristin Cavallari sure overdoes the fake Valley Girl accent, over-pronouncing each syllable trying to sound ditzy. Liiiiiike, yaaaaaa, Bro-dayyyyyy. Minus 5.

HOT preview for New Moon during commercials! Plus 3.

Holly Montag says her true love is Jack. As in Daniel. Minus 4 for this dreadful cliche and being one of the sloppier drunks out there. We hope she's acting.

Despite being wrapped around Justin's finger, Kristin admits she has feelings for Bro-dayyyyyy. Ahh, there's nothing like a freshly contrived love triangle. Plus 2.

Speaking of Brody's love life, either MTV's editors want to sabotage Jayde Nicole, or she is rapidly becoming mentally unbalanced. Jealous much. Jayde? Minus 6.

Random dude off-camera: "What is up with Holly?" Great question. Plus 9.

Team Enzo! Plus 7, because even Spencer Pratt is warming to his adorable little neighbor. He tries, but can't even pretend to hate him anymore. It's kind of cute.

For the love of G*d, what the hell is Holly wearing at Speidi's!? Minus 4. Is The Hills secretly a cult where you have to drop 25 pounds and get plastic surgery?

Concerned Heidi Montag tells her troubled, drunk sis that she would, like, do anything for her (going to her b-party without a fee notwithstanding). Plus 6. B!tch.

Obligatory Minus 5 for Kristin not being Lauren Conrad. Are we really supposed to care about this girl and become invested in all her personal drama? Fail.

For the Love of Ray J preview during commercials! Plus 3.

TOTAL: +5! SEASON TOTAL: +43! We're still having a hard time caring about Kristin in any way, but at least Holly, Jayde and Justin are total loose cannons.

As love triangles on The Hills go, at least this one is semi-believable.

Brody Jenner and Kristin Cavallari were an item three years ago. He and Jayde Nicole are together now. So Jayde being jealous of Kristin makes some sense.

It's better than expecting us to believe Justin-Bobby would miraculously date someone. Yes, Audrina did. But the Justin-Kristin "romance" was a complete sham.

Anyway. In a new clip from MTV's long-running "reality" hit, Brody Jenner tells Jayde he's not sure if he still has feelings for Kristin, now the star of the show.

Jayde then issues her man an ultimatum: It's me or her.

Brody Jenner with his girlfriends, then and now. Team Kristin or Team Jayde?

"I don't want to hook up with Kristin, but do I know if I have feelings for her? Not really," Jenner said when asked to clarify his feelings for his ex-girlfriend.

Needless to say, that explanation isn't going to play well with Jayde Nicole. Some haters have labeled her a jealous girl. At the very least, she's passionate.

"Why are we even sitting here talking if you don't know if you have feelings for another girl?" Jayde responds. "You figure out what you want to do ... If you want to be back together and you want to apologize, you can call me."

Follow the jump for a clip from tonight's episode of The Hills ...

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Kristin Cavallari looks damn good in a bikini.

The same can't be said for how she looks on TV screens, however, according to The Hills fan base, which is dwindling with each passing episode.

MTV dredged up Kristin Cavallari, former Laguna Beach bad girl, in hopes that she could inject new life into its struggling cash cow, The Hills.

So far, the new season can be summed up in two words: Epic. Fail.

Somewhere in West Hollywood, Lauren Conrad is probably ROTFL.

Ratings for The Hills are down by a third this season, i.e. as soon as LC called it a reality TV career and the network inexplicably decided that the "reality" show could go on just as successfully if they inserted Kristin as the lead character.

Is Kristin Cavallari solely to blame for the viewership decline?

While Kristin's "return" has been disappointing for myriad reasons, Lauren leaving is probably just as big a factor behind the show's declining viewership.

Even though the show was at times contrived and she could be a bit exasperating, LC was always a real person, and one peeps generally liked watching.

Normal Lauren and insane, but entertaining Speidi struck a nice balance. Kristin Cavallari and Justin freaking Bobby as the focal point? Not so much.

A 33 percent dropoff is fairly significant, and will be hard to reverse. At this rate, you have to think the current season of The Hills will be its last.

Last night on The Hills, Justin-Bobby cast his familiar spell over both Kristin and Audrina, while Holly Montag was enraptured by something else toxic: Alcohol.

As always, The Hollywood Gossip looks back the previous night's episode of The Hills (as we do for The City) awarding and taking away points as we see fit ...

Kristin Cavallari's dad on Brody Jenner: "Is he still in love with himself?" Plus 4.

Kristin on Brody and Jayde Nicole: "They're one of those couples that's either all over each other in public or screaming and breaking up." So true! Plus 3.

Audrina Patridge hangs out with Justin's buddy Derek, who notes that Audrina and Justin were off-and-on for four years. Four years! Belated Minus 7.

Reflecting on Justin ditching her at Brody's, Kristin insists she's gonna make him work for it. Her annoying hair flipping tells us this is untrue. Minus 5.

Holly Montag gets plastered at Brent Bolthouse's Photo Exhibit. Plus 11 for leaving even Spencer speechless, and Plus 2 more for Holly's classic drunk-girl line: "Like, I feel like every second of my life is the greatest second of my life!"

Obligatory Minus 2 for Stephanie Pratt's awful plastic surgery, but Plus 9 for the irony of her commenting on Holly's drinking problem when just last Sunday, Stephanie got arrested for DUI ... after Holly's wild birthday party!

Spencer calls Holly the "girl version of Spencer Pratt" in referencing her drinking too much. Still, you can tell he kind of means it as a compliment. Plus 3.

Holly Montag arrives at Speidi's intervension and orders a margarita in the first five seconds. Perhaps a Mexican restaurant wasn't the best venue. Plus 5.

Justin-Bobby cooks Kristin dinner and half-heartedly apologizes for flaking on Brody's party. Naturally, Kristin's defenses (and pants) drop. He disposes of his shirt, they meander into the bedroom and bone. Absolutely pathetic. Minus 5.

For whatever reason, Audrina meets Justin-Bobby for drinks. He says nothing compares to her and that he and Kristin aren't together. He says she shouldn't hang out with Derek again. She agrees. Absolutely beyond pathetic. Minus 10.

TOTAL: +8! SEASON TOTAL: +38! The Hills thrives on such things, but a Justin-Bobby love triangle is hard to be enthralled by. We can't believe we're saying this, but more Speidi! Hopefully Stephanie's DUI was caught on tape.

The fake relationship of Kristin Cavallari and Justin-Bobby has been a theme on the current season of The Hills, with the b!tch blatantly moving in on Audrina's ex.

Audrina Patridge says she stopped caring awhile ago, however.

"At the end of the day, it's a show," Patridge said at MTV's Los Premios in Los Angeles Thursday. "It's entertainment. You can't take anything serious on that show."

Kristin Cavallari and Audrina Patridge clashed on the season premiere because the former pursued the latter's ex-boyfriend, despite his lack of personal hygiene.

Asked if she and Cavallari have ended their feud, Patridge said, "I don't know. I don't know how it's going to play out. We have three weeks of filming, that's it."

Sounds like she's checked out already. Not that we blame her.

OMG RLY!? Kristin Cavallari can't even fake act on a reality show. Audrina Patridge can't take her seriously. Neither can we. [Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Patridge is getting ready to leave The Hills after this season to star in her own reality TV show, to be executive produced by Survivor creator Mark Burnett.

The 24-year-old, who just split with Corey Bohan, who she dated after she and J-B broke up, is happy to leave the contrived nonsense bitchiness behind.

"I'm an adult now, and I don't need to put up with all the petty drama and drinking and fighting ... I've been there, done that, and I'm ready to move on."

Sadly for MTV, many fans may start to feel the same.

Whose side are you on?

Last night on The Hills, the gang threw a surprise party for Brody, Speidi bickered over kids, and Kristin and Justin-Bobby's fake relationship took a familiar turn.

As always, The Hollywood Gossip staff looks back the previous night's installment of MTV's hit "reality" show, awarding and deducting points as required ...

Stacie and Kristin go shopping for Brody Jenner's birthday. For sex toys, at the Hustler store. Kristin says Brody is too "vanilla" in the sack. Plus 5 for TMI.

In case you were concerned, the opening scene on the beach makes clear that Justin-Bobby has not become less of a douche since last week. Minus 3.

WTF happened to Stephanie Pratt's face? Bad plastic surgery alert! Minus 4.

Brody's surprise party clearly wasn't a surprise. The camera crew typically gives it away. No negative points, though, because people blow surprises in real life, too, and Plus 1 for Brody's first birthday request: "Frankie, give me a hug!"

Brody is now listed as "Kristin's ex" instead of "Lauren's friend." Plus 2.

Brody and Jayde Nicole, who he straight up calls a "b!tch," get into a major fight at the party for no discernable reason. Plus 3, though, because it's Jayde Nicole, and it's The Hills. The show is nothing without unexplained female implosions.

Audrina agrees to meet a guy named Derek who was Justin's friend, and who Justin always got jealous of because he thought Derek liked her. Hold on a second, Justin-Bobby has friends? Who apparently bathe? We don't buy it. Minus 2.

Speaking of guys who you wouldn't think have friends, Spencer Pratt confides in pal Charlie about Heidi wanting to procreate. Enter neighbor Enzo, and subsequent tube-tying comments by Spencer. All we have to say? Team Enzo! Plus 9.

Justin-Bobby pulls a no-show at Brody's party, ditching Kristin Cavallari. At least he's consistent. Maybe she and Audrina can bond over this. Okay, not really, but Plus 4.

Another Plus 2 for how happy this makes Audrina when she hears about it.

Spence: "Only a true man can wear a beaver-skin hat out to dinner." Minus 3. Seconds later: "Is this a marriage or a dictatorship?" Says the guy who was most overbearing, obsessive-compulsive boyfriend in history. Minus 4.

TOTAL: +10! SEASON TOTAL: +30! The Hills rarely disappoints. Especially when adorable little kids get Spencer all riled up, or that b!tch Kristin gets hers.

Looks like the fake relationship Kristin Cavallari and Justin-Bobby have been building on The Hills will heat up even more on next week's episode.

Living up to her scripted reputation as a "man-eater" and a "boyfriend-stealer" on the reality show, Kristin gets all cozy with Justin on the beach.

"C'mere, you sexy bitch," Cavallari seductively tells Justin-Bobby (real name Justin Brescia) from the afar, watching him surfing. "Lookin' good!"

J-B then shows off his awesome "Italy" tattoo across his stomach, prompting Kristin Cavallari to remark that she wants two more tats on her feet.

Absolutely scintillating stuff, we know.

He is unable to entice her into the water, as she says rather kick it and have a glass of wine. Justin notes that it's a little early to start drinking.

Her response? "It's never too early."

Classy babe, she. Here's the clip:

You Sexy Bitch

Audrina Patridge is quite happy and single, thankyouverymuch.

But still, she can’t sit back and watch man-eater Kristin Cavallari steal her on-off boyfriend, Justin Brescia, a.k.a. Justin Bobby, without some bitterness.

On the season premiere of The Hills, new star Kristin flirted with Justin-Bobby, telling off Audrina and pals. Last week, she and J-B hooked up for real.

Audrina believes that Justin and Kristin are “just trying to make a good show, start drama, and trying to hype it up and I understand that,” she said.

“But at the same time, have a heart.”

These two aren't exactly fast friends. [Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

"It’s hard to sit back and try to film with her and to try to be friends with her when someone is bashing you like that," Audrina Patridge says of Kristin.

Audrina, who is planning on doing her own reality show with Mark Burnett in December, is also turning a new page on the romantic front, leaving both Justin-Bobby and her most recent fling, BMX rider, Corey Bohan, in the dust.

“Corey and I are not together, we actually broke up a few weeks ago,” she said. “I couldn’t give 110 percent like he wanted, so I decided to break it off.”

As for Justin and Kristin's fake relationship, Audrina says she's come to terms with it. We don't expect her to be invited to the fake wedding, though.

Whose side are you on?

On last night's season episode of The Hills, Kristin and Justin-Bobby took their fake relationship to the next level, while Speidi argued about kids a lot.

Below, The Hollywood Gossip staff reviews the most recent memorable installment of MTV's "reality" hit, awarding and deducting points as it sees fit ...

Stacie to Kristin: "We're two, like, kinda bitches." So true, and so right. Plus 4.

These girls have really long, fake-looking hair. Except Jayde. She rules. Even.

Heidi Montag thinks having a child will "mature" Spencer Pratt. This logic is comically flawed, but is just the sort of thing an airhead like Heidi would actually believe, and she's far from the only woman to think this, so ... Even.

Lo seems a little uncomfortable at lunch with Kristin, twirling her hair like a madwoman. Kristin Cavallari trying to act makes us squirm, too. Plus 3.

It gets worse when Kristin says she'll mess with Audrina if she messes with her. Does MTV just hand Kristin a pile of quotes, all pertaining to bitchiness and being the girl version of a player, and tell her to work them in? Minus 5.

Speidi has neighbors. They look nice. We feel sorry for them. Minus 2.

Audrina Patridge invites the gang to an Epic Records concert event at an L.A. club. Yay, obvious but effective cross promotion! Vedera was pretty good too. Plus 2.

Props to Stephanie Pratt for flat-out asking what the band looks like and not even feigning interest in the music. Plus 2. Plus 3 more her disgust when it's a chick.

Chiara sighting! Plus 1.

Spencer Pratt on children: "I can barely be around adults, how am I supposed to be around kids?" Plus 8. Side note: How cute is the lil' neighbor kid Enzo!?

Later, the evil one tells his baby crazy wife that he wants to get his "tubes tied like tomorrow." Much like when a guy we knew in college used to say chicks wanted to "bone" him, we're not sure that phrase works for a guy. Minus 2.

Justin-Bobby arrives with Kristin - clean shaven, with his shirt buttoned all the way up, wearing suspenders - then slow dances and makes out with her. Who slow dances at a club? What is this, Laguna Beach senior prom? Minus 9.

OMFG is Justin-Bobby really wearing a sparkly, motorcycle helmet?!? He is. Minus 6.

Finally, the quote of the night goes to Casey Patridge: "Justin's a douche." Close second? Jayde Nicole, re: Kristin: "Omigod I can't stand her!" Plus 12.

TOTAL: +11! SEASON TOTAL: +20! The Hills can annoy the crap out of you sometimes, and may be totally scripted, but man, this show still entertains.

On Tuesday night's season premiere of The Hills, Kristin Cavallari made her presence felt early and often. Amazing what huge paychecks and scripts can do. Meanwhile, Spencer put a deposit on a house without telling his duck-lipped plastic wife.

Below, The Hollywood Gossip staff reviews Kristin's first episode of MTV's long-running "reality" TV series and awards and deducts points as it sees fit ...

The last-season-in-review montage showing Lauren Conrad departing airs, with Kristin as the show's new narrator. That's cold $h!t, MTV. Cold. Minus 2.

The girls sit around, reading cue cards and giving us the 411 on Kristin Cavallari, who they've just been informed will be on The Hills ... and will be their new friend, apparently. Hey, at least their disdain is for real. Plus 5.

Why would Spencer assume Kristin would go after Justin-Bobby, who looks homeless and by all accounts does not bathe, of all the people at the party? What about Frankie Delgado or Sleazy T? This whole scenario is so ridiculous. Minus 16.

Plus 9 for the obligatory Brody Jenner shirtless and sleeveless shots, and Plus 2 more because Jayde Nicole shows no signs of Joe Francis whomping on her.

Newlywed Heidi Montag says her goal in life is to keep her husband happy. Spoken like a true feminist. Cook, clean and break out the knee pads, Heidi. Minus 5.

Kristin to Audrina: "Your sidekick is yappin' her mouth at me!" Ten seconds into the season and she already knows the role of Stephanie Pratt. Plus 4.

LMAO moment: What in the effing hell is Spencer wearing when he and Heidi pretend to go house hunting? Why are his jeans tucked into his boots? Minus 1.

Stacie the bartender calls Audrina a stage-five clinger. Plus 2 for Stacie's unexplained, contrived appearance on the show, which is not even attempting to seem real at this point, and Plus 2 more for the use of Wedding Crashers quotes.

Even Kristin's voice sounds fake, like she's trying too hard to sound overly dramatic on her "date" with Justin-Bobby. Give us a freaking break. Minus 3.

Spencer puts a deposit down on a place without telling Heidi, who hates it. The more things change, the more they stay the same (and obnoxious). Plus 12.

Fittingly, the quote of the night goes to Kristin Cavallari: [on being a Capricorn] "I'm stubborn ... organized ... I have the BEST bed." Words fail us. Even.

TOTAL: +9! The Hills is what it is. If you can get past how obviously staged it all is, there's still a lot of drama and entertainment value to be enjoyed.