Kristin Cavallari
Gossip

On The Hills this week, Heidi worried about how Spencer doesn't want kids, while tension escalated between Jayde Nicole and Kristin Cavallari over Brody Jenner.

As always, The Hollywood Gossip editors look back at the major developments on Tuesday's episode of The Hills, awarding and deducting points as we see fit ...

Brody on Kristin's plan to meet Jayde Nicole: "You're out of your mind! She just tried to kill you." Plus 5, because that's literally true, but he says it so nonchalantly.

Heidi Montag's therapist tries to tell her that pulling the goalie on Spencer Pratt isn't the most sound idea. Minus 4 because Heidi needed a therapist to tell her this.

Brody's bro Taylor tells him he's more fun when he's around Kristin than he is around Jayde. Plus 3, because the lack of violent altercations does go a long way.

As if Kristin's actions weren't 100 percent scripted, Jayde rips her for being "in town for a month" and says she needs to "go back where she came from." Minus 6.

Kristin to Jayde: "Well, then you might want to keep his leash a little tighter, Jayde." Seconds later: "You're, like, such a bitch, Jayde." Burn and burn! Plus 7.

Brody Jenner ex-girlfriends Jayde Nicole and Kristin Cavallari square off.

Fake friendship/lunch date alert x2: Lo-Kristin and Audrina-Heidi! Minus 4.

Heidi outlines her plan to stop taking her birth control to Audrina, whose enormous forehead expands to even more epic proportions at this lunacy. Plus 3.

Man, Jayde is really unstable. So much so that Brody Jenner says he'll "jump off a building" if he has to argue with her one more time. Good sign. Minus 2.

Despite the fact that she appears more bipolar by the second, Brody decides he wants to stay with Jayde! Plus 6 for something we actually didn't see coming.

Kristin laments that she's always caught in the middle - first Audrina and Justin, now Brody and Jayde, when she's doing it all on freaking purpose! Minus 9.

Even Justin-Bobby's voicemail is garbled and undecipherable. Plus 2.

Umm, was that an actual normal dinner conversation and married couple moment from Speidi? Even, because we're too shocked to rate it one way or the other.

TOTAL: +1! SEASON TOTAL: +78! Mixed reviews this week, because the Speidi plot is getting old, and a meddling Kristin Cavallari can't expect us to care about her hurt feelings, even if Jayde is certifiably insane. Speaking of ...

Whose side are you on?

Kristin Cavallari and Jayde Nicole got into a screaming - and shoving - match on last week's episode of The Hills, but it looks like that was just the beginning.

Tonight, the two sit down to discuss their conflict, which centers on Brody Jenner, Kristin's ex and Jayde's ... possible ex. Their status is a little bit unclear.

If Brody and Jayde aren't broken up, they're at least "taking a break," and Brody's definitely hanging out with Kristin. As friends? As possibly more? Well ...

“You don’t think that in the entire city of Hollywood you could find other guys other than Justin and Brody?” Jayde Nicole pointedly asks Kristin Cavallari.

Kristin takes issue with the reference to Justin-Bobby (who dated Audrina Patridge), replying, “I was never friends with Audrina. I don’t owe her anything.”

Kristin. Jayde. Cat fight. It's on. [Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

The not-at-all-scripted scene from the episode has been leaked online, giving us a sneak peek at what's to come as the women of Brody Jenner square off.

The conversation goes something like this.

Jayde: “Hey, I don’t like Audrina either.”
Kristin: “So why are you even bringing Justin into this equation?”
Jayde: “Because it seems like a pattern with you. Everything was totally fine before you came here, so you need to go back to wherever it is that you came from.”
Kristin: “You are such a bitch, Jayde. I have to tell you, like, you’re a bitch.”

That about sums it up. Whose side are you on?

On The Hills this week, Brody and Kristin debated rekindling their flame, Audrina lamented that hers for Justin-Bobby won't die, and Spencer had a brilliant idea.

As always, The Hollywood Gossip editors look back at Tuesday night's episode of The Hills (as we do for The City) awarding and deducting points as we see fit for ...

Brody and Kristin meet for dinner. He says it's good to be single. Kristin says Jayde Nicole is gonna come after her soon. Obvious foreshadowing alert! Plus 4.

Spencer Pratt to Heidi Montag and her pleading to have a baby: "I ... I ... I. Everything is I. There's a 'we' in marriage." Ha, as if. Typical naive guy. Minus 2.

Team Enzo! Plus 5, and Plus 2 more for him playing with the little dogs Spencer got Heidi to make her not want kids. Plus 1 more for that failing miserably.

Audrina to Lo, re: Justin: "Why won't the spark go out, Lo!?" Barf. Minus 6, because her taste is sooo bad, but Plus 3 for Lo's reply: "Get a fire extinguisher."

Stacie has gone from "Bartender" to "Kristin's Friend." Plus 1.

Jayde Nicole and Kristin Cavallari nearly came to blows over Brody.

Brody's mom looks a little too much like Shauna Sand. Minus 2.

Spencer: "You gotta go to Beverly Hills when you talk about chopping off nuts." Plus 11, because 1. He's right; 2. He thought a vasectomy was easily reversible, and 3.; He cracked up like a 10-year-old when the doctor said "scrotum."

Enzo overhears Spencer talking about the incident and outs him to Heidi, telling her "Spencer went to the doctor!" Minus 3, Enzo, for this Guy Code violation.

Jayde just happens to be in the same place where Brody and Kristin are hanging out and goes bat$h!t insane. Plus 7, because despite how set up the altercation was, the pushing, shoving and f-bombs dropped indicate a real, mutual dislike.

Minus 8 for Justin-Bobby almost making it an entire episode without showing his ugly mug, then swooping in at the last minute to make Audrina look pathetic.

Justin on Kristin: "It was the first time I didn't have to worry about what Audrina thought." As if he did while they were together. Plus 2 for the straight face.

TOTAL: +27! SEASON TOTAL: +77! A quality cat fight, however contrived, always boosts totals, as does Spencer Pratt pretending to consider a vasectomy.

Audrina Patridge could't believe Kristin Cavallari dated her ex, Justin-Bobby Brescia, on The Hills, only to move on to another of her former flings.

But she's not outraged about Kristin dating Tal Cooperman. Just a bit mystified at the pathetic depths her newfound rival will apparently stoop to.

"Audrina thinks it's laughable. Tal and Kristin have gone out a few times now, but it's nothing serious," a source close to the reality star told Us.

"Tal and Audina never officially dated and are still friends."

Still, the source rhetorically asks what we are all thinking about Kristin Cavallari of late: "Why does she continue to chase Audrina's sloppy seconds?"

Audrina wonders why Kristin is so obsessed with men she dates.

Despite the on-air catfights you see each week on MTV's rapidly deteriorating franchise, Patridge isn't about to let Kristin's antics get her down.

"At the end of the day, it's a show," Audrina recently said of The Hills.

"It's entertainment. You can't take anything serious on that show."

Including grammar, apparently.

Whose side are you on?

Man. Either Kristin Cavallari really wants to stick it to Audrina Patridge, or The Hills producers are really working overtime to stir up the contrived drama we love.

The fake relationship of Kristin and Justin-Bobby Brescia has been a primary focal point this season. Justin-Bobby, of course, is Audrina Patridge's dirtbag ex.

She's moved on now, though. To Tal Cooperman, who also dated Audrina.

“It’s brand new. They’re having a lot of fun enjoying getting to know each other better,” says a source of Kristin and Tal, co-owner of DCMA Collective clothing.

“It’s not for the show. They hit it off and have been hanging out off-camera.”

All together now: Yeah, right!

Kristin Cavallari clearly has a type: Guys who have once hit it with Audrina Patridge, who MTV conveniently gives her the phone numbers of and pays her to pursue.

According to sources, Cooperman and Cavallari enjoyed a date night Thursday in Los Angeles, where they were spotted partying at an ESPN bash. Fun.

They also shared a sushi dinner at Nobu and kissing at West Hollywood hotspot Voyeur, where we're sure they tried to keep an extremely low profile.

“[Kristin Cavallari and Tal Cooperman] were making out on one of the club’s VIP stages after midnight,” says a clubgoer. “They were all over each other.”

The duo made sure to keep things under wraps (yeah, right, again!)  by leaving the club separately ... but only after sealing their night with a kiss. HOT.

We wish this new couple all the best. Although we don't expect it will last that long. Call us crazy. Give it a few weeks and she'll be with Corey Bohan.

Kristin Cavallari is a very cute girl. One who can be painful to watch try to read cue cards and act out fake drama on The Hills, but nevertheless, a cute girl.

She's not afraid to show off, either. Wearing a short-sleeved, see-through lace shirt over her bra to a club this weekend, she left little to the imagination.

The $5 question is whether or not that's a good thing or not.

One of our favorite things about Lauren Conrad was that she never seemed desperate for attention. Her Hills replacement? Well, the outfit speaks for itself.

You tell us in the poll below: Is it sexy or just plain skanky?

Kristin Cavallari's outfit is totally ...

This week on The Hills, Audrina Patridge and Kristin Cavallari continued to feud over Justin-Bobby, while Spencer threw an "adult" birthday bash for Heidi.

As always, The Hollywood Gossip editors take a look back at last night's The Hills (as we do for The City) awarding and taking away points as we see fit ...

Brody Jenner and Kristin Cavallari walk on the beach waxing philosophical about what it would be like if they dated again. Cue cards, anyone? Minus 2.

Heidi Montag totally blackmails / guilt trips Spencer Pratt into throwing her a birthday party since she let him get his "porno pad." Ah, marriage. Plus 7.

Hearing Brody and Jayde are "on break," Audrina says Brody will never get lucky with another Playmate. Huh? All Brody does is date hot girls! Minus 3.

Kristin puts Justin-Bobby on the spot by talking about getting together with Audrina and dishing about him. Plus 6 because this made him so awkward.

WTF is that on Justin's head? An Elvis wig? Minus 1.

Worst. Fake. Love. Triangle. Ever.

LOL at the random Valley Girl Heidi clones who show up at her party. Plus 4, and Plus 2 more for Spencer surprising Heidi with two little dogs, which are so cute. Although that now gives her three mangy animals to clean up after.

The more we watch Kristin Cavallari, the more obvious it becomes why her acting career hasn't taken off. Not exactly news, but still, obligatory Minus 1.

Audrina passive-aggressively tears Kristin a new one behind her back during a heart-to-heart with Brody. Plus 5, because what she said was so true.

Kristin on Justin: "I have no respect for him now. None." Minus 3, because girls who say this about J-Bobby still can't keep their pants off his floor.

Lo actually plugs her Twitter on camera! So shameless! Plus 2, and Plus 1 more for her reply to Audrina wanting no part of Kristin drama: "totes."

Minus 10 for the Kristin-Justin "confrontation" at the end. Nothing ever gets resolved on this show, likely because much of the conflict is staged.

TOTAL: +7! SEASON TOTAL: +50! The Justin-Bobby drama is starting to wear quite thin, isn't it? We need more cat fights at clubs, ASAP.

On tonight's episode of The Hills, Audrina Patridge and Kristin Cavallari finally come face-to-face in their contrived conflict over that loser Justin "Bobby" Brescia.

Audrina admits when she first heard that Cavallari was seeing her ex, "I wanted to distance myself." As in from the reality show, permanently, we're guessing.

"That's why I wanted to sit down with you," says Kristin. "He [said], 'Audrina and I were never together,' which I'm sure is hard for you to hear as a woman."

Patridge replies to her adversary, "I did meet with him for drinks the other night. He said basically you two were never together and that he never got over me."

Stung, Cavallari then sarcastically rolls her eyes. After that, Audrina Patridge added, "As far as Justin, keep your distance, and I'll keep mine. And that's it."

Snap. It's so ON. Choose your side:

Follow the jump for a clip from tonight ...

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Kristin Cavallari is apparently drinking the MTV Kool-Aid. Which was probably fresh 2-3 years ago before it went completely stale. Oh, snap, we went there.

At the Rock the Kasbah charity gala in Hollywood last night, the reality star told E! Online that The Hills "is the No. 1 show and we are doing really well."

What exactly it ranks #1 in, she didn't say. Likely because you'd pretty much have to completely invent your own category to make that statement true.

We don't suppose it's worth noting that a rerun of the actual top-rated show on TV, NCIS, received 16 million viewers this week. The Hills? 1.72 million.

The Hills' ratings are declining, at least 30 percent in fact, starting the season at 2.1 million and sinking since. Still, when asked about it, Kristin insisted:

"No, they're not! We had one drop because of the Hip Hop awards on VH1, but they went up the next week." Mmm. Not so much, but whatever you say.

Kristin Cavallari thinks The Hills is doing great. Psst. No one tell her.

The once-popular show's ratings decline has received quite a lot of press, with many critics blaming Kristin's replacement of Lauren Conrad for the dip.

Kristin Cavallari calls that unfair: "At the end of the day it's not up to me to make a great show. "It's the whole crew, the whole cast. It's not just me."

"I think to put all that pressure on me is pretty unfair."

She may be right, but that was clearly MTV's marketing strategy, hyping the living hell out of her "return" with "The Bitch is Back" and other taglines.

Clearly The Hills needs some better fake storylines than the so-forced, fake love triangle they tried to create with Kristin, Audrina Patridge and Justin.

The world may be getting over Speidi, too. Don't get us wrong, they still entertain, but it was better when they feuded with each other (and with LC).

Now they just talk about ca-ra-zy sibs Stephanie and Holly? Zzz.

This week on The Hills, Justin-Bobby continued to play mind games with Kristin, Holly got plastered again and Jayde Nicole went absolutely insane on Brody.

As always, The Hollywood Gossip editorial board looks back at back the previous night's The Hills (as we do for The City) awarding and taking away points  ...

This week's episode title comes from a text Justin sent Kristin after ditching her beach party, referring to her three strike rule. Yes, he wrote that. Minus 7.

Later, he surprises "boo" by showing up anyway. Plus 6, because like the naked guy on How I Met Your Mother, J-B's unpredictability totally works on girls.

Kristin Cavallari sure overdoes the fake Valley Girl accent, over-pronouncing each syllable trying to sound ditzy. Liiiiiike, yaaaaaa, Bro-dayyyyyy. Minus 5.

HOT preview for New Moon during commercials! Plus 3.

Holly Montag says her true love is Jack. As in Daniel. Minus 4 for this dreadful cliche and being one of the sloppier drunks out there. We hope she's acting.

Despite being wrapped around Justin's finger, Kristin admits she has feelings for Bro-dayyyyyy. Ahh, there's nothing like a freshly contrived love triangle. Plus 2.

Speaking of Brody's love life, either MTV's editors want to sabotage Jayde Nicole, or she is rapidly becoming mentally unbalanced. Jealous much. Jayde? Minus 6.

Random dude off-camera: "What is up with Holly?" Great question. Plus 9.

Team Enzo! Plus 7, because even Spencer Pratt is warming to his adorable little neighbor. He tries, but can't even pretend to hate him anymore. It's kind of cute.

For the love of G*d, what the hell is Holly wearing at Speidi's!? Minus 4. Is The Hills secretly a cult where you have to drop 25 pounds and get plastic surgery?

Concerned Heidi Montag tells her troubled, drunk sis that she would, like, do anything for her (going to her b-party without a fee notwithstanding). Plus 6. B!tch.

Obligatory Minus 5 for Kristin not being Lauren Conrad. Are we really supposed to care about this girl and become invested in all her personal drama? Fail.

For the Love of Ray J preview during commercials! Plus 3.

TOTAL: +5! SEASON TOTAL: +43! We're still having a hard time caring about Kristin in any way, but at least Holly, Jayde and Justin are total loose cannons.