Kirstie Alley
Gossip

Kirstie Alley got really fat, lost some weight and then got fat again.

In this day and age, that's all it takes to land your own reality show.

Variety confirms the former Cheers star and Jenny Craig spokesperson will anchor a series (literally!!!) that chronicles her struggles with weight loss and being a single parent.

"Kirstie is exactly the kind of star A&E is drawn to," said an executive, without a hint of shame or irony. "Her personal life has been playing out in the media for years, but this will be the first time she'll be opening up her home to reveal her real life for the cameras."

Real life for the cameras? That seems as oxymoronic as plastic silverware, lucid Lindsay Lohan, humble Jon Gosselin or gentle Chris Brown.

Unwanted photographers get the finger from Kirstie Alley. Reality TV cameras that only film scripted segments of her life get full approval, however. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsonline.com]

Sources say Alley will launch a weight loss program as the cameras roll; while the aforementioned article notes she'll be:

"Producing a feature film, patenting multiple inventions, working hard to raise two normal Hollywood teenagers, taking care of eight ringtail lemurs and, on top of everything, looking for love."

Wait... she's looking for love? We have two words for Kirstie: Jake Pavelka.

Former Jenny Craig spokeswoman Kirstie Alley may want to get back on that horse. The actress recently put on, oh 10-20 pounds ... give or take 60-70.

When the star - who won an Emmy Award during her seven-year stint on Cheers, but is perhaps better known for her extreme weight gains and losses that followed - stepped on a scale for the first time in 15 months, it wasn't pretty.

"I started screaming," Alley tells People in its new cover story. "It said 228, which is my highest weight ever. I was much more disgusting than I thought!"

But looking back, Kirstie Alley, 58, is hardly shocked.

During her three-year stint as the face (and body) of Jenny Craig, she trimmed down to an impressive 145 lbs. after losing, and keeping off, 75 lbs.

But since parting ways with the company she was so closely tied to in 2007, she had not worked out and banished her gym equipment to the garage.

Obviously.

This celebrity's diet or small, low-calorie portions gave way to Chinese takeout and pasta drenched with butter. "I fell off the horse," she says.

Today, Alley says she is primed to hire a trainer, toss the butter and sign up for a triathlon in order to whittle her "schlumpy" figure back down.

"I'm going to have to work harder than last time," says Allie after candidly admitting she went all Jessica Simpson on us, "but I'm way excited."