Kim Zolciak
Gossip

Signs a celebrity is about to pose in Playboy:

1. She admits to considering it.
2. She's had plastic surgery.
3. She lacks the talent and/or notoriety to remain in the spotlight for an extended period of time without a spread in the magazine.

In other words: prepare for Kim Zolciak nude photos, folks!

The Real Housewife opens up about a number of topics in the latest issue of In Touch Weekly, all of which lead us to believe that a Playboy pictorial isn't far behind. A few excerpts:

On plastic surgery: "I just don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Some cosmetic enhancement is obvious... I do Botox. I’ve had my boobs done twice. I started getting Botox when I was 25 for migraines. I recommend that to anybody. And VelaShape. I don’t know if it shrinks you, but it keeps you tone and taut."

On posing naked: "I'd have to talk to my children, because when you're a mom, it's not just you anymore. I think Playboy is very classy and sexy, but there's a time and place for it. Kim Kardashian did it very tastefully."

On her image: "I'm not stupid, I'm not a homewrecker or a gold digger. But I don't even care. I'm past that. I may not make all the right decisions, but I'm happy."

That's great and all. But we still can't get over the shocking revelating that the knockers pictured above are fake. This may take us awhile.

It sounds like gay rights isn't the only thing Kim Zolciak will get naked for.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta star will also take off her clothes for tips; or at least she used to, according to a few sources.

In 2003, insiders told Fox News Kim spent about three months "making a lot of money" as a stripper at Atlanta’s top gentleman’s establishment, The Cheetah Club. She danced under the stage name "Barbi."

"She didn’t do it for long, but was very popular among the crowd," said a source.

A rep for Zolciak said his client did work at the strip joint, but only "as a cocktail waitress." Kim claims she knows the leak of this false story and is denying it:

"I've never stripped," she said. "[My former rep] is a loose cannon spreading lies. I am not affiliated with him whatsoever."

Ironically, Kim's co-star/former friend/current enemy NeNe Leakes also has a stripping past. But it's one of which she's proud. NeNe has admitted she danced for money in order to earn money for her and her children.

We shudder to ask, but: Which of these women would you rather see naked?

That's it. Kim Zolciak won't stand any longer for the denial of equal gay rights!

Actually, she will stand - but she'll do so topless with tape covering her nipples dammit! That will show the close-minded bigots that protest Adam Lambert concerts.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta star has joined the NOH8 Campaign, a movement that asks celebrities to speak out against the Prop 8 initiative in California, which banned gay marriage.

Other stars that have signed up for this campaign include Michael Emerson, Shanna Moakler, Kathy Griffin, Meghan McCain and many more. Zolciak is one of the few to take her shirt off for the cause, but at least her head - and boobs - are in the right place.

Let's give Kim credit, too: at least she's half naked for an admirable cause.

In her past life, rival NeNe Leakes got half naked for nothing but dollar bills and lap dances.