Khloe Kardashian
Gossip

Kourtney Kardashian is scheduled to give birth next month.

But don't worry, readers: her sister may get knocked up and take over the family's tradition of milking every possible second of pregnancy for money and attention.

Appearing with Chelsea Handler on E!'s Chelsea Lately, Lamar Odom said he was anxious to drop his seed inside his wife like a basketball through a hoop.

Asked when the couple wanted to have kids, Lamar replied: "Soon." When the host followed up by asking if they really wanted to have children right away, Odom again chimed in:

"I do!"

Incredibly, Odom didn't need to read this line of a cue card this time, as he likely did during his contrived wedding to Khloe.

Because little, talentless, attention-starved kids running around isn't a scary enough thought, Khloe said she and her husband are considering a reality show.

"Ryan [Seacrest] has been talking to us about it. I mean, right now, we have so much going on, but we don't know. We've got to get through the holidays, and then we'll discuss it again after that."

What does Khloe Kardashian possibly have going on?!?! Sigh. Watch the full interview after the jump.

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This is truly shocking.

Please, take a moment and make sure you're sitting down. Ready? Okay...

Rashad McCants says Keeping Up with the Kardashians scripts its episodes and storylines, citing one example in particular:

Earlier this year, the E! "reality" show depicted a scene in which Kim Kardashian supposedly hacked into the voicemail of McCants (Khloe's alleged boyfriend at the time) and the sisters listened to shady messages apparently left for him by another woman.

We questioned the validity of this sequence, which you can watch right now, at the time. And for good reason, McCants has confirmed.

Rashad McCants is crying foul on Khloe Kardashian and her family's fake drama.

He told The New York Post this week that the series "made the whole thing up" and Khloe didn't have his phone number at the time. Why not? Because the couple had broken up in January, weeks prior to this scene's taping.

A scripted reality show? What bombshell will drop next? Is Carrie Prejean not actually a dedicated Christian?!?

McCants is a NBA free agent in need of a team. He can probably cross the Lakers off his list of potential suitors, as Khloe's new husband, Lamar Odom, starts at power forward for L.A.

With the naked eye, it appears as though Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian dressed as Batman and Catwoman for Halloween.

But anyone familiar with them can safely assume they'd never don such lame costumes.

Because those comic book characters have been done so many times (and because Odom scarcely made an effort to be the Caped Crusader), it's clear that Lamar and Khloe arrived at a party as something else entirely, something entirely opposite from what they actually are:

A couple that doesn't want attention.

You've gotta hand it to Kardodom for the effort. The pair almost seems to be shunning the spotlight with such a weak effort, but we know better.

Below, contrast Odom and Kardashian with another dressed-up couple: Melissa Rycroft and Tye Strickland.

Which couple looked cuter?

Considering the Lakers' best player is a self-centered, adulterous, accused rapist, we didn't think we could hate the team any more than we already do.

Then, Khloe Kardashian married Lamar Odom.

Now, we'll be stuck with this attention-starved socialite's presence at every Los Angeles home game, as illustrated last night when Khloe and Kim Kardashian sat courtside, pretended to cheer Odom on and checked themselves out on the arena's jumbotron.

Said Khloe at the game: "It's an honor to be here watching... I'm so happy to be able to experience this great accomplishment with Lamar. I'm so proud of my husband."

Meanwhile, fans of contrived weddings and scripted reality shows would be proud of the Kardashians as a whole.

The Khloe/Lamar wedding special will air on E! on November 8 and we've posted the hilarious, infuriating preview for it after this article's jump.

Check it out now for the fakest tears and most well-rehearsed arguments of the fall TV season.

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How could we ever have doubted the love between Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom?!?

The couple may only have known each other for a few weeks prior to marriage, but to prove their love for each other and/or remember one another's name in the morning, each has gotten a tattoo of the other's initials.

Take a look for yourself:

We'll let Khloe contradict herself with the reasons why:

"I think the best tattoo experiences are the spontaneous ones, because that way you are not only left with the tattoo, but an amazing memory to go along with it," she blogged, adding:

"I'm definitely a believer in tattoos as long as they are thoughtful and have significant meaning, which all of mine do... Tattoos are something you'll have for the rest of your life so it's important to get one that truly means something to you."

So, to recap: Khloe believes tattoos should be both spontaneous and possess special meaning.

We've heard she feels the same way about fake marriages and pre-nuptial agreements.

While Kourtney Kardashian continues to make headlines for having unprotected sex with her shady boyfriend, her sisters are causing quite a stir for announcing their plans to eventually pro-create, as well.

Kim Kardashian, for example, covers the latest issue of Life & Style merely because she expressed her desire to eventually have a family.

Now, Lamar Odom has stopped the presses by announcing his plans to have kids with wife Khloe Kardashian... someday. He told Us Weekly last night:

"That's what kings and queens are put on the earth for, to have offspring."

Makes perfect sense to us. Especially considering how positively happy this couple - sorry, Lamar, we mean these members of royalty - looks together:

Adding that he feels "blessed" to have married Kardashian, Odom said:

"My wife is a beautiful person and she looks alright, too! She looks beautiful. I'm lucky!"

Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian got married last month, in a beautiful ceremony that wasn't at all paid for by E! and staged for a reality show.

Making the event even more romantic was the rumor that it wasn't legally binding because the two sides were still hashing out the details of a pre-nuptial agreement.

Now, however, the totally smitten couple can sign on the dotted line of a marriage contract: TMZ reports a pre-nup has been worked out.

The site states the couple has orally (hehe, orally!) agreed to a deal. Odom's new $33 million contract is off the table, as he'll be able to claim all his assets as his own.

But the Lakers star will fund a joint account for the pair, and will provide Khloe with a static annual sum throughout the marriage; yes, this is essentially an allowance for his wife.

Odom will also purchase a house for the couple. The desperate pleas for attention and contrived photo ops for the pair? Khloe is in charge of those.

Pay close attention, aspiring socialites: Khloe Kardashian is teaching a class on how to become rich and famous by not doing anything at all.

First, get married to someone else famous, even if you've only known him for a month.

Second, have the marriage filmed for your upcoming reality show.

Third, sell the wedding pics to a tabloid.

Fourth, draw attention to a celebrity gossip report, refute it and create new headlines by... doing nothing at all. Which was the initial goal, as outlined above.

Khloe practiced the art of the last point earlier today: apparently, Star magazine published a story that said her and Lamar Odom had split because he refused to give her a massage. Was anyone aware of this before Khloe pointed it out?

Would anyone take it seriously? Of course not.

But Khloe took to her blog today and shot down the report, thereby milking attention for it. She wrote:

"I seriously died when I read that! LOL. Star is known for doing evil, fake and RIDICULOUS stories about my family... [it is] becoming the Enquirer. Next thing you know they'll be saying that Kourtney is giving birth to a cat! LOL. All of their stories are absurd, but at least we get a good laugh from their lies."

Would anyone out there be surprised if Khloe's people planted this story, just to give her the platform to deny it? Neither would we.

It's a style showdown featuring a gorgeous young actress and one of those krazy Kardashians who appears on the cover of every magazine for whatever reason.

Who's your money on?

Gossip Girl star Blake Lively got into character as Serena van der Woodsen in her Alexander Wang dress recently. As always, she makes it work. Salivatingly.

Meanwhile, newlywed Khloe Kardashian hit a party in L.A. in the very same draped purple mini. Who wore it better? Vote in the survey below and tell us ...

Who wore this dress better?

Khloe Kardashian has found a way to keep her recent, ridiculous wedding in the news.

A few days after she walked down the aisle with Lamar Odom, Khloe paid a few people to insult her was faced with criticism about her Vera Wang gown-covered body. Said Janice Dickinson, someone even more desperate for attention than Kardashian:

"There's no way she would become a fashion icon. Khloé looks like a heifer."

Added Spencer Pratt, hilariously: "Khloé still needs to work out more. I recommend she go to theheidimontagworkout.com so she can get fantastic curves like my wife's."

Browse through these Khloe Kardashian wedding photos and you tell us: is she overweight? Do you care one bit either way?

In response to these comments, Khloe told Life & Style that she's dropped from a size 10 to a size 6 and:

"Everyone criticizes me about my weight all the time. It's easy for me to be like some other girls in Hollywood - not eat and become anorexic - but thank goodness I am strong-willed and secure with myself... This is my body and I love it."

Kim Kardashian also supports her sister, saying last week:

"Khloé's in the best shape of her life, and millions of people would kill to look like her."

Damn right, Kim! Oh... wait. We thought you said millions of people would kill to never hear from your family again. Nevermind.