Kathy Wakile

The Real Housewives of New Jersey had a field day last night. 

No, really. They called it Field Day when the whole gang got together to have some fun. So who can't get through the day without a meltdown? 

We'll break it all down for you in THG's +/- review.

Teresa Giudice heads home after Kathy's party and tells Joe all about the argument with her brother. Well, that's a mistake. Wasn't she just telling her brother that he shouldn't share their conversations with his wife?

Minus 10. She should really take her own advice.

Joe Guidice reaction has become so typical of him I'm no longer surprised. He tells his wife, "You're a f**kin' idiot for even talking to your f**kin' brother." 

Nice. Minus 12.

But it actually gets worse. After cursing out his brother-in-law he tells Teresa the Gorgas aren't allowed in his home. When Teresa says that will upset her parents Guidice says he'll kick them out too. 

He ends his tirade by telling her, "When I say something, you f**kin' listen and shut up," and if she doesn't he threatens to leave her and the kids.

What a guy. Minus 20.

Here comes the drama.

Hanging out by the pool. Doesn't that sound relaxing? Yes, unless you're on The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Then it's pretty much the exact opposite.

Then you'll probably need a stiff drink to get through an afternoon in the sun.

We recap all the fussing, feuding, and name calling in our THG's +/- recap!

How can you not love Caroline's mock phone call between Teresa and Joe? It was hilarious. Plus 10. 

And why does Caroline think Teresa hates Melissa. Because "she's a better, younger version" of Teresa. Plus 8. That sounds about right.

But as everyone else is discussing Teresa's behavior, Teresa is telling her husband her version of the Solstice party and Joe has some definite opinions.

First, Melissa is a horse-face, gold digging tramp. Caroline is boring. Rosie's a butchy boy, and the idiot cousin (I can only assume he means Kathy ... no offense to Kathy) looks like a frog. 

Joe Guidice certainly has an opinion about everyone but the scariest is the one he holds about himself. He tells Teresa he's the powerhouse and she doesn't need anyone else. Minus 12. What happens when they haul his sorry butt off to jail again?

Oh, and Teresa says her brother is a little pansy for telling his wife about their conversation. How can you not love family?

The Real Housewives of New Jersey celebrated the Summer Solstice by trying to open up their third eye chakra on last night's episode. Yeah, we don't know what that means either but we break it all down here in THG's +/- recap!

Teresa is excellent ... at placing blame. On taking responsibility, not so much.

First off she's still upset about her husband's black eye which of course is all Richie's fault. Minus 12. I'm sure poor Joe was just an innocent bystander in that scuffle.

Who is she kidding? But in usual Teresa fashion she can't let it go. She even tells Rich he could have poked his eye out. 

Joe's a big boy. I'm sure he can fight his own battles.

Of course it's hard to tell who has the brains in the Guidice family. We know Joe's had at least one DWI, then was caught driving with a suspended license, and finally took someone else's ID to try and get a new license. Minus 15.

Somehow the guy can always find a way to make a bad situation worse.

Teresa cries about what's being said in magazine articles about her and her family but even Jacqueline realizes that Teresa's making her own problems there so Plus 8. She agreed to do the interview and I'm sure she got paid handsomely for it. Now she's crying?

While everyone's down the shore their problems simmer under the surface. The kids look like the only ones having fun but they're also allowed to run wild.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey made their way back from the shore this week to play a little poker and kick one little Jersey girl out of the her luxurious nest.

We break down all the drama in our patented THG +/- recap below!

Say bye bye. That was Jacqueline's response as Ashlee whined about packing to leave for Vegas. Plus 10 because it was so pathetic it was funny.

They sent her off with Albie to avoid a family meltdown at the airport hoping that she'd get on the plane without incident. It sounds good…in theory.

Minus 7 because Albie couldn't be bothered to park the car and walk his wayward cousin to the security checkpoint. Instead he drops her at the curb and there's no doubt she'll be home by dark.

Sure enough, Albie gets the call as he's driving home. Somehow Ashlee missed her flight. Minus 12. This girl is pathetic. I know it's because she doesn't want to go but it is sad when a 20-year-old can't check herself in at an airport. 

Chris is right, his step-daughter has no common sense. Her answer to stress is wishing she could buy herself a drink. Ashlee may be headed down a hard road all of her own making. 

This time Chris drives her to the airport to make sure it's done right. Plus 10. At home Jacqueline looks at pictures of her little girl and cries. I understand she's upset but it's not like some awful tragedy has befallen her daughter. Ashlee's a spoiled brat and when people stop handing her stuff maybe she'll grow up.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey are back and the feuding continues, but this time they're leaving their McMansions and taking it down to the Jersey shore.

Let's assess all the cussing, name calling, and backstabbing in THG +/- review!

It looks like no one has talked much since Teresa Guidice's infamous cookbook came out. Between the digs about her being as Italian as the Olive Garden and rehashing her son's brilliant idea for a strip car wash, Caroline Manzo is still pretty ticked off. 

The two women end up meeting at a party at Jacqueline's and Caroline's doing an admirable job of freezing Teresa out but Teresa wants to talk. She says she wants to clear the air. Minus 10 because why wait for a family party to do that?

Why not just pick up the phone or go on over to Caroline's? I suppose the show wouldn't be fun if any of it made sense.

So Teresa apologizes…sort of.

"I think you misread it because if you really read it good you'd realize I didn't insult you." Really?  hat's your idea of an apology? Telling someone you didn't read it good? Minus 15 and I'm not even counting the grammar issues.

Teresa just keeps repeating that it was all a joke but Teresa's the only one who finds it funny.

And apparently this is not a good time to be messing with Caroline. She's going though menopause and isn't thrilled when her doctor tells her she's getting old. Plus 8 because even she admits she may go super bitch on someone who crosses her right now.

There are evil people out there – and sometimes they come in the shape of your friends. - Teresa Giudice 

Run away, coward. Like you always do! - Melissa Gorga

When you associate with scum, you become scum. - Kathy Wakile

The Real Housewives of New Jersey kicks off season four on April 22 and, you won't believe this, but major drama is on the way, as evidenced by the aforementioned quotes, all of which are included in the following trailer. Intrigued? We thought you might be.

Prepare for scripted insanity and get an idea of what's on the way to Bravo now:

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 4 Preview

It's part two of The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion show and the finger pointing continues, literally, as we rehash the season's ups and downs.

Let's break it all down in THG's +/- recap!

Andy said he's never seen a hornier guy than Joe Gorga. I've got to agree and if he just left it at that, we'd be good, but did he have to make it into a contest? Minus 10 for leading us down the which Joe is hornier road. I really didn't want to think about that.

Everyone's sex lives were paraded out for public scrutiny, not that most of them seemed to care. The high point was Albert's comment while he was sharing a suite with Teresa and Joe in Mexico. "I like to listen to you guys when you're going at it like cats." Plus 5 just for making me laugh. At least somebody got some entertainment out of it.

Plus 10 to Caroline. She said that her sex life with her husband was nobody else's business. It was one of the few sane answers of the night.

But it sounded like Caroline had bigger issues. She and sister Dina haven't spoken in months and Caroline blamed Teresa. Supposedly there were texts and e-mails to back this up. Of course since Dina's no longer on the show we didn't get to see any of that so this discussion got boring fast. Minus 7.

I'd happily hand out bonus points to anyone who could get Teresa to stop screeching. It never happened so Minus 10 for my growing headache.

It was bash Teresa Giudice night at The Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion but she certainly invited the abuse. THG breaks it all down in our + or - review ...

Jacqueline Laurita bowed out of the event. Minus 5. I always thought the players were contractually obligated to show up for these things, even when they all hated one another and looked like fools at the end. But it looked like Bravo let her slide.

The turmoil had something to do with Teresa and an event that took place in season four which was currently being filmed. I suppose that's more reason to tune in next season.

Caroline earned a Plus 12 when she admitted she was mean to Melissa and Kathy Waklie at the start of the season. She had judged them on what Teresa had told her before ever having met them. That was unfair but at least she owned up to it.

Teresa still swore what she wrote in her cookbook was nothing but a joke. She won't say which of her three sister in laws she was insulting and sees nothing wrong with throwing out barbs about Caroline's son. Minus 8. There was nothing funny in what she wrote and she can't see anyone's opinion but her own.

We had to sit through yet one more showing of the christening debacle. Minus 5. I hope to never have to watch that nonsense again. At least the housewives had the decency to lapse into stunned silence after it was shown.

It's been a long season for our Real New Jersey Housewives and our season finale is finally here. THG breaks it all down in our + or - review ...

It's family photo time as the Gorgas and the Guidices decide to do a group family portrait with the Gorga's parents. It's a lovely idea and starts us off with a Plus 10. 

I know the man isn't well but does Poppa Gorga always have to come off as such an old grump. Minus 5. Not much seems to make this man smile.

Joe tries to make his father feel better by offering him a drink and you've got to love little Gia. "No, no. Drinks don't make him feel better." Plus 7 to the little girl for speaking up.

The kids are adorable. Melissa and her family show up in a sea of leopard print coats. Joe Gorga says he'd love another little girl. He'd name her Jovina, after himself. (Insert eye roll here.) Plus 5 because despite the huge ego, it's almost kind of cute.

In other news, Ashley gets a reprieve. Chris relents and says he can't kick her out. His brother, Jamie comes to visit Ashley and says he loves her but she's lazy.

And I had to laugh at his advice about not telling guys about her Swallow tattoo. Plus 8. So funny. Plus I don't think Chris could have looked more uncomfortable if he tried.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey continued their Punta Cana vacation this week and THG breaks down their ridiculous adventure in our +/- recap!

Teresa does yet another wardrobe change donning a gold cut out bathing suit resembling a superhero. This entire trip is Teresa's own private fashion show and that might be mildly entertaining if Teresa and Kathy could shut up about their fight. Minus 8 because I'm just as tired of hearing about it as Caroline.

Despite that the rest of the crew seem to be getting along quite well. Plus 7. The two Joes try to decide which of them is shorter. When their height appears about even they attempt to up the stakes by whipping it out and seeing who is really the bigger man. Everyone gushes that it's just like the good ole days. Plus 10 for the drunken group hug.

Why can't Joe Gorga keep his pants on?  First he's flashing the Manzo boys when they show up to go golfing. Then he's mooning them on the golf course. Plus 5 for the technology that allows the show to block out the graphic details. No one needs to see that.

Plus 10 to Albert. He's the only real golfer in the bunch and he'll take it as a personal favor if none of these idiots ever sets foot on a golf course again.

Teresa decides her next project will be an Italian / Latin fusion cookbook and she drags the ladies along to a local market. They're all shocked to find that they have to see actual animals at the market, not just pieces of meet under plastic wrap. Minus 3.

Of course the cow heads weren't nearly as disturbing as the fact that Teresa didn't know the difference between semolina and salmonella. Minus 8. I don't think I want Teresa Giudice cooking my food.