by Hilton Hater at

Hugh Hefner can't tell them apart. Will Playboy readers be able to?

Indeed, Karissa and Kristina Shannon are featured in the latest issue of the men's magazine. No shock there.

Somehow, though, the twins are clothed in the two photos that have been released.

  • Karissa and Kristina Shannon, Playboy
  • The Shannon Twins, Playboy Pic

Don't worry, fellas: we know where you can see Karissa and Kristina Shannon nude!

In the new issue, Karissa and Kristina sport matching sailor hats and jean shorts, continuing their tradition of dressing alike and doing everything together.

Including Hef, of course.

“We feel as if we’re one. In each other we always have a best friend,” the twins said, failing to mention that in one another, they also have an old, wrinkled penis.

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by Free Britney at

"All girls have pretty mouths. Especially in the dark."
- Unknown philosopher

Hugh Hefner may want to take these wise words to heart.

Kendra Dancing

His genuine romantic feelings for 19-year-old twin girlfriends Karissa and Kristina Shannon cannot be understated, even if the octogenarian can’t tell them apart.

“I have one little trick, one little mark,” Hefner confessed.

“But other than that, I don’t know.”

What about the long, soul-searching conversations that are the hallmark of love? Wait, you mean the Shannon Twins are only interested in sex and/or money?

We can't even believe what we're writing.

Who's who - and does it matter when they double-up on you?

Moving on to a happier, but also strange topic, Hugh Hefner also hopes Kendra Wilkinson’s unborn child will one day end up a Playboy model at the mansion.

“I’m sure the baby will end up at the mansion. We have a lot of friends, second generation Playmates," he said. "There are a lot of kids around these days.”

We'll have to ask Hank Baskett how he feels about this when his daughter turns 18. If they even have a daughter. Or Hef is around to mark the occasion.

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by Hilton Hater at

Considering the constant parade of beautiful women in his bedroom, Hugh Hefner is not one to dwell on the past.

That's why he's confused about a report this week that claimed he wanted Holly Madison to move back into the Playboy Mansion (either that, or Hef is suffering from dementia; the guy is really, really old).

"I have no idea where these crazy stories come from," Hefner said in a statement. "The idea that I'm pining over former girlfriend Holly Madison and would 'welcome her back with open arms' is pure fiction. It was invented by someone to create publicity."

Hef said he doesn't think of Madison in that way anymore. After all, the guy is totally smitten with one to three women.

"I'm in love with Crystal Harris (pictured) and wouldn't trade her or the Shannon Twins for anyone in the past," he said. "Holly will always be welcome here at the mansion, but not as a girlfriend. I think she's happy now, and I know I am."

No offense to Holly, but Hef appears to have made the right decision. Harris is the hottest girlfriend he's had yet. We present the following photos of her as evidence:

  • Crystal Harris Photo
  • Crystal Harris Pic
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by Hilton Hater at

This just in: it's good to be Hugh Hefner.

The Playboy founder and chick magnet turned 83 last week - and he didn't exactly celebrate by himself.

Hefner and his most recent string of beautiful blondes gathered at the Palms Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.

Indeed, all of Hef's former and current girlfriends turned out for the party: Karissa and Kristina Shannon, Bridget Marquardt, Holly Madison, Kendra Wilkinson and Crystal Harris. Man, to be a fly on Hef's bedroom wall on this night...

Girls Next Door Pic

Click on the pics above for larger images of Hugh Hefner and his lovely ladies.

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by Hilton Hater at

Men around the nation weren't the only ones celebrating Aubrey O'Day nude photos in this month's Playboy.

The magazine threw a party in honor of its most recent cover girl last night, as Hugh Hefner, Paris Hilton and Karissa and Kristina Shannon (donning matching Barack Obama t-shirts) got down, dirty and awkward together.

Here's a look:

  • Look at Me Nude!
  • Paris and a Twin

Click on the following photos for more, larger images of Hef and his gals grinding with one another...

  • Aubrey and Hef
  • Oh, Oh, Bama!
  • Paris at Playboy Party
  • Aubrey O'Day and Hugh Hefner
  • Old Man Grinding
  • Paris and Aubrey

[Photos Credit: Splash News]

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by Hilton Hater at

Santonio Holmes' game-winning, tip-toeing reception to win Super Bowl XLIII for the Pittsburgh Steelers is no longer the most scintillating still image from the weekend.

That honor instead falls to Karissa and Kristina Shannon.

The busty blonde girlfriends of Hugh Hefner showed up at a Playboy-sponsored party wearing nothing over their breasts but body paint, with the number "69" drawn over their large boobs.

No, this figure didn't represent the over/under for the game. Not for any game played outside the bedroom, at least.

69!
  • Hiking Hotties
  • Karissa and Kristina Photo

Click on the photos above for even larger pics of the Shannon Twins.

[Photo Credits: Splash News]

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by Hilton Hater at

Don't cry for Hugh Hefner.

Granted, the Playboy founder has ended his relationships with Holly Madison, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt. But he told E! Online that a new set of girlfriends moved in to his mansion about two weeks after he became a single man.

In an interview with the entertainment network, Hefner was joined by those new gal pals - Karissa and Kristina Shannon - as well by the third blonde recently added to his busty brood: Crystal Harris.

Here are a few naughty nuggets from the conversation:

Hef's relationship philosophy: "The best solution to lost love is new love."

Crystal Harris, comparing herself to The Shannon Twins: "I'm much more reserved than the twins. They are much more outgoing, and I'm the type of person who likes to stay close to home. Hef has the best of both worlds with us."

Hef on Kendra's fiance, Hank Baskett:  "[He's a] cool guy."

Hef on not marry Holly, due to his previously failed marriages: "Those are not the happiest times of my life and I just don't want to screw up another. [Holly]... will make a good wife to Criss [Angel] or whoever she winds up with."

Hef on adding a new sex buddy
: We don't have anyone in particular, but it's always possible. There was one point when I had seven girlfriends."

Heck, when your sex mates look like this, why wouldn't you add as many as possible?!?

Click on the following photos for a Hugh Hefner girlfriend retrospective; from Holly, Kendra and Bridget to Karissa, Kristina and Crystal...

  • Holly Madison Pic
  • Bridget Marquardt Nude
  • Karissa and Kristina Shannon Nude
  • Crystal Harris Nude
  • Crystal Harris Picture
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by Hilton Hater at

If you're the 82-year old owner of the world's most famous men's magazine, you needn't choose between busty young blondes.

You can go to bed with Crystal Harris, Karissa Shannon and Kristina Shannon every night of the week. And we have little doubt that Hugh Hefner does just that.

But if you're a reader of the country's most buzzed about celebrity gossip site, sorry, we're making you take sides in this battle between Playboy bunnies...

  • Crystal Harris Naked
  • Karissa and Kristina Shannon

With which of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends would you rather go to bed?

 

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by Free Britney at

Hey, that's just how life goes at the Playboy Mansion. Don't hate the players... or the game, for that matter. Just sit back and enjoy the show.

Why should half-nude pictures and possibly making love to a man four times your age take a break just because it's December 25? Exactly.

The Shannon Twins Picture

Below is Hugh Hefner's annual holiday card. This year's features his new, law-breaking girlfriends: sexy twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon.

Behold, The Shannon Twins nude except for body paint ...

HOLIDAY FUN: Between the Shannon Twins, Dasha Astafieva and whomever else he has waiting in the wings, Hugh Hefner has plenty of toys to play with this Christmas.

Hefner hooked up with the teenage twins after splitting with Girls Next Door stars Holly Madison (now with Criss Angel), Kendra Wilkinson (now engaged to Hank Baskett) and Bridget Marquardt (now MIA, but probably still half-naked).

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by Hilton Hater at

As 2008 winds down, it's time to reflect upon those - from household names to relative unknowns, from A- to D-list - who made this year so memorable.

The Hollywood Gossip is unveiling 10 finalists for its 2nd Annual Celebrity of the Year award. They've given us their best, their worst, even their nude pictures in some cases. Now it is time for us to give something back with this moving tribute.

We previously profiled those silly moose-hunting child bearers from Alaska, The Palin Family. Today, we present Celebrity of the Year finalist #8 … The Many Girls Next Door!

When 2008 began, the girlfriends of Hugh Hefner could be counted on one hand: there was Holly Madison, the Playboy founder's number-one piece of tail; Kendra Wilkinson, the woman with the most annoying laugh on television; and Bridget Marquardt, the other one.

Soon enough, however, the exploits of these models became too much for a single reality show to handle.

Holly remained in the news by posing naked a lot and then having the awful taste to date Criss Angel; Kendra got engaged to NFL player Hank Baskett, and Bridget continued to exist.

  • Holly Madison Photograph
  • Bridget Marquardt Nude

Once these ladies established lives outside of the Playboy Mansion, they had to be replaced. Enter Karissa and Kristina Shannon, along with a series of arrests, obnoxious attitudes and, of course, very little clothing.

With 2008 coming to an end, a new Girl Next Door has even popped up: Dasha Astafieva will grace the cover of Playboy's 55th anniversary issue. Rumors have already circulated that she slept with Hefner while he was dating Holly, Kendra and Bridget.

As you click on the photos above and below of Hefner's girls from 2008, remember: the guy is 82 years old. Can you top his exploits in 2009?

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