Jessica Simpson
Gossip (Page 12)

Apparently still trying to sing, Jessica Simpson made her country debut at the musical festival and, well, according to the The Kenosha News ...

"She's an embarrassment to country music," said one member of the audience, who was apparently surprised. "It's crap. She doesn't belong here."

Or anywhere near a microphone or TV camera ever again. Still photos are still okay, though, because then you can focus your attention here.

Luckily for Jessica, she had her two remaining fans on hand.

That's right, her bitches Tony Romo and Daisy.

Both of whom have no playoff wins. Just saying.

Jessica Simpson's an embarrassment to music, but her (two) fans love her.

In the following showdown of Simpson sisters, we aren't asking readers which dim-witted sister they prefer. Instead, we wanna know:

Which Simpson sucks the least?

One is milking as much publicity from her pregnancy as possible, while the other has been riding the wave of her giant boobs for years now.

Below, Ashlee Simpson and Jessica Simpson each stick out the body part that best represents their moronic, soulless father. Let us know whose ass is less vomit-inducing...

All booty, no brains: Select your least sucky Simpson sister.

A dressed-terribly down Jessica Simpson (showing her support for boyfriend / playoff choke artist Tony Romo and his Dallas Cowboys) totes around her dog Daisy and some chick during a trip to Ralph's supermarket in Los Angeles Monday.

Which is good news. We're glad Jessica actually eats from time to time.

Our primary reason for this post - fashion. What the heck is she wearing?!

We know she has no real career options left, but Jessica Simpson has really let herself go. Baggy sweatshirts? Trucker hats? Uggh.

Where the heck are the giant breasts? At this point, what else has she got left? Get with the frickin' program, Jessica!

The slow career decline of Jessica Simpson continues unabated.

New photos of Jessica Simpson lying down on a bed of silk satin sheets have surfaced, presumably for Tony Romo her new Fancy perfume.

That's right, she has a perfume line. And a lingerie line. What to do when your career tanks? Throw your name on every product possible!

Jessica has said of her fragrance:

“With Fancy, I wanted to create a pretty fragrance, one I could be just as comfortable wearing on the red carpet or every day with my favorite jeans. For me Fancy is just that – fancy. This is a special fragrance –personal, whimsical, playful and romantic with a heart of gardenia, an essence I truly cherish.”

A hundred bucks says Jessica Simpson never heard the word "gardenia" until her publicist wrote this statement - and still doesn't know what it means.

The pregnant Ashlee Simpson helped sister Jessica Simpson celebrate her 28th birthday with a night out in Calabasas, California, this week.

Chances are Ashlee's hubby Pete Wentz and Jessica's choke artist beau Tony Romo were also on hand to party hard, but we really don't care.

Here's a cute photo of Joe Simpson's cash cows ...

Despite possessing less singing talent combined than Taylor Swift's pinky finger, the Simpson girls remain relevant. Why? Breasts go a long way.

Alleged singer and actress Jessica Simpson, who was kind of a big star back in like 2002, turns 28 years old today. Congratulations, Jess!

Jess may have no platinum records in the past five years, and no acting roles that border even on mediocre, but at least she's got that rack, as well as boyfriend Tony Romo and sister Ashlee to keep her in the news. Woo!

In honor of her special day, here's a photo gallery of Jessica. Click to enlarge, and visit our full gallery of Jessica Simpson pictures for more.

When does your favorite star celebrate another year of not visiting the great gig in the sky? Check our celebrity birthdays calendar and see!

Oh, who are we kidding. No one cares about Jessica Simpson's fashion choices! The title of this post was just an excuse to talk about her body, as showcased the other night during her b-day celebration with boyfriend Tony Romo.

This photo sums up Jessica Simpson so perfectly, illustrating the top two reasons for her fame better than a thousand words ever could...

Whilst entering a club, Jessica Simpson turns her head away, making sure the celebrity gossip photographers' lenses are focused right where she wants 'em.

We would say this is the second-best Jessica Simpson picture ever. Why not the best, you ask? Because this is the best Jessica Simpson photo ever.

Despite her dwindling relevance, Jessica Simpson isn't avoiding her 28th birthday on Thursday - she's already started celebrating.

The "singer" and "actress" joined by close friends and family - indulged in her favorite cupcake flavor, red velvet, from Crumbs bakery.

For dinner, Jessica and Tony Romo went to Sagebrush Cantina in Calabasas, Calif., where they met up with Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz.

At one point, Ashlee and Jessica got on stage to "sing" with The Copycats, a cover band. The band serenaded Jessica for some reason.

Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson sort of broke up, but are now going strong!

Following dinner, Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo hit Key Club in West Hollywood to see Steel Panther (the artists formerly known as Metal Skool).

The Dallas Cowboys quarterback even tried his hand at singing the Guns n' Roses hit "Sweet Child O' Mine" to Jessica and the crowd. Woo.

She hasn't had a platinum album since 2003.

Her movies are some of the worst in film history.

Boyfriend Tony Romo has no playoff wins, still pines for Carrie Underwood instead of her (who wouldn't), and Pamela Anderson hates on her too.

Not unlike Britney Spears' pants before a night of clubbing, Jessica Simpson's career is long gone. The kiss of death as she tries to remain relevant? The youngest generation - like the little guy below - is already dissing and dismissing her ...

Where do you go when Pamela Anderson hates on you?

The Olive Garden, naturally, with your boyfriend's parents.

Okay, so it had nothing to do with Anderson's harsh words. But Jessica Simpson did meet Tony Romo's folks there on June 27, in his native Wisconsin.

Not surprisingly, the celebrities' making a reservation at the far-from-fancy Olive Garden surprised even the restaurant's general manager.

"We thought it was a big joke," said Doug Belfanz. "Jessica Simpson's not going to the Olive Garden in Janesville, Wisconsin!"

She did, though. Wearing a casual blouse and blue jeans, Jessica Simpson walked in holding hands with Tony Romo, who wore a T-shirt and hat.

After dinner, they posed for a photo with the staff and signed autographs. Sneaking out through the kitchen, Simpson complimented the chefs.

"They were laughing," Belfanz told People. "It was just a big family night out."

One that may put to rest rumors of a Tony Romo-Carrie Underwood reunion.