Jessica Simpson
Gossip (Page 11)

Hillary Clinton would be proud. The proverbial glass ceiling the former First Lady sought to break is about to receive another crack, courtesy of Jessica Simpson.

In fact, the whole thing may be shattered altogether as a result of her screeeching. We're talking nails-on-a-chalkboard meets noises-only-dogs-can-hear.

The alleged country singer plans to perform songs from her new record Do You Know (it hit #1 on the country chart, which says as much about the genre as it does Jessica Simpson) at the Nina's Night Out concert in Las Vegas Thursday night.

The benefit concert, which will be held to raise money for the Rape Crisis Center in Las Vegas, is taking place at The Palms' Pearl Theater.

Even Jessica Simpson winces at the sound of Jessica Simpson.

"This performance will be more serious than most... It's important to make a stand for women's rights. If I can get up there and be any inspiration to women, I am blessed to have that opportunity," Simpson told the Las Vegas Review-Journal.

This sounds like a great cause and everything, but we can't help but chuckle - could women's rights find a poorer example? She got famous for being dumb and has remained famous for having gigantic boobs and wearing a pink Cowboys jersey.

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Aww hell y'all! I think I just shat meself!

Promoting her new country album "Do You Know," Jessica Simpson stopped by The Late Show with David Letterman and talked about jinxing Tony Romo.

While admitting she'll never wear a pink jersey to a game again, Simpson claims the supposed jinx is bull because, well, Tony Romo always performs well.

If you know what she means!

Here's the full interview with Jessica, who seems like a nice enough girl, but far from intelligent. Also, that laugh? Maybe the most annoying in human civilization.

Jessica Simpson's new "career" as a country "singer" got off to a bit of a shaky start after audio malfunctions disrupted a live performance in New York.

The show came to halt due to a technical malfunction, much to the delight of the small children and dogs who can actually hear her awful screeching.

Shouting to the crowd, the blonde one said, "I know this is live TV, but I can't hear anything," before counting the band down and restarting the song.

There were two redeeming aspects to the Jessica Simpson concert, however. Follow the jump to see exactly what we're talking about.

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The definitely exaggerated but sort-of real catfight between Carrie Underwood and Jessica Simpson continues - and keeps getting better!

According to OK!, Carrie’s claws came out following Jessica’s interview in which she gushes over current boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, saying, “I just told him today, ‘You’re the love of my life.’”

While Tony Romo may be pleased with Jessica Simpson and her declarations of love, Carrie Underwood has a different point of view.

“She finds Jessica Simpson's love of putting her life on display pretty desperate,” an alleged pal of the “Before He Cheats” singer relayed to OK!.

"She laughed at the People cover story. It’s exactly the same one Jess did about John Mayer — same smile, same look, except she’s a little fatter.”

Famous Tony Romo girlfriends present and past. Sophia Bush not pictured.

As for Jessica intruding on Carrie's turf with a country CD?

“Carrie doesn’t think fans will spend money to watch Jess warble through a few badly written songs,” says Underwood's friend.

We've asked it before but we'll ask it again (and we think we can guess the obvious results): Team Jessica or Team Carrie?

Happier personally and professionally than she's been in a very long time, Jessica Simpson says her boyfriend Tony Romo is the "perfect guy."

"I just told [Tony Romo] today, 'You're the love of my life,'" the alleged singer and actress confessed. "I don't really ever say that to anybody."

Simpson tells People in its cover story (must be a real slow news week at People) that she co-wrote a song for her man, "You're My Sunday," which is featured on her new country album, Do You Know (out September 9).

In to show that she's, like, OMG, so serious, Jess changed her cell number and e-mail address to cut off any communication from her exes.

She'll probably keep spying on Tony Romo to make sure he's not still talking to Carrie Underwood, of course, but that's neither here nor there.

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Of all the classic and ridiculous Jessica Simpson quotes over the past 10 years, this one - about her boyfriend Tony Romo still calling his ex Carrie Underwood on occasion, which the latter has claimed - may be the best.

"I looked at his call log," she said Wednesday, denying that Romo's been calling Underwood in an interview with a Nashville radio station.

NOTE TO JESSICA: You can actually erase your call log. And doesn't the fact that you feel you have to look at it tell you something?

Of Tony Romo, Carrie Underwood said in September's Allure: "The phone will ring and it'll be him, and I'll maybe not answer."

Jessica Simpson's response:

"Tony and I both laughed at that. We got a chuckle out of it."

What do you think: Is that playoff choke artist Romo still calling Underwood - and whose side are you on, Team Jessica or Team Carrie?

Continuing to throw everything she can against the wall, the increasingly irrelevant Jessica Simpson has landed yet another "job" - selling beer.

The singer, 28, is the new face of Dallas-based Stampede Light Plus.

In addition to appearing in ads, Simpson will also take a 15 percent stake in the brewery. Not a bad gig, except that all of Dallas must hate her.

Tony Romo notwithstanding.

"As an entrepreneur, I am always looking for ways to diversify my portfolio with good ideas and good people," Simpson told the Dallas Morning News.

The brew is touted as being packed with vitamins to support an active lifestyle. Yes, we're serious. It's a vitamin-packed beer.

We give it four months before bankruptcy.

"Yes, I work out and take care of myself, but I also like a cold beer once in a while," Simpson said in a statement she obviously wrote.

Add Stampede Light to the long list of products Simpson is involved with. She has an eponymous shoe line, a bra line, and was just sued for not promoting her clothing lines. Her signature perfume, Smells Like No Talent, Fancy, hit stores August 15.

Bear with us while we explain.

The talentless hack reportedly announced to boyfriend Tony Romo’s parents that she is pregnant - although it appears it was a false positive.

That would be enough for a good story right there, but according to our sources, the Romos didn’t react exactly the way she may have hoped:

“There was a huge fight at the Romo home on July 18,” a source close to the family said. “Jessica and Tony thought that she was pregnant and happily announced it to the family. The news resulted in dead silence."

"Then Tony’s dad, Ramiro, said, ‘You’re not married. this is crazy!’ Tony’s mom Joan joined in, demanding, ‘How can you do this to us?’”

Jessica Simpson: Not pregnant, but "feverishly" trying.

Jessica Simpson said her home pregnancy test showed a positive result and that she was heading for a doctor to find out for her.

A spokesperson for Jessica later said she is not pregnant, but pals close to the alleged singer say it’s not for her lack of trying.

“Her friends know she’s feverishly trying to conceive,” said an insider.

Memo to Tony - she may pull the goalie, a la Rielle Hunter.

Either that or they used an file photo, circa 2001. But most likely it's just airbrushing. Only InTouch or Star would actually try to pass off an older picture (as we saw with their recent, outstanding Britney Spears efforts).

Seriously, the last time Jessica Simpson looked like this, she was married to (and cheating on) Nick Lachey while confusing meat products on reality TV. And what's with the plaid? We get it, she "country" now. Yawn.

If the HUGE text covering most of her body were supposed to distract us, you failed, Elle! A word to the wise: Quit wasting your time on this hack and just give us Marisa Miller or someone like that next time, K? Cool.

Jessica Simpson graces the new cover of Elle. We have no clue why.