by Free Britney at . Comments

Jersey Shore has been in the news a lot lately for reasons having nothing to do with the show, making last night's reunion special feel a bit pointless.

With Snooki pregnant and Mike in rehab, the two top stories among MTV's band of guidos are playing out in real life, not in front of reality TV cameras.

Still, the gang assembled for a postmortem of sorts in the aftermath of the fifth season, which ended last week. And there certainly a lot to discuss.

Jersey Shore Season Five Cast

Highlights from the Jersey Shore reunion special included:

  • Snooki continuing to deny servicing Mike, saying, "If I was that horny, I'd just go to my room and masturbate." Sitch also stood his ground: "I'm not a liar, I'm not. And I'm not gonna be made out to look like one, that's it." 
  • Mike was again dubbed the villain of the house, after which he said he felt emotional and left out. JWoww suggested that he apologize for the shady things he's done, but Mike instead walked off set. Way to go man.
  • JWoww convinced him to com back out, and Mike did apologize. Aww.
  • BFFs Pauly and Vinny reminisced about pranks, stalkers and the like.
  • JWoww is still happy in love with Roger Williams.
  • Snooki is, of course, still with Jionni LaValle.
  • Ronnie Magro and Sammi Giancola are no longer in a relationship because their "schedules became hectic." As for who ended it? Mixed messages.

Just a few months until Jersey Shore season six films!

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Is The Situation from Jersey Shore in rehab?

Conflicting stories began swirling around the web last night and this morning, with TMZ stating that the muscle-bound reality star had indeed sought treatment.

However, his rep tells E! this is not the case.

TMZ, citing sources close to the MTV star, says his hard-partying ways grew worse this season, culminating in the episode in which the gang went camping.

Mike The Situation Pic

GTR: Is Mike's new routine gym, tan, rehab?

According to the unnamed sources, Sitch recently checked into rehab for substance abuse after realizing his recreational habits had spun out of control.

Sources close to Sitch claim that the Jersey Shore mainstay had been showing signs of substance abuse for a while but "was getting a lot worse" of late.

People noticed he was "acting paranoid" on the set, looking jittery, sweating profusely and acting bizarre ... even for a guy who always is a little bizarre.

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Thought Snooki's pregnancy would derail Jersey Shore? Think again!

When Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi confirmed she's expecting a baby, many assumed that the MTV reality series, which just wrapped its fifth season (in just over two years' time), was kaput, officially, or at least destined to lose the Snook.

No. Season 6 is a go, with the full cast in tow. Fist-pump/head-slap!

Snooki Promo Photo

The show will return again to the STD-friendly confines of Seaside Heights, N.J., where the gang will venture into "uncharted territory" this time around.

A press release from MTV, confirming the new season today, reads:

"While things will definitely be a little different this time when they hit the boardwalk, their trademark hilarity and family dysfunction will remain the same."

That's putting it mildly. Say a prayer for the unborn guido/ette.

Incidentally, Snooki's baby, her first with fiance Jionni LaValle, isn't due until the fall, so that leaves time for plenty of pregnant partying this summer.

Will Snooki be a good mom?

 

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In light of the fact that Jionni got Snooki pregnant, and multiple cast members have their own spinoffs coming out, was this the last ever Jersey Shore?

That remains to be seen, but if Thursday night's Season 5 finale turned out to be a swan song, our favorite roving gang of guidos/ettes could do worse.

Between an epic prank war, laughter, tears, bittersweet emotions, hooking up with two lesbians and even a natural disaster, this chapter had it all in Seaside.

Let's recap the season finale of Jersey Shore, THG style!

Here's to the Shore

The Situation gets upset when he sees Pauly D and Vinny's latest prank. Like, for real upset. Like, it "really, really, really" pisses him off, he assures us.

And by that metric, Operation Inside Out was totes a success! Plus 14.

Eventually, Pauly helped Sitch bring all his "ruined" belongings back in the house. Because that's what friends do ... to help others quit whining. Plus 4.

Sitch tells Snook the gossip about Deena's sister. Guy cannot go 15 minutes without gossiping. Minus 10 for being lame, Plus 15 for entertaining fans.

Deena finds a new drink holder. Fake boobs are so utilitarian. Plus 9.

Vinny becomes "friends" with two lesbians at the club, and it seems they're into him too. It's as if he's died and gone to guido heaven. Plus 20.

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Will the pregnant Snooki be back on Jersey Shore next season? Should she be?

The network has said that no final decision has been made yet about a sixth season, but odds are it will be back, with or without its most famous guidette.

The program has been cable's most-watched series at times (scary but true) and while Schnookers is one of the main reasons, she's not the only draw.

Now that Snooki's pregnant and engaged, it's hard to see her back ... or is it?

JWoww and Snook

How would a girl who's supposedly serious about being a good wife and mother carry on in that madhouse? Would Jionni LaValle ever go for that?

But does she really have the good sense to walk away from fame after her 15 minutes (and spinoff, being filmed in the photo above) are finally up?

Or will she angle for yet another show? Right now it remains to be seen ... but we pray for the little Jionni/Vinny Jr. she's carrying inside of her.

Speaking of which ... vote in our survey:

Will Snooki be a good mother?

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

In light of the fact that Jionni LaValle got Snooki pregnant, this week's Jersey Shore seemed almost irrelevant ... and at the same time told us a lot.

Last night's show was filmed long before this bombshell, of course, but the buildup to Mike revealing his "master plan" had long been in the works.

Who were the winners and losers of this epic conflict?

Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style, and find out!

Mike and Jionni

After The Situation tells Snooki's boyfriend that she cheated on him, the two shake hands. Mostly amicable, really. If only for a moment. Plus 11.

Even if Sitch's story is true, which it probably is, let's dace it, it's funny to watch Jionni and Snooki laugh about it as Mike expects drama. Plus 17.

For whatever reason, Mike decides he will go well every roommate what he did ... as if they care or he's doing it out of actual guilt. Minus 45.

When Vin porked Snook, he did not do this. Plus 8.

Snooki confronts The Situation, taking out aggression during a food fight. It's not as good as the Italy melee, but nevertheless, Plus 8.

The roommates watch as Snooki faces off against Sitch. Ever the protective figure, Pauly D tries to shield Deena from the fight. Plus 12.

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It's official: Snooki is totally preggers.

No, the Jersey Shore star is not married to Jionni LaValle. And, yes, she drinks both often and heavily. But people must stop giving this pint-sized trainwreck such grief says someone who has often held her hair back on the bathroom floor.

"It's not like she's 16 and pregnant," Sammi Giancola told E! News. "She's doing her thing, she's living her life and I just think she's blessed. I can't wait to see a little guido or guidette running around. I just think it's going to be so exciting."

  • Sammi Giancola Photograph
  • Snooki's Pregnant!

What about Snooki and LaValle's wedding? (Note: Did you see that engagement ring?!?) Sammi is psyched.

"I can see her having a cheetah or zebra print-themed wedding because she loves animal print... I'm excited for them. I just can't wait to party for the wedding and do all the fun things she has coming in her life now."

Do you think Snooki will make a good mother?

 

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Snooki's new Jersey Shore spinoff is all about the baby she has yet to acknowledge is now growing in her womb. The evidence is slowly but surely starting to pile up.

Proof that Jionni LaValle is responsible for getting Snooki pregnant? A Jersey City baby store has already been contacted by producers about shooting on location.

The owner of Bambi Baby says someone from 495 Productions, the company behind Jersey Shore, reached out to the baby store within the last few weeks.

Snooki's Tattoo

This was right around the time Snooki was adamantly denying she was pregnant ... a lie that was fairly convincing, but has since unraveled rapidly in the last few days.

The peeps at 495 asked Bambi for permission to shoot some scenes inside the store, and after some hesitation, the owner agreed, unlike one local wine store.

It's unclear when shooting is scheduled to begin, and Snooki has yet to state publicly that she is knocked up, but expect an announcement any day now.

Whenever she gets the best deal with Us Weekly, in other words.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Snooki is pregnant. Let's just get that out of the way right now. Jionni LaValle got effing Snooki pregnant. Amazing. The apocalypse cannot be too far behind.

Last night's episode was filmed long before this revelation, of course, and shows Snooki doing her usual drunken, moronic thing. But it puts it all in perspective.

Thursday, The Situation tried to stir the pot (shocker), the gang ran into a familiar face, someone went to the sex store and some idiot got arrested. Who was it?!

Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style, and find out!

Snooki and Vinny Picture

Snooki and Vinny played coy about their flirtatious night out on the boardwalk, but nothing sexual happened. Phew. Could've been paternity test drama. Plus 9.

Deena, Pauly D, Mike and Vinny went to Jenk's, and they ran into ... Angelina Pivarnick! We forgot about her! Does this mean she's back on the show? Minus 10.

Nah. As Pauly said, they "kept it movin'." Oh, hey! Later! Plus 19.

The Situation strikes out with his girl. So does Pauly. Chalk it up to shyness and tampons, but it just wasn't happening for the dudes on this evening. Minus 8.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Looks like it's official: Snooki is pregnant. God help us.

We have Jionni LaValle to blame for getting Snooki pregnant. Having dated for about a year at this point, the tanned couple is expecting its first child together.

"She's about 3-4 months along now," a source tells E!'s Mark Malkin, as reliable a person as there is in the celeb gossip field. So why hasn't she confirmed it?

  1. She doesn't want to jinx it
  2. She wants to get PAID
F-ing Snooki

The 24-year-old Jersey Shore cast memnber (real name Nicole Polizzi) is hoping to turn the pregnancy into money-making deals, according to the New York Post.

She's also deeply superstitious about adhering to the rule of reaching the 12-week mark before breaking the news. Now that it's passed, expect it imminently.

Earlier this month, Snooki shot down Star magazine claims that she was expecting. But she lied, according to E! and the Post, and is totally with child. Eeeek.

Snooki has always said she dreamed of being a mom one day. "I want two, a boy and a girl," she said in 2010. "I'm going to name them Isabella and Frankie."

No word yet on whether it will be Isabella or Frankie arriving this year, but the world's collective I.Q. may well drop a couple of points. Girl is not bright. Or sober.

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