by Free Britney at . Comments

In light of the fact that Jionni LaValle got Snooki pregnant, this week's Jersey Shore seemed almost irrelevant ... and at the same time told us a lot.

Last night's show was filmed long before this bombshell, of course, but the buildup to Mike revealing his "master plan" had long been in the works.

Who were the winners and losers of this epic conflict?

Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style, and find out!

Mike and Jionni

After The Situation tells Snooki's boyfriend that she cheated on him, the two shake hands. Mostly amicable, really. If only for a moment. Plus 11.

Even if Sitch's story is true, which it probably is, let's dace it, it's funny to watch Jionni and Snooki laugh about it as Mike expects drama. Plus 17.

For whatever reason, Mike decides he will go well every roommate what he did ... as if they care or he's doing it out of actual guilt. Minus 45.

When Vin porked Snook, he did not do this. Plus 8.

Snooki confronts The Situation, taking out aggression during a food fight. It's not as good as the Italy melee, but nevertheless, Plus 8.

The roommates watch as Snooki faces off against Sitch. Ever the protective figure, Pauly D tries to shield Deena from the fight. Plus 12.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It's official: Snooki is totally preggers.

No, the Jersey Shore star is not married to Jionni LaValle. And, yes, she drinks both often and heavily. But people must stop giving this pint-sized trainwreck such grief says someone who has often held her hair back on the bathroom floor.

"It's not like she's 16 and pregnant," Sammi Giancola told E! News. "She's doing her thing, she's living her life and I just think she's blessed. I can't wait to see a little guido or guidette running around. I just think it's going to be so exciting."

  • Sammi Giancola Photograph
  • Snooki's Pregnant!

What about Snooki and LaValle's wedding? (Note: Did you see that engagement ring?!?) Sammi is psyched.

"I can see her having a cheetah or zebra print-themed wedding because she loves animal print... I'm excited for them. I just can't wait to party for the wedding and do all the fun things she has coming in her life now."

Do you think Snooki will make a good mother?

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

Snooki's new Jersey Shore spinoff is all about the baby she has yet to acknowledge is now growing in her womb. The evidence is slowly but surely starting to pile up.

Proof that Jionni LaValle is responsible for getting Snooki pregnant? A Jersey City baby store has already been contacted by producers about shooting on location.

The owner of Bambi Baby says someone from 495 Productions, the company behind Jersey Shore, reached out to the baby store within the last few weeks.

Snooki's Tattoo

This was right around the time Snooki was adamantly denying she was pregnant ... a lie that was fairly convincing, but has since unraveled rapidly in the last few days.

The peeps at 495 asked Bambi for permission to shoot some scenes inside the store, and after some hesitation, the owner agreed, unlike one local wine store.

It's unclear when shooting is scheduled to begin, and Snooki has yet to state publicly that she is knocked up, but expect an announcement any day now.

Whenever she gets the best deal with Us Weekly, in other words.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Snooki is pregnant. Let's just get that out of the way right now. Jionni LaValle got effing Snooki pregnant. Amazing. The apocalypse cannot be too far behind.

Last night's episode was filmed long before this revelation, of course, and shows Snooki doing her usual drunken, moronic thing. But it puts it all in perspective.

Thursday, The Situation tried to stir the pot (shocker), the gang ran into a familiar face, someone went to the sex store and some idiot got arrested. Who was it?!

Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style, and find out!

Snooki and Vinny Picture

Snooki and Vinny played coy about their flirtatious night out on the boardwalk, but nothing sexual happened. Phew. Could've been paternity test drama. Plus 9.

Deena, Pauly D, Mike and Vinny went to Jenk's, and they ran into ... Angelina Pivarnick! We forgot about her! Does this mean she's back on the show? Minus 10.

Nah. As Pauly said, they "kept it movin'." Oh, hey! Later! Plus 19.

The Situation strikes out with his girl. So does Pauly. Chalk it up to shyness and tampons, but it just wasn't happening for the dudes on this evening. Minus 8.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Looks like it's official: Snooki is pregnant. God help us.

We have Jionni LaValle to blame for getting Snooki pregnant. Having dated for about a year at this point, the tanned couple is expecting its first child together.

"She's about 3-4 months along now," a source tells E!'s Mark Malkin, as reliable a person as there is in the celeb gossip field. So why hasn't she confirmed it?

  1. She doesn't want to jinx it
  2. She wants to get PAID
F-ing Snooki

The 24-year-old Jersey Shore cast memnber (real name Nicole Polizzi) is hoping to turn the pregnancy into money-making deals, according to the New York Post.

She's also deeply superstitious about adhering to the rule of reaching the 12-week mark before breaking the news. Now that it's passed, expect it imminently.

Earlier this month, Snooki shot down Star magazine claims that she was expecting. But she lied, according to E! and the Post, and is totally with child. Eeeek.

Snooki has always said she dreamed of being a mom one day. "I want two, a boy and a girl," she said in 2010. "I'm going to name them Isabella and Frankie."

No word yet on whether it will be Isabella or Frankie arriving this year, but the world's collective I.Q. may well drop a couple of points. Girl is not bright. Or sober.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Though she has publicly denied she’s pregnant, sources say trashy Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is indeed with child - and making plans to cash in on the offspring ASAP.

Polizzi, 24, is carrying her first child with boyfriend Jionni LaValle, and is roughly three months along, the N.Y. Post claims. Star reported this a few weeks back.

Sources say the reality star has already brokered a deal to announce the news on the cover of Us Weekly after she shopped the story to big celebrity magazines.

Snooki Smoking

However, sources tell Page Six that MTV is worried about how to manage the news, given that Snooki’s drunken, idiotic ways just scored her a spinoff with JWoww.

“MTV went into crisis mode after they found out,” said a source. “They’re trying to hide it because it would greatly affect the creative direction of the show.”

The new show has begun taping and focuses on the ladies’ relationship as friends and roommates in Jersey City, N.J., and whatever adventures come their way.

Star reported a few weeks ago that Jionni got Snooki pregnant but that she'd told “only her close friends and family.” But she denied it straight up on GMA.

Since then, Polizzi, who has notably lost at least 20 pounds off of her 4-foot-9 frame over the last year, has started filming her new show in Jersey City.

Pics taken on set shown her carrying large bags to hide her belly. A rep for MTV “doesn’t comment on series in production.” Polizzi’s rep also did not comment.

Stay tuned, and prepare for the collective world I.Q. to possibly drop a bit.

UPDATE: A fairly reputable source, Marc Malkin of E! News, tweeted that a source confirmed the Post story and that Snooki is indeed with child. Goodness.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and Jenni "JWoww" Farley recently began shooting their Jersey Shore spinoff ... which may or may not be derailed because Snooki is pregnant.

Possible baby Snookis aside, the girls recently dished to Us about the show:

"It's going to be me and Nicole living in a house: our ups and downs, relationships with our boyfriends who we love dearly, our families - who are insane! - and our friends who you really don't get to see on [Jersey Shore]," Jenni said.

JWoww and Snooki Pic

Viewers will see a different, reserved side of the two stars, Snook promised.

"We want it to be different than Jersey Shore, so it's not always going to at the club, drinking and partying. It's the first time I'm going to be on my own for real."

"You've only seen the party side of us. Now you'll see the sober side."

Yeah right. Check out a brief interview with the two stars post-jump:

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Yes, that actually happened on this week's Jersey Shore ... in one sense.

Last night's episode saw Roger knock some fool out, while the gang partook in a lot of water sports. Again, not as dirty as it sounds. Plenty idiotic, but not that dirty.

Later on, Lola the rabbit went to Karma and Ron got a mini-bike. Aww! How did everything else play out in Seaside Heights? Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style!

Lola at Karma

Roger KO'd the dude who started messing with JWoww at the end of last week's episode. Not too much of a cliffhanger there ... have you seen Roger?! Plus 9.

Snooki gets upset when her boyfriend is too sick to smush. Jionni booting in the bathroom totally gets in the way of her "getting it in." Tragic news. Minus 4.

Meanwhile, Roger spends time with the roommates, talking and eating one of Mike's famous late-night sandwiches, instead of getting it in with J. Plus 10.

In an attempt to do something different, the producers Deena and Sammi persuaded the group to go to fishing, and crabbing. It is the shore, so Plus 6.

"I never thought I'd be excited about catching crabs." - Sitch. Too easy, but Plus 10.

The Situation helps Deena control the raft. Deena hits the water while Ronnie tries to deflate the raft. It's all pretty much a three-ring CF circus. Plus 7.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

The Jersey City, N.J., booze emporium next door to where Snooki and JWoww are filming their upcoming Jersey Shore spinoff apparently wants nothing to do with them.

So adamantly that they're banned from the store!

In a morally commendable, financially disastrous move, the place wants Snooki to steer completely clear ... even posting a sign on the door telling her to keep the hell out.

JWoww n' Snooki

Talk about turning away a couple of potentially loyal customers.

JWoww isn't welcome there either, so the ladies will have to find a place to buy their binge drinking supplies somewhere else. Somehow we imagine they'll manage.

The general manager at the wine shop said that while the sign says "No Snooki," it applies to her BFF too: "Even if Jwoww shows up at our door she will not be let in."

"The only thing they are good for is ridicule and amusement. There's no upside business wise; the potential downside is God knows what. Why feed the embarrassment?”

This guy is our new hero.

by Free Britney at . Comments

That's not a euphemism or double entendre. It was a legitimate question Thursday.

This week down at the glamorous and totally disease-free New Jersey Shore ... JWoww and Rog patched things up, Sitch and Paula grew closer, Deena "did sex" with some schmoe, while someone ate her and Snooki's special cake for Danny!

How did it all play out in Seaside Heights? Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style!

Cake Thief

Deena and Snooki decide to make an apology cake for their boss. It's not a meatball cake, but it is made and frosted and decorated by them with love. Aww. Plus 12.

Once morning came, a corner of the cake was eaten! MIKE! Minus 6.

Deena ends up with cake in her face. Again, not a euphemism. Plus 4. After she says "I wanted him to get the full-on cake," Danny gives it to her, in the grill.

Cake or no cake, Snooki was late to work again, as she goes to the doctor to get treatment for her UTI. Minus 15 for us visualizing the state of Snooki's UT.

She's had 10 UTIs in the past year she says. How is that even ... Minus 10.

Snooki and JWoww accuse Situation of stealing a piece of the apology cake, but it turns out it was ... Pauly D! Minus 7 for the (unlikely) false accusation.

"Don't cook a cake in my house and expect me not to eat it," he says. Fair. Plus 5.

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